I’d slowly been able to put some pieces together, and because of how much time I was spending online, I became friends with other parents making these types of searches, too. Most everyone I met was in the U.S., but there were a few parents in other countries chiming in on some of the boards. That helped with the late-night reading I was doing. With how many of us were logging in, someone was always online willing to offer something useful to consider – a book, a website, a link to a journal, or a personal story to share. But, no matter what I read and was finally able to understand, something was missing. I had yet to satisfy the growing desire to sit down face-to-face with another mom who knew exactly what Ronan and I were going through.

It was a lonely, lonely world back then, and no one else in town had a child just like mine.

Or so I thought.

Since I was spending a lot of time on the message boards, I felt comfortable telling others about Ronan’s medical concerns. I also shared some of the struggles we were dealing with in trying to get him appropriate help. Some parents suggested I look to alternative providers. They said I should try to get recommendations for alternative providers from the people at the health food store. I discovered a small health food store in my town and started to bring a list of questions to the staff there. Mostly food and nutritional questions, they were able to steer me toward some books and helpful websites I hadn’t read. When I asked about alternative treatments, they suggested I check out a chiropractic doctor. Unfortunately, though, Ronan was getting sicker, and I tapped out of their resources. I felt lost all over again when that happened.

The two women I could go to without judgement at the health food store wanted nothing more than to see me be successful in helping Ronan, so they said, “Cat, you need to call Betsy. She knows a lot more than we do.” As much as I wanted to make that call, I hesitated. Already having spent months and months searching for help, Ronan had hit another regression. Things were bad, and I was not in a good place emotionally. No one, including the new team of university doctors we were referred to, could offer me any hope. I had become so discouraged that I didn’t think anyone could pull me out of the that funk I was in.

I tried not to make the call to Betsy, but each week that I waited for things to get better, I knew that I had to make the call. So, I did.  

I’ll never forget the day that I made that cold call to Betsy. It was in the fall of 2005. Nervous, hand sweating, voice shaking, I dialed her number. “Hello? Betsy? Hi, um, my name is Cathy Jameson. You don’t know me, but the ladies at the health food store said it would be okay to call. I hope it is okay, because I have a little boy with some serious digestive problems. Our doctors haven’t been helpful, and I don’t know where else to turn. Can you help me?”

Of course, she could.

Betsy told me about the challenges she faced. She told me about how difficult things were and how long and hard the road was to get proper help for her son. But she also told me that he was getting better and that I should not to lose hope. Betsy assured me that I was on the right path. I should continue to ask questions and to keep on going. Things weren’t going to be easy but it was going to be worth it – for Ronan and for me.

She was right.

That conversation gave me confidence. It reminded me to stay strong and to push for what I thought needed to be done. It also reminded me that I should never doubt my mother’s intuition ever again. I knew that we needed to take some drastic measures, but had delayed making that happen.

After reassessing Ronan’s needs and questioning the doctors we were taking him too, I knew that we needed to make some changes. We had not been pleased with our team of university doctors. They had already dismissed Ronan’s previous vaccine reactions and were ignoring Ronan’s current symptoms. It was clear that they were ill informed and working from a wait-and-see standpoint. Ronan needed help and now but not from that team. So, I confidently switched providers.

After making the switch, we made some changes again to Ronan’s diet and cleaned up our home environment. Ronan made some gains. He was growing. He looked better, and he seemed happier. That’s because he was happier. I have Betsy to thank for that. Taking me out of some of the darkest days of my life, she was one of the brightest lights I’ve encountered on this journey. I consider her an angel on earth and know that the conversation we had couldn’t have been more perfectly timed.  

For many of us, our Yahoo group and message board days are long over, but we still keep in touch elsewhere. Through Facebook, through emails, and through private messages, we are still very active. Our exchanges still have us sharing titles of books, websites, links to journals, and have us retelling our personal stories. I know we will continue to do that, too. With the rate of autism closer to 1 in 45 today, more parents will need support than ever before. Thankfully, so many of us “veteran” parents are more than ready to help.  

I hope Ginger found that one mom she was looking for. What a reunion that will be! Ginger’s little boy has come a long way, and I imagine she’d love to tell her biomed angel all about it. I don’t get to connect as much with my biomed angel because of how busy life has gotten, but I know that Betsy will always be just a private message away:

Hey Betsy, I have a quick question...

Betsy! I love that picture of you two…he’s looking great!

Hey Betsy. Thanks for being you. xo, Cat

It’s been ten years since I was encouraged to reach out to a stranger across town. Those ten years have included special diets, tons of doctor’s appointments, and all sorts of therapy, not just for Ronan but for Betsy’s son as well. I’ve watched him grow up to be more independent and more successful. It’s truly inspirational, and I’m so thankful to be witness to the transformation that Betsy helped facilitate. Ronan isn’t in the same place developmentally yet, but if Betsy was able to move mountains for her son, I will continue to do that, too.

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.