Unsettling
By Kim Rossi
Yesterday, Isabella and I were in the Stop & Shop replenishing the pantry after the holiday weekend. The trips are painful enough given the ever growing bottom line on ever shorter receipts. Miss B is able to say a few words including "Hello" and "Mama." I've quipped, she has the two best words ever. But it's not really funny.
Bella vocalizes "HELLO" as we go about the store. Sometimes she startles people. I understand that. They turn and look at us. I nod and we move along. Often, people say "Hello" right back. I always thank them. Yesterday, I heard a man at the deli counter holler "HELLO!" and then laugh out loud from across the produce department.
Oh dear.
Fellow parents, you know that feeling when your autism radar goes WHOOP WHOOP in a state of high alert? I knew in an instant that he was making fun of Isabella.
Oh dear, dear.
I can count on one hand the times I have confronted someone who disrespects my daughters. Once, 15 years ago at the world famous Frank Pepe pizza, a young couple with a baby in a carrier kept staring at us while we ate. Staring. And glaring without a hint of a smile. As we left, I walked past their table and said, "My three daughters have autism and are doing the best they can. The rate is 1 in (whatever it was back then) and you had better pray to God and Baby Jesus that your beautiful baby isn't one of them." The young Dad JUMPED up out of his seat, pushing it back, as if he was going to fight me. We left.
Back to yesterday. I paused, then walked with Bella over to the man and said, "I heard you yell, "Hello." Are you making fun of my daughter? She has autism and this is all she can say." He startled. "I know that. I know. I wasn't making fun of her. SETTLE DOWN." Ha! He told me, Kim Rossi, to settle down! Between us, I could have knocked him into the next county. Literally. I am a martial arts instructor and teach 5 days a week. My training gives me the discipline to NOT throttle him. He was short, in his late 60s with shoe polish black dyed hair.
I did not knock him into the next county. I do not look good in an orange jumpsuit.
I simply said, "Think before you make fun of someone," and walked away. Then I talked to the manager, to let him know about the incident. His deli staff had laughed too. Probably a nervous laughter, not anything about my daughter. The manager was terrific, he apologized.
Each day, I defend my daughters in everything I do. Every decision I make is for their benefit. For their dignity. For their safety. For their future. Even the toughest decisions. Ask Kim Stagliano about that. It's what I do for them. Our home is the equivalent of a three shift, three person group home. I calculated that if I were paid the salary of every person that would be required to run this home, I would make over $325,000 a year. I don't make a tenth of that, I assure you.
Settle down.
That son of a nutcracker told Kim Rossi to settle down. And he lived to tell the tale. So did I.
###
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Artie Shaw & Helen Forrest - Deep Purple
One of my mother's and my beloved songs.
Artie Shaw & Helen Forrest - Deep Purple
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwtFcr7E0O8
Posted by: Visitor IH | June 18, 2023 at 06:18 PM
"Each day, I defend my daughters in everything I do. Every decision I make is for their benefit. For their dignity. For their safety. For their future. Even the toughest decisions. Ask Kim Stagliano about that. "
Kim, thanks for sharing your example with such eloquence and giving us a glimpse of your reality. You are a warrior...not by choice....endlessly exhausting and terrifying. I am committed to defending my daughter too. Thanks for being a role model and inspiration.
Posted by: s isaacs | June 05, 2023 at 06:14 AM
Link to WHAT IS A WOMAN? :
https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/elon-musk-promotes-matt-walshs-what-is-a-woman-documentary-after-twitter-initially-censored-it/
Posted by: Emmaphiladelphia | June 04, 2023 at 02:33 PM
@False Scientists
I agree. Parents have the power to put a stop to this. I watched WHAT IS A WOMAN last night on Twitter. Musk made it available for free for a limited time- after he ousted the employees trying to censor it. It is an EXCELLENT documentary. Must see!
Posted by: Emmaphiladelphia | June 04, 2023 at 01:07 PM
Emmaphiladelphia and Benedetta, since gender ambiguity (now they are consistently using the term dysphoria) is higher in the autism population, I believe you are correct in worrying that young women on the spectrum are being encouraged to opt for irreversible hormonal treatment—puberty blockers (which cause osteoporosis) binding, surgery, additive hormone treatment. And now we are seeing so many young people de-transition. One poor 15 year old girl asked naively if she could have her breasts re-attached.
As a professional who has worked with children for many years, this is clear abuse. No child is born in the wrong body. The protests are growing louder, thankfully. Parents are speaking out more and even those within the gay community are finally disavowing these radical ideas. Watch What is a Woman if you can. Gays Against Groomers is strongly advocating for children to be protected from sexualization, bodily and emotional abuse. Adolescence can be tough; this is not the answer. My God, the brain isn’t fully developed until early to mid 20’s.
Kim, good for you to stand up to the bullies—I’m sure your kids appreciate it and educating people is important.
Posted by: False Scientists | June 03, 2023 at 12:02 AM
@Bill
If you are patient, your ship will come in:
"A Howard University law professor petitioned a United Nations (U.N.) tribunal to pay every black American $5 million in reparations — a proposal that would not need taxpayer approval."
https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2023/06/01/united-nations-u-n-tribunal-hears-petition-reparations/
How would you spend it?
Posted by: Emmaphiladelphia | June 02, 2023 at 09:57 PM
And Bill knows history just like he was there or something.
Aztecs, poor bloody culture that had brutalized all the surrounding "other" people.
And he knows about autism being over diagnosed, not real. what a smart dude.
Posted by: Benedetta | June 02, 2023 at 08:52 PM
You all see what Bill wrote to me.
Hmmmm, He says he has autism.
Posted by: Benedetta | June 02, 2023 at 08:48 PM
Benedetta,
at least autism is not over diagnosed in China and Russia because those countries psychiatrist are smart and know what a real Developmental Disabilities and Mental Illnesses are. Psychiatrist are bankrupting the Anglo countries from this over diagnosis of Autism, ADHD and schizophrenia through liberal disability pension policies and special education spending among others waste and abuse of taxpayer funds.
Schizophrenia is over-diagnosed in (mostly) white homeless drug addicts, ADHD is over diagnosed in (mostly) little white boys with their lame toilet humor.
If you want to ramble about "globalism" then thank your British and Spanish colonial ancestors for starting this "globalism" including reducing the native population by 80-90% of the Aztec, Inka or whatever tribe.
Posted by: Bill | June 02, 2023 at 05:57 PM
Bill;
I have some things that I wish you would consider.
You keep going for white privilege .
So, it sounds like you surrounded by the ideas of "Woke"
It is always good to listen to all sides before forming an opinion.
So just consider this.
I watched this Dr. Lindsay video yesterday about we need to be able to name the enemy.
He said that Mao's communism was different from Russia's communism. Russia was out to make every one the same economically.
Mao was out to make every one equal culturally; shaved the heads of both men and women and sent them both into battle ,believe all the same religiously
and so forth.
That is what all the WOKE stuff is about right now. It is different species belonging to the family of Maxist. Trans, white privilege, western nations guilt about colonialism . Circumvent history and thus bind young minds up.
On top of all of that there was Del Bigtree's discussion yesterday about the history of the Club of Rome and how it wishes to reduce the population by force, being unaware it is being done to you, and without permission.
So we have to entities working together would be my guess. Both China working with the World Economic Forum (started from the Club of Rome elites)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6rk1mYiOAw
Posted by: Benedetta | June 02, 2023 at 10:44 AM
The Lancet "One Health " a Call for Ecological Equity.
Published -January 21 2023
The Daily Sceptic https//dailysceptic.org
Lancet Pushes Dangerous Theory That People are Worth No More Than Rats
By Dr David Bell 17 March 2023
Lennox Castle Hospital For "The Mentally Handicapped" as it was called mid 1980's
Had a big walk in clothing store room on each ward patients had their own shoes , allother clothing was shared "Equity" clothing including underwear .
Some staff were hard as nails and rough and tough as get out .
The Taught one lovely wee man to sing a couple of songs for their own entertainment and amusement , Pigging -well pathetic !
Nobody's Child The Traveling Willbury's YouTube
The Dead South -You are my sunshine [Official Music Video] YouTube
Solution ? Take a Peerie Peek at ,
https//trainingtocare.com
Virtual Dementia Tour for staff training also traing bus for people living with autism .
Great for schools as well .
WHO and United Nations official policy guidelines now want sex education for babies and toddlers how to explore their own private parts ?
Agenda 2030 - The High Level Experts can go and do a public platform demonstration , duffle coats at davos can start first ?
Either tat or they can go far-cough with it ?
That's their choices, that's their options , so they can take it or leave it !
Posted by: High Tea at Auntie Morag's | June 02, 2023 at 03:17 AM
Thanks for sharing this story. Fortunately most people in the world are kinder than that. At least that has been my experience so far.
Posted by: 4Bobby | June 01, 2023 at 12:54 AM
Hi, Laura. He was a shopper, not a deli counter worker. He was standing at the deli counter at the time. After I chatted with the manager, I did not see him again. Probably just as well. I turned the other cheek so to speak, once. Not sure if I'd passed him in the cereal aisle if I'd have been as restrained! KIM
Posted by: Kim for Laura | May 31, 2023 at 02:47 PM
Our kids are being targeted. Especially those with autism:
https://twitter.com/ForgiatoBlow47/status/1661861660351516674
Are Girls with Autism Being Fast-Tracked Into Transgenderism?
https://www.westernjournal.com/girls-autism-fast-tracked-transgenderism/
Posted by: Emmaphiladelphia | May 31, 2023 at 02:28 PM
Act now think later we dont have much choice its what happens .My wife is more on a trigger hair than me all 5ft 10 of her and 8stone but she gets her point over quite a few times in fact size gender does not matter if the right buttons are pressed thats it!.
Well done Kim
Pharma For Prison
MMR RIP
Posted by: Angus Files | May 31, 2023 at 02:21 PM
Kim,
Thank you for sharing this story with us.
Wise of you to rebuke, wiser yet to not retaliate, and to instead report to his superior.
One possible future step would be to return, with some act of kindness, be it Bella saying hello to him, or giving him a drawing or something she made.
My guess is that he himself has been bullied and mistreated to choose to act so pathetically and pitifully. Not an excuse, at all, but a distinct possibility. Maybe he would accept the opportunity to redeem himself, and one day be the one to welcome and defend Bella when she is at that store.
You continue to inspire with your dogged determination and perseverance. Onward!
Posted by: Laura Hayes | May 31, 2023 at 01:42 PM
Oh and Bill!
White woman Kim; some years ago had to deal with a real, hands on, physical abuser on the bus.
A bus monitor pinched, slap, punched, hit and hurt one of her daughters.
Non verbal, except to cry hysterically l every morning waiting on the bus. Come to school weepting and hurt.
Yeah Kim with three that depends on her for life, breath, constant care, and everything - should take her karate skills to some group home. Please Bill I know you grieve for your condition, that is what they mean by not making you bitter.
Posted by: Benedetta | May 31, 2023 at 01:26 PM
My son loves going to the store with me and says hi to everyone but the response I get is different than yours Kim because he is 6ft 330 pounds and could take down a pro football player if he was angry, which fortunatly rarely happens because he loves church and Jesus. I wish he could accompany your girls on their trips to the store because noone would laugh at them. These people that laugh are ignorant cowards so do not let them get to you.
Posted by: richard farretta | May 31, 2023 at 01:02 PM
Bill:
Prejudice is prejudice, and looks ugly no matter who wears it. You have a beautiful soul Bill, but it is sick right now from your problems. Your pain is making you lash out at others that are in deep pain too. You must come to understand that and be a better person because the world needs better people right now.
Let me explain grief.
A parent will have on going grief for her child - let alone three, and she is going to have this forever. Grief and sadness is closely related to anger, frustration and aggravation.
As in I was rude to hospice two weeks ago when my Mother had a major bleed in the back of her brain and I had to deal with taking her off the ventilator. I did not want to hear from them the many ways that it could go down. I had already heard the hours - and hours long death scenarios a hospice doctor felt compelled to tell me how it could go down for my father that lived 14 months after entering hospice. So when they started that I said enough and not very nicely.
As in when the doctor told me over the phone in the ICU that it was a major bleed in the back of her head and there was nothing they could do. They only had her in the hospital for three whole days saying it was a bladder infection, only to tell me on day four it was not, so now the doctor thought it was pneumonia instead.
And since we are dealing with brain injuries here. Since my daughter had Kawaski's as a baby and that is every blood vessel including the brain is inflamed - my mother stopped being able to move around on her on after a bad night when she called me to her bedside telling me she had the most horrible night mare.
From there it -- well anyway a person can complain of their stomach, throw up violently, be nausea all the time and it does not involve their stomach at all.
Bill we all bleed red, we all leak salty tears, we all lose in life. It does nothing to your pretty little soul to harbor anger against those that just exist in this same sad world as yourself as you dream up they have such a much more wonderful life than you.
Kim: anger and grief keep that one in mind. I am so sorry. .
Posted by: Benedetta | May 31, 2023 at 12:25 PM
@Kim
Sometimes a mamma bear has to be a mamma bear.
That deli worker's public shaming came back to bite. Hopefully he will have a little more compassion next time around.
Posted by: Emmaphiladelphia | May 31, 2023 at 11:09 AM
Dear Mauine, I think it's wonderful that a stranger went to the police to report what looked to her to be an endangered child. (And of course I realize that you deserve an apololgy.)
But today, 17 years later, guess what. Three cop cars would NOT roll up to help the child. Not even one cop car. Not even a phone call to inquire about the boy.
I am in the thick of this problem in Australia. Here is a pdf of my book Reunion: Judging the Family Court. I'd be happy to supply more info to anyone interested. [email protected]
https://gumshoenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/REUNION_2019.pdf
Posted by: mary maxwell | May 31, 2023 at 10:50 AM
Hello Kim. Hello Bella. A good morning to you all...
Posted by: Tim Bolen | May 31, 2023 at 10:23 AM
Bill, autism or not, you are rude to the point of my wanting to just ban you. Is there another site online where you can interact and be a member of the community - despite your consistently off topic and mean spirited comments? I do wonder. KIM
Posted by: Kim for Bill | May 31, 2023 at 10:04 AM
Kim-Good for you! I have had many of these experiences with my now adult son with autism over the years. Once we were on vacation in Lake George on a boat ride when he was very young. The boat has a very loud horn sound just before it takes off and my son reacted by screaming until we finally got him to calm down. A man sitting in front of us said can you keep that kid quiet now? I was livid with anger and told him that my son had autism and that he should learn to be more tolerant of others, especially children with autism. I really was glad that I told him off in front of everyone around us and all the people clapped for me! I will never forget it.
Posted by: Gayle | May 31, 2023 at 09:45 AM
The man jumping up like to fight? The couple did not smile.
Perhaps he and his wife already suspected something about their baby. Hard to know the reasoning of people.
Sounds like you hit a nerve.
As far as a man yelling back hello really loud, he was making fun. But one word? Pick your battles Kim and save your energy. Cause you are going to need it. I think I have run out of it all, and on empty myself. And yet, there is more I need to do, so much more.
Posted by: Benedetta | May 31, 2023 at 09:14 AM
Big deal, I am person with autism have been a victim of bullying also because of my disfigured face. Very few people if any talk about something much worse than bullying happened to people with developmental disability in Japan and the US in 2016 because the ZOG and Weaboo to unrelated groups do not want that tragedy widely publicized. I guess white female privilege means you can violently overreact to minor bullying of your child whether they are disabled or not but fail to provide adequate security at a group home or similar place.
Posted by: Bill | May 31, 2023 at 08:43 AM
Good for you. I would have done the same. We all have stories to tell. Years ago when Josh was about 8 he had a dentist appointment and was given something to calm him down to fill a cavity. It made him very sleepy after. I stopped at the store on the way home and locked the car doors and ran into the store to get some ice pops for him. When I returned to the car I couldn't see him in the car and of course became hysterical. Then I saw he had climbed from the back seat into the trunk. So I opened the truck and noticed a woman in the parking lot watching me. So I told her he has autism and climbed in there himself. Apparently she didn't believe me and by the time I got home there were 3 police cars there. They were rude as hell and accused me of putting him there. I don't look good in an orange suit either and was able after some time to give them an explanation that they finally accepted.
Maurine
Posted by: mauine Meleck | May 31, 2023 at 08:09 AM