Avoiding Risky Situations
When my kids’ sports seasons ended this spring I was glad for the break. Don’t get me wrong; I love supporting my kids and seeing them excel on the field and on the court. But the late afternoon practices, the travel time to away events, and the later-to-bedtime evenings took a toll on all of us. When the seasons ended, and when summer vacation finally arrived, I soaked in all the extra time that I wasn’t running here, there and everywhere.
That respite lasted all of about 3½ weeks.
My oldest had fall sports on the brain long before last school year ended. She’s been dreaming about being back on the court for months now. I love her enthusiasm and am her biggest cheerleader. I promised to make sure she would get to some of the practices when the summer schedule was announced. I was all set to add those to the family calendar again earlier this week, but before getting back into the swing of things, Fiona had to get a sports physical. Not usually covered by insurance, other parents in the past had let me know that we could go to an urgent care or walk-in clinic to get that exam done. Since it would take a while to get an appointment with our regular doctor, I decided to go to a walk-in clinic. But which one?
Do I go to the one where a young doctor attempted to scare me with outdated third-world country statistics? Do I go back to the one where the charge nurse accused Ronan’s little sister of making herself wheeze and making her throat constrict on command when her throat was in fact actually closing? Do I go to the one where the nurse was hell bent on selling me the HPV vaccine for my daughters when I’d already politely declined the vaccine several times? Or do I go to the one where they wanted to give my daughter a flu shot when the reason for our visit had nothing to do with the flu or the flu shot but everything to do with a potential bone break?
Since vaccine discrimination is alive and well, I wanted to be careful with whom I chose. While one place offered a deep discount for the physical, I went with my gut and headed to another place. We’d had success the year before for a minor medical issue. When we’d used their services previously, the medical staff was attentive, polite and attended to the medical condition that my child presented. Not only that, vaccines were not even discussed. That’s because vaccines had nothing to do with the issue at hand. Imagine that! Where other urgent care places we’d been to took a ‘grab and stab’ mentality (you’re here, you’re ‘behind’ on vaccines, let’s go ahead and catch you up), this group focused on the medical situation that brought us into the place. Hoping for a repeat experience, I said a little prayer before we got to the place, “Lord, if things get heated, as You know has happened in the past, please help me to know what to say and to then say it with charity. Amen.”
The nurse recognized us and was welcoming as we walked in. Holding nothing back, I felt confident in sharing the personal and medical information that was asked of me. I don’t always get to do that. Other providers who’ve been pushy and one-sided make me clam up. They get the basics or a carefully worded statement from me about my child’s medical history or vaccine status, and that’s it. I’m always honest. It’s just that lately, with how closed-minded some people are, and with how threatening some providers can be, I’m more judicious in how I reply.
Thankfully, we ran into none of that last week. And since Fiona has no pressing medical issues that would restrict her from participating in athletic activities, the exam was over almost as soon as it had begun. I paid a little bit more than I wanted to for it, but we walked out with what we needed and without being heckled or belittled in any way.
Ushering Fiona and her younger siblings who accompanied us that morning to the parking lot, I thumbed through the stack of papers, which included the signed physical form and some others that their office printed off. Right before I got to the car, I laughed out loud. One of the pages included a section titled Keep Your Child Healthy and Safe.
The first paragraph stated: …take your child to the pediatrician…it’s a smart way to keep your child healthy…be sure to keep well-visits…where the doctor will administer any vaccinations that are due…
The kids chuckled when I read that aloud.
“Mom, well-visits are just a way to get you in their office.”
“Then some won’t let you leave until they give you all kinds of vaccines”
“Yeah, even ones you don’t need!”
Then I read to them what had made me laugh.
Now, the average parent who’s never walked in my shoes – that is as the parent of a vaccine injured child, may not appreciate the following as much as I did, but Fiona absolutely understood the irony after we discreetly high fived each other upon leaving the exam room not moments before: Teach your child to avoid risky situations and violent people. Tell them not to be afraid to call for help…
“Mom. Really? We’re all about avoiding risky vaccine situations, huh?” she said matter-of-factly.
Proudly, I replied, “Yes, my dear, we are. You very much are now, too.”
Having witnessed awful attitudes thrown at me by pro-vaccine providers in the past, Fiona understood full well why I couldn’t just walk into just any clinic with her that day. It had to be one where we felt safe and where our rights would be fully respected. My younger children are learning how important that is as well. They, too, have heard the stories and have witnessed the reality of being discriminated against because we choose to – and have every right to – opt out of certain procedures.
I never thought I’d have to teach them how to protect themselves when they find themselves in a doctor’s office, but with how intimidating some providers have been toward us, I must. As my children get older, I want them to keep in mind everything that I’ve done to protect them. I also want them to remember that when they’re adults, it’s their bodies, their choice when it comes to vaccines. No one else should get to make that decision for them. No one.
Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.
I agree with everything you said. And what makes it all even harder for me to accept, is I now understand that no vaccine has ever prevented a disease of any kind. Not even polio.
Posted by: Barry | July 17, 2017 at 07:04 AM
Thanks Cathy , great signposting of approaching hazards! Avoding interaction with Health and Social Care providers is imopssible?. Same as the banks/financial industry . Would people trust the financial industry without getting copies of all financial transactions?. Strongly suggestpeople get copies of all medical records. UK cost about £50 but definately worth it ! I wish we had done it years ago it would have saved us a lot of unnecessary serious trouble, but as is often said hindsight is a great thing !
Errors,omissions and differences in personal /medical opinion are best "nipped in the bud" questioned and challenged right away. Catatonic rigid vaccination regiemes are sadly only the tip of the iceberg with current serious "BEST INTEREST" decisions getting made about people without consent.
Refusal of a vaccination will probably be recorded in medical records as a de-faulter at best or Mother suffering from a vaccine phobia affecting her and her children ? I have documented evidence of similar and worse ! Any discrimination in Health and Social care is totally unacceptible and is getting challenged at every opportunity as it does not meet professional codes of conduct end of!
Posted by: Morag | July 17, 2017 at 05:12 AM
Sadly, some people need to live through an experience themselves to believe it. After all, when we are very young we learn at school that doctors and nurses, like police officers, are completely trustworthy like Mum and Dad - they are there to help us, and keep us safe and well. We are not told that because they are human our trust in them should only go so far.
Many adults would never dream of questioning their doctor's word because of this early indoctrination, and they should try it to get a sense of what we're up against.
I'm a Nurse Dressed in White
(Tune: Little White Duck)
I'm a nurse dressed in white,
And I feel just swell.
When you are sick,
I help to make you well.
I give you shots,
And if you're afraid,
I fix you up with a big Band-Aid.
I'm a nurse dressed in white,
And I feel just swell.
Now you're well!
I'm a Helpful Doctor
(Tune: I'm a Little Teapot)
I'm a helpful doctor,
Dressed in white,
I help people feel better,
Day and night.
When you get hurt or sick,
Come see me.
I'll get you all fixed up,
Just as quick as can be.
Posted by: ATSC | July 16, 2017 at 07:40 PM
McDonald’s employees are trained over and over to say... “Would you like fries or a supersize drink with that ???”
At American med schools they teach... “Would you like the HPV with that ? $$$”
Posted by: go Trump | July 16, 2017 at 04:27 PM
In case you are someone who does not have an issue with vaccines, never had a reaction in your family, and are struggling to understand why this little dance is so difficult:
Imagine that every time you went to get gas for your car, you had to go through a gauntlet of the worst behaving salespeople you have ever seen. First, becasue one of your children previously got brain-damaged from riding in one of these cars, you know the cars they are selling have toxic upholstery, have never been tested for safety, and basically fall apart at 100 miles. Secondly, the salespeople infer you need a new car "for your own good" and look at you askance when you say you are fine, you just want gas for your current car. Thirdly, the sales people start to get hostile. You selfish jerk--you need to do this "for the safety of others" . Fourthly, they ridicule you and look at you with patronizing eyes when you mention the damage that happened to your child. But POLIO they say. What about the cars that drove you away from POLIO? They refuse to hear your explanation that POLIO is not HEP B DPT DIPTHERIA MEASLES MUMPS RUBELLA MERCURY-LADEN FORMADEHYDE LADEN GLUPHOSATE FILLED and not only that, the POLIO car drove thousands towards POLIO VILLE! Last but not least, they pretend it has nothing to do with their wish to make a commission, as if they are selling you these faulty, dangerous cars out of the goodness of their hearts.
Imagine going through this gauntlet when one of your children has been grievously harmed in one of these cars, or worse, killed. Imagine living in Califronia, where if you don't buy one of these cars, your child can't even attend school. This is why Cathy is so tormented by this, and it's why all of us are. Those of you who haven't had a child young enough for the dr in 25 years have no idea. God Save us all from the goodness of the VaccinePusherCult.
Posted by: WhenWillItEnd KylesMom | July 16, 2017 at 03:39 PM
Michelle you and everyone on here know how mad they all are.This is what they said to my wife and I when we refused the mumps shot for G this was after the MMR and within 10seconds of being in a room with him anyone on the planet would know he wasnt right - Taz comes to mind.
The allopathic quack said but if you refuse the mumps vaccine he could catch mumps which could leave him sterile and he would never be able to have a family? - by this time he` was on her desk walking all over her paper work having inspected the contents of the paper bin after tipping it on the floor and with my wife in hot on his toes - I said do you honestly think that him having a family is really such a big concern for us? we never got an answer ..quack ! quack!
Thanks Cathy always good to read .
Pharma for Prison
Posted by: Angus Files | July 16, 2017 at 02:12 PM
I just took both my sons to their yearly physical last week and at both appointments the nurse and our pediatrician were pushing me to get them more vaccines. They are 16 and 14, unfortunately, they have had all their shots. Noah's ped absolutely knows how he developed autism and my thoughts on vaccines. It's amazing to me that they still do this. I proudly read the last EOB paper that stated in capitalized letters to shame me, MOTHER REFUSES VACCINES. Yes I do. For years I didn't refuse all the vaccines they pushed on us at the "well child" visits and that is why Noah has autism! So I am a proud "refusenick".
Posted by: Michelle A Wandrack | July 16, 2017 at 12:05 PM
Reminder to all that some states (all?) have exemptions to these sports physicals. In CA, a parent can simply write a letter to the school principal stating that they do not consent to a physical exam for their child, per CA Education Code 49451. Of course, the schools do not make this exemption known to parents...parents must learn about it for themselves.
Teaching our children to challenge any form of "required/forced" medicine is a must, as it is increasing every day, and if we all don't begin to challenge, rebel against, and refuse such tyrannical intrusions into our lives, they aren't going to stop or be reversed.
Two such examples our family has experienced involve the dentist and optometrist. We were "fired" as patients, after 22 years, because we would not consent to dental x-rays every 2 years. For a couple years prior to being fired, I suggested they allow us to sign a waiver stating that we did not consent to x-rays every 2 years, and that sufficed. Then, we were told that they would no longer accept such waivers because their insurance "required" that their patients be x-rayed every 2 years. Thankfully, we found another dentist who permits us to choose if/when we want to expose ourselves to radiation. Additionally, this health-minded dentist does not use mercury amalgams in her office, and she has many other safe and healthful practices in place that our previous dentist did not.
More recently, our longtime optometrist retired. He always allowed us to choose what we did and did not want done during eye exams. When he retired, our files were transferred to another local practice with a few optometrists. At this new practice, we must comply with some new eye test, which is $40 out of pocket (not the point, just including this fact), or we will not be seen. Of course, it is "perfectly safe", and, it allows them to "see" if you have a number of other health conditions. I told the office manager I was not interested to know if I have a number of other health conditions, rather, I simply wanted a traditional eye exam to see if my glasses prescription was still the same. I also mentioned that, on principle, I would not give them business if they were going to require any treatment or procedure, as that is unethical. I was told the same excuse that I had heard from our former dentist, that their insurance company "now requires" that their patients consent to this eye test, even though patients' insurance companies do not cover it. Apparently, these dentists and optometrists, and no doubt a growing number of other types of doctors, refuse to stand up to insurance companies to protect their ethical duty to ensure informed consent and to prioritize and protect the doctor-patient relationship. Pathetic, unethical, and inexcusable.
It is never too soon to educate our children about the dangers and coercion involved in all types of doctor appointments, and to always investigate exemptions for any of the growing number of medical "requirements", be they school physicals, dental x-rays, eye tests, vaccines, or whatever else they are trying to impose and inflict on us. We must also teach our children that there is always the option to refuse. It may mean forgoing a certain activity or job, but that may be the choice that needs to be made.
Thanks, as always, Cathy, for sharing your family's experiences with us so we all may learn and benefit.
Posted by: Laura Hayes | July 16, 2017 at 11:40 AM
Thanks so much Cathy for this timely piece as the kids and I get ready for the annual ritual of the 'wellness' visit. We have grown wiser but more on our guard this round since the usual doctor whom we really like, has taken a personal leave. Warms my heart to feel how well your wisdom has spread to your kids. Blessings to you and the family.
Posted by: nocposts | July 16, 2017 at 11:01 AM
We're also looking forward to our yearly allopathic doctor visit required by the school. After the hard sell on vaccines, attestation procedure for refusal, and just plain old dirty looks I dread this yearly ritual and focus on getting what I need while not losing my temper with the doctor or her staff. Hopefully we'll get through without incident.
On the bright side, in between thick science fiction novels this summer, my son got bored and read an old copy of Brian Jepson's "Changing the Course of Autism" that was kicking around and now has corroborated what I've been telling him for years. It's important for my teenager since he doesn't always trust what he's been told. I am over 30 after all, and the news media is teaching him the opposite views. Finally, he understands something my parents did not teach me - you have a choice in the matter, be careful, there's no second chance, and those people in the doctor's office are selling stuff. The more they sell, the more money they make, kind of like a tire shop (nothing against tire shops, I like going there).
Posted by: kws | July 16, 2017 at 09:54 AM
So happy it went well for you. I was just talking with a friend the other day who was being bullied about the HPV vaccine for her son. The nurse told her son he was going to get warts on his private parts if he did not get the vaccine. Scare tactics!
Posted by: 4Bobby | July 16, 2017 at 09:30 AM