Based on the date of the post, early September 2010, I can imagine where I was when I heard the song – I likely had all five kids with me in the minivan, and we were driving back from Ronan’s school where he made the most progress with a team that had only his very best interest at heart.  Ronan’s siblings were such troopers for how much time they spent in doctor’s offices, sitting in therapy waiting rooms, and exploring the city while Ronan went to his private school that was over an hour away from our home. 

That was 14 years ago.  Some things have stayed the same like the siblings remaining as faithful as ever to their brother.  Some things have changed since then, though.  We’re back to square one with a medical issue that we and doctors haven’t figured out yet.  

It's torture waiting for information, for red tape to be cut so that testing can be done, for time to speed up, and to finally get an answer to a concerning problem.  I was hoping for a happy memory another morning when I opened my FB memories but felt a punch to the gut when I saw that I’d mentioned something odd that had happened to Ronan.  We knew he’d been dealing with this current problem for around 2 years now, but that other  FB memory from 2016 has me thinking might’ve been the first sign of the current problem.  That means he’s been dealing with it a lot longer than we thought.  I’m positive I would’ve shared this information with the doctors we were seeing at that time.  I’m positive I would’ve asked for help.  I’m also positive I would’ve been worried about it then as I am now.  The unknown isn’t easy to deal with, especially when it negatively impacts your child. 

Right after I saw that memory post, I logged out of FB, turned on some praise and worship music and sat quietly.  Easily I could have gone down the rabbit hole of worry, but that day I didn’t allow myself to run ahead of my thoughts.  It did me no good to do that one night last week.  So, I decided not to do it again on Friday morning.  For the next 45 minutes that morning, I listened to God’s word and stayed positive.  When I’ve done that before, I find that a friend will sometimes randomly reach out to me soon after.  Those friends and family who have remained faithful to us and to all the things we’ve had to juggle have been the biggest blessing on this journey.  The timing of their check ins, the random running into each other in town—like happened later on Friday morning, their unexpected texts of hey, Cat…we’re praying for Ronan today…each is so comforting.  I remember most of my FB memories and revel in the happy emotions many of them bring me. 

Even though I don’t remember that first On This Day message above, nor the song I have now replayed all this week, I find comfort in recalling each friend, then and now, who have stayed with us through thick and thin. 

Here’s that song.  Give it a listen, and let me know if it resonates with you as well I love the title, and I love the message.  Ronan still can’t talk, but we respond to his every need as quickly and lovingly as possible.  Those close to us, and many of you here, do that as well…and I’m forever grateful for that.  . 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8-5bvAFCzQ

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism. 

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