Before getting him safely to the couch, I kept my voice calm and guided Ronan.  He has such trust in me, I reflected after blurting out more prayers.  My prayers felt jumbled and all over the place, but I kept saying them.  Asking intercessory prayers from every Saint I could think of, St. Ronan, St. Thomas, St. Catherine, St. Rose, St. Peter…all the saints in Heaven, pray for Ronan, PLEASE, I begged.  

Prayers are often on repeat, especially when I feel helpless.  Prayers are on repeat when really scary mornings turn into normal afternoon, too. 

After Ronan slept, he had a typical afternoon.  Perplexed still hours later, but also now incredibly grateful, I praised God for the blessing that the rest of the day brought to my son.  He’s not experienced that kind of event since, but should he encounter other troubling problems, I hope and pray that I can be right there.  I hope he’ll continue to reach out for me, and I pray that he’ll bounce back like he was able to last time. 

I cry when I think about that first prayer I uttered.  It’s a frightening though to see your child begin to slip into a different state; I’ll not wish for it again but will hope that he can always pull out of the darkness.  Of all days to be thankful for that, today’s a perfect day to be thankful for being able to see the light again.

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism. 

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