Sticks and Stones
Interview with an Undertaker

A Hire Power

Hire helpedBy Cathy Jameson

I recently shared that our main caregiver is starting a new job.  Like other caregivers who’ve joined Team Ronan, they are actually on a bigger team…Team Jameson. The longer they are here, they become family.  That’s because this person, who has willingly stepped into our home, ends up helping all of us.  I don’t mean doing chores or assisting each of us individually.  I mean that they naturally fit right in.  As each year goes by, the more they get to know us.  The more we get to know them, the deeper the friendship has become.  When something else comes along in their life, like a new job, the loss we feel when it’s time for them to go is great. 

We hate it when the good ones leave, but we always wish them the very best. 

While searching for a new provider these last few weeks, I’ve run into several brick walls.  This week, I looked beyond our community but still came up short.  Many people have offered great suggestions, which I’ve taken into consideration, but I’m still without a reliable replacement.

Without the loving extra pair of hands we’ve grown to love here, life’s been a little bit…scratch that…life’s been a lot out of sorts.  I wasn’t working outside of the home last time we looked for a new caregiver.  This time, I’m juggling different demands and a different schedule, including trying to keep my own part-time hours. 

I love a challenge, but this is proving to be more than a challenge. 

While looking for community college job boards and investigating day programs this week, I thought back to the last time we lost a caregiver to see how we handled it.  Originally written in 2015, we posted the story here 3 years ago.  I’ll use some of the same tips I shared, including asking even more people if anyone knows someone who’s looking for a job.  God knows who we need to join Team Ronan, so we’ll pray that our paths will meet soon.  We’ll also hope that, in time, they’ll become an active member of Team Jameson, too.  

Besides losing our latest caregiver, I’m keeping in mind that my in-house helpers are growing.  At some point, the siblings may not be as close to home to help as they are now.  It would be amazing if we were blessed with another qualified and loving caregiver before the sibs are off on their own.  While I continue to pray for things to work out, just like I asked the last time we posted this piece, feel free to share your best suggestions in the comments.  Where did you find help for your son or daughter?  For those with young 20somethings like Ronan, what kinds of day programs have you found in your community?  A better question – are you happy with the programs and what they offer?  I’m most curious about those because I’ve never had them on my radar but do now. 

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.


In Search Of

Today’s post is from a journal entry that I wrote shared elsewhere several years ago…

Knowing that a new hire comes with a good referral eases my mind.  That referral usually comes after I've asked friends, therapists, neighbors, coaches and my people in my church community if they know someone who's looking for work.  

The job?  Working with my son

Location?  In our home

Why?  Because he requires one-on-one support

When?  Now until...

We haven't always been able to hire someone that a friend has recommended though.  When that happens, if we don't find someone after reaching out as far as our rolodex of professionals and circle of friends go, I brainstorm ideas of where else I can look for qualified individuals who can meet Ronan's needs.  

One place a lot of families will use to find in-home help is online.  Since we have had more bad luck than praise reports using online classified ads, I knew that I wasn't going to go that route to find a new hire in my last search.  Others have been successful using services that match sitters/nannies/special needs attendants with families.  But I really wanted to go the old fashion route – by word of mouth. 

We lost a worker a few months ago.  I have been actively trying to fill the position since then.  After asking everyone we knew for some leads, I was not able to find anyone through word of mouth efforts.  I knew that I was going to have to look beyond my comfort zone to find our next provider.  

While looking through some ads placed by other parents in similar positions, I read that people were having some luck working with their local community colleges and universities.  I looked into that and discovered that some schools will offer to place their education, nursing or psychology department students in both paid and unpaid internships with families like mine.  We had not utilized an intern yet, but I would be open to that if we found the right match.  I thought that could be a really good idea, especially if it was someone who could learn and earn hands-on experience with my family.

Recently, a friend shared that she was looking for in-home help for her son as well.  Our boys are similar in that they are both non-verbal and require one-on-one assistance and supervision.  We were both going to have to hire complete strangers because she, too, could not find anyone within her circle of friends to help.

Talking about finding someone trustworthy who possesses the skills that our children require was a little nerve wracking for both of us.  I wrote those skills down after we chatted because I wanted to remember them when I sat down to write a job description.  After exhausting every avenue I went down to finding a new caregiver, my next step to find a new hire was to post the job description in town.  In case anyone else could use the information, I thought I'd share the job description here.  Feel free to cut/past, add/delete, and make the wording unique to your family's specific needs.  

Job Description:  Part-time in-home respite care for a child with special needs

Job Requirements:  Candidate must be at least 18 years old, have a high school degree or equivalent, have a valid driver's license, have a clean record (background check required), provide professional references, and provide their own transportation. 

Must also have excellent communication skills, be willing to learn, be able to adapt according to client’s/family’s needs as well as be able to perform the following daily and throughout shift:

-Arrive on time and be ready to work

-Observe and train with parents to learn client’s specific needs

-Hold special needs care experience and/or special education training

-Assist with feeding and toileting needs

-Bathe, groom, dress, and attend to client’s personal hygiene

-Prepare client’s meals as directed

-Assist, monitor or prompt client with encouragement and respect

-Redirect, monitor and observe noted care plans and changes to care plan as specified by parents

-Redirect client with positive reinforcement to reduce potential negative behavior(s)

-Monitor activity level, behavior outcomes, and seizure activity at all times

-Be flexible with family’s schedule as well as with client’s needs

-Maintain client and family’s privacy

-Knowledge of basic sign language beneficial but not required


During the interview process, the candidate and I will go over each of those points above.  I'll also add a few things that have come up with past employees.  Some of our past caregivers have been amazing, so I’ll share what made them desirable employees with new prospects.  I’ll also share things other employees, who were not so stellar, did that got them fired from the job.  Before the interview ends, I’ll explain to the candidates that wearing perfume or cologne can cause an increase in Ronan's sensory issues; that Ronan's providers cannot be distracted by their cell phones, that taking pictures and video of Ronan is not permitted; that that our family conversations are to be considered private and information about us is not to be shared with others at any time, including on social media; that if we're sick we'll give them as much notice as possible, and that we expect the same notice in return.  

Some of those items sound simple enough and may not need to be mentioned.  But I'd rather be upfront early with expectations than find us in an uncomfortable situation like we have had in the past when a provider had to be let go because of unprofessional behavior.  


We have been blessed with some wonderful helpers in the past.  Because of their hospitality toward not just Ronan but to our entire family, they remind me constantly that there are good people in the world.  

I'm happy to share that after months and months of searching, we'll be welcoming a good person into our home again.  Paperwork is being completed, and a start date is just around the corner.  I wish the same happens soon for my friend and for other families who may still be searching for the right person for their children.  We need good people working with Ronan and with other kids like my friend's son, too.

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.

If you have any hiring tips/suggestions that have helped you find just the right person, please share what’s worked for your family in the comments below. 

Ed Dowd's Cause Unknown can't be updated fast enough as we see a steady stream of sudden heart attacks and deaths in the news. Dr. Robert Malone's Lies My Government Told Me and the Better Future Coming speaks to the power of action and personal growth based on knowledge. 

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You are very welcome Cathy. You are right that even though so many of us have never met, our lives and challenges of living with autism are all the same. God Bless



Is the respite care self-funded or is government/insurance coverage available? In the late 80's - late 90's very little help was available. Not even from the public schools. We paid out of pocket for speech and vision therapy. I never had any respite care EVER. Not even from my husband or mother. No one knew what to do with my children. Except for four years at an elite public charter high school for one of mine, we paid out of pocket for all four son's K-12 education (home school/some private school). We did it on ONE income. My spouse did not get a raise since the year 2000 until he was let go (just before retirement age) during Covid. The Lord quickly provided a new job working from home and
he has received bonuses and 2 raises since then. I KNOW, God is able to provide for all your needs.

Cathy Jameson

Thank you, Gayle, for sharing that. Though many of us have never met, our lives and our prayers are so similar.


Cathy-I know what it's like to have great people come into your home, become like family, and then leave for another job. Years ago I had a home ABA program for my son and we had so many come and stay for some time and then leave for better jobs. The constant turnover is hard on our sons and hard on us too. I had someone for many years who also worked with my son on the piano and then she left to get a job and we were heartbroken. Recently we had someone from an agency, an older man, work with my son on academics for six years and then he got a herniated disk in his back and had to retire. Again it was like losing a family member and we were again heart broken. The agency has no one else who has the his skills and experience to replace him so now we have no one coming to work with my son. When you have a child/adult with autism the challenges just keep coming one after the other and it is mentally and emotionally exhausting. The only thing we can do is pray to God to give us the strength to carry on and get through a very challenging and difficult life.

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