Loss of Brains
Snug as a Hug on the Rug

To Protect & Serve


No, not the police. Us. How do you cope with the worry about the inevitable? The other night, my 27 year old said, “I love you,” as I tucked her into bed, not as echolalia, not mimicking me. On her own. It was like a warm hug and a sharp kick in my belly. 



The truth is, Will, very few that don't have vaccine induced autistic children themselves have no desire to enter into our world. My sister is a retired special ed aid. Before the AGE of Autism (pre-1987) she worked with Down's syndrome students. After pharma developed amniotic fluid tests for this condition, most mothers were advised to abort these babies. As a result, my sister's clientel numbers greatly dropped, only to be rapidly replaced with the never before seen "autistic" children. They had to create totally new strategies to help them and deal with a growing sometimes violent population. She was dedicated to serving her students, but unfortunately the school systems adopted often times ineffective and harmful protocols. My sister was always amazed at what I was able to accomplish with my children, mostly on my own. She retired as early as possible because she was burnt out and did not want to be injured by her students at the age of 65. There is no easy answer. Unfortunately families are often challenged with divorce, sickness, long distance, and financial worries. The close knit family communities are a thing of the past. Many of us are on our own.

Angus Files

I know of a local family where the parents did it all by the book and got their child/adult into full time care.Whilst they were alive he would attend the place and then come home say every 4th weekend.It was all good for 15 years plus .Both the parents eventually died.Out of the blue he started to be difficult about going back into care he did not want to go to the place that he was staying.He started coming home with bite marks on him bruises on his arms etc.It took the brother 36 months to get guardianship and have him back to stay with himself and his wife.Thats where he stays to this day with his brother.Safe and loved.Hes back to his cheery self again.Unlike after the parents died he was obviously being abused and upset refusing to go to the boardings that had been his home for most of his life.I just hope he dies before his brother as there is nobody else to look after him who cares as much as his brother and his wife.God Bless them.

Pharma For Prison


Autism Mom

Recently, coming out of a grocery store my son stopped suddenly and pushed on his temples. I noticed a man crossing our path gave him a hard stare, as if to say I am ready to take you down if you act erratic/I will say you threatened me/I'm looking for a fight/your granny won't be able to stop me. My fear is my son will be swept up for elimination as the LA Times is recommending, if his unruly arms and fast walk are perceived as threatening.
On the other hand, my son typed his own cards to the transition staff this year and he thanked one for being a friend to him and signed it with love. May all of our children find someone worthy of their love before we pass.


Do not assume that you will not outlive your injured child.
A missionary couple that we supported lost their young adult "high functioning" autistic child to suicide. One of mine suffers from a chronic kidney issue which is probably connected to vaccine injury resulting in ADHD. He is scary thin. Miraculously, he is able to currently perform well at his high paying job in computer security. He struggled with learning disabilities throughout private and home school. He got a manual labor type job at a big box store after high school and also worked to earn a two year computer related technical degree. He worked at the big box store for about 10 years while teaching himself network programming on the side. The same company had an opening in their IT department and hired him. Since then, he quickly advanced in his career and now works for a different company in cyber security. He was able to buy his own home and lives about an hour away. He is also on medication for ADHD and control of panic attacks. He only went on these as an adult, and they have enabled him to have success at his work. Even so, I worry about his long term health. At the end of the day, we should love and appreciate our children while we have them.


If Age of Autism parents and posters cared about their children and relatives with autism to the level that they claim they would lobby internationally for a change in policy related to Intermediate Care Facilities and other autism related care. People with autism need trained and loving care givers that are NOT their parents who will age and become disabled themselves eventually. Where are the siblings and other relatives in these peoples with autism lives?! Why cannot they help the aging mother?

Jerry Martinez

To hear I love you from your child, is perhaps one of the best blessings a human can get. Thank you for sharing. Yes, leaving this world haunts me at times. Who will care for him??Who will love him like my wife and I do?

This has been my greatest challenge of faith for me. Lord, I trust in thee! Thank you all for sharing!
G. Martinez


I worry every day about what will happen to my adult son with autism when I am no longer here to take care of him. There is no substitute for a mother's love of a child, and the worry over him being here without me is a nightmare that haunts me constantly. I want to live forever so I can protect him and love him forever. I continue to hope that there is a cure for him while I am still here to love and protect him.

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