John Oliver's Vulgar Treatment of Vaccine Injured and Their Families
Dachel Wake Up: WaPo Pushes Autism Genetics in New Video

From Hell to HOPEISM

Brandon BW
NOTE: We all know autism warrior parents. I know few women who are as strong as Michelle Guppy, from Texas.  Her son Brandon has severe autism and a life threatening seizure disorder that wreaks havoc on his body and the entire family's day to day - no, moment to moment - life.  She invited me to share this post from her personal blog and I am proud to do so.   Please pop over to her blog and leave a comment there, won't you? And thank you Michelle.


Of being a bubble-wrapped blueberry... Violet7

By Michelle Guppy

This writing won't be for those who go through life with rose-colored glasses.

It certainly isn't for those who "celebrate" National Autism Awareness Month.

It is for those who dare to take the time to read about the reality that is life with vaccine injury.

Life with autism...  
(Which for the majority, is life with vaccine injury.)

Which for the majority of those I know, is very much the title of my blog in being a lifelong journey from hell to HOPEISM.

I want to share about a brief visit I had with one such warrior mom who I will not identify...

I have to share it because the reality of her life needs to be known because it represents the reality of so very many in this autism community.  The reality of  our lives that is rarely shown because if it were to be rated as a movie, it would have a "graphic violence" warning.  The reality of our lives is so far from what is portrayed, how we actually live, it's pathetic.  That so many like this mom are in every community, is a horrific tragedy of epic proportions.

And yes, I'll say it.

It's a tragedy that overshadows the holocaust.

I do realize that what I'm sharing here, is but the tip of a very large iceberg in how so many of us must live.  As bad as what I've seen, experienced, or know of is, there are those who live with much worse.  How much worse?  That they would murder their children rather than live one more day with no help and no hope that help will ever come.  That they would rather commit suicide because death is kinder than life.  The iceberg of an entire generation of severely affected adults with autism (vaccine injury) will sink this country when the collision comes of when they are left to the state after their parents die or simply cannot care for them any longer.

I was just so moved by the stark reality of what I saw in how this warrior mom must live that I cried on and off the rest of the day.  Not in pity of her, but for the situation she is in.  She is a fighter.  She deserves such enormous respect.  It is the situation that moved me.  The all-too-familiar situation of those who care for adults with autism who are bigger and stronger than they are.

I went to her house to pick up some supplies that she didn't need - and after a brief hello as I'm checking on my son in the car and she's checking on her son in the house - she showed me her new outfit.

Her son, like so very many, has behavior outbursts and meltdowns and at times pretty significant aggression.  Like so many of us her house is adorned with patches from holes knocked in the walls.  For some, it's from kicks or punches from innocent adults who have no communication.  No way to express hurt, frustration, chronic inflammatory illness, or any number of things that vaccine injury or "autism" has triggered.   My house is adorned with many such patches from holes in the walls from where my son fell because of violent seizures.   A few weeks ago we were inaugurated with our "first".   Our first hole in the wall that he actually kicked.  It was late at night and instead of our son being able to read a book or watch tv if he wasn't tired - he laid there repeatedly kicking the wall.

(please ask us if we thought about disciplining him to not do that)

You see autism first hand even walking up to her house.  The glass pane on her front door is covered in tape from a meltdown.  I keep mentally thinking that I want to have my husband go replace the window for her, but then he's still got a few holes in our home to patch.  What makes me so sad in that, is how I know we can't help her because we don't have the money to.  There are so many things we need to do that we can't.  It's always like that.  It is us helping each other.  Or at least wishing we could. With few exceptions, no one around us in our family, our church, our community seem to get that.  Maybe if we wore dirty ragged torn clothes and lived on a street corner someone would finally notice our need for help.  Too bad our need isn't that obvious.   On the surface, we're just like any other typical family.  The "disability" in our life nothing that at a quick glance stands out.  Many, like this warrior friend of mine, live as I participate in my exercise class....  The "suffer in solitude and silence" mode in the back corner of the room.

For many, their suffering is very much silent.  For fear.  Fear that though they are doing everything in their power to help their child, someone will judge them and make them out to be the bad guy.  Threaten to take their child away, as if there's a better place for them out there!  Let's not blame an entire system that has failed our kids, let's blame the parent.  I was a victim of that in how I dared to share bloody pictures of the aftermath of my sons seizures.  Instead of anyone offering to help me figure out what caused them (or who - pharma) I was turned in to Adult Protective Services for sharing that reality of what vaccines did to my son so that others would know how to avoid that happening to their son.

Every time I go to her house and see her front door, I think how it is her church, her family, her neighbors who should rally to fix that door for her.  But sadly, much like when my husband was abruptly laid off from his job, it is our very own community who rallies for us and who help us despite needing help themselves.  In our case, a GoFundMe was set up where people who had no business giving anything because they were as broke as me - gave what they could.

Every.One.Of.Us. need a GoFundMe for something in our lives with autism.

(please suggest we seek state services/assistance for our loved one with autism)

How this friend keeps a sense of humor about her is beyond me.  I admire her, and so many just like her so very much.  Warriors living with such extremes in their children, never knowing if one moment will be a smile or a smack in the face.  Never knowing if the day will be yet another trek through hell or the HOPEISM of as good a day as we can hope to get despite all our children must endure.

Sometimes in my War Room I have a one-sided argument with God in how we are told that there is nothing we experience on earth that Jesus hasn't already endured.  How he knows our pain because he's been there too.   Unless he's cured, in one decade my son will have suffered with vaccine injury longer than Jesus was alive.  Jesus' torturous beaten and bloody walk carrying his cross eventually ended.  For so many like me, that walk for us and our children will not end in this life.  Jesus' torture, his pain, ended fairly quickly.  For many children, they will have to endure for a lifetime.

Like so many of my friends, this one is single.  Her husband left her with a very significantly affected son who is taller and stronger than she is.  Like so many of my friends, she's been in a crisis situation and has had to call the police or ambulance during yet another meltdown that our kids have that is triggered by who knows what... It can be as complicated as pain they can't communicate or that you did some sequence out of order and they just couldn't handle it.  Whatever the cause, the outcome is always the same.  Police arrive and the only help they can give is to handcuff a severely affected adult with autism.  Which makes things worse, not better.  Our kids have been tasered, and in a few instances, shot.  Some suggest taking them to the hospital which is hilarious because there aren't even any hospitals that are properly equipped to handle the complex needs our kids have.  There is no 9-1-1 for autism.  There is no sensory friendly "hospital" for autism.  There is simply no tangible, appropriate help for the brand of autism that most I know have.

For this mom, all there is, is bubble-wrap.

And a whole lot of faith.

And humor.

When she showed me her new dress, for a split second I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

I did laugh.

It was hysterical in a most horrific kind of way.

A grown woman, a dear friend, reduced to having to make a body shield out of bubble-wrap to protect herself.  Bouncing off a wall would be much better than being obliterated by it.  Her bubble-wrap dress was complete with duck-tape seams and velcro to attach her phone to it in case she needed to call the non-help 9-1-1 help.

She's pretty darn talented.  This bubble-wrap dress had a crew neck opening, tank top straps, then went down to about her knees with duck tape side seams.  I wanted to ask her if she could make me one with Camo-tape seams for one day if I need such protection.

And maybe some princess seams because, "Does this bubble-wrap make my butt look too big?"


If you don't live this life, I want you to read those last few paragraphs again.

I want you to fully digest that in a society where we have the technology and intelligence and resources to do most anything - we have left mothers like this one with no help, no resources, and very often no hope that things will ever change for them.  Society has given her nothing except being reduced to making herself a bubble-wrap protective shield of a dress for in case her son has yet another meltdown and through no fault of his, takes it out on her.

With all of our American Red Cross and compassion and help for everyone in every other country or human situation, what we've told this mom is that all we can muster for her is bubble-wrap.

I told her she needs to patent that design because there are thousands of mothers out there who need that dress, or who will before they know it.

She could sell them online.  Custom made with your choice color of duck tape for the seams.

With the epidemic numbers of autistic adults who have violent meltdowns, she would be rich.

Allow that to sink in.

This friend is pretty petite in size, so when I noticed before she modeled her bubble-wrap dress that her bottom half was a bit - bigger - I figured finally she was able to have time for herself and actually eat something.

But then she showed me her other design for everyday wear.

The bubble-wrap dress mainly for during a meltdown.

The shorts for daily wear in case her son shoves too hard or something.  She took the waterproof pads that come with deliveries of incontinence supplies, and stuffed several layers in her pants all around her hips.  If she was forcefully shoved, at least if she fell her hips wouldn't shatter.  She would just bounce.

I want society to read that again.

What other parent in any other disability is reduced to bubble-wrap dresses and puffy pants?


No other.

We had a good laugh about her new wardrobe, but make no mistake, it isn't funny.  We can laugh because we live it.  It's the only defense we have against insanity.

When I left her house, I didn't think I had any room left in my heart for another scar, but that visit put one there.  I cried all the way home for her, for so many others like her.  I cried that one day it could be me being reduced to wearing bubble-wrap to protect against my son.

The worst I've experienced so far was a hand or arm too close to his teeth when he was mad about something or hurting.  When trying to prevent him from hurting himself, at times I've been inadvertently slapped.

The injustice against us and our kids in these situations is nothing short of horrific.

I've had friends be out in public and suddenly their adult son went from happy to meltdown in a split-second.  Instead of help from police called by perhaps well meaning bystanders to help them, they were punished, arrested.  Absolutely no awareness from those whose job it is to help. Making a horrific situation become nothing short of a living nightmare.

I rarely take my son out in public because of the fear of what has happened to others, happening to me.

My friend shouldn't have had to even think about making a bubble-wrap dress and puffy pants making her look like the "Blueberry Girl" in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

She needed to have a list of phone numbers of people, of adult men who are trained in autism-care who she could call to come protect her and her son during a meltdown.

But where is the ambulance for that?

Where are the trained volunteers for that in each community?

No where.

Where are the short-term crisis centers where parents at the end of their rope could bring their children for behavioral intervention while they can catch their breath?

No where.

To even attempt to do that for every community would financially break cities.

Would financially collapse our country.

So who do we have to turn to?

Our families who give to most everything else except to the person in their own family who needs the help.

Our churches who send mission teams to every other country except for the autism community in their own back yard.  Yes, they may "know about" Jesus, but perhaps we need to realize the equally important aspect of them actually "witnessing" the hands and feet of Jesus...

Our society who would rather pretend we aren't there or call the cops or CPS on us instead of taking the time to care, comfort, or collaborate with others in helping.

There are few exceptions, and for that we are thankful if we've been the recipient of such blessings.

But for most, help is few and far between.

If at all.

For the most part what I see is that this mom has a bubble-wrap dress, puffy-pants, and still a taped up front door window.

And as I laugh hysterically at the picture she sent me of her modeling her new wardrobe, with the smile that shows both grace and strength despite the adversity, -- all I can think of is what the helmet she'll make next will look like.

Because we all know, insurance or medicaid sure won't pay for a real one for her.

Visit Michelle's blog From Hell to HOPEISM here.



Hello Michelle and Brandon . Mentioning the unmentionables ,family situations can not be left abandoned "out of sight,out of mind" .Learning disabilities service provision has always been a " cinderella service"ie laston the list for the share of resources . The behaviours you describe are still too much of a "culture shoch" for people ,public and professionals,well meaning but who without specific training wil retreat into avoidance mode because they don't know how to help.
Get specific with your hopelist.People are usually kind hearted and generous with their money and time but they need an itemised list of objectives to work towards ie replacement safety glass for the front door and a joiner to ft it.
suggest getting any out of control behavioural episodes recorded on camera-for service providers to realise the risks of physical injury to you both. With the right multidisiplinary team work in place , good things happen . Be specific about what you need to stay safe and well and you are more likely to get the help you need to stay safe .Ask for nothing specific usually ends up getting more of nothing ? If ye need help ,and ye shout help,ye'll get nae help, so if ye need help dont't shout help shout "FIRE!" THEN YE'LL GET HELP . Aye ready aye laughing ! hope is a promise!

Tim Bolen

I know it is no solace to you that we have picked up momentum into solving the autism issue, for your days are not fun. The anti-vaccine issue has grown worldwide. Just two years ago few openly made the connection - now the voices are everywhere.

I wish there were ways to shorten the process so your personal family autism issues could be, if not solved completely, at least signifiantly mitigated.

I commented on the front of Kent Heckelively's "Help me END Autism Now!" article on BolenReport with the following:

“Note from Tim Bolen – Autism (Severe Vaccine Damage) is the elephant in the room no one in authority wants to talk about. Why? It is too horrible to contemplate – especially to admit that vaccines did this, so, as Kent, and millions of parents, and grand-parents, have found out, there is NO OFFICIAL EFFORT, WHAT-SO-EVER, to cure, mitigate, repair, or even ACKNOWLEDGE that there are ways to turn vaccine-damage around…”

Michelle and friends - we are working as fast as we can, with the best, toughest, most effective communicators we can find...

We are NOT going to stop until we win. I promise.

Tim Bolen

Aimee Doyle

Why not send these stories of severe autism to each member of the IACC? Along with links to video and photos that vividly demonstrate the horror.

How about also sending these stories to ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network) - those self-advocates should know what life is really like with severe autism. After all, they claim to care about everyone on the spectrum. The members of ASAN are always saying they understand autism better than the parents of kids with autism - so it's time for them to prove it.

And, while I'm on a roll, how about blitzing the media and your members of Congress.



Please, read this. Then re-evaluate the hate speech you mask in humor.

Laura Hayes

Thank you, Michelle, for continuing to expose the harsh and horrific realities of what is being done to our children via addition to the harsh and horrific reality that help is sparse, if existent at all.

I shared this AoA link to your article with my email group today, along with another story of yet another child harmed here in CA as a result of SB277. Long story short, Mom allowed her previously-unvaccinated 3 year-old son to be vaccinated so he could go to preschool. In short order, he has developed tics, possibly also seizures, and is losing his language.

Please let us all continue to educate other parents...and teens...and young adults...and our elderly be VACCINE REFUSERS. Once allowed in, vaccines can't be retracted or deactivated. It is just a matter of time before the manifestations of vaccine injury begin. That is the one and only area of vaccination that is guaranteed...i.e. they have a zero failure rate when it comes to inducing damage, illness, disability, and/or premature death.


I am rarely at a loss for words, but I want to tell Michelle and Kim that I'm glad I read this this morning. I shared it and will not soon forget what you wrote, Michelle. I hope this goes far and wide.


I have considered getting the padded suit that dog trainers wear to protect them from dog bites because my son has recently started biting; my arms and fingers are black from bite mark bruises. One time he bit my fingers so hard and would not let go; I seriously thought I was going to pull bloody stumps out of his mouth.

Just last week, two people refused to work with my son anymore (our in-home therapist and his respite worker) because both have been bitten and head-butted in the face, and are afraid to work with him.

He hasn't been going to school because they can't handle him either.

My son is 12 and only 70 pounds--I'm terrified of what's it going to be like when he hits puberty. I already can't handle him and I'm not getting any younger either.

My son has private medical insurance and Medi-Cal, yet we still spent over $140K last year in out of pocket medical costs.

I just don't see how this is sustainable physically or financially for either our household or for society when the tsunami of autistic/vaccine damaged children reach puberty and age out of services. And what happens when we (the parents) die?


I left a comment on Mrs Guppy's blog however I don't think it registered? What I said was this is BRILlIANT! These moms are the greatest unsung heroes of the age! I hope one day they will be heard! I hope one day they get the help they need! I hope their children's pain ends!

I practice hopeism.

(Ok I added a little bit here, hopefully, wink, wink, Mrs Guppy will read this. She is my hero)!

Christina D.

And what is the congress most worried about, regarding the healthcare bill? The Opioid Epidemic and building more facilities and places for them. I live in Houston - 4th largest city in America. There is a handful of places for adults on the spectrum (expensive), but to get in they cannot be aggressive (or they will be kicked out).

Amy Rhodes

Thank you for posting this! As I sit here in tears, this reminds me of my own situation. The only difference is I have a daughter, not a son. And I guess I'm one of the lucky ones: her father is still around and helps me take care of her-( and the house).
As I read this, I am reminded of how, when she was in middle school- CPS was called- not once, not twice, but 3 times! And by the school no less! Just because her hair was oily from a new medication & the school "did not think she should be as severe as she is"! Are you kidding me?
I have endured all of the blame from those in our own family who think it's somehow my fault, even though they know better. I live in a state that can only offer meds as help. The only "hospitals" for autism are mental institutions. Tell me again why are we treating these people as mentally ill? It's a brain disorder, not a mental problem! I am terrified of what may happen to her when I die or can't take care of her anymore.
I sometimes cry because it's all I can do. My co-workers don't even ask me "how I'm doing today" because I may just burst into tears (seemingly to them for no reason). And don't mention vaccine or you just might become the devil! Yes, I am one of those "evil" parents who refuse to vaccinate my other daughter out of fear she too will become autistic.
Thanks for posting this, & remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! GOD BLESS MOMMY (& DADDY) WARRIORS!!!!!!!!!

Hans Hitten

Glyphosate is in the Vaccines !!!

"Glyphosate: powerful chemical weapon of transnational power"
"A crime against humanity"

It's no casualty that Agent Orange and Glyphosate have been used in two wars led by the United States, and both are produced by the multinational Monsanto. Agent Orange was used during the Vietnam War as a weapon of war and glyphosate is used in Colombia for the same purpose.

The inhumanity of the Vietnam War sparked global outrage and a great solidarity movement was established which demanded an end to the U.S. occupation. Now it seems as if the time of social movements against the war have suddenly stopped, because similar gestures of solidarity are not seen in the case of Colombia.

Hans Hitten

10 most evil people in the world today who lie about science, pharmaceuticals and GMOs


#1. Imagine how many years you would serve in prison if the U.S. government caught you putting a deadly pig virus called circovirus in a vaccine meant to help prevent children and babies from getting a rather benign virus that simply causes diarrhea?
What if ten of those same children and babies injected with the poisoned vaccine containing the deadly pig virus died from intussusception, where their bowels folded in on themselves (like a telescope) and caused a fatal blockage?
Is that science terrorism? Would they call it premeditated manslaughter, involuntary manslaughter or insanity?

There is a doctor still practicing medicine today who does exactly that, and he’s made millions from his patent of it. His name is Paul Offit and the vaccine he concocted in his laboratory using two strains of deadly circovirus to treat rotavirus is called Rotateq.
He works at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. It’s called CHOP for short and for good reason – the insidious Offit is there injecting children with deadly foreign diseases for profit.

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