Hi, friends. I'm so pleased to announce that I have the honor of co-hosting Jenny McCarthy's radio program on Sirius Stars 109 this Tuesday, April 3rd from 10 - noon EDT.

Here is a link for a FREE 30 day trial of Sirius so that you can tune in. 

One of Jenny's guests is in our wheelhouse. That's all I'm saying.  But you NEVER know what Jenny will say! XOX

Kim

By Kim Rossi

CULT!

Yeah, that was a clickbait headline. Today's post is short and sweet. And snarky. The best kind! LOL!

Yesterday I got the RT (return Tweet) in the above photo in response to a Tweet where I talked about my gorgeous, severely autistic 23 year old daughter and the #SaidNoMother hashtag being used by parents whose kids have been killed or seriously injured by vaccinations.  I appreciate that Eve thinks we started the hashtag, because the tag is just so good. But all credit goes to Joshua Coleman, activist and father of a severely vaccine injured son himself.

As far as the Jenny Cult comment - Jenny and I will chat about this on April 3rd when I guest host her Sirius Satellite Radio program. Feel free to call in, Eve. Really. We'll take your call and treat you with more respect than you showed either Jenny or me. Maybe you have autism. Maybe not. No matter. If Jenny or I could help you in any way, we would. That's how Jenny rolls - despite the vicious attacks she faces every day. And if you knew even the first thing about me, you'd know I adore my girls even though I would cure their autism in a New York minute; and spend my working days trying to help out in the community.

I invite all of our readers to listen in to The Jenny McCarthy show on Sirius STARS on April 3rd, 10 - noon EDT.  Decide for yourself if we  get all.....culty.

Speaking of Jenny. She created her own #SaidNoMother meme about her son Evan and his life shaking seizures:


Eve uses her own hashtag - #ActuallyAutistic.  I applaud her ability to type and am amused by her instinct to throw shade at MOTHERS OF ACTUALLY AUTISTIC people. Namely my 3 girls.  Think about it - Eve has or had a Mom. I hope that her Mom tried very hard to help her succeed in life. As I do for my three girls who are (new hashtag!) #ACTUALLYSOAUTISTICTHEYCANNEVERLIVEALONEHAVECONSTANTCAREWILLNEVERDATEFALLINLOVEGET
MARRIEDHAVEKIDSDRIVEACARANDWILLNEEDMEUNTILTHEDAYIDIEANDTHENSTILLNEEDME.

Love,

Kim Rossi - formerly HashStag...  ;)

Kim is the author of All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa from Skyhorse Publishing and Managing Editor of Age of Autism. She lives in CT with her three daughters, who are now young women with autism.

By Kim Rossi

Today is the first day of Spring! I don't know where you live, but here in Connecticut, old man Winter is not giving an inch of ground to young, fair Spring. We're expecting yet another wintery storm tomorrow. We've already run out of snow days on our calendar. We're chipping away at our April break next.

We're less than two weeks away from autism's version of March Madness: Autism "Awareness" Month. If I recall the blur that was March 2017, there wasn't as much hoopla or bluepla, was there?

Many of us have kids who are turning 18, aging out or have been out of school for a few years  now.  What does the month mean to us?  I know I keep the faith that my girls will learn and grow throughout their lifetimes - like any adult.  But the "WE WILL FIX IT" that I wrote on my giant desk calendar (complete with blotter, remember those?) in January of 2000 is a long distant memory. I haven't fixed all that much for my girls.  So it seems. They still struggle 24.7.365 with their autism. But I'll never give up. I'll pursue every avenue my heart and pocketbook can stand. After all, hope Springs eternal.

XOX

Kim

Thanks to AG for allowing us to run this photo she posted on social media. This is her hotel room - and the lengths to which she has to go to keep her son with autism from eloping from the room while they sleep. How many of you have done something similar?

I wish I had in Florida many years ago. You might recall that I wrote about Mia quietly leaving the adjoining room while we unpacked at Disney on a 2200 acre resort property. A travel agent named Carol found Mia in the glass elevator counting floors. Carol had a grandson with autism and knew that Mia, although 12 and gorgeous, was autistic. She brought her to the lobby safely, while I literally RAN around the Lake Erie sized swimming pool lagoon thingy screaming and  begging sunbathers to look for Mia. I was saying, "She looks like me, she has brown curly hair. She's autistic and might drown," over and over again.  I was sobbing. Sick.

Share your stories in our comments.

Happy Nor'Easter day. The rain is coming down in buckets here in Connecticut. Snow to follow. And strong wind. March is a lot like autism, in like a lion.

Have a good weekend. Thanks. Kim

By Kim Rossi

There was a petition from Change.org in my in-box this weekend. Lauren's Law in Oklahoma seeks educational funds to teach high school students about informed consent regarding sexual relations.

"Lauren was raped by a boy she knew from school. She was shocked to find out he had no idea what legal consent was."

HB2734 will allow for the development of age appropriate programs on consent and healthy relationship behavior. These programs will teach students about consent and how to recognize and prevent relationship violence, including physical and emotional relationship abuse. It will also address relationship communication skills, emotional health, and accountability.

Federal funds are available for this consent and safe relationship education to be implemented at the state level through Title IV-A of the Every Student Succeeds Act. Under the last administration, the White House Council on Women and Girls Report estimated the cost of rape to be as high as $240,776 per incident, including medical services, investigations, loss of productivity, and quality of life. With the high cost of assault and federal funding available, there’s no excuse not to protect and educate our kids.

Let’s do this for Lauren, the young women we started our movement for, and all the survivors who hope for a better world.

I have three daughters. I want to protect them at all costs.   If I had sons, I'd want to protect them too. As a martial artist, I teach self defense to boys, girls, women and men. We teach children how to prevent bullying.  We also teach children how NOT TO BECOME a bully.  We teach kids how to win. And we teach them how to lose. I think teaching them how NOT to become a bully and how to lose is the more important lesson. And sorely lacking in much of their teaching outside of the dojo. I would like to see schools teach martial arts self-defense to students, then girls can show boys what NO means with their fists. There is a time for fighting. We've lost that in our zero tolerance culture.

With that in mind, I am in favor of classes to teach boys and girls what "NO" means.  Dating is nothing like it was when a cute boy and I exchanged a note written in ink in the hallway. Or when a boy whispered to a boy who whispered to a girl who whispered to another girl who whispered to me that he liked me.  Bonne Bell Lip Smackers are the thing of the past, replaced by swiping left and right or sexting while Mom and Dad are in the living room watching a Seinfeld rerun.  The dog eared Playboy hidden away has been replaced by 24/7 on demand porn the likes of which was never aired in the seediest Times' Square XXX theatre decades ago.

By Kim Rossi

"This email that came through [last night] was different." Dr. Suzanne Humphries.

A vicious death threat email was sent to Dr. Suzanne Humphries from a secure server in Germany that is designed to protect users from tracking.  You and I might have been tempted once or twice to anonymously post a nasty comment here or there (well, never here at A of A.)  I remember commenting something snarky on an old autism blog a decade ago not realizing that IP addresses were trackable - dopey me!  I got caught.  That said... We don't seek out specially designed servers to use a version of the dark web.  Nor do we threaten torture in technicolor, gleeful detail. That's beyond the pale and into psychopathy.


Dr. Suzanne Humphries is doing the right thing by reading this vile email to the public.  Hatred dies in sunshine.

Many of us have been subjected to threats, sometimes veiled as jokes. Remember when one pro-vaxxer joked that Dan and Mark should be "shot?" Ha ha - vaccine pun.  I think it was that woman... Lordy I can't even remember her name. She had a popular blog and a son with severe autism name Charlie. Vox something or other?

I had a cartoon removed from Science blogs many years ago, because the tone went beyond a joke.  Just two weeks ago, Mark Blaxill and I sat with Dr. Andy Wakefield at an art gallery in Massachusetts.  Anyone could have been in the audience. And as much as I love my martial arts, in the rock scissors paper of life, guns from 6 feet away beat kicks and punches every time.  I rarely carry my nunchaku in my purse. (Oy!)

I hope Paul Offit, Brian Deer, Orac Gorski, Dorit Rubenstein Reiss, Amy Pisani, Dr. Richard Pan and any and ALL pro-vaccine advocates come out and say "NO," to this violent threat. To ANY violent threat.  It's the human thing to do, even if opinions are diametrically opposite.

Please keep Dr. Suzanne, Polly and everyone in our community in your thoughts of safety and care. May archangel Michael wrap all of us in his shield of protection.  And as much as Dr. Suzanne says God is her bodyguard, nothing replaces vigilance. And a bodyguard may be a good idea at least short term for her.

If you see something, say something. Trust your alarm bells if they ring in your head.

By Kim Rossi

There's no kind way to say this, so I won't attempt to hide my scorn, not at the kids but the system.  American kids who are eating Tide laundry soap packets are not well. Yes, kids will be kids. Kids do stupid things. I did stupid things. Life threatening even. I did not eat laundry soap. Period. End of story.  I had an instinct that told me, "This will kill you."

I see a lack of basic critical self-preservation skills in this new Tide Challenge. My daughters with autism have almost no self-protective skills. It's part of the their disability. Eat a Tide pod is within the realm of cognitive disability.

When I was a kid, we used to belt out "The Comet Song." I'll bet you know it yourself. Eating detergent was a joke even a 6 year old kid could understand. We also used to sing "Glory Glory Hallelujah, teacher hit me with a rulah (hey, I grew up in BAHSTUN Massachusetts so the rhyme worked perfectly) I hid behind the door with a loaded 44 and the teacher is no more." That was before school aged males were prone to mass school shootings.

The kids are not all right.  I'm sure the AAP will come out with a grave statement of concern any moment. Remember when Katie Wright wrote about their response to the cinnamon challenge a few years ago?  Perhaps if we weren't over vaccinating our kids into oblivion they'd have a lot fewer challenges.

Note: I came across an article about cancer deaths and thought it worth sharing for your opinions. Cancer deaths are said to be down in America. Of course that's good news. Except that I know far too many young Moms in their 30s and 40s with breast and thyroid cancer, and brain cancer has taken several acquaintances over the last five years.

Now, imagine if the bulk of funding for cancer had been purely in genetics over the last several decades because the cigarette industry continued to win its battle to hide the facts about smoking safety.  Sound familiar? How bad would it be (hint, not at all) if we found the environmental cause(s) to what we call autism in 2018 and watched rates plummet? Would our kids never have been born? Of course not. They'd still likely have quirks we love, intelligence we respect and maybe even subtle traits we might identify as "spectrumy." But they wouldn't be disabled, like my girls.

See that photo? That's my Bella's painful, raw toe.  I noticed this wound on both of her feet on Sunday. I have no idea which shoes did this to her feet. Shoes that I have been putting on her feet every day.  She's had behaviors in school.  "Aggression." Ha ha.

Maybe her feet hurt like hell and she couldn't tell anyone?

How bad would it be to get rid of THAT?  Kim

Cancer deaths have fallen yet again, thanks mostly to huge declines in smoking, the American Cancer Society said Thursday.

More than 2.3 million people have not died of cancer since 1991 who otherwise would have if cancer rates had remained unchanged, the group said in its annual report on cancer.

Yet 4,700 Americans are diagnosed with cancer every day and cancer remains the No. 2 cause of death in the United States, right behind heart disease.

Related: Sometimes, cancer is random

“A decline in consumption of cigarettes is credited with being the most important factor in the drop in cancer death rates,” said Dr. Otis Brawley, chief medical officer of the American Cancer Society.

“Strikingly though, tobacco remains by far the leading cause of cancer deaths today, responsible for nearly three in ten cancer deaths.”

By Kim Rossi

Captain's Log. Stardate January 8, 2018. "We're exhausted. Trapped. Not sure we'll ever leave this planet called.... snowed in."

I'm loopy, friends. We had a Nor'Easter Blizzardy thing on Wednesday that closed everything here in Connecticut for two days. My car battery died on Saturday, a victim of low single digit temperatures inside my garage. We've watched so much Nick Jr. it's now Nick the XIV. 

Yesterday, I was poking around CNN and came across an interesting article that caught my eye because it jogged my memories of Dan and his (and Mark Blaxill's) tireless writing about mercury,  medicine and the man made epidemic so many of us live every day - snow day or not.. Titled, Radium Girls: The dark times of luminous watches. 

A century ago, glow-in-the-dark watches were an irresistible novelty. The dials, covered in a special luminous paint, shone all the time and didn't require charging in sunlight. It looked like magic.

Sounds a lot like the mercury and the Age of Autism, doesn't it?  Thimerosal is safe. Mercury is safe. Aluminum is safe. GMO foods are safe. Glyphosates are safe. Trust your corporate American Daddies - everything is safe. Especially profits.

You're living in your own Private Idaho
Where do I go from here to a better state than this
Well, don't be blind to the big surprise
Swimming round and round like the deadly hand
Of a radium clock, at the bottom of the pool
The B-52s

Kim Rossi is Managing Editor for Age of Autism.

By Kim Rossi

Like everyone in America, I've been watching the sexual harassment scandal grow ever wider from politicians to actors and directors and now to include media stalwarts Matt Lauer of NBC and Charlie Rose, darling of PBS. Matt Lauer is said to have had a lock button installed under his desk so he could lock a door on a woman without her knowing it, and perhaps to avoid standing up and exposing his, er interest. (Paging Judy Blume!)  In autism we calling locking someone into a room a restraint. Matt called it privacy, I suppose.

At what point will politicians and the media start listening to mothers of autistic children who have been screaming, some for decades, that a vaccine caused their child's autism? When do we get to move from the "crazy, histrionic, too stupid to understand real science blaming mothers" category to the "holy crap, these women (and their kids) have been living a nightmare and we made it worse"?  When do pains in the ass who dare to threaten commerce and sacred cows become legitimate citizens with a message of dire discrimination and trauma? We need our turn.

I'm looking forward to our day of reckoning.  And if you're a female looking for a job in Hollywood or the media, today is a good day to apply. I wish my almost 23 year old and 22 year old vaccine injured daughters could take advantage of this female friendly climate.

Kim Rossi is Managing Editor for Age of Autism.

By Kim Rossi

What does autism look like in your home?  I have three flavors here, having three daughters on the spectrum.  This is Mia's closet. She wears blue jeans and a pink top during the day, and changes into black yoga pants and a solid black top after her adult day program. Every day. 365 days a year. It makes dressing both easy and difficult.

The push to neurodiversity ignores people like Mia. She has no super powers. She's not a testable genius. She can't argue with me on Twitter that her autism is a gift.

Mia matters. All of our children matter. And that's the black and pink of autism.

XOX

Kim Rossi is Managing Editor for Age of Autism.

Note: If your child or friend or even yourself with autism is a genius who can or could function in a high pressure, snap decision, life or death job like surgery please let us know.  We never want to insult our readers - especially those who are on the spectrum.  Are there savants? Yes of course. But the trend to portraying autism as a desirable gift is troubling to us here at AofA.   I know children with amazing splinter skills. Math and calendar geniuses, for instance. "What day was April 4, 1874?" And my friend's son can answer. I can't and I'm too tired to Google it.

This week the FBI report on Sandy Hook mass murderer Adam Lanza was released and reported on in many media outlets. Adam had Asperger's, but the report indicates almost what I could consider full autism. He could not stand light. He could not stand sound. He could not wear clothes. He weighed 111 pounds at his death, so clearly he did not or could not eat. He perseverated on mass shootings. Hadn't left his room in 3 months according to the report. Communicated with his enabling "gun nut" mother  (that's the report's language) via email only during those 3 months.  And he also had an indication of pedophilia. Is he also an aberration? Hell yes. Adam Lanza is NOT the face of Asperger's.  And neither is the Good Doctor.

There's a reason for my outrage, our outrage. If autism is seen as a gift and not a life shattering (for many) diagnosis, who will fund research? Who will pass laws protecting our loved ones? Who will make sure social security benefits and Medicaid stay around to help our kids survive? This is the USA.  We are a short term nation. Remember Houston's floods?  Aw heck that was how many tragedies ago? Autism will disappear as a voting issue. We'll lose clout such as we have any. Our kids will lose a lot more.  KIM

By Sarah Bradley Read the full article here.

A few weeks ago, ABC premiered a new drama called The Good Doctor, about a young surgical resident with high-functioning autism. Dr. Shaun Murphy has a traumatic past and many challenges to overcome, but clear talent in his chosen profession.

He's also a genius. It says so right there in the promotional trailer for the series. In the first episode, audiences can see the visual representation of his brain working overtime as he taps into a bank of memorized facts and manipulates anatomical diagrams in his head, all before synthesizing that information in superheroic fashion during medical crises.

This is not a show I want to watch. I'm tired of what the entertainment business thinks autism looks like—it's a perception that's far removed from reality.

The well-known pop culture motif of the "autistic savant" likely started with the release of the film Rain Man in 1988. While savant syndrome is real, it's actually quite rare—only 10 percent of people with autism are estimated to have savant abilities. But the stereotype has hung around stubbornly since then, appearing in film and television to spread the misconception that autism—despite its varying degrees of impairment—is something that can also bear desirable or even enviable gifts.

That message is damaging in more ways than one. It's insulting to the large percentage of people on the spectrum without savant abilities, because it implies their stories aren't as valuable or worth telling. It also promotes the falsehood that an autism diagnosis nearly always comes pre-packaged with extreme giftedness.

"It's true that many individuals with high-functioning autism have very high levels of intelligence and savant-like abilities," says Harry Voulgarakis, a psychologist and director of the Shoreline Center for Social Learning in Connecticut. "But it's important to remember that this is a small percentage of individuals on the spectrum…in fact, about 40 percent of people diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder [ASD] have an intellectual disability, or a lower range IQ. So while the media representations of ASD are not necessarily inaccurate, they are limited in the many aspects of ASD that they are portraying."

NOTE: This post is brought to you by the letter R for reality. 

By Kim Rossi

As most of you know, I have three daughters with autism. They are 22, 21 and 17 years old. One of the first questions I get when I speak to parents of young girls on the spectrum is, "How on earth will I manage her period? She has sensory issues!"   We had smooth sailing for a long time.  Each girl would wear a pad. PMS is a challenge of course.  But we managed pretty well until... we didn't. One of my girls suddenly refused to wear a pad.  "NO DIAPER."  For months I begged, cajoled, followed her around saying (OK, sometimes yelling) "NO PAD NO iPAD!" She didn't care. She was NOT going to wear a pad. As you can imagine the result was a disaster. And I was seeing red. Ruined bedsheets. Laundry galore. Going out of the house a problem. Someone recommended the pill or the IUD that stops the menses. Not for us. Someone recommended tampons - not an option as teaching her privacy has meant telling her nothing goes inside of her. And she needs help with changing a pad so I wasn't going to have staff assisting her with such an intimate job.

I read about period panties, but I thought they were like Depends. Papery... diapers. Then I read a review of a product called THINX period panties. Desperate, I ordered 3 pair.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

I repeat - PROBLEM SOLVED!

THINX panties are a beautiful, soft nylon with a comfortable waistband.  (And there is a new organic cotton option.) They look like nice underwear. I slipped a pair on my daughter before she got her period. She was none the wiser! I ordered the black hip hugger style so she would not see any blood when the time came. 

The time came.

Day 1. She wore a pair for 4 hours.

NO LEAKS!

Day 2 She wore a pair for 6 hours

NO LEAKS!

When she removes them, I rinse thoroughly (yes, that part is icky, it takes a good 5 minutes of running water) then I wash them and air dry them on a large fan. No tumble dryer.

She THINX period panties have made each month so much easier for HER most of all - NO DIAPER!  And for me too.   And for staff who works with her. She no longer feels upset on top of having cramps. I know she's happier each month.

Try them.  I wrote a comment on their Facebook page and got hundreds of replies. Tweet the company as I have and tell them that they have made a difference in the autism community.  

Maybe we can start a Light It Up Red month? 

Kim Rossi is Managing Editor for Age of Autism.

By Kim Rossi

Jimmy Kimmel recently said that he doesn't mind offending and losing Republican views of his late night TV show.   Jimmy went after the autism/vaccine injury community, making fun of 0ur children's plight, and even created a video in 2015 about "anti-vaccination." (I'll let you Google it and watch, if you  must.)

From Washington Examiner:

Late-night comedian Jimmy Kimmel said he would perform the same emotionally-charged monologues about healthcare and gun violence "again in a heartbeat," despite a drastic reduction in Republican viewership of his show.

By Kim Rossi

George Will recently said on Morning Joe that President Trump seems to suffer from a form of "social autism," referring to the President's paper towel hurling response to hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico.

From The Wrap:

On the second hour of “Morning Joe” Wednesday, George Will — the dean of conservative media — had some choice words for the president’s visit to Puerto Rico on Tuesday.

The Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post columnist said that many of Trump’s interactions with people on the island following the devastation of Hurricane Maria suggested the president was suffering from “a kind of social autism.”

He specifically zeroed in on viral footage of Trump throwing paper towels to hurricane victims in a kind of “Las Vegas lounge act” routine,as he put it.

The response to Will was swift.  I'm not sure if folks are offended because they think President Trump having autism is an insult to our kids (possible, and I'm sure plenty do) or if they feel Will was being disrespectful of the diagnosis using it as a put-down, or if they are just plain sick of the diagnosis being handed out like Halloween candy.  I'm reminded of when Jerry Seinfeld stepped in it claiming he had a form of autism because of some social anxiety and quirkiness. He retracted that statement very quickly after many of us expressed our utter dismay.

For the record, I don't think President Trump has any form of autism - a real, definable diagnosis that goes far beyond personality, and even beyond personality disorders like narcissism or arseholeism. 

By Kim Rossi

This poster is in the window of our tiny CVS here in Connecticut. The store is less than an 1/8 of the size of a newer CVS. It took over a small, lovely independent drug store here in my Fairfield county town.  But it has huge vaccination quotas if this obnoxious sign is any indication.

Read that photo. Breathe in that threat. Let it sink into your bones. Trembling? I was. With anger. Let me tell you about missed moments in my home, with my children thanks to vaccine UPTAKE,   Feel free to list your own missed moments in the comments. 

CVS, this is a revolting display of fear-based sales. You stopped selling tobacco years ago. Stop using smoke and mirrors to sell vaccines.

Missed moments for my family, in no particular order.

First sentence

Shoe tying

Class photo with smiling face

By Kim Rossi

Hi, friends. Every so often I provide a glimpse into my family. And there was that book.  Anyway, yesterday the neatest thing happened here. My oldest of three girls with autism is Mia. She is 22 years old. If you met her, you'd call her pretty severely affected. She is in a day program. Speaks minimally to make her needs known. Needs help with skills and activities of daily living.

My mornings are hectic. Bella goes to high school at 7:00am. Gianna goes to her post-grad school program at 8:00am. Mia goes to her day program at 8:20am.  They all wake up before 5:00am.

Joy.

Mia showers in the morning, then she puts on a magenta T shirt and blue jeans. Daily. Every day. 365 days a year. Pink shirt. Blue pants. End of story. You know what I mean, right?

Yesterday, I went upstairs to find the shower turned on, Mia standing ready to hop in, with ZERO prompting.

Insert blinky face emoji here.

I helped her shower and then dry off her body.

"Hmmmm," I thought to myself. "This is new independence. Let's push it."

I helped her put on her bra, and then left all of her clothes on her bed. Two pair of pants and two shirts. Choices.  And I left without saying a word.

 A few moments later, Mia came downstairs fully dressed. Zipper zipped. Button buttoned. Shirt on facing correctly. (Insert fainting emoji here.)    Sandals on her feet.

DONE. DRESSED. BOOM!

We're on a new protocol. It's very simple. OTC items you can get at most stores. Nothing medicinal. Working on the gut.

I won't tell you the name because the haters will go into attack mode. God forbid our kids make progress, right?

Mia is a gorgeous 22 year old woman. She got herself dressed without prompting today.

Tomorrow, I'll demand even more.

Keep the faith.

KIM

By Kim Rossi (formerly Stagliano, but that's another book altogether.)

While the nation was descending into darkness, both partial and full on Monday, courtesy of the solar eclipse, I noticed a lot of Tweets and FB posts laughing about "FlatEarthers."   Though I'm somewhat isolated in my autism Mom summertime and the living is hectic when is school starting where did Age of Autism go oh my gosh we need to fix that glitch Kim it's time to feed the AofA content monster again and again and again and hey is that laundry life.....  I do know that the FlatEarthers are proclaiming the earth is not a sphere and acting as if it's 1491 and no one at all should have any fun.

I am not a FlatEarther (insert sophomoric bra joke here.)

But the phrase got me to thinking about the recent political and social upheaval in our country.  I am shocked by the complete and utter indifference to the sick kids, scorn, and active hatred and even calls to violence against those of us in the vaccine safety and choice community. We've had medical doctors cry out to have our children taken from us. I've seen calls to harm us, kill us because a healthy, happy yet unvaccinated child is a perceived medical time bomb threat.

The same Americans marching against hatred, bigotry and 'isms of every sort, are often the exact same people marching FOR hatred and bigotry toward us.  And now, I shall name them.....

FlatVaxxers.

Kim Rossi is Managing Editor for Age of Autism.

April Fools! Well, not really. It's August 15th, 2017.  After the violence in Charlottesville, VA over the weekend, Merck CEO Kenneth Frazier resigned from President Trump's Manufacturing Council:

Merck CEO Kenneth Frazier is leaving President Trump's American Manufacturing Council, saying, "I feel a responsibility to take a stand against intolerance and extremism."

The resignation came after Trump was criticized for his response to the violence at white supremacist events in Charlottesville, Va., over the weekend. The president, famous for his ability to be direct and forceful, was faulted for condemning violence "on many sides."

Ken found his conscience?  I think a Ken doll has more cojones than Ken Frazier. 

Dan Olmsted always referred to AofA as "agnostic." Our discussions of autism and vaccine injury have praised and damned Republicans and Democrats, Conservatives and Liberals alike. The epidemic sees no party when it strikes a family.  What happened in Virginia goes well past politics into chaos. That said, the resignation of the CEO of the very company that makes the very vaccines that have made our kids so very sick on the grounds of "conscience" from the President's Manufacturing Council is head turning.    I can only speak for myself, and I can tell you I do not condone the violence and extremism that happened in Virginia. The mantra of white supremacy and the violence are repugnant to me.  

But I fear that the the not-so-veiled undertones of vaccination status supremacy now freely discussed in America are approaching a similar progression.  Crazy, you think? Not so much. We say, "Ignore your rights, and they will go away." We're seeing that. Doctors who condone calling Child Protective Services on parents who do not fully vaccinate. Laws to keep healthy American kids out of school based on vaccination status. Even a threats of violence toward families who make medical choices that go against the 100% vaccination compliant mantra.

Merck makes a fortune from vaccinations. The former head of the CDC became Merck's President of the Vaccine Division after leaving her post in Atlanta. Dr. William Thompson, a CDC scientist, blew the whistle on how the autism MMR link was watered down in study machinations - putting African American male toddlers are particular risk of autism.

How about this for intolerance? Merck's $250M equal-pay lawsuit gains heft as 400 more women claim discrimination

And who could forget the planet's BIGGEST fines for illegal marketing of Vioxx and THEN for the deaths and injuries?  Merck Vioxx killed and injured hundreds of thousands of Americans.

Thanks to our Adriana Gamondes for sharing this link to an Autism Society  Lehigh Valley (PA) event called Autism Eats.  There is an org called Autism Eats - not sure if this is part of their work.  From the AE website: Autism Eats provides autism-friendly non-judgmental environments for family dining, socializing and connecting with others who share similar joys and challenges.

At a time when the neurodiversity community is trying to tell us to "just accept autism" or that autism is simply a neuro-difference, programs have popped up around the nation that while good intentioned, basically ghetto'ize and segregate people with autism and their families.  What do you think of separate seatings at a restaurant for those of us with kids with autism?

Sure, a night out without dirty looks, guzzling a glass of wine or beer like a desert wanderer, eating an entire meal on the plate and not out of the box hours later at home sounds good. Reaaaallllly good. I love when I can take my girls places where we "fit in." But at what cost? If autism is a gift, a difference, not a problem to be solved or a diagnosis to be healed or God forbid cured, how are we to feel about being segregated in this way?  We can go to Sesame Place - on autism day.  We can even go to Broadway! For the autism lights up matinee. Is this sustainable living? Is it a Bandaid? If so, I'll take the Bandaid. To a point.  It does bother me that we have to be treated so differently, even though, I know we do - if that makes any sense.  

My girls and I would enjoy a meal together in a restaurant offering autism eats for sure.  But make no bones about it, there is NO OTHER diagnosis that gets this treatment.   Kim

From The Morning Call in PA:

Dinner out at a local restaurant is something many families take for granted.

By Kim Rossi

There is a pair of leggings making the rounds on Facebook and other social media from a quick print company called SunFrog.  SunFrog does not create the designs - they just print them for the person who is the seller. Their business seems perfectly lovely and they have a strict infringement policy in terms of copyright.  We'll get to that later.

Take this pair of leggings with the autism ribbon, Nike'esque swoosh (I can't imagine Nike sanctioned this use) and ad campaign inspired "Just accept it." Meaning autism.  Here again is the message hammered into us by the Neurodiversity movemement. Guess what? Autism is really not acceptable. People with autism (oh, like my three girls) are indeed acceptable, lovable, adorable ad nauaseam.  How about a "Just accept it" Alzheimer's shirt? Breast cancer? Bipolar? Schizophrenia?

Do you really think autism is some unicorn diagnosis that isn't serious, life threatening, family ripping, economy strapping and yes, heart breaking?  Good grief!

We shouldn't have to proclaim our love for our kids, and yet campaigns like this force us to say things like:

NO! I do not accept autism.
I do not accept that my son can not speak.
I do not accept that my daughter can not tend to her monthly feminine hygiene needs.
I do not accept that my son puts his hand through glass windows.

Mia's first day program day July 2016

By Kim Rossi

My daughter Mia has autism and is in a day program here in Connecticut.  She goes five days per week with transportation. While she is at her program I work and earn a living running Age of Autism, writing and consulting. I take care of Mia's sisters, who also have autism.

Today, a letter came home from the non-profit that runs her program (and dozens of other programs) that they are implementing furlough days for employees.  And families will have to pay out of pocket for the program and transportation - to the tune of more than $225 for the day.  There are six furlough days scheduled because Connecticut's budget is a train wreck and our  DEMOCRAT Governor thinks cutting the bone first is a fine idea. We have so much WEALTH in this state! And yet somehow services for the most vulnerable population is on the cutting block. 

I am my lodging protest right here, Governor Malloy.  Mia and her peers have a right to safe, healthy day.  Imagine if your local hospital or Alzheimer's unit said, "We'll be closed tomorrow. Good luck!"  Is care for those truly unable to care for themselves a privilege?  Privilege is the hedge fund life further down the Merritt in Greenwich and Stamford. Asking parents who've spent at LEAST 22 years taking care of their loved ones 24/7/365 to pony up hundreds of dollars because the STATE, one of the wealthiest states in the nation by the way, can't balance a budget is bulllroar.  We lost GE headquarters a few years ago. We are one of the LEAST business friendly states in America in terms of taxes and cost of living.  So what are we? We're not Republican. We're not Democrat. We're Draconiats?  Nonsense. 

How about I bring Mia and her peers to the statehouse and YOU help them manage their day. Feed them. Change those who need diapers. Work on their behaviors. Push their wheelchairs. Translate their non-verbal communication.  Sound good, Governor Malloy and the Democrats.  Oh, can I suggest you change out of your fine suit for this day? It's going to be messy.

Here's an article describing the situation further.

MERIDEN – Days from now when Connecticut begins operating without a budget, services around the state will be cut.

Governor Malloy’s Resource Allocation Plan balances $2.1 billion through cuts alone because he does not have the power to add revenue in his executive authority. This will be the state's reality until a budget is passed. Democrats in the House of Representatives say they plan to vote on a budget on July 18.

In the meantime, agencies like MidState Arc, formerly Arc of Meriden-Wallingford, are bracing for the effects of these emergency cuts. The Arc helps more than 300 people a day throughout central Connecticut. It provides services to help people with disabilities find work and learn life skills so they can gain their own independence.

Many of MidState Arc’s programs are funded under the Department of Developmental Services, which is cut by more than $4 million in the current ‘no budget’ plan. CEO Pamela Fields said it will cost them about $50,000 a month and they would have to eliminate seven positions.

“I’m not feeling comfortable that it is temporary or if it is temporary, how temporary is it? The longer those cuts are in place the more impactful it will be on the agency and the less sustainable it will be for us to move forward,” said Fields.

By Kim Rossi

Please join me in wishing my daughter Miss G a very happy 21st birthday! 7-11 is a lucky number in slot machines, isn't it? Or is that roulette? Or craps?  Ha ha - autism joke - craps!  

G has come so far in her development over the years. She is funny, happy, bright, attentive and yes, still very, very much affected (and hindered) by her autism.  That said, I am proud of her every single day. 

Because she is a July birthday girl, she has one more year in the school district before she "ages out" into adult programming. 

I used to be terrified of birthdays. Every "big one" made me so sad.  Now that I already have a 21 year old (M is 22) and all three girls have crossed sweet 16, I find myself less crushed on their birthdays and able to celebrate in their unique way. This is a survival tactic for me.  I need to live and laugh and enjoy the girls, even as I fight to bring them forward within and maybe in some ways withOUT of their autism.

I accept and adore my girls exactly where they are today. I don't love autism. I never have and I never will. Make no mistake - if I had a magic wand I would consider using a certain unforgivable curse on it! (That's for you Harry Potter fans.)  It will always be important to me to tell the world about the realities of having a child with autism - whether 1, 11 or 21 or 51.

We're having cake and ice cream and maybe a drop of Prosecco Italian sparkling wine.  Let's toast Gianna and all of her peers who are turning 21 this year.

Happy birthday, Miss G.

Love, Mom

By Kim Rossi*

I grew up in Boston, Massachusetts. Arthur Fiedler was the conductor of the world famous Boston Pops from 1930 - 1980. Fifty years! Their July 4th celebration at the Esplanade on the Charles River is iconic even today.  I remember having a pair of red and blue Dr. Scholl sandals (when they still had "the toe bump) in 1976. I was 12 years old.

Take note of the beautiful baby held up by Mom at 1:11 (hmmm, there's an interesting number) and remember that autism was 1 in 10,000 in 1976. Virtually unheard of.  Today, how  many children are unable to attend a fireworks celebration due to sensory processing disorders and autism?

Happy Independence Day.  And thanks for your continued readership and support.

Love, Kim

NOTE: I know Julie Swanson and Jen Laviano from their dedication to special education rights here in Connecticut. If you've a child on an IEP, you know that districts are often at odds with your goals for your child. Often might even be an understatement. Jen and Julie walk you through the mirror into the real machinations of special ed, where budgets and allocations dictate services, and where the "I" in IEP stands for INTEREST of the district and not the INDIVIDUAL. 

Written in a conversational style, you don't need to be a lawyer to understand how to learn and exercise your child's rights.  Not the traditional summer read, I realize, but you'll be a better advocate and even the playing field after reading this book.  Pre-order a copy today.  It ships mid-August.  Congrats to Jen and Julie and a big thank you to Skyhorse for publishing books so valuable to our community. K

Jennifer Laviano and Julie Swanson, a high-profile special education attorney and a special education advocate, tell parents of students with disabilities how to navigate their school system to get the services they need for their children.

The authors demystify the federal laws that govern the rights of public school children with disabilities and explain how school districts often ignore or circumvent these laws. They explain the often sordid politics of special education, exposing truths like the fact that teachers are under extraordinary pressure not to spend resources on costly services. Most importantly, they show parents how to get the services their children are entitled to and make the system work for them.

Many parents don’t know they can:
Ask the school for an evaluation of their child
Get a second opinion if they disagree with the school’s testing
Request parental counseling and training (to help understand their child’s disability and child development, for example)
And so much more
Complete with checklists and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, Your Special Education Rights provides parents with the substantive information they need and the practical strategies that work.

I have a confession to make. I completely underestimate my daughters with autism. It's ridiculous how dumb I am sometimes about their ability. There's an easy laziness that has come to me whereby I do not expect the girls to surprise me with new skills. Can't say I'm proud about how the exhaustion of tending to three young adults (16 - 22) has taken a toll on my commitment to bringing them forward.

Mia decided to give me a shake up. God bless her. She loves her iPad. She loves Bella's iPad. She love's Gianna's iPad and iPhone. She loves the computer. If Mia had her druthers, her bed would look like the control room at ABC World News Tonight with 15 screens running different information in a concert where she herself was the conductor. She can process and use information so fast.

At night I charge the devices and hide them until morning. This way I can sleep in until 5:00am, maybe even 6:00am.

Mia was a pure Sesame Street gal for twenty two years. But in the last 6 months, since she began her day program post school, she has discovered, to my great joy, Charlie Brown! He's a classic! I adored him as a kid and had lots of Snoopy, Charlie Brown and Peanuts items in my room. My Mom even has our old Snoopy phone! So I've been delighted that Mia has moved away from Sesame Street (especially since the show is now a pharma/public health sales tool) and to the classic Peanuts.

I own a Kindle e-reader, not a Kindle Fire. A few days ago, I came downstairs to make coffee and discovered Mia sitting at my desk in my office (corner of the kitchen) swiping my Kindle. I took a look, and lo and behold, she had bought Charlie Brown books!  Mia had never seen my Kindle open. She was never taught how to use it. But she swiped, found the store, searched for Charlie Brown and.... bought two books! Most folks wouldn't assume Mia can even read.  She CAN. She can spell. I was delighted!! This was her very first individual purchase.  And a wake up call for me, for which there will never be enough coffee. Our kids, my kids, have so many skills to show us. I'm angry at myself for having to be surprised. But thrilled to know maybe Mia would like a Kindle - a more passive device on which she would have to read. 

Mia bought herself two books.

Kim

By Kim Rossi Stagliano

When I was 21, I had graduated from Boston College with a degree in Economics cum laude. I was bright, funny, hard working. I landed an internship and full time job with Boston's top ad agency at the time, Hill Holliday. I went to work on the Lotus Development account. Anyone old enough to remember Lotus 1-2-3? And Wang word processors (also a HH account)?  Below is a photo of me at a tradeshow - DECWORLD!  

 I lived in Newton Corner Massachusetts and rode the 304 bus to Back Bay every day. That's the bus in the above photo.

Fast forward several lifetimes. My daughter Mia is 22 and her sister Gianna is about to turn 21, just like Mom. Below is the bus Mia takes to her "job", after graduating from her extended special education schooling in our town.  She is bright, funny, hardworking. Autistic.

There she is below with her "boss," me.

Mia attends a special needs day program.  Mia has vaccine induced autism. I'll be her "boss" for the rest of my life.

Neither of us had measles though, so it's all good, right?

Kim Stagliano is Managing Editor of Age of Autism.

Jimmy Kimmel sobbed (again) on his TV program about his newborn son and the heart surgery the baby needed. Who could blame him?   A nurse noticed that the baby's heart had a problem - and medicine saved the child.  There's no pain as sharp as watching your child in danger, with poor health, struggle, maybe even die. Remember when Jimmy Kimmel made fun of parents of vaccine injured children with autism on this same show? Remember when you noticed something very seriously wrong with your child and people like Jimmy Kimmel laughed at you and called you a liar and a silly Mommy?  Remember your children with seizures, self-injurious behavior, children who drown, are beaten by those charged with teaching them, children whose life expectancy is mid-30s  because of their autism?   We do.  This was from HuffPo in March of 2015:

Jimmy Kimmel is giving anti-vaccination advocates a taste of their own medicine.

After airing a segment with doctors hilariously explaining the reasons to get your kids vaccinated, Kimmel got hate messages on Twitter that put “Mean Tweets“ to shame. So, in the interest of fairness, the talk show host sent his “community activists” out to try and prove that vaccinations are bad (because kids prefer lollipops to needles). And the result is even more ridiculous than it sounds.

Pray, Jimmy, that you NEVER NEED US.  But if you do, we'll be here. Because THAT'S the vax injury prevention community.  We may dislike you for your callous treatment of us and our kids, but we'll help.  Despite our own broken hearts for which there is no surgery.

You owe us an apology, Jimble Kimball....  Even Wendy would not be as cruel.

I wrote the post below when Jimmy's daughter Jane was born.  KIM

Dear Jimmy,

The Sound of Vaccine Injury

May I call you Jimmy? I feel like I know you, having invited you into my home so many times. Laughing with you. Crying with you when your Uncle Frank died. Reveling in your numerous guest appearances on The Howard Stern Show. Loving the updates from the fabulous parties you throw for him and Beth. I'm a fan, Jimmy. You make me laugh and Lord knows I need to laugh. So....  about this foray into vaccination politics. Can I just ask, "WTF?"

I know you have a beautiful baby daughter named Jane. (Love the name, so much better than Kumquat or Des Moines.)

I also know you have grown children by a previous marriage.  (We "anti-vaxxers" don't just use the Google to find "myths and debunked lies" about healthcare, you know.)

By Kim Stagliano

Pediatricians have failed their patients with autism at every turn. Here are two pleas for help I saw recently on large, special needs groups.  Expect when your youngster grows into a teen (male especially) that your ped will throw up her hands and ask you to leave because working with him is simply too difficult.  My girls have never had a hearing or vision test at the peds office. "We can't do it, they won't cooperate." 

American Academy of Pediatrics, you stink. 100% stink.  Your members are prima-donna quitters who fire patients at will.  Real doctors treat and heal. Pediatricians today weigh kids, take blood pressure, check a few orifices and then administer vaccines and referrals out to specialists in as short a period of time as possible, stacking patients like aircraft at LaGuardia.  I have a new tagline for you, "AAP: We break them then forsake them." Catchy yes? More than measles....

Thanks to Laura Hayes for the meme idea!

You don't often wash your hands before a visit, you sure are soaping up now on our kids. But guess what? Shakespeare wrote it best and I hope you, Dr. MacBeth are tormented every day with, "Out out damn spot!"  Kim

After a hard visit at the pedi today (just for a well physical visit ) we were told that if my asd son doesn't start to learn how to cooperate and let her examine him , he won't be able to be under her care anymore , so I'm interested to know about developmental pedis and if they are just for development issues or can do all (well, sick, developmental) and any names of some that aren't really associated with GIANT PRESTIGIOUS MEDICAL TRASHCAN (Kim's name for this institution) (as we have never had any good outcomes with them) please feel free to pm me.

And another comment:

I wrote this back in 2011. Not much has changed beyond my girls growing older and my dear Dad passing away in February at 94.  Share your thoughts on April - and what you would like to see that would help not only you, but others outside the community (are there any people left not affected in some way?)

By Kim Stagliano

I'm aware. I get it. I have 3 girls with autism. I am bludgeoned about the head, shoulders and heart every day. Awareness - it's only a word. It's passive. If I am aware that you are hungry and I don't ask if you have any food, then find you food and help you to eat, what the hell good does it do for anyone to say, "Oh, that Mary Pat is STARVING over there on Main Street and I feel uber-special helpful since I know it."

Of course most people aren't so callous about awareness - and there's a ton of great work being done not only this month, but day in and day out. Teachers, therapists, researchers with a death wish (snark alert) parents, friends, family - it's wonderful to see the outpouring of support and thought about autism. However, I'm tired, just came off a week of 3 kids with strep and have a head cold. So I'm feeling very snarky.

A month of "light it up blue?" I guess it's like Coke red. Fine. If you have the budget, you can brand anything you want. Hell, why not come up with a jingle too? Let's see.... Try singing this? "Autism was 1 in 10000 not long ago millions spent on genetics and the numbers oh they just groooooowwwww!" (That sounds best when sung out of tune sort of to the old "A sprinkle a day" Shower to Shower powder jingle, by the way.)

A month of puzzle shaped bright blue cupcake toppers? I saw those online and got so annoyed it was if I'd eaten a vat of blue die. Instant behavior problems. Whoop-dee-gluten-filled doo. Puzzles are a child's toy for God's sake not the mark of a national and growing worldwide epidemic. Let's see, colon cancer. Intestines. Maybe they get a slinky as their "logo." I told you I was snarky.

I'm tired of symbols and awareness and acceptance as "enough" for us all. I want action. I want to protect kids from death by wandering. I want adults n the spectrum to find meaningful work. I want kids with Asperger's not to be bullied into suicide or rage. I want more things than Veruca Salt could ever have demanded on her very best day. And while I know in my head that there's a lot of great progress taking place - it's never fast enough for my heart when I'm in the thick of the chaos.

By Kim Stagliano

Honest to God, what does this man do all day except pretend he's Tweedledee and Tweedledum's other brother: TweedleDOOM. Contrariwise is his mantra.   Paul Offit is now attacking the gluten free diet and healthy, chemical free food choices. Did I mention he's an infectious disease doctor at Children's of Philly? He's devoted much of his life to attacking autism families - most of us here at AofA know that. He does this to protect vaccinations as a whole - and as his livelihood.  Now he's going after food and the "anti-science left" that is fighting for SAFER, chemical free food.  Mon-san-t-OH MY GOD.  (Google Age of Autism Paul Offit for a whole lot of articles on his vaccine patents and shameful attacks on autism families over the last decade+.)

WHAT-ever.....

War On Science: Gluten-Free Madness Needs to End

NOTE: This is just the type of post that would have earned me an email from Dan Olmsted, "Kimbo, you add the right touch at the right time, thank you..." or something kind and reassuring like that.  Goodness I miss him. His memorial is tomorrow in Falls Church, Virginia.

Readers are invited.

By Kim Rossi Stagliano

Happy St. Patrick's Day! 

This is how we Rossis (Staglianos) roll. When I lived with my parents in 2005 - long story, really, you should read about it (insert eye roll) Bella made this fabulous Leprechaun hat with beard. So, we donned it, laughed our McArse's off and took photos. Mom, Dad (2 weeks gone this week at 94, his mother was a Sullivan) the girls and me.

My family was always blessed with laughter - we make jokes, tease each other, find joy in the simplest things and smile even when there's a potato famine and the Guinness has run out. Laughter = love.

NOTE: Thanks for the kind emails. A few of you have asked about Dan's memorial service. Here are the details.  You are cordially invited, Saturday, March 18 at 2:00pm.  Kim

By Kim Stagliano

2017 hasn't been an easy year.  We lost Dan O in January and my Dad passed away 12 days ago at the age of 94. Dan and my Dad were the two men who called me a unique nickname - "Kimbo." Dan didn't know my Dad called me that - he came up with it himself. Not Kimba. Not Kimmy. Not OhMyGoshJustKeepTheSiteRunning. Kimbo.  Even when my Dad could no longer hear well enough to speak to me on the phone, my Mom would say, "Richard, it's Kim on the phone," and he'd yell from across the room, "Hello, Kimbo! How are you!"   I miss Dan every single day.  And now, I'll miss my Dad too. But these are the turns that life takes, and I accept them.

Speaking of acceptance.  I posted an important WhiteHouse.gov petition on our Facebook page last week, and here as well.  Take Action to End the Autism Epidemic and Implement Comprehensive Reforms of Vaccine Safety Policies It calls for an overhaul of vaccine safety and to end the autism epidemic.  Well, this brought out two strident commenters on our page.  Sometimes we ignore these Facebook comments, Adriana, Cathy and I.  We don't moderate FB too much - we haven't had to, most comments are from people like you and me who are just trying to get through the day taking care of their loved ones with autism.  Two autistic commenters came in guns and assumptions blazing.  I chose to respond. 

We're less than a month away from the silly season of celebrating autism. April Fools Day lasts all month long for us.  Autism is no joke.

Melvin wrote: "Yep better call a national emergency to stop people like me being born, thanks for that."

RESCHEDULED TO 4/18 DUE TO... Blizzard!

By Kim Stagliano

Friends, I'm happy to invite you to an unique event on March 14 to support Robert Kennedy Jr's World Mercury Project.  Tony Lyons, Publisher of Skyhorse Publishing, is opening his home in New York city for a meet and greet and special presentation by Robert Kennedy.   We can share a nosh and an Immunitini together!

We need all hands on deck to eliminate mercury from our medicine and elsewhere.  We're so far deep into the vaccine trenches that we can't see the land above us. Most parents outside our realm are clueless - I say that with no rancor.   They have been told, screamed at, preached to, browbeaten with "all vaccines are safe and mercury is gone."  We were once trusting souls too.  We need to educate and inform them and the Kennedy name goes a long, long way.

This event and everything World Mercury Project does moves the ball down the field for vaccine safety awareness - and yes, that is what we need whether we want to support vaccine bans or choice.   This means working collaboratively, and we're happy to support our friends and colleagues at WMP.

I hope to meet some of you there. The donation is $250.  We understand that this is a dear price for many (most) of us.   If you can not attend, you can show your support with a donation of any amount.  Click here. Every penny counts. From this we know, at Age of Autism/AutismAge.   Every donation is important. 

To RSVP please contact Tony's executive assistant Kersten Kim, who will then provide additional information.  [email protected]

By Kim Stagliano

Yesterday, President Trump held a parent teacher listening conference.   The full transcript is HERE.   What caught our ear was the President's  question to a special education teacher.   Say what you will, President Trump has shown more interest in the reality of the autism epidemic than any President before him.  Is it lip service? Time will tell.  Katie Wright Tweeted earlier that her Mom, Suzanne Wright, tried more than a dozen times to get Michelle Obama, the former first lady, to talk about the autism epidemic, to no avail. 



Neurodiversity had a stranglehold on the Obama administration. IACC has been a complete failure. And families are drowning. 

Yesterday, an autism Mom wrote on Facebook that she was leaving her son in a mental health facility because of his raging autism. He could no longer live at home.  She was heart broken. Bereft. THIS is the agony so many of us face. Not whether our kids will work at Apple or Microsoft.

So, have YOU seen an increase in autism?  From the transcript:

1. BAUMANN: Good morning, I’m Julie. I teach special education at a public school in New Jersey.

THE PRESIDENT:  Very good.  Thank you.

1. QUENNVILLE: Hi, I’m Jane Quennville, and I’m a principal of a special-ed center in Virginia serving children ages five through twenty-two with autism and physical and medically fragile conditions.

THE PRESIDENT:  How is that going?

1. QUENNVILLE: Well --

THE PRESIDENT:  Have you seen an increase in the autism with the children?

1. QUENNVILLE: Yes, yes. In fact, our school has shifted its population -- saw more children with autism, definitely.

THE PRESIDENT:  So what’s going on with autism?  When you look at the tremendous increases, really, it’s such an incredible -- it’s like really a horrible thing to watch, the tremendous amount of increase.  Do you have any idea?  And you’re seeing it in the school?

1. QUENNVILLE: Yes, I think -- I mean, I think the statistics, I believe, are 1 in 66, 1 in 68 children are diagnosed with autism.

THE PRESIDENT:  And now it’s going to be even lower --

1. QUENNVILLE: Probably.
   

Kim Stagliano is Managing Editor of Age of Autism.

By Kim Stagliano

I've struggled with how to  honor Dan here at AofA.  One of the main differences between Dan and other journalists is that Dan listened. He listened to mothers telling him that their children changed post vaccination. He didn't run to his desk and write that we were vindictive lunatics looking to blame anything and everything for our kids' autism. HE LISTENED to the mothers (and fathers) and started investigating.

I have this video of my daughter singing the Carpenters' song, "Sing," made famous (at least in our house) by Sesame Street. It has been a theme song here for more than 40 decades. Mia loves it. I loved it as a girl.   During great autism struggles, when I feared for Mia's life during seizures or when she was lost during a vacation, I would think to myself, "If anything happens to her, we will play SING at her funeral." 

Instead, she is singing it here, for me, for you, for Dan Olmsted. My dear friend.  The video is 1:11 long. For those of you who follow me, you know that angel numbers play a big role in my life.  1:11.



Sing, sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

Sing, sing a song
Let the world sing along
Sing of love there could be
Sing for you and for me.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

Dan I worked together, hand in glove. I've said to a number of friends since his death, "It's like we're on a jumbo jet. I'm the co-pilot. I've been flying the plane with the pilot, taking the controls when he needed a break, with a great crew all of whom are able to fly the plane. Except now, I'm the pilot. And it feels differently. Lonely."

But I will sing, in Dan's name.  Of good things. Not bad. Of happy. Even though I am sad.

Love, Kim

By Kim Stagliano

Today really isn't the day to poke this Mama bear. Neither was yesterday.  Tomorrow isn't looking good either. JB Handley and many others posted a piece from HuffPo on their Facebook pages. The post was by HuffPo health contributor Martha Rosenberg. Ms. Rosenberg has written many posts for HuffPo. 

Damn Those Vikings Bear Pipeline Protestors

Why Does This Cruel Animal Practice Persist?

Don’t Believe These Meat Industry Lies—Part Two.

Women Won’t Take Risky Medicines Lament Drug Company-Funded Bone Associations

This post was removed after 24 hours:

Vaccines Are Totally Safe Say the People Who Brought us Vioxx, Bextra, Baycol, Trovan, Phen-Fen, Xarelto, Raxar and Seldane....

But those of us who know that HuffPo is HuffNO when it comes to anything other than a$$kissing vaccines are wily. Well lookey here!!!   Huge thanks to Ginger Taylor and Lisa Stuckey for this link to the Wayback machine for the full post as it stood for a brief moment on the site.   The full body copy follows the screen shots at the end of this post, please scroll down.  Here's the link to the post in Wayback - and some screen shots below as well. 


 

By Kim Stagliano

In 2009, I wrote an article for Huffington Post (back when they would let autism-centric posts run) that asked, "What if the first child has autism?"  My hope was that President Obama would make a difference for us. Here, 8 years later, the Federal government has accomplished precious little in terms of making life better for families facing the unbelieveable challenges of autism. We had a safety and wandering code added to medical codes - a good thing. But overall, we were slammed on vaccine safety, glossed over by the adulation of neurodiversity and our medical rights were diminished in state after state as draconian vaccine laws were passed, the most egregious which was SB277 in California.

Katie Wright Tweeted that her late Mom, Suzanne Wright, asked First Lady Obama more than a dozen times to talk to her about autism. "Sorry disappointed @Flotus. My Mom tried 19x 2 interest her in ANYThing autism. Obesity easier I guess."  (See below)


President Trump is clearly willing to stomp on the third rail topics. His brash, eye popping leadership style (love it or hate it) makes him a wild card. Much of the nation is dead set against him as President. And yet, today, he becomes our President.  Will President Trump help our community? I know there has been speculation about his handsome son and the possibility of some sort of diagnosis. I'm not inclined to guess or armchair diagnose. Not my style. He's a boy. Not a poster boy.  Time will tell. 

Here's the HuffPo piece I wrote.

As a Mom, one of the highlights of the inauguration was watching the first children, Miss Malia and Miss Sasha Obama, revel in their father’s day. They were poised and yet still childlike. Eyes bright. Smiles wide.

Hi readers, followers and friends. We have some exciting behind the screen news coming soon. In

Kim Rossi Stagliano, Executive Director of Autism Age with her three daughters with autism.

2017 we'll be more focused than ever on bringing you the news from deep inside the autism epidemic - the new administration brings many questions and as with any new admin - worries and hope.

We rely on your TAX DEDUCTIBLE donations - large and small alike. Every penny goes to keeping us online. We run lean and mean! (Especially before I've had my coffee...)

We'll have new donation options in 2017 - for now, we invite you to donate $5.00, $10.00, more if you can. www.paypal.me/autismage or send a check payable to Autism Age PO Box 546 Trumbull CT 06611.

Thanks!  Kim, Dan and Mark

For many of us, the holidays are bittersweet. We buy our adult children Sesame Street toys. We worry about how to manage the noise, lights and hubbbub of a large family meal. Is Auntie Bev going to serve GF food? So many hurdles - will any of the 8 nights of candles be peaceful? And so it goes.

Take a moment for yourself - especially you Moms. Go into a room and close the door. Sit. Breathe. Know that you are doing your best even when it feels like you rival Joan Crawford at her worst. Soldier on. You have support and love everywhere within our community and we will always bolster each other. You are us. We are you.

Twas the night before Christmas, to our readers we say

Thank you kindly for logging on every day.

Your comments were written with keen thought and care

In hopes that we'd publish them and not put them "there."

Blaxill and Olmsted with science expose

The strange world of pharma and how it all goes.

And Kim in her office (so close to the stove)

Baked up post after post and some cookies with clove.

The stories keep coming - vaccines that did shatter

We ask every day, "Will our voices soon matter?"

By Kim Stagliano

Got your attention, did I?  Yes, I'm sipping a glass of homemade Italian wine that could strip wallpaper, but I'm as sober as a judge. Mike Judge.  No, really, I am.

Quick Friday post here.  Reality check. Autism stinks. Autism lies. Autism smothers the true person inside. In this case, my gorgeous, bright, happy, chatty, calendar perseverating Gianna. She's 20 and in eval time at school.    Here's the deal.   I have what we call a PPT here in CT this morning. Part of our meeting is to review a psych eval.  Can I tell you something?

PSYCH TESTS BLOW!!!!

Hmmmm, maybe that last gulp of wine was not necessary.

Let me try again.

PSYCH TESTS BUY US SERVICES!

Yup.

From Gianna's psych eval for a meeting today:

Reason for Referral:

Gianna was referred for her triennial evaluation by the Planning and Placement Team to assess her current levels of functioning in order to determine continuing eligibility for special education and related services. Gianna currently receives special education and related services as a student with Autism. Gianna will be turning 21-years-old in the 2017-2018 and will age out of school based services. This evaluation will also aid in developing transition services for Gianna.

Background Information:

Gianna is a twenty-year-old girl currently in the Elite Program, a community based program offered through XYZ Public Schools that offers transitional services, community experiences, and vocational training for students with disabilities aged 18-21.

By Kim Stagliano

Well, we vote tomorrow here in America.  If you don't live in this country, it's hard to explain how exhausted we are by our years' long process of primaries and then the general election. It just goes on forever.   We have to laugh or we'll cry, right? Maybe we'll scream.

Here at AofA, as a non-profit (and in an effort to maintain our sanity) we don't discuss politics as a rule. We certainly don't declare our loathing or loving for any candidate in any office from dog catcher to Commander-in-Chief.  

I've seen friendships destroyed on social media over this election. Civility has been kicked to the curb. Emotions are running high.

One thing we can probably agree upon, however, is that real issues facing Americans have taken a backseat to high drama accusations.  And this serves none of us.  

Autism has been all but ignored.

Perhaps that's a good thing, since we know that just when we think the government's handling of the epidemic could not get any worse, the numbers rise. Families falter.

In 36 hours we'll have a new President-elect.  Please hold good thoughts that the process goes smoothly, safely and that we don't suffer cyber or other attacks.  Get out and vote. However you choose. Don't ignore your right to vote.

If you choose to comment - please don't bother sniping about the candidates. We can turn on the any TV channel for that.

KIM

Kim Stagliano is Managing Editor for Age of Autism.

I had to share this lovely story of a bride who invited her special education students to her wedding. Two of my girls' teachers have gotten married - and both invited the girls to the Church. We went! Each time we sat near the back, once we moved into the  "crying room," which is what we Catholics call the glassed-in room with piped-in sound reserved for families of babies and other screamy types.  We'd never have disrupted a wedding - just being there was lovely!    Special Ed teacher Kinsey French invited her students to be IN her wedding.  There are oodles of photos, click the story to see them.  The joy leaps on the screen.  KIM

From Distractify.com

When planning for her wedding, French invited all six of her students who have Down syndrome, to join in on the festivities and attend the ceremony as ring bearers and flower girls.  Read and see the photos here.

By Kim Stagliano

It was the best of times. It was the weirdest of times. Written with apologies to Mr. Dickens at a time when I feel a great kinship with Madame Defarge, the character from A Tale of Two Cities who knitted names of her  oppressors into her handwork during the French revolution.

ATOTC is my favorite Dickens novel. Who doesn’t swoon a bit when Sydney Carton says, “"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known," as he sacrifices himself for his love, Lucy?

This weekend I was in South Texas - McAllen to be exact -  for the first (and I sure hope the first of many) S. Texas Special Needs Conference. I had the honor of being keynote speaker. The audience was primarily first generation Mexican, McAllen is mere miles from the border.  The Moms are getting younger by the minute or maybe I’m just getting older. I’m pretty sure that’s the case. But no matter where I travel or who I meet, our stories are woven together like Madame Defarge’s knitting. We knit one and pearl two as mothers sharing the intense emotions of having children with special needs, especially autism.  Our language does not matter. All differences fall away like a head from the guillotine. 

Here at AofA we've been taking note of a scary movement in our nation. It seems to me that in a time when the rights of all Americans are at the forefront - one group is being thrown to the wolves.

MY GROUP.

For those us who advocate for the right to say NO to vaccination or to say, "I'll decide when and how much" we are being cast back to some very dark times.

Yesterday, Cathy Jameson wrote about comments from Google that went something like this:

The Unvaccinated should be corralled into their own society. With the hopes that child protective services would soon pay a visit.  And maybe the sheriff, too. To take unvaccinated children away and to arrest The Unvaccinated’s uneducated parents who willingly choose to expose the public to disease. Because it’s unfair for vaccinated people to be subjected to The Unvaccinated, that’s why! 

Wow, take healthy children away from their parents.

Segregation. Corralling. How about just tossing us into railroad cars and calling us the VAX/CSX crowd? 

America is not a nation that takes its freedom lightly.  The current tone and tenor toward vaccination and medical rights is becoming severe and old fashioned. It smacks of Jim Crow laws.

Jim Crow laws were state and local laws enforcing racial segregation in the Southern United States. Enacted after the Reconstruction period, these laws continued in force until 1965.

Sanctioned segregation. 

By Kim Stagliano

During the political season, vaccination mandates and exemption considerations have been part of the conversation.   Candidates are branded "anti-vaccine" for any discussion other than,  "Vax early and often without thought."  Vaccine rights are certainly relevant here at Age of Autism, where so many of us have vaccine injured children, grandchildren, and loved ones. 

With this in mind, I listened carefully to a CNN report yesterday as I was driving home from Massachusetts to Connecticut with my three daughters, after a visit with my parents. Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton was said to have "overheated" at an event commemorating 9/11 in New York City and then "stumbled" when she got into her vehicle. A later reporte amended the story:

Take a look at the video below.




Stumbled? I see a poor woman who has perhaps passed out, appears limp and is dragged into the vehicle - her shoes are toes down on the pavement.  It's a sad moment to watch, for sure. She is a mother. And a grandmother....  Ah yes, a grandmother. This brings us back to vaccination. Clinton tweeted her thoughts on vaccines in a Tweet:

Let's talk about protecting "all our kids." 

By Kim Stagliano

How many of our readers are George Takei fans? I sure am! From his Sulu days when I used to watch Star Trek as a kid, to his unbelievably fun and entertaining appearances on The Howard Stern show over the last several years, I just love him.   He's a smart man.  Learned. Thoughtful. And as a Japanese-American internment camp survivor and a gay man, he is acutely aware of oppression and coercion.   Is he aware of the health oppression known as asthma, diabetes, autism, developmental delays, anxiety, and the host of other pediatric epidemics? He's also one of the most social media savvy celebs - especially for his age - close to 80.

And he lives in California, home of SB277, the law that removed vaccine exemption rights from Californians and has robbed children of their right to attend school.   The measles outbreak in California was the impetus for SB277.   After all, you have to be carefully taught - to hate. Hate disease! Fear disease! Chicken pox and measles were once benign childhood rites of passage in America. No more. Fear sells vaccines. Fear passes laws. Fear allows corporations to control politicians.

WWGS?  What Would George Say?



I read his tweet above with interest. My first thought was how do we tell Mr. Takei about SB277 and the push to take away some of our most basic rights vis a vis vaccination?  How do we tell Mr. Takei that Candidate Clinton is not prone to allow us to retain our healthcare rights - regardless  of what she does within her own family?  She knows best?


How do we educate Mr. Takei on the TSOOO-nami of vaccine injured children across the nation?

The use of fear to justify oppression is never the answer. We'd like all of our kids to live long and prosper. Wait, that's Spock.  And forcing vaccination is illogical.

Kim Stagliano is Managing Editor for Age of Autism.

By Kim Stagliano

I know that the Alice Cooper classic rock song "School's Out" is politically incorrect. I don't much care.  I am the mother of one, two, three daughters with autism. I'm tired. And I'm often cranky.

Not today. I'm so happy I need to pinch myself to make sure I'm really me.

Check this out:  Here's the report I got from my oldest daughter's new adult day program.  My response is in crayon. Try finding a pen around here.


She attends Monday - Friday from 9:00 to 2:30pm at two programs that are part of a large organization in my county.  Four years ago I said out loud, "Mia will NEVER go to a day program at such and such!"   Dopey me.   So, her core program is very autism specific. The staff is well trained. Kind. Young. Energetic. Underpaid. She is also attending a totally cool Art Cooperative program in a funky space that you or I would be happy to call home every day.  This was the note I got after her first day of adding the art program. Pay attention to this line "No drops."  One of Mia's behaviors is to drop to the floor onto her knees like a sack of cement and remain there when she is not happy with what's going on - especially during transition. In fact, another day program in the area - that shall not be named (yet.... ) all but turned Mia down because of this ooooooh so difficult behavior. Is dropping to the floor a disruptive pain in the  you know what behavior?  Yes. Is it the the worst of possible autism behaviors? Heck no.  

ZERO DROPS is huge, giant, life changing. And it tells me that Mia feels good. Safe. Respected. In control. Honestly, I'm giddy.


I think Mia is thrilled to be done with the constant data tracking of ABA based school.  She's sick to death of prompts and charts and rewards. Life is not prompt based. For any of us. Sure we need reminders and incentives. But the overdrive school models are not relevant to the real world. 

Respecting her and meeting her where she is right now is what's making a difference. The team likes Mia. She's a nice young woman who sings off key with joy and who, when she makes eye contact with you, really connects with  your soul.  She shines. And her new program honors her. 

I've told her team that I'm writing about Mia's journey. 

SCHOOL'S OUT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We can do this. Take heart. More soon.

KIM XOXOXOXOX

Kim Stagliano is Managing Editor for Age of Autism.

By Kim Stagliano

Quick update on my oldest daughter's first week in her adult autism day program.  The future I worried about is here. And guess what?  Although it's very early, I'm not as terrified as I thought. Dare I say we have:

Relief!

Success!

Happiness!

Our team has worked really hard to welcome Mia to her new routine.  The program is part of a large organization here in Fairfield County, CT.  They offer over 40 "day programs," and Mia will be in two. One is arts based the other, her core program, is called "INSPIRE."  Mia calls it, "InSPIDER." We love that.

We've had excellent communication. Texts. Emails. Notes.

The transportation office has be patient with me.

And Mia seems to be happy.  Today, she is delivering Meals on Wheels in the area. I love that.

More soon!

By Kim Stagliano

From time to time when I'm not too grumpy or tired or busy with mastering adult skills, I'll be writing about autism and aging out. My oldest finished school earlier this month. Forever. She turns 22 in December.
1) By high school, ditch the data clicker. I mean it. Reams of graphs and charts detailing how many times your child tore a piece of paper (Ugh! Destruction!) or slapped her hand on the desk (Ugh! Aggression!) will not help the next group of providers. At all.

2) Ask the paras to step back. Literally. Let your child learn how to walk on his or her own in the hallways without a para at his or her arm. Eyes on arms length should be ample. We changed classes 3 minutes before the bell when one of my kids was having issues with pinching other kids in the halls. Many adult programs have a 5 - 1 or  3 - 1 ratio. Your child will have to learn to be somewhat independent. Scary, yes?

3) Ease way off the prompts the way you ease off the gas on a curvy exit ramp. A prompt dependent adult will have a hard time keeping up in a program that is not prompt based. No programs are prompt based at this time.  Well, very few. 

4) Programs that claim to be for special needs "including autism" likely are not. At. All. Just like we have schools devoted entirely to autism, we are going to need adult programs for job training, mentoring, dayhab, EVERYthing tailored to autism.

A local program that I will call Durmstrang Special Needs Program was stymied by my daughter's minor behaviors.  I mean what on earth would they do with a young woman who sits DOWN on the floor and will not get UP when told under stress?" Imaging the horror!  How could they possibly manage having to come up with coping strategies and a behavior plan to assist her in this huge transition. How about doing your job as a special needs center that claims to include autism with the $49,000 the State of Connecticut was ready to spend with you? 

I know for a fact they have already tossed one young man with autism for his behavior.   "I see no indication that Mia can work within a group," said the director to my team. Ouch.  It's true, Mia had a behavior this year. The Sit In. 

Programs want the shiny, happy disabled!  (You know I mean no disrespect to my friends who have kids with other serious diagnoses so don't snark on me.)  The "Mayor" (this is how one young man was described to me at the Durmstrang Special Needs Program) who can speak and smiles at you and maybe stands a bit too close but is a social delight. Heck, I loved the guy when I met him.  I only wish Mia had his social ability. Alas, autism is not the Mayor. Autism might not look at you at all, let alone smile. But autism hears you, sees your judgemental looks. Autism, like KMart, sucks to many programs.

Oh yeah, even among misfits we're misfits! Cue the elf song and let's build some toys.

Check out every program in  your area where you think your child might be headed by the time your your child is in 10th grade. And then spend the next years working with your school team to prepare your child.

More later. Mia starts her program Friday or early next week. I'll keep you posted.

Pass the Skittletini.... make it a double. Wait, make that a triple. Gianna and Bella are next.

NOTE: I encourage you to read this book by my friend Susan Senator - from Skyhorse Publishing - for ideas on how other families are tackling adulthood for kids at all ranges of the spectrum and with stories from adults who themselves are on the spectrum. Autism Adulthood by Susan Senator

Kim Stagliano is a never-you-mind year old woman with three children on the autism spectrum. She is high functioning in many areas, although many routine tasks of daily living continue to elude her including: privacy within her own home, lack of constant worrying, cash flow competency and the ability to plan her future. She continues to qualify for services. Kim Stagliano is also Managing Editor for Age of Autism.

Thanks to Kevin Barry and JB Handley for this info on FB. The title alone piqued my interest - I had once written a Huffpo titled "Dr. Paul Offit, Pope of the Church of the Immaculate Vaccination."  Vaccines have had a mythical, pseudo-religious status since their very earliest days it seems.  "The Temple of Vaccinia" is rather regal sounding, don't you think? .  In reality, they are a century plus long Tuskegee experiment.

Before Caitlin, before Bruce, there was another famous Jenner.  Edward.  Dr. Edward Jenner (see below.)

Vaccines have been an experiment since the first patient, James Phipps, patient of Edward Jenner.  To be sure most of early medicine has been trial and error - long before there were any approval/safety processes in place. I happen to know that early cryo-freezing of the cornea for cataract surgery in the 1960s was conducted in Connecticut without safety approval or knowledge beyond the surgeon and the technicians who invented the technology.  A nurse was outraged, and yet the surgery continued.  The result was a highly successful company and a huge improvement in cataract surgery. America was built on risk taking.   But should that theory apply to our kids health in 2016? Today's pediatric vaccine schedule remains a mass experiment.  Ask your doctor to show you the safety data from the government or vaccine manufacturers on the cumulative safety of the pediatric schedule.  Bring a pillow, a blanket and a Kindle loaded with books. It will be a long time before you get an answer.   KIM