“It would be next year.  Think about when Charlie would be graduating…whatever year he is in school is when Ronan would also be in school,” I told her.

A friend’s typical son, I had always hoped that Ronan would one day be mainstreamed with typical peers like Charlie.  He’s a great kid doing really great things.  I don’t see him much anymore because he’s off to school in another state, but when I get updates from his parents, I can’t help but smile.  Ronan won’t experience any of what Charlie will, but I don’t begrudge him or any other kids who find success in school. 

School isn’t for everyone.  It can be an enormous struggle.  Without proper supports, simple tasks can become frustrating.  Throw in a novel virus and a world-wide lockdown, and it’s no surprise that education took a major hit for many kids. 

Post-covid, Ronan’s younger brother became less than enthusiastic about school.  While the staff did everything possible to keep things as close to normal as they could at the high school, going to school became a chore.  Motivation tanked, grades tanked, and the future prospects of going off to higher education looked bleak.  I’ll be forever grateful that as the world re-opened, so did the idea of going to college return to Willem’s mind.  Sure, he could go straight to work, but his craft requires some formal education.  After touring a campus last fall, he wanted, like really, really wanted, to work toward a degree.  Seeing Willem buckle down with his studies gave him hope.  It gave me hope!  Walking the stage and graduating from high school this past week kicked his spirits up a notch again.  HE DID IT!  He did it with all of us loudly cheering for him.  Well, almost all of us. 

Ronan accompanied us to big sister’s graduation ceremony, but he stayed home for his brother’s.  We’ve one more graduation to get to—Ronan’s younger sister’s big day is also coming up.  He usually has the luxury of staying home for big, formal ceremonies.  It’s a lot of work for him to be there, to sit there quietly, to follow directions he’s not usually asked to follow, and to be in a setting he doesn’t want to be in.  We pack accordingly for times like that – his favorite book, his favorite picture, and his favorite scarf (a prayer shawl) sometimes, too.  But formal ceremonies become uncomfortable, long, and are just not on Ronan’s list of favorite things to do.  He’ll protest a bit, like he did at Fiona’s college graduation last weekend, which means one of us, usually my husband, will have to leave the event.  Thankfully, when Ronan couldn’t sit under the tent waiting for the 500+ students to walk the stage, they could watch the livestream video in the comfort of one of the dining halls.  It wasn’t ideal for my husband, but that sacrifice wasn’t a complete loss.  I’ll pray that the next graduation ceremony is one that Ronan can handle.  It’ll be shorter, closer to home and will begin in a familiar setting.  And as of right now, Ronan will be joining us when his little sister graduates from middle school.  

Three graduations within three weeks of each other are cause for huge celebrations for our family.  While Ronan may not want to partake in any of them, I know he understands why we’ve been a bit excited lately.  His siblings have accomplished quite a bit.  They’ve worked hard and stayed strong.  They made goals and crushed those goals.  They’ve done that while also pitching in to help me help Ronan.  With all the extra planning and recent traveling we’ve done, it’s been a tiny bit exhausting for us.  It’s also been very, very exciting.  To my three who are graduating this year, I proudly say Hip! Hip! Hooray!

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.

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