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Turning 21 With Autism

Mia 21Note: For a glaring example of the angry denial hurled at us, see the screenshot of a FB page exchange below from a reader. I posted something very similar to this on our AofA page. You'll shake your head - she claims to be an autism Mom.... Perhaps a Mama troll....

By Kim Stagliano

My daughter is 21 today. She ages out into a world wholly unprepared for the reality of autism in ANY form - high, low or in between.

I had a non-medicated birth to keep chemicals out of her body.  I refused every form of pain medication.   I hired a birth doula to make sure the nursing staff let me labor and deliver the way I chose.  I had a great OB who supported my decision.

Her pediatrician, whom I interviewed with great care, he who was so proud of his MENSA membership, then injected over 200 micrograms of mercury into her body before her 3rd birthday - and I had no idea. To me, vaccines were not a product to question. They were a given.  If anyone had told me there was danger I'd have laughed in his or her face. Sneered even.  I thought about safe laundry soap, cribs, car seats, paint, toys, I did not drink while nursing. Her pediatrician wiped out all of that with every "well" visit.

My "career" (such as it is) became predicated on her descent into autism. Today is a melancholy day for me - even though we celebrate her with joy and of course, GF cake. Few of us ever share this reality - it's hard to do.  Especially when you're thought of as Mother Teresa. I'm not. You don't have to be either. We're human.

At home, like so many of you, I quietly reflect on the assault on us, parents of vaccine injured kids. The hatred toward us for speaking out truth. The media's programmed evisceration of us, of the doctors who dare to speak out. The bloggers who deride us, deny our kids' very real plight with unbridled joy. The people with autism who instead of helping, turn their backs on their more impaired brothers and sisters.  And the most jarring? The fellow MOTHERS who scorn us and work against us. It's astounding, isn't it?

Happy Birthday to my beautiful daughter.

KIM

AofA post comment Mia B Day


House of Cards 200 pixelsKim Stagliano is Managing Editor of Age of Autism. Her new novel,  House of Cards; A All I Can Handle 50 pixel Kat Cavicchio romantic suspense is available from Amazon in all e-formats now. Her memoir, All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa is available in hardcover, paperback and e-book.  Last year she co-edited 101 Tips for Girls with Autism, with Tony Lyons. Available now. 101 Tips for the Parents of Girls with Autism 9781629145082

Comments

Anita D

The sad thing is her brilliant hfa son is very very likely to have extremely damaged children when they get the vastly increased schedule. It is a warning. My child's grandad is a brilliant aspie with a masters in math. He got early shots In nyc and grew up in a poor area using coal and near Merc emitting steel mills. Low social skills but enough to make a lot of money and be successful. He worked at NIH and made sure his son got all the vaccines even new ones in the early 60s. That guy was my exhusband. Also brilliant but much more severe social skills deficits couldn't finish high school but managed to make a career in high tech Til he couldn't cope any more and ditched me and his career (I did not then understand he was HFA). Our son got the hep b at birth rhogham and flu shots prenatally and other shots Til at 14 mos he just broke. he got kicked out of daycare as he now zoned out and we stopped his shots at that time when someone bravely told me why he broke. It was a long sleepless, loss filled and expensive journey . But by the miracle of Dan Drs and therapies and gfcf and gen ren all of you he is now nearly recovered but he knows that no child of his gets shots and I have tried to warn all the relatives. They all have this gene and they all have the pattern of an HFA grandparent or parent and more severely autistic child. My son escaped only because of the parents before me. This woman is an arrogant idiot Kim. You are kind and ethical and endure this crap to save those you can. Please know that most heed your warning and hope we can cure your daughters. Only a few idiots in denial act out this way. You rock Kim. Thank you for heroically speaking your truth.

Gayle

Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter Mia! My adult son just had a birthday and is in a day program with 20 young men-all with an autism diagnosis. Kim, I am right there with you!

Benedetta

Lemon juice hmmmm perhaps big Pharma are now out sourcing their trolls from - some foreign country?

Benedetta

LOL Lemon Juice!

Andrea

A . Franklin,
My heart goes out to you.

Birgit Calhoun

Happy Birthday! It's hard to put up with people who think they know it all. Those words coming from that person commenting will fly right back at her. Meanwhile nobody is any wiser for it. Autism is a difficult condition to deal with especially when the child ages out and has a whole adult life to look forward to which affects more the people caring for and about her.

The world is unfair. It is a cruel thing to have no support from the doctors who are supposed to help. In fact they know that "there is no need to try" doing something about it. But those frustrations must be even harder to take for those afflicted with autism. I know, I have had to deal with my son. The whole experience was a downward spiral. I am sorry you and all of us have to experience this.

Doctors, please, try harder to help and find a solution to, in my opinion, a man-made disorder! Learning helps. We must believe that eventually there will be enough learning to make us all better at finding solutions. The science has regressed into the dark ages.

a reader

@ Bob Moffitt. I appreciate your comments and undoubtably they are true and these people are some of the most annoying on a planet plentiful with annoying people. Thanks for your remarks though. I guess this is a difficult and lonely journey for everyone, it seems.

Bob Moffitt

@ reader .. you posted:

"So don't slam me. I don't appreciate it"

With all due respect .. I think you have misconstrued "who" Kim was speaking of when she posted:

"The people with autism who instead of helping, turn their backs on their more impaired brothers and sisters."

To anyone familiar with AoA .. I seriously doubt Kim was referring to you .. I believe she was referring to the very loud .. very influential .. well-known .. voices . such as .. Steve Silberman .. author of .. "Neurotribes: the legacy of autism and the future of neurodiversity" .. which has been described as "glorifying autism by exalting its gifts but failing to emphasize its handicaps, drawbacks and commorbities".

Unfortunately .. Mr Silberman is just one of many others who truly believe "autism is a gift" .. and .. THEY would probably disapprove of your comment .. "chelation was a miracle" .. which clearly indicates you are not among them.

a reader

With all due respect and the recognition that in my opinion this website does a really excellent job of investigating vaccine issues related to autism, I did take issue with the phrase about people with autism "turning their backs on their more impaired brothers and sisters" instead of helping. What? As a person with a diagnosis in the past of ASD, I felt slammed.
I think there has been a huge, unexplained rise in ASD and to me it is obviously environmental. However, there are some older adults around with some version of this and many people are quick to assert you have nothing in common with their kids, this generation. They rarely even ask you a question and mostly even in posts and articles here, seem very careful to separate their kids from other older people with a diagnosis of ASD. Not too cool. You obviously have not needed us. Then don't turn around and say we haven't helped you.
This group of parents has support groups and a huge network of other adults to give them information. That was not true before and though their kids may or may not be more impaired, it is a very different climate. By always saying how much worse things are for you as a group, you are ignoring this fact and the benefits of it.
Even if I can write a coherent letter, it does not mean that I haven't had really extreme issues (chelation for me was a miracle). I am living with my elderly father, on disability, and have no idea what comes next. So don't slam me. I don't appreciate it.

Dan E. Burns

Happy birthday Mia and Kim. It is your "birthday" too.

A. Franklin

Kim, thank you for your post. Today was a big milestone for my 20 year old son with autism. We just dropped him off at his first group home, and I am so full of emotions, thinking of his birth, his childhood, his reaction to 15 mo. vaccines, his first seizure last month, etc. God bless us, every one.

Kath

Ely has anger management issues.

Sandy

@Jenny Allan,you said it perfectly! The mothers who are doing everything in their power to paint autism as a fun, quirky way of being are dangerous for the autism population in general because the message they send is twisted! Don't forget to add to the list...Shannon Rosa, Kristina Chew, Jessica Wilson, MomNos...the list goes on. These attention seekers unfortunately live on social media daily and some of them multiple times a day so this is what unsuspecting people who read these blowhards really think autism is...a fun time. It is truly disturbing.

Jenny Allan

"And the most jarring? The fellow MOTHERS who scorn us and work against us. It's astounding, isn't it?"

Yes Kim....and Dorit Reiss, Emily Willingham and Alison Singer come to mind, all mothers themselves. Ms Singer has an autistic child and hedged her bets, getting single measles, mumps and rubella jabs for a younger sibling. Ex UK Prime Minister Tony Blair and wife Cherie, have coyly never told us whether son Leo (now 15) got an MMR vaccine or single jabs. We are entitled to draw our own conclusions regarding Leo Blair and the Singer child. All of these persons have worked hard to discredit any vaccine-autism links and vilify anyone, including parents, scientists and medical professionals who dare to express vaccine safety concerns.

As for the exotically named Ely De Aristizabal Sellers, who appropriately posted IDIOT after her name! - PLEASE don't waste your time and emotions on the likes of 'her'. Maybe she is a mother of an autistic son, but then again 'she' could be anyone, almost certainly a troll, but a mamatroll?

Please enjoy your lovely daughter's birthday celebrations, and wish her a happy birthday from me.
Love from Jennyxx

Visitor

You may not be Mother Teresa, but you are a superior mother Kim. Happy birthday Mia!

Betsy Black

So sorry Kim. I get so frustrated when people ask me what Andrew's "gift" is...like can he paint a city scape from memory, or play some Bach piece on the piano by ear, or remember what day November 5, 1997 was. No, he's not one of those Einstein kids with a smart but funny, quirky personality. Sending you hugs.

John Stone

Happy Birthday Mia!

Anne McElroy Dachel

"She ages out into a world wholly unprepared for the reality of autism in ANY form - high, low or in between."

Chilling words. And no one seems concerned that today we have to train police and fire fighters to deal with people with ASD. We suddenly have autism-friendly movies and "Sensitive Santas" and special storytimes at the public libray for autistic children. We've lost two generations to autism now. They're aging into adulthood with no place to go. Many thousands will follow.

Best wishes to Mia and her wonderful family! XOX

Bayareamom

Happy Birthday to your lovely daughter, Kim!

Grace Green

How does this woman know what her son might have achieved WITHOUT the brain damage? Everyone in my family for several generations has some degree of neurological disability, but our intellectual ability has declined with each generation. I think this proves the presence of environmental damage as well as genetic predisposition.
I can only hope for justice for us all in the next life, if not this one.

angus files

Sad these people are Kim. One similarity we all have and they will find again, and again, is that we wont be stopped from telling the truth, nor, are we afraid of telling the truth.

MMR RIP

barbaraj

Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter!

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