SEYMOUR CT— Police say an investigation has revealed a Monroe woman “intentionally drove” her vehicle into the Housatonic River in July, leading to her death and killing her son who was a passenger.

The Detective Division has deemed the crash a murder-suicide, Deputy Police Chief Roberto Rinaldi announced in a statement Wednesday that stated the investigation has been completed. Read more CT Post Police: Monroe mom 'intentionally' drove car into Housatonic in murder-suicide involving her son

Hello, readers. I live in Connecticut in the next town over from Monroe. The Housatonic river that runs up 149 miles up into Massachusetts, dotted with shuttered factories in the Housatonic Valley . Factories that used to manufacture the products that made America run back to Colonial times.  On a warm Summer day, powerboats and sailboats dot the water that flows into Long Island Sound in Bridgeport. We are not strangers to catastrophic death here. Sandy Hook School is just 14 miles up the road. The perpetrator of that horror was a boy with Asperger's. He killed his own mother in the spree. Here, Mom, as determined by an investigation, a woman known to so many as a strong advocate for her son with special needs, loved by so many, purposefully drove her vehicle off the road and into the Housatonic. And she turned down assistance.  “The boater made numerous attempts to rescue the occupants of the vehicle,” Rinaldi said. “However, Connie Crowell refused to acknowledge or accept the boater’s assistance and rescue efforts.”

I'm on a large Facebook group for CT Special Needs Families. We have members from all walks of life, whose loved ones have the full array of disabilities, autism included.  There was a tribute thread in which member after member expressed shock, dismay and a deep sympathy for Connie Crowell and her son John.  She was beloved. A great Mom. Strong. Moved heaven and earth for her son. Don't we all? Day in and day out. And then she drowned him. Will we never know what motivated her? Having covered stories other Mothers who murdered their special needs children including Gigi Jordan, Karen McCarron and Dorothy Spourdalakis, and not knowing Connie personally, I assumed my usual role of adding another perspective to the thread. Not sure it was welcome, but I have said this every time a parent has murdered his or her child with special needs.  WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO KILL OUR CHILDREN.  And then asked if MEDICATIONS played a role.

My comment on Facebook: I’m going to poop in the punch bowl. This is a horror. I understand the depths of despair and the incredible stress we all face. We all do. Still, we don’t get to murder our children. If she had been a distressed Dad and shot himself and his son, would the thoughts be as kind and understanding? My first question is - was she on medications for which the side effect is suicidal ideation? I think that’s really important. Was this a medication driven decision?? She drowned her son. Years ago, Wealthy Gigi Jordan shoved pills into her son w autism until he seized and choked on his vomit at the ritzy Peninsula Hotel. Dr Karen McCarron put a bag over her autistic 3 year old daughter’s head. Dorothy Spourdalakis stabbed her son Alex to death after he had languished in a Chicago hospital for weeks bc of his violent behavior. This beautiful boy drowned at his Mother’s choice. We don’t get to murder our kids. I’m going to cry now.

By late July, Covid lockdown had taken a toll on all of us. We were four and a half months into the worry, the lack of services.  At age 22, John, called Jack,  would have just aged out of any school based services, and no one was taking in new adults into programs. My daughters' day program still has not enrolled adults who aged out last year. We are all exhausted, sometimes, maybe often, to the breaking point.  Now we have had a weather catastrophe that's impacts thousands of families with kids for whom routine and sameness is mother's milk. (Sorry, "people's chest expressed beverage.")

No one will know what darkness overtook Connie Crowell. Or how to prevent the darkness from devouring any of us. May God bless their souls, especially John, who died knowing that his mother killed him. It tears me up inside.