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Traumas of severe autism and psychosis haunt a mother as she repairs her broken home and heart.

WeepNote: Every so often, we get a glimpse into the real lives of families facing the challenges of raising a child on the spectrum. Too often, we get a whitewashed, Hollywood version of autism, whether The Good Doctor or the 1 in a million young lady who becomes a lawyer. For many, probably most of our AofA readers, life is difficult. In my memoir, I wrote that I would never have a life that was like a big wedding cake, with a hundred plates of cake. I have a petit fours life. One tiny bite on one small plate. Maybe three small plates. And that bite is delicious. I savor it. While I want the whole cake, for my girls most of all, it's not reality for us. And so I find joy and delight where I can.  Read this blog entry below. The silver lining for her is scar tissue.  Think about that. Her daughter suffers from autism and severe mental illness. Her story is not unique. Many families have sought residential or inpatient treatments for their severely aggressive children, only to find nothing. We know the story of Alex Spourdalakis too well.  His mother spent weeks in an ER with her son tied to a bed. And then she murdered him.  This is life for many in The Age of Autism.  Robyn, if you read this. We are glad you are safe and hope that your Ariana finds relief from her agony.


Traumas of severe autism and psychosis haunt a mother as she repairs her broken home and heart.

By Robyn Fedrigon

We live in a beautiful home, in a beautiful neighborhood. I am almost done repairing destruction caused by severe autism and psychosis. It’s been five months since she’s been away. I’ve painted just about every room in our home.  I’ve spackled holes in the wall—the size of feet and fists. I remember the tears, as I painted over the last muddy handprint she left above the bathtub. And hanging new blinds from ones that were broken from her trying to, and eloping out of windows. Door frames needing total replacements from the repeated slamming while she was manic.

We’ve replaced about 20 new door handles throughout the house because if they were locked, she would break in with force. A two-foot hole Ariana dug with her bare hands as four adults tried to stop her mania...finally has grass growing. The field behind our house, from window view, is again filled with water. I have flashes of memories as she ran and went in that mud/water field and no one was going to stop her mania. Even our neighbors feared her. 

I drive down Gittings Road everyday, and everyday I remember racing to save them while she was running, disrobed, and my husband had her restrained on the ground on the side of the road. Cars pulled over out of concern, one being an undercover sheriff. I remember Facetiming her as my husband drove her to school in Milwaukee, and to my horror, she dropped the phone, jumped out of the car in a busy intersection and attempted to enter a home while disrobing, all unfolding in front of my eyes while I could do nothing. 

My life was high vigilance 24/7 for years. And escalating crisis level every year for a few years. The mornings I had to kiss my babies goodbye before she got up so they could get safely tucked away at daycare because she would get “set off” leading to aggression/destruction at the sound of their little voices. Watching my girl being handcuffed by police, at least a half dozen times, what mother has to witness this and know it’s the only option because she’s not safe. 

Countless ER transports for Mental Health Evals and state mental hospital admissions. My arms no longer have bruises and cuts, only scars. I don’t have to wear cover-up jackets to hide what was caused by my own child...not a violent spouse, as many would assume. I’m getting a new SUV this week, my current one has too many memories of my girl kicking at my steering wheel, kicking the trunk window as I was going 65mph down I-94 desperately approaching our exit. So many times a naked 12 year-old in plain sight in my trunk, silently hoping a passerby would call the cops because it was just that dangerous, for all. Watching from my rear-view mirror, while driving, as she was assaulting two aides in the back seat while trying to get to me.  Read more at the National Council on Severe Autism blog here.




I support many progressive causes, as I disagree with many republican “values” (such as homophobia, gun obsessions and beating kids), but vaccination isn’t progressive.

wanting to force cocktail injections on developing brains, eventually leading to violent and aggressive rages, meltdowns, impaired social and academic development, government spending literal trillions on autism costs alone isn’t progressive.

Psych wards further demolish the patients little well-being left, with injections, coercion, drugs, isolation, etc.

I believe in multiculturalism and human rights, but not vaccines or psychiatry.


Hi Amaranta,
Murdering someone is horrible, and here we fight against all types of abuse to people with autism, people with developmental delays, people who cannot speak for themselves. I would like to think that you fight to help people who can't speak for themselves too.
As Grace pointed out, Alex was tied down to a bed for ? months? While his mother was begging them to give him medical help and treat his pain. Yes, she almost certainly went temporarily crazy from watching his suffering and did something anyone here would have prevented to protect Alex. His life is precious beyond anything.. Which makes his murder a terrible terrible thing. And also how horrible to watch someone you love begging you for help with their eyes for months while you watch them writhing in pain tied to a bed . Sometimes peoples minds break. And sometimes innocent people suffer. Alex's mother has been punished and is in jail. What happened to the medical professionals who tied Alex to a bed for months while he writhed in pain? What do you think should happen to them?

Grace Green

You clearly have no experience of the condition he suffered from. It can include severe physical pain and suffering, and these symptoms are completely ignored by the medical profession, who tie the patient to the bed just to make their lives easier. If the patient is non-verbal he can't communicate his pain. What his mother was driven to do would possibly have been classed in the UK as a mercy killing, since he was sent home with no further treatment because of financial reasons. Before blaming anyone for doing that you should make it plain that you approve of the torture practiced by the medical profession, which lead to the consequence, not to mention the fact that they caused the illness in the first place.

Amaranta Bychowski

"We know the story of Alex Spourdalakis too well. His mother spent weeks in an ER with her son tied to a bed. And then she murdered him. This is life for many in The Age of Autism."

So it's okay to murder your child? You guys are sick.

R. anonymous

The evil “Neurodiversity” movement shamelessly denies autism’s overwhelming and extreme environment factors, vitamin/mineral deficiencies, aluminum and metal toxicity in the brain, and worst of all NDM scumbags denounce live saving treatments like proper chelation, vitamin/mineral therapy, healthier diet, etc. Interestingly, the evil NDM also supports the evil “Fat Acceptance Movement” which normalizes obesity, chugging down junk food and sugar water like its your job on SSI, normalizes massive airplane seats, mobility scooters for those who voluntarily make themselves disabled via obesity, and i say this as a disabled person myself. But i don’t want to be stuck with mommy and daddy forever, or be in a group home, nor be dependent on services my whole life. i have a better life to live than this dystopian nightmare.

Theresa Cedillo

Absolutely heartbreaking and a reality for more than most people realize. No one can understand it unless they experience it. People outside of our community need to know about the other side of autism. Poor blessed suffering souls. I pray this young girl is better and safe and her mom too.


This story is a true tragedy. Families of children and adults living with autism are living the most difficult life any family can have and endure. We desperately need RESEARCH by qualified scientists, researchers, medical professionals to finally find the CURE that will reverse the tragic condition of AUTISM. My son is an adult and we have waited too long for the answer to a cure for our son's condition as have many families I know who have adults with autism. The time for a cure is NOW! We can't wait a lifetime as none of us will live forever!

Paul Thomas MD

This just breaks my heart. How many more must be harmed before we stop this insanity. I have tears and an aching heart. Thanks for your bravery and for sharing this.
Dr. Paul.

Aimee Doyle

Stories like this make me profound sad - and furious.

WHY does the neurodiversity movement ignore stories like this? WHERE is ASAN? They say they are the only ones who truly understand autism. Then why aren't they providing practical, hands-on help to families like this?

All I ever hear is criticism of parents who don't buy into the "autism is a gift" mindset. All I see is blockage of research toward cure. I don't understand how the neurodiversity movement came to dominate the conversation.

And good grief - don't stories like this ever make it into IACC discussions?

Bob Moffit

Absolutely heartbreaking "glimpse into the real lives of families facing the challenges of raising a child on the spectrum ..

Reminded me of Autism Speaks 2006 "glimpse" of "Autism Everyday" .. seven minute video now available on youtube:

Should you take the time to view this video .. these are some of the "top comments" by viewers .. and I suspect the same neuro-diversity crowd that believes autism is a GIFT and a CURE would be tragic … would have similar comments on today's 'glimpse" on AoA:

#1 .. He will never get married" wow what kind of mother says this?
#2.. Not even once in this video does it seem like they care about the autistic children; just the parents...
#3.. Non-verbal doesn't mean non-living. That little girl was RIGHT THERE when her mother was talking about committing a murder-suicide, IN FRONT OF CAMERAS. What kind of things does that woman say behind closed doors? Somebody needs to get both of her daughters out of that toxic environment before it's too late.
#4 .. Not once in this video did I here a parent say 'I love you' to their child
#5 .. "Who will take care of him when i'm gone?" Hopefully someone better
#6 .. "I wish I had a sister without autism?! WHAT
#7 .. "I read that the parents were supposedly instructed to stop all therapies before filming, to make sure that their children were behaving "autistic enough" to shoe how "terrible" their lives were.
#8 .. "I myself am on the spectrum, and I have to say: I've read about this particular video, and what I read sounded reprehensible. Seeing the video brings a whole new level of "reprehensible" to the table...
#9 .. "Note that she says that with the said child in the room with her...moreover, the line sounds completely rehearsed. How many times did the filmmakers have her repeat that line until it no longer sounded repulsive.

"We know the story of Alex Spourdalakis too well. His mother spent weeks in an ER with her son tied to a bed. And then she murdered him. This is life for many in The Age of Autism."

Hopefully someday someone will produce a full length film .. such as .. VAXXED .. showing AGAIN the difficult and devastating experience severe autism has on a families like Robyn Fedrigon and Alex Spourdalakis .. their community, their schools, and our country. Let those hateful comments condemning such a film reveal themselves for what they are .. self-centered .. self-absorbed .. lacking any compassion these families.

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