Note: Cathy and I had an exchange this weekend about her Sunday post. She was working on a somber piece about the Virginia vaccine exemption repeal bill. We're headed to a vote on the Connecticut bill as soon as tomorrow. I dread telling my Bella that she is dangerous and unable to attend her school. I don't think there's an icon on her TouchChat for that. Cathy decided to run a story that had made her laugh out loud. Thanks to Cathy for the giggle. Laughter is the best medicine, Reader's Digest told us so every month.
By Cathy Jameson
Essential oils may not be considered medicine, but laughter sure can be. Please enjoy a story from a few years ago that I shared with friends. --
I promise that this story has nothing to do with diagnosing or making claims about oils preventing, curing or healing ailments, illnesses or diseases. It’s an essential oils story recycled from a Facebook status of mine that is just about the funniest status I have ever shared. Since I wasn’t able to add everything in that quick status about my quest to find the one oil that I was looking for, I’ve added those details here. If you know me and you know how quickly embarrassed I can get, you'll understand why this was quite the tale. I don't like it when I feel embarrassed. I like laughing though, especially after another long week of advocating.
And now, the story:
So, I ran out of Frankincense and thought I'd run into CVS to see if they carry any. I’ve been using it for myself and liked it. Ronan seemed to like it, too. A corner drug store wouldn’t normally be the first place I looked for Frankincense, but you never know. Some of these places are catching on and offering more natural products for their customers.
I walked in the store and saw a young man and a lady about my age talking behind the front counter. There weren’t any customers in line, so I went up to them and asked if they had essential oils. The woman smiled and said, “Yeah.” Then she turned toward the young man and told him she’d be right back. Looking at me, she said, “Come with me. I’ll bring you to that section.” Surprised, I said thank you and followed her.
I thought she’d bring me to the supplement aisle, but we walked to the back of the store where the feminine products were. I waited as she scanned the shelves.
Interesting place for the oils, I thought.
Looking at the bottles and boxes in front of her, she shook her head and looked further down that aisle. “Nope, not here,” she said to herself. “Come this way,” she directed me. I stayed a step behind her as we made our way to the other side of the store.
Around the corner.
To where the personal lubrication oils were.
Where the CVS employee extended her arm.
Where she pointed her finger.
And said OUT LOUD:
"THERE. There’s the oil you’re looking for."
Um, no. Just no.
I stared in disbelief at the lubricants. Oh no! I could feel my cheeks begin to burn and knew that they were turning very, very, VERY red.
Lubrication oil may very well be "essential" for some, but that was NOT the type of oil I was looking for.
Before I could say, "Gee, thanks, but that's not what I'm looking for," the salesclerk scurried away.
I looked up the aisle and down the aisle. Not about to make eye contact with anyone, I averted my eyes and began to scan a different shelf in the same section. I looked over my shoulder and headed toward the pharmacy counter. The pharmacist should be able to help me. Right?
"Hey, sorry to bother you. I'm looking for something called Frankincense. It's an essential oil. Do you carry that?"
"Frank? Frank who? Who are you looking for, ma'am?"
If there ever was a smack-my-head moment, this would be it. Times one thousand.
"It's not a who; it's Frankincense. An essential oil. A natural oil."
"Nope, if we have any oils, they are over..." and she extended her arm and her pointy finger to the same sexual aid section where the first employee directed me.
I cut her off, "NO. Please. Not *those*oils."
"I'm sorry, honey. We don't have any, what did you call it? Franken oil?"
Franken oil. Really?
“Never mind,” I sheepishly replied.
I hung my head and turned around. Even though I hadn’t done anything wrong, I felt like I was walking the walk of shame. On my way out, I cut through an aisle that had a display of vitamins and "natural" products. Glancing toward the bottom shelf, a dark amber bottle caught my eye. A-ha! It was a bottle of Tea Tree Oil. Look at that. They DO carry essential oils! I didn't feel like picking it up to show the pharmacist though, so I kept on walking toward the front door. I'd spent enough time in the store knowing that I just wanted to get out of it.
As I made my way toward the front entrance, I spied the same young man who now wore a smirk on his face. “Hey, yeah. So funny story for you," I started. I’m sure the other employee had already filled him in, but I continued anyway.
"That oil I was looking for? Well, you do carry essential oils. But it isn't Frankincense. Tell your co-worker nice try. What she showed me was not an essential oil. It was so not the oil I was looking for…”
My voice trailed off. I left the store and mentally added ‘Buy Frankincense online’ to my To Do list.
Then I laughed all the way to my car.
In between fits of giggles I promised myself something. I promised that I would never set foot in that CVS store ever again.
I know I said I’d never go back to the store where this story took place, but I found myself in that CVS again last week. Oh, the horror! But thank goodness for this hilarious memory. I made it in and out of the store with no embarrassment this time.
Do you have a funny story about a supplement purchase? How about a therapy blunder? Share a few laughs with us in the comment section below. After watching more state bills advance last week, I know a few of us long-time advocates could use a good belly laugh before we get ready to fight the good fight again this week.
Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.