You Can Call Me Mom But I Don't Always Recommend It
By Kim Rossi
Have you run into this over your career as a parent of a child with special needs? You're attending a team meeting. It could be an IEP meeting for your 1st grader or an IP meeting for your 30 year old, as was my case yesterday. Everyone begins their portion of the meeting. "Hi, I'm Janey McBehaviorPlan and I am the BCBA." "Hi, I'm Mr. Smithers, I teach regular ed basket weaving." And on each person goes. Then? They get to you and say:
"And this is MOM."
No. I am KIM, an expert in a 1000 topics, including my three daughters. PLEASE stop calling us, "Mom" or "Dad" during these meetings. It inadvertently diminishes us. Unintended, I'm sure, still. I have a name.
Here's an OLD comedy routine "You can call me Ray," that became a catch phrase back when TVs weighed 100 pounds and telephones were attached to the wall. Enjoy.
Yes, it would be more respectful to use a parent's full name when introducing he or she because we are not the teacher's Mom or Dad. Then to say something like, "She is an expert on Timothy and she is Timothy's mother."
Posted by: lorim | December 27, 2024 at 08:17 PM
Do they just assume the female person with the child/adult is the "mom"?
What if the person is a relative or foster parent? What do they call them?
Make a button pin that says "my pronouns are "Ms. Kim Rossi"
Posted by: Emmaphiladelphia | December 18, 2024 at 01:41 PM
I can well understand your frustration Kim at being called MOM, instead of using your first name, making you feel like they are diminishing you as a person. I am sure you know more than these experts do about raising a child with autism to adulthood as we parents know after so many years of experience living with it. I always hate these ISP meetings here in New York and just want to get through them until the next one. We have to be brave in advocating for the necessary services and supports our adult sons and daughters need. We should receive the recognition as the knowledgeable parents that we are.
Posted by: Gayle | December 18, 2024 at 08:40 AM
I am sorry Kim.
I do know what you mean, and I am sorry that after all these years you had to endure it once again.
I can't put my finger on why it matters, but there is something under the surface that is so irritating
Posted by: Benedetta | December 18, 2024 at 01:40 AM
Making it easier on themselves by not seeing a real person but a Mom or Dad label.We dont ask for much do we just a bit of recognition would go a long way.
Pharma For Prison
MMR RIP
Posted by: Angus Files | December 17, 2024 at 01:21 PM