Hi, friends. I saw this news report on Facebook yesterday. Police: Mother Strangled, Abused 6-Year-Old Son With Autism After He Defecated In Pants Child abuse is nothing new. Parents of typical children beat them, harm them even kill them out of anger for childhood "sins" like wetting or soiling their pants. The comments on Facebook were appropriately and perhaps especially harsh toward this Mom, whose comments seemed anything but remorseful, according to the report. Many call for harming the Mom. "Just give me 5 minutes with her!" I get it. Child abuse in any form is anathema to the majority of us.
The boy in this story is just six years old. How will Mom cope when he is 16? 26? The stresses are too much for some parents to bear. Many just don't have the support systems, pressure relief valves, money, respite, training, or simple parental patience, which for autism is about 1000X what's needed for a typical child. That said, wealthy parents with the world at their fingertips have murdered their autistic sons and daughters as the exhaustion, despair and frustration of parenting a child on the spectrum strikes every socioeconomic group.
I have 64 cumulative years of autism parenting under my belt. I still struggle with temper and patience when the chaos takes over. One of my children was not BM trained until almost 12 years of age. Another used to play in toilet water to satisfy a perseveration, even when the toilet had not been flushed. I coined the term, "crapisode." That awful mess made my head explode every time. My first reaction was never sympathy. My second reaction was never to harm. Sometimes I just shut the bathroom door with her in it and walked away to catch my breath. That's me. Or was me 12 years ago. Today I have many more support systems than I did a decade ago, despite choosing to divorce. Like most of you readers, even with support, as the sole caretaker, I get tired.
I hope this Mom gets help. For herself first. So that she can begin to parent her son in an appropriate way.