Always Something
By Cathy Jameson
When one has as many kids and as busy a schedule as we have, the expression, “There’s always something going on!” perfectly sums up our life. That expression rings through once more…and makes for some interesting (and maybe even entertaining) storytelling here.
Two weeks ago, a hornet crawled out of a floor vent in our den. Ronan’s caregiver was home with Ronan when the scary, flying beast emerged. She trapped it, God bless her, and was rightly traumatized afterwards from the frightening few minutes the hornet was in my home.
Later, while telling my husband about the incident, he said it might be time to call an exterminator. We’d seen wasps in the house when the weather had started to warm up. A friend in the area had shared that they, too, get wasps in the house – sometimes from their chimney, sometimes through an air vent. Like the friend does, I trap and kill them. I used to be a catch-and-release kinda gal. Not so much anymore. I like nature, but I never like to see that sort of nature in my house. Unable to figure out how these insects were coming in, I knew we had to do something more.
A few exterminator companies would be available to help me, but I know that their first-line of defense would sometimes be some sort of chemical concoction. I didn’t want that option in case whatever they used would have negative interactions with Ronan’s health. After speaking to the company’s representative, who completely understood my predicament (and who said she’d be living in a hotel room if she ever experienced a hornet in the house), I agreed to have their technician come over for an inspection. I’d have to wait a few days though. Their schedule and mine wouldn’t match up until after the weekend.
While I anxiously waited, Ronan’s big sister helped put screens over every floor vent in the house. It might be a temporary fix, we said, but it was one that made our adrenaline rush less.
I got up early Monday morning to make breakfast for Ronan before woke up and to be ready for the inspection. Hoping he’d sleep in since he’d had two very early morning wake ups two days in a row, Ronan decided that the very second the technician drove down our driveway would be the very best time to wake up. He didn’t come find me right away like he usually does after waking up, but waited a few minutes. I was glad for that because it gave me a few minutes to give the young tech some information about the hornet that scared us.
While the tech was telling me what he would do first, which would be a walkthrough of the house and a peek in the attic, I heard Ronan walking toward us. So as not to startle the young man, I said, “Oh, hey, there’s my son.” The young man replied, “Yes, I heard you had a son that has some medical conditions and that you’re concerned with some of the sprays used to treat bugs.” As I gave him a quick rundown of my concerns, Ronan took himself to the bathroom. Within a few seconds, I could hear that he was actually using the bathroom.
Wow, I thought, great job, Rone! All those mornings that we, or his caregiver, had guided him to the bathroom first thing in the morning is paying off.
My mind quickly changed as I heard a different a sound coming from that bathroom. He was definitely peeing, but I could tell that none of it was going in the toilet. A loud splashing sound echoed from the half-bath, indicating that most of what my son had in his bladder that morning was now on the floor. Normally, using the bathroom independently is a major feat, but it included one of two massive clean ups we’d have to handle that week.
I politely cut the young guy off and sprinted as quickly as I could through the den, the kitchen and toward the bathroom. “So, hey, why don’t you do that attic inspection first while I clean something up,” I sheepishly offered. I was grateful that it wasn’t just a quick peek in the attic and that it took him quite a while to do a thorough walk-through. I needed every minute to get Ronan taken care of as well as to get the bathroom cleaned up.
While up in the attic, the young man discovered a bat. Great. Not only are their concerning bugs, we also have a bat. He assured me that it could not have been there too long because there were no bat droppings anywhere. Even so, a bat? I don’t want any flying things, big or small, inside my house!
Upon an outside inspection, the young man didn’t find any source of entry but did see two nests – one was a wasp nest. The other was a hornet nest. While both were abandoned, he said that his company could take care of them. With everything else that I had going on prior to the hornet invading my home, I asked him to yes, please, take care of them. Do whatever you need to to prevent more bugs from making new ones. It would be worth the peace of mind.
The next evening, Ronan’s youngest sister had an event to get to.
Leaving him with his other siblings so that I could accompany her, I made sure to have his dinner prepped. I also made sure Ronan used the bathroom before I left. Upon our return, we walked through the front door and encountered quite a smell. OOF. Oh, my word, OOOOOOF. What on earth happened in here? I wondered. Before I could ask, Ronan’s oldest sister rounded the corner.
“He pooped,” she sort of grumbled.
“Oh, good!” I replied with glee. By the look on her face, though, I could tell that nothing about the last two hours were in fact good.
“Honey? What happened??”
“Well, Ronan took himself to the bathroom again…,” Fiona started.
“Oh, YAY!” I said while clapping.
She didn’t seem to agree, though, so I quieted down and let her continue.
After she was done feeding him, Ronan had gone to my bathroom. That isn’t unusual, but he went by himself. That part was unusual because he is always taken to my bathroom by one of us. He never goes there alone. That night he did. And had a bowel movement. And tried to clean up after himself by himself. But he didn’t know how to. But he continued to try to. And it created a wee bit of a mess. Which followed him from my bathroom. Onto the carpet. Into the hallway. To his bedroom. Which is why it smelled the way it did when I walked in the house that evening. A poop-plosion, if you will, had gone off. And evidence of it still lingered in the air.
I wanted to jump for joy and celebrate Ronan’s independent streak, but I waited. I could tell that this incident didn’t go over well for the siblings. Not enough time had passed yet for me to show my excitement either. Instead of doing a happy dance, I went to see what sort of damage might’ve been done.
Thankfully, Fiona and Ronan’s younger brother had cleaned up much of everything very well. By the time I’d returned home, I just needed to relieve Fiona of her duties of watching Ronan so she could get a break. She’d pitched in so many times already since she’d come home from college, I didn’t want to overtax her. I’d need her to help with Ronan for several other events that were quickly coming up on my calendar.
The number of times I’ve had to ask the kids to help with their brother are too many to count. While helping, they have never really complained about how loud he is or how demanding he can be. They have never ever said no, they don’t want to help. While I’m very grateful for that, before I think about leaning on them these days, I look to see if I’ve exhausted others options. I’m very mindful that they’re growing into independent people with their own individual likes and dislikes. They like being with their friends doing their own thing. They like going out to the movies, or shopping, and to hang out at their friends’ houses, not ours all the time. The help I ask of them – by being brave when stinging beasties fly in, by cleaning up messy diapers when I’m not home, or by spoon-feeding Ronan who can’t feed himself – is a lot to ask of them. But they keep giving physical assistance to their brother. They also keep giving moral support to me and my husband as we tackle things that pop up…through air vents and into attics.
I know their paths will one day see them out of our home and into their own. So for every minute we can spend with Ronan as a family, I find to be a true blessing. It’s more of a blessing to know that the others haven’t run away from stuff (especially the stinky stuff!) as they encounter it. As he grows, and as each of the siblings grow, there’ll always be something going on in our family. I hope and pray we’ll be able to handle everything with grace. I’ll also hope we can laugh about the unbelievable stuff later. These recent wild Can-you-believe-it? stories are sometimes fun to share because, I bet many of you can believe them. That’s because I bet you’ve lived it also. To life, even as a nutty and stinky as it is for some of us, may we all always be able to live it well. Or at least crawl through it one tiny step at a time.
Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.
Another day in the life of autism most readers on here don’t need any convincing at all. I say to myself when speaking to people who don’t have autism vaccine damage in their household, Ill only give them what they might believe the rest unless you have a child/adult with autism you could be talking Martian and the big-eyed spaceman glazed look appears on their face. We also hope for a turn in events for autism and that something will work for the autistic, vaccine damaged, non-responders. Thanks for your hard work good to read.
Pharma For Prison
MMR RIP
Posted by: Angus Files | May 30, 2022 at 04:49 AM
Such an amazing family!
Posted by: 4Bobby | May 30, 2022 at 12:53 AM
I have some wasp too every once in a while found in the basement.
I found a hornet - big hugh yellow stripped thing all sick and on the basement floor about a week ago.
It was a different kind of hornet. As I said big long thing.
I think it is a cicada hornet.
The cicade only come out every 17 years and mate. Last year the mating was all centered in Ohio. My cousins said the sound they made was almost maddening, it was so loud and constant.
So far nothing here, except this hornet. It might be that we will get them later this year?
I just need my son to get some kind of health insurance. Things are coming along though. He has a part time job at the local grocery store as a stocker. He likes the work. Maybe he will build up his confidence and go for a factory jobs. There are several., and they are hiring, for how long; I don't know.
Posted by: Benedetta | May 29, 2022 at 10:55 PM
The house at poo corner......
I remember those days for one of mine who had severe chronic constipation. When he was about two, he smeared his poo all over the steps and wall- his way of telling me he had a problem. This was when he was still not able to talk, and I was horrified. He later got so constipated that he had to go to the emergency room to get some relief. I finally took him to a gasteroenterologist who put him on Miralax for about 6 months. I was clueless about some of the possible side effects from the treatment, and gave it to him every day. It worked like a charm. This was the beginning of some of his improvement. He was much more comfortable and had far fewer meltdowns. I stopped giving him the Miralax after 6 months and he was able to continue to maintain improved bowel habits. He had another level of improvement when we started intensive speech therapy at age three. In two years, he went from little speech and screaming to almost fluent speech. He continued to improve even after we quit speech therapy. The next big leap in improvement came when I began home schooling him in 5th grade. It relieved him of the daily social and sensory stress of a formal school setting. He was extremely bright, especially in math, and he could work at the much faster pace he was craving. He also had his own computer, and in sixth grade he began teaching himself programming so he could create a video game engine. That way he wouldn't have to pay royalties to use someone else's to create his own video game. LOL! With these intellectual outlets, he had fewer meltdowns. We were also able to do international travel with them for several years. While he would sometimes get overstressed and melt down, he was fascinated by all he saw and did. As an adult, he sometimes has to travel for his job, so he was well prepared.
Posted by: Emmaphiladelphia | May 29, 2022 at 10:55 PM
I too pray for a healing miracle for Ronan. But here’s a reminder that he has already brought miracles to your home: the self-sacrificing siblings who bring so much love into Ronan’s life.
God bless all the Jamesons, especially Fiona who leads by example.
Posted by: MamaBear | May 29, 2022 at 03:01 PM
Cathy-You are very blessed to have such wonderful children who are so helpful and attentive to Ronan's needs in these very difficult situations. We have challenges that are also difficult to handle and our older son also helps us out with helping to care for his younger brother who has autism. I sympathize and identify with the difficulties of life with a family member who has autism and pray that we all have the strength to continue caring for them in the future. We must pray for a miracle cure from the medical community to save our precious children/adults from this autism illness. God Bless you and your special family.
Posted by: Gayle | May 29, 2022 at 10:59 AM