By Cathy Jameson

I ordered pizza on Friday evening.  Then I sat back and listened.  Ronan’s younger brother is home from college for a few days.  The house comes alive again when the siblings are together.  We don’t have everyone home, but when at least 3 of typical sibs are together, the activity level in the house – and the volume – increases quite a bit.

Right now, two are strumming on their guitars. 

Another is joining in singing the lyrics. 

They’re enjoying favorite songs from their childhood.

My heart is so happy!

Where’s Ronan in all of this?  He’s in his room.  He was happy earlier when he had a few quiet minutes with his favorite brother before the girls came home from an outing.  After his dinner, Ronan returned to his music in a quieter corner of the house.  We may end up hearing him raise the volume of his favorite song tonight, something that makes me laugh. 

He and I have competed to hear our songs before.  My favorite is when he plays one that he’s heard us play – like this one from Muse.  Our new caregiver shared that Ronan likes her Christian music, too.  As soon as one of her go-to songs ends, he signs for her to play it again.  She’s happy to oblige.  I can’t tell you how comforting it is to have someone step into our home and keep Ronan feeling settled while the rest of us are out doing our own things.  I’ve worried before about other people who’ve promised to keep Ronan safe and haven’t.  The kids have their obligations and can’t be home to help, which has me seeking help elsewhere.  Lately, we’ve been blessed with attentive helpers who are in tune with Ronan’s needs. 

If anyone is in tune with Ronan, it’s his typical little brother.  It doesn’t matter how much time has lapsed since they were together last.  The sibling shenanigans will surely be in full swing soon.  In between, we’ll witness some incredible moments of brotherly love.  Days before Willem was due home, he said he’d help watch Ronan so I could get some stuff done.  Like his sisters do, he jumps right in ready to offer a hand, even before I think to ask. 

When the kids come home, I’m very mindful that they’re here on a break.  They’re here to rest, to relax, and to catch up not just with us but with friends as well.  So, before I ask them to assist with their brother, I see if they’ve already made plans for the time that they’re here.  It hasn’t happened, but I never want them to resent having to take care of their brother.  So, I stay mindful, respectful, and always hopeful that they will remain willing to stay home when I have to jet out.

As Friday night wound down, Ronan got quieter.  He was ready for bed long before any of the rest of us were.  After getting him tucked into bed, the kids stayed up about an hour later, catching up on the last few weeks since they were altogether.  They shared photos, videos, stories and also made plans for the week ahead – it was a very happy homecoming.

Someday they’ll go off in different directions, but for now, I love that they happily find themselves here with us. 

When we are together, we are home. 

Home. 

It’s my favorite place to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoRkntoHkIE

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.