Ring Doorbell
By Kim Rossi
This was my memory from Facebook, TEN years ago.
Doorbell just rang. A little boy who rode the sped bus with Bella 2 years ago was at my door, clutching a doll. Alone. I knew instantly he had wandered from his house about 1/8th mile away, but on the highway. I walked him home. His sister said "Mom is sleeping." Cousin (mid teens) was really concerned. "We didn't see him leave." I told them better me than an ambulance or a cop delivering bad news. He knew "Bella's house." God bless the little guy. And his guardian angel for getting him to my house and not the RIVER across the street or the highway.
I wonder where this boy is today at age 18 or 19? Wandering will always be a worry for many of us. Cameras and door chimes help. But we are human. We have less wandering in my home than in the past now that the girls are women in their 20s. Once, one of my girls left the house and was busting uphill toward the end of our road, which was, at the time, right at the end of an exit to a 4 lane highway. I was calling out to her, "Stop! Stop!" She kept going. A man was walking his dog, and I screamed at him, "Please stop her!" He watched her motor by him without a care. I was so angry. I ran as fast I could, I tripped and fell, I kept going and snatched her to safety. I said nothing to him as we walked by him, on the way back home. I knew I'd have blown my stack. He was a neighbor. HAH! We can NOT rely on strangers. Despite decades of awareness - no one really has a clue about autism beyond the once in a high school career prom "date" and other feel good, do nothing stories. And now we're onto "acceptance." It's a joke. Not even the day programs whose MISSION it is to serve the disabled population want the young adults with a high LON score - Level of Need. That means behavior. They are being turned away here in Connecticut even with decent budgets from DDS of $55,00 - $100,000 a year. They LOSE money for organizations. The State privatized care years ago, closed their facilities. And now? The doors are CLOSED.
Kim is Managing Editor, Chief, Cook and Bottle Washer of Age of Autism.
Nonnymouse .I also puzzled why our son wanted to escape all the time. So i took him to a remote place and just let him go.Rather than follow him I went up a cliff and observed him and watched him for about half an hour doing his usual manic giggling tripping and falling as he went. I would then get closer and repeated this for about two hours he couldn’t see me. He hadn’t a clue where he was, he had no idea where he was going. He just kept going along the coast line. After about nearly 3 hours it was getting dark and I thought is he ever going to turn back? But I could see he had not a clue where he was going and no awareness of the darkness creeping in.I caught up with him and took him back to the car with the torch in pitch darkness. I just thought then with great sadness they are not aware. The best of it was at school via one of the parents smile your so lucky you have a child with Autism drives. The school was telling us to empower him? no kidding ..we were told off "don’t walk in front of him all the time let him lead you.”. Yup! At that point I thought is my wife and I missing something? how have we got it so wrong.. I spoke to this Autism behaviour specialist in a controlled manner. There’s a very good reason why we walk in front of him and tell everyone to walk in front of him such as.! His eyes would flick to a feather in front of a 16-ton lorry doing 60mph and off he would go straight into the path of the lorry to get the feather oblivious of the outcome. That’s why we walk in front with a firm grip of his hand, to stop him. Even then they still wouldn’t accept it. We also had a canoe cord that canoeists tie to their foot or wrist in case they loose their canoe- that works also if your camping and have to sleep in an open tent that you can’t lock. But anyway, we wrote a letter explaining that if anything happened to him due to this attempted change in his management, we would hold the school totally responsible and sue the school. They backed off. But do we need the hassle folks? no we don’t! Left to that jokers big ideas on autism he would have been killed and he would not have known why or would have had any awareness of danger before it happened.
Posted by: Angus Files | April 25, 2022 at 04:06 PM
Here is an article in my local paper today for Autism "ACCEPTANCE" month.
https://www.vindy.com/news/local-news/2022/04/canfield-third-graders-show-autism-cant-slow-them-down/
The link below is to a letter written & published to the editor of the same paper eleven years ago for Autism "AWARENESS" month. Dusted off & updated & ran a couple Sunday's ago.
https://www.vindy.com/opinion/letters-to-the-editor/2022/04/take-time-to-raise-vaccine-awareness/
Tines have changed. Shut up & enjoy your child's brain injury. Smile through the tears or you're a bad person.
Posted by: Andrea | April 24, 2022 at 09:58 AM
Our son got away from us twice. At age 6 he bolted and was swept away in a crowd at an amusement park for quite a few harrowing minutes. He took off on his own from home at age 10. I heard the front door close (he is the only one in the family who would leave without saying goodbye) so off we all ran in separate directions. His brother found him at a fountain a few blocks away, while I frantically searched the shoreline of the bay. I stopped taking him to stores for years, because he loved to play hide-and-seek there.
He has one more year in the school system. What are we to do? People seem to think it is perfectly acceptable to assign the least qualified staff to non-speakers
https://www.npr.org/2022/04/21/1092343446/special-education-teachers-hawaii
Posted by: Autism Mom | April 23, 2022 at 09:27 PM
In addition to autism, these days there is an exploding population of older people with dementia. Some of them -- maybe a lot of them -- keep trying to 'elope' also.
One theory, in the older folks, is that perhaps they want to go 'home.' Back to where they could think right, and the world made sense, maybe? Not just where they used to live, but where their brain worked right.
Has anyone heard ideas about why autism seems to be accompanied by desire to escape?
Posted by: Nonnymouse | April 23, 2022 at 06:19 PM
Obama is correct:
"He then said that people are 'dying because of disinformation.'"
The greatest culprit...
"Vaccines are safe. Vaccines are effective."
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/obama-clinton-rail-against-free-speech-under-guise-fighting-misinformation
Isn't this at the root of children running off?
Posted by: Emmaphiladelphia | April 23, 2022 at 05:52 PM
Our boy when younger I`m sure he waited for us to blink and at that point vanish.I dont know how many times we lost him. I broke an arm and a leg one time following him down a slippy sea cliff no phone signal either.Another the gamekeeper thought it was a burglar so had his shotgun at the ready.The school lost him 3-4 times at least.Houdini wasnt the master escaper our autistic kids do it far better.Too many times I want to recall to be honest better forgotten .Hes a lot better now but we still cant trust him aged 24."where is he" have you seen him"?etc etc
Well done Kim saving that wee lad and your daughter from who know what.
Pharma For Prison
MMR RIP
Posted by: Angus Files | April 23, 2022 at 01:32 PM
I have dealt with wandering in the past. The most memorable and frightening was when my son ran down to a lake. Could have been a tragic outcome.
Posted by: 4Bobby | April 23, 2022 at 11:02 AM