The Autism Beatitudes
By Cathy Jameson
In trying to hold tightly to my usual hopefully-ever-after spirit, this post was created with the warrior parent and their beautiful child in mind. These parents and their children have shaped many of us into the people we are today. May they continue to inspire us to do more, to do better, and to always believe.
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What happened to my son didn’t have to happen. But, it did. And here I am ten years later still hoping he makes leaps and bounds progress but am settling for baby steps and try, try again moments. While I myself try, try again to come to grips with reality, I make a point to pray, pray, pray. As a life-long Catholic, some may think that praying should be easy for me. But sometimes, it isn’t.
For years, I’ve had a hard time saying the Beatitudes. Read during the Easter season, which runs smack dab in the middle of autism “awareness” month (and continues through to Pentecost on May 15th), the Beatitudes can be found in the Gospels. Eight of them, Jesus spoke of them as blessings, specifically eternal blessings. That should bring me some sort of peace, or at least begin to humble me, but as I begin to say and pray them, my heart hardens. Instead of concentrating on the contemplative prayer, my mind wanders. I think about Ronan’s struggles. I remember the physical pain that he’s in. I recall his many hardships. I recall my own, too. When I try to refocus, my thoughts are invaded with sadness, worry, and frustration.
Prayer should lift me up, not bring me down. But bring me down is exactly what the Beatitudes did the last time I read them.
Drawn by Ronan’s little sister, Izzy.
The Beatitudes aren’t the best prayer for me to say, to reflect on, or to go to for comfort. I’m not going to stop praying altogether, but I think that I’ll forgo reading them for now.
Since I have a hard time using the Beatitudes as a prayer, I wondered if I could write a different version: an autism version. Maybe I’ll be better able to say it if what was written was more relatable to my family’s past experience and to our current situation. I didn’t look on the web to see if someone else has created this sort of version, and I don’t think it in poor taste to offer a different version of a prayer that so many here might be able to relate to, so here are The Autism Beatitudes according to me:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for the loss you feel is valid. Be it of the typical childhood you imagined your child would have or of the brighter future you’d hoped that your child would someday live, that loss is justifiable. As hard as it may have been to come to grips with it, no one has the right to judge you for feeling the way you do, nor do they have the right to downplay how very much the loss impacts your child or you or your family.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they have never been sadder. That sadness isn’t always temporary, and neither is the anger that you may feel, too.
Blessed are the meek, for once they find their voice, if they have not already, they will never be silent again.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for their efforts, their courage and their honor has not gone unnoticed. It may not always be respected, but that righteousness has been a driving force that has inspired others.
Blessed are the merciful, for their gracious spirit is felt among the meek, the downtrodden, and even the heartless. We know that the meek will one day be heard. We know that the downtrodden will find a way to rise above. And the heartless? Well, it may not happen in our lifetime, but eventually, I do believe that the heartless will be held accountable for their actions as well as their inactions.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for the impossible endeavors that their children have learned to accomplish fills their minds and hearts with incredible joy. That joy may only last only a short while, but while it’s present, it gives the pure in heart strength, courage, and hope to keep going.
Blessed are the peacemakers, like the educational representatives who make help our children get closer to reaching their goals, like the nurses who comfort instead of question, like the therapists who walk with us and never against us. Those peacemakers transcend a peace and a calm and replaces other emotions—like frustration and despair—that have been brought on by people who can help but who are unwilling to help.
Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you. Blessed especially are you who stand up to the naysayers, the deniers, and the internet trolls and bullies! As frustrating as it can be, stay the course. Tell your story. Share your experience. Keep that conversation going for little by little, you are changing the world.
And now, rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in Heaven!
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My child and I are walking down a path I never thought I’d be walking. It hasn’t been an easy path to take, but I walk it with him and for him. As we go, I promise to pray - for my son, for other children like him, and for the parents. Through the hardship, the pain and the frustration, we try to live life fully. We show the rest of the world how to love unconditionally. We do everything we possibly can to keep moving forward. Moving forward. It can be a struggle, but with prayer—and hope and perseverance, we try to always keep moving forward.
Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.
Wow. Wow. Wow. What beautiful and thoughtful comments - these were just what I needed to see first thing on a Monday morning. I appreciate each and every one of them.
Thank you.
xo, Cat
Posted by: Cathy Jameson | May 02, 2016 at 09:02 AM
VACCINES CAUSE AUTISM
Nicely done Cathy, nicely done.
This message of hurt caused by vaccines and peace gotten from God and his son Jesus is truly uplifting.
I know that God hears your prayers and every other person who has prayed about the injury that their child and family has endured. I know that he has heard mine and is answering them.
All I can tell you is that your prayer will be answered I know that for a fact I do.
You and your son will be made whole and so will my child and I and not in the too distant future.
I truly believe in God and his son Jesus Christ as my lord and savior and I have called on him to help me in this quest in his sons name and thus I cannot and will not fail.
I seek nothing for myself and will accept nothing as my promise and he knows that.
Just remember that I told you this on this night so that when we finally meet and smile I can reiterate my prayer and promise.
I will then tell you what the other prayer was too. Guess what? God is answering that as well.
We are getting there Cathy.
VACCINES CAUSE AUTISM
Posted by: Willie | May 02, 2016 at 05:10 AM
It helps to remember that God did not cause autism. Doctors playing God developed vaccines and chose to ignore the side effects. God did not tell the CDC to take Pharma money and wear blinders. God did not tell us to take heavy metal out of the earth to get shiny things, or to create crowded communities and ignore common sense about waste, spreading disease. God did not tell us to clearcut forests, breaking the earth's lungs and balance, ridding us of birds who would have kept insects at bay. . God did not tell us to create pesticides to make up for what we lost with the birds. God did not do these things. Humans with no respect for nature and natural law, forgetting to love each other, created all these things. Greedy, arrogant humans created these things. And I think even at the time of Jiesis unbalance was caused by lead and by metals and by crowding and by hoarding land and the powerful taking from the people to enrich themselves. The beatitudes are Jesus way of saying "i see and I care" and I would love to know the real translation for " blessed are " for I do not think it implies that we should not fight back just that our sorrow is shared. Beautiful inspiring article as always Cathy! And yes your loss is real. And the perpetrators I hope will have to experience hell as a life with autism like suffering--except without the mitigating support of a parents deep love . And our kids will experience heaven as a glorious place where all their lost gifts are restored and they get to share them with their families .
Posted by: Carolyn McDonough | May 02, 2016 at 04:02 AM
Thank-you. Your new Autism Beatitudes, and all the comments, truly ARE a Blessing! May I suggest a small book by Thich Nhat Hanh, who is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who now lives in Plum Village, France.
It's called "Jesus and Buddha as Brothers", and it lays out both Jesus's and Buddhas teachings side-by-side, and shows how very remarkably similar they are. Reading some Buddhism has helped me greatly. Buddhism is strong on the ACCEPTANCE of our lives. It's helped me, and I offer this in that Spirit. Thank-you. And say hello to your Autism Warrior Ronan!
Posted by: Bill | May 01, 2016 at 05:51 PM
Cat, you have put into words so beautifully the many emotions we autism parents go through with our children. The inspiration and support you write in this article is very much appreciated and I will keep your thoughts with me every day.
Posted by: Gayle | May 01, 2016 at 01:57 PM
As my father used to say to me despite my mothers strong disapproval, " don't believe in God believe in yourself" I find myself jumping between the two these days.
Great article
MMR RIP
Posted by: Angus Files | May 01, 2016 at 12:48 PM
So beautiful. This movement of parents and their vaccine injured children is the most spiritual experience I have ever had.
Posted by: kapoore | May 01, 2016 at 11:57 AM
So beautiful and so true. Thank you, Cat for saying this so perfectly as I can relate so much. I know we are not alone on this path.
"My child and I are walking down a path I never thought I’d be walking. It hasn’t been an easy path to take, but I walk it with him and for him. As we go, I promise to pray - for my son, for other children like him, and for the parents. Through the hardship, the pain and the frustration, we try to live life fully. We show the rest of the world how to love unconditionally. We do everything we possibly can to keep moving forward. Moving forward. It can be a struggle, but with prayer—and hope and perseverance, we try to always keep moving forward."
Posted by: Teresa Conrick | May 01, 2016 at 10:14 AM
"blessed are the comfort givers" .. which would my small way of bestowing a blessing on you Cathy.
Posted by: Bob Moffit | May 01, 2016 at 09:13 AM
Amen!
Posted by: Someone | May 01, 2016 at 08:44 AM
Beautifully done. Blessings to you and the many parents and autistic children who struggle with their burdens. Your autism beatitudes give comfort and hope.
Posted by: William H. Gaunt | May 01, 2016 at 08:35 AM
A wise soul once told me it's ok to be angry with God, even stamp your foot. You can do that with someone you love and who loves you in return.
Posted by: Norman Roberts | May 01, 2016 at 08:23 AM
As a once devout Catholic I found your article very moving Cathy. I left the church in my 20's and am now 50 years later still moulded by my lost faith. But I do not regret my decision Cathy. I fully sympathise with your difficulty. I ask myself daily, as my child is seriously ill, to whom can I pray for comfort, for solace, for acceptance. I can no longer pray in the old way but .....I fervently still believe we each and everyone of us has a guiding Spirit, a Helper to whom we can talk, an Angel if you like. It works for me Cathy. We need someone to talk with every day about our fears, our anger, our resentments and our failures. May you be blessed Cathy.
Posted by: Patricia | May 01, 2016 at 07:40 AM