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Elephant In The Living Room

Elephant-in-the-room-net-neutrality-jpeg-300x224By Dr. William H. Gaunt

A two year old boy is found in his family's living room with his head crushed.  In fact, his whole body was a bloody mess with numerous crushing injuries.  The crime lab and detectives are on the scene.  There is an elephant standing near the body.  It's hooves are dripping with blood. The lab techs are dusting for fingerprints and looking for other evidence while ignoring the elephant.  The younger detective says, “What about the elephant?  It seems clear that...”  His older partner interrupts him and takes him aside.  He says, “If you want to keep your job, you will disregard the elephant as a suspect.  It is an absolute career killer to accuse an elephant of anything bad.  The CDC has funded several scientific studies which show that elephants are safe and effective and above reproach.  Take it from me, you don't want to go there.  We can come up with any cockamamie story we want but it is totally politically incorrect to even mention the possibility that the elephant had any role in this child's death.”  The younger detective said, “Sorry.  I didn't know.”

Several theories were advanced to explain the child's death.  One was that he had a genetic predisposition to spontaneous head crushing.  Another was that his mother had her children too closely spaced and this has been shown in scientific studies to cause head crush syndrome.  Yet another idea was that the mother was using a brand of shampoo on the child that has nefarious ingredients which are suspected of causing head crushing in a small percentage of users.  The parents suspected the elephant but their pediatrician told them that it was purely a coincidence that the elephant wandered into their living room at about the same time their little boy was killed.

The elephant was cleaned up and sold to a circus where it now wears a spiffy costume and is part of an act entertaining children and their parents. A popular burger chain has taken to renting the elephant for a PR gig wherever the circus appears.  Children can get a free elephant ride with the purchase of any kid's meal.  The elephant stomped a child at one of the chain's Poughkeepsie restaurants a few weeks ago but that incident didn't make the cut for any mainstream media.  One of the eye witnesses was Dr. Constance Veracity, a physics professor at the local university.  She testified that it looked to her like the elephant deliberately stomp on the little boy.  Security camera footage aligns with Dr. Veracity's testimony yet her story was discounted because the authorities considered her to be an ignorant,  tinfoil-hat wearing, conspiracy theorist, anti-pachyderm wacko.  Once again the elephant was exonerated and the authorities determined that it was the parents' fault for allowing their child to get too close to the elephant before it was his turn to ride.  The boy survived but one leg was badly mangled. 

It is sad about the child with the crushed head and the boy who got stomped but there is nothing that could be done.  It would obviously be absurd and outside the realm of possibility to accuse an elephant of any wrongdoing.  Move along.  Nothing to see here.  Life goes on.

Dr. Gaunt is a retired Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine.  He has also taught chemistry, biology, and anatomy at high school and college levels.



Thanks for the analogy. It's a career torcher to even put the elephant in a footnote-- other than to say that "studies show elephants do not trample."

Like elephants, the vaccine program is now endangered due to growing loss of public trust from the system's malfeasance, fraud and callous disregard.

Jeannette Bishop


meanwhile, one of the public servants who authored legislation mandating elephants in school has demonstrated that he is above being served himself, when parents who understand that mandating interaction with elephants for children is beyond his purview try to present him with a recall notice...


Jeannette Bishop

Thank you!

I think some of those sacred performing elephants are here in California where legislators recently ruled they should be protected from the use of bullhooks and are also working on legislation requiring that elephants become an mandatory part of the educational process in each California school and installed in each daycare as well...

Laura Hayes

Loved your article, Dr. Gaunt...and loved your monkey example, Bob Moffitt. Thank you both!


Soon all the old but wise monkeys, who survived into their 80s and 90s with nothing more than one or two shots, maybe small pox and polio, if any, will be dead, and there will be no one to remind the next generation of parents that billions of monkeys have lived upon this earth, survived, and even thrived, without having been vaccinated. Unless . . .


Dr Gaunt; Exactly!
Bob Moffit - that explains a great deal. Replacing all the old monkeys with new monkeys. It could be done, it should be done!

But I do hope that not only replaced but in orange jumpsuits too Sigh! Justice delayed though is justice denied.

Bob Moffitt

Excellent analogy where the prime suspect is ignored because the investigators have learned over decades that to accuse the elephant would destroy their careers.

Here is a recent unsolicited email I received which may offer another explanation why the elephant continues to be ignored by those who know better:
Psychology 101 - Behavior Experiment

You start with a cage containing four monkeys, and inside the cage you hang
a banana on a string, and then you place a set of stairs under the banana.
Before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana. You
then spray ALL the monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt. As soon as he touches the
stairs, you spray ALL the monkeys with cold water. Pretty soon, when
another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to
prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it
with a new monkey.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his
shock, ALL of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him. After another
attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will
be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original four monkeys, replacing it with a new
monkey. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous
newcomer takes part in the punishment - with enthusiasm -- because he is
now part of the "team."

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new monkey, followed by the
fourth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not
permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are
participating in the beating of the newest monkey. Having replaced all of
the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been
sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to
climb the stairway for the banana.
Why, you ask? Because in their minds, that is the way it has always been!
I have changed the original targets which were the House and Senate ...
This is how today's CDC, HHS, FDA, AMA, AAP, ETC operates and this is why, from time
to time,

ALL of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME!

DISCLAIMER: This is meant as no disrespect to monkeys.

go Rand

Well written Dr. Gaunt, thank you.

The Traveling Vietnam Memorial Wall is about 6 feet tall at the center and covers almost 300 feet from end to end. It has about 60,000 names. Those on the wall require very little assistance.

At present, the still growing... “American Autism Wall” would have about 1.5 million names and would be 1.4 miles or 7,500 feet long. It will soon be one on the biggest industries in the United States.

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