Video from Kim Stagliano: THIS is Autism Too "SOUP"
By Kim Stagliano
Oh Lord I am tired of so many things. The constant attacks on our community as if we aren't real Moms and Dads doing our level best for our children with autism. The name calling in national publications by "journalists." The assumptions that we are somehow American subversives because our experiences with our children have led us to conclusions outside the corporate pharma governmental agenda. The dismissal of our kids' very real medical problems.
Saturday was my youngest daughter's birthday. She is now 13 years old. Her name is Bella. I introduced you to her in my book, and so many of you (from all camps I'll point out) came to her defense in 2010 when she was abused on her school bus by an adult. Your support meant the world to me.
I thought today I'd share a brief video after finally figuring out how to upload from my iPhone to YouTube to show you autism in our home. Well one version, Mia and Gianna are different young women in terms of ability.
Instead of having a slumber party with friends and giggling about boys - Bella spent her day with her father and sisters and me - quietly working on skills followed by a simple supper and homemade cake. THIS is autism. It's hard for Bella most of all. It breaks my heart every hour of every day.
SOUP
Happy Birthday beautiful Bella! Your video made me smile and cry.
Posted by: Laura Sauls | September 22, 2013 at 07:26 PM
Happy Birthday Bella! May the angels surround you today and always....
Posted by: Heather Walker | September 22, 2013 at 07:12 PM
Happiest of birthdays is wished to you, Bella!! We are so honored and proud to know you, if even but a little. We are also so grateful to you and your beautiful family for forging onward and upward despite all odds and each adversity. Our undying love is extended to each Stagliano. We feel blessed to have you in our lives.
Posted by: The Wessels | September 22, 2013 at 06:43 PM
When my son was much younger, we had a visit with his neurologist. In the lobby was another older boy in a wheelchair, and I overheard the doctor remarking that he had really grown much larger than last year's visit. His mother said that unfortunately, that was true. I remember cringing and hoping I would never see the day when I looked at my son's growth in a negative light like that. Now, he is in high school and as each birthday approaches, that memory comes to mind as I feel torn between the pride of him having reached another year, but also the futile feelings that I haven't yet done enough to help him. We must just celebrate when we can, never look back, and vow to keep on trekking.
Posted by: Cara | September 20, 2013 at 01:25 PM
@Stagmom: "It breaks my heart every hour of every day."
@Jan: "Every time I look at all of our beautiful kids faces all I think is it is so DAMN UNFAIR how their lives were stolen."
@Teresa: "Gorgeous yet horribly heartbreaking"
Amen.
My son's birthday is next week. How can we - his parents - be happy and sad at the same time? It will take everything we've got to keep our minds from going to what should have been, so we can celebrate with our incredible kid.
Happy b-day (incredible) Bella....
Posted by: Shiny Happy Person | September 20, 2013 at 11:41 AM
Well done Bella!
Congratulations Kim, they are a lot of work and it is an impressive job you are doing, she is one step ahead of my 11-yr-old, non-verbal son.
All the best.
Elizabeth Gillespie
Posted by: AussieMum | September 19, 2013 at 06:34 AM
Let's see, three days ago, The New York Daily News reported on autistic kids going to college.
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/new-college-options-kids-learning-disabilities-article-1.1457371
It seems that universities are accommodating students with ASD. Autism awareness is growing on American college campuses.
Daily News: 'This is the best time ever for students who learn differently to go to college.'
The Washington Post and Fox News covered the story too.
This is the nice side of autism. It doesn't sound an alarm. It seems like we're learning to live with autism quite well---unless you think about Bella and the countless children like her. The press doesn't talk about what autism is really doing to our kids. Stories about a beautiful 13 year old who doesn't talk would be more than a little concerning--especially if reporters revealed how many kids are like this.
It's heartbreaking to watch this. It's infuriating to realize that health officials and mainstream doctors don't care. And this is why we all just keep on doing what we've been doing for years. There has to be recognition.
Anne Dachel, Media editor: Age of Autism
Posted by: Anne McElroy Dachel | September 19, 2013 at 12:10 AM
Happy Birthday to Bella and hoping happiness for her mother and family too.
Posted by: Visitor | September 18, 2013 at 11:17 PM
And she does talk! She said Mama, Bella, no and soup! My son is 21 and still gradually talking more and more. The window doesn't close.
Posted by: Twyla | September 18, 2013 at 10:55 PM
Where to begin? You're wonderful, she's beautiful, and I HATE that anyone could ever hurt her!
Happy Birthday Bella.
xx
Posted by: Michelle B | September 18, 2013 at 10:18 PM
She's fantastic! Hardest working 13 year old in Connecticut I'm sure!
Posted by: Carter's Daddy | September 18, 2013 at 10:05 PM
What a wonderful video. Thank you for sharing it Kim. Happy, Happy Birthday to Bella!
Posted by: Michelle Wandrack | September 18, 2013 at 09:47 PM
Happy Birthday, Bella! What a beautiful mother-daughter video. She is blessed to have you as a mother!
Posted by: Susan Willoughby | September 18, 2013 at 08:49 PM
Happy Birthday Bella, I hope you and the family had a lovely day.
Posted by: Doug Stables | September 18, 2013 at 07:34 PM
Angel kisses -- the breeze from Mom's helping words lightly blowing Bella's fluffy ringlets. Then followed by a big loving smooch on the cheek.
That's family. That's wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: nhokkanen | September 18, 2013 at 06:18 PM
Happy Birthday to your sweet, beautiful girl.
I will pray for a cure for her and all the children and I will pray too, that the ghosts of Christmas visit all the many Scrooges, as soon as possible, to show them just how evil they have been. Wouldn't it be something if instead of putting energy into arrogance, attacks and spreading misinformation, if all that energy and potential went into loving support and an earnest, massively funded race for a cure and aggressive, as in, in a hurry, steps toward prevention, because we all, as a society, agree that this is our highest priority?
Posted by: Linda | September 18, 2013 at 06:06 PM
I know birthdays are hard for you Kim. Sending love to you and Ms. Bella. She is so cute. What a treat to see her on video.
Posted by: Michelle O'Neil | September 18, 2013 at 05:56 PM
Happy Birthday to a lovely girl and her lovely mom. Bella has such great eye communication with Kim and the camera. She is really engaged, aware and spirited.
Posted by: Christina Adams | September 18, 2013 at 05:16 PM
Happy Birthday, Bella!
When one syllable words become three and each of those three is a universe to learn and develop in and of itself ... our kids work so very hard to comprehend and communicate, and I think sometimes endure, in a world that is too likely to assume the opposite is the case, and this even happens when a great degree of verbal ability is present.
And then there is the knowledge that sometimes a "trace" exposure, infection, out of balance nutrition, something might take months or years of effort away, steal away abilities to communicate, to maintain internal peace. That's especially where the word "tired" comes in, trying to provide, facilitate, and protect each gain.
We reach out to the world with an unwanted message in part to accomplish that, in part to protect those vulnerable to the same harm, possibly all of us, and overall I think because we still have faith in the humanity of most.
Posted by: Jeannette Bishop | September 18, 2013 at 04:28 PM
This video made me laugh & cry! She is like my Olivia (11) in so many ways. Who would kill for a sleepover but is too busy trying to recover. Happy birthday to beautiful Bella!! Keep up the great work :)
Posted by: Nikki | September 18, 2013 at 03:35 PM
Happy Birthday Bella! Kim, your video broke my heart and in the same instance filled it with love and hope. Here's to chicken SOUP for the autism soul. My son will sometimes say something meaningful (in that I think I understood it) and I'll say, "Max, what did you say?" And then he'll say "what did you say?" I love that your prompting- and Bella's gumption- allowed for such a sweet exchange.
Wishing you and your family all the best.
Posted by: Christine Thompson | September 18, 2013 at 02:18 PM
Happy Birthday, Bella!!
Posted by: Carolyn M | September 18, 2013 at 01:19 PM
Happy Birthday Bella!!!!
Thank you for sharing this video Kim. I agree, we should all start posting our kids "speaking" and working on skills like intelligibility and articulation so that people will understand that we do NEED to speak for them. They also should see the injury that has come to our children and that they are not just "quirky" as is shown so often in the media.
Posted by: Shannon Hunt | September 18, 2013 at 12:47 PM
She is a beautiful young woman and is obviously very loved. She, and her sisters, are very blessed to have the parents that they do. Strength to you and your family.
Posted by: Shelly | September 18, 2013 at 12:19 PM
Thank you Kim for sharing and sharing beautiful Bella. She and my beautiful Brooke are VERY similar, in beauty, spirit, curiosity, and struggles. The world needs to see this Autism. I too get my heart broken every day, every hour. Thank you for all that you do Kim!
Posted by: JSommer | September 18, 2013 at 12:18 PM
Beautiful, Kim. And words! From pre-verbal to real, live words! You give me hope, Bella!
Posted by: Cathy Jameson | September 18, 2013 at 11:56 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA, MY ASHLEE DOSENT SAY A WORD BUT IT SEAMMS LIKE SHE IS TRYING TO SING WITH MUSIC WE ALSO SAY WORDS AN POINT OUT THINGS EVEN THOW SHE DOSENT,BUT MAYBE ONE DAY SHE WILL
Posted by: DONNA | September 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM
I know the thought of the future and what could have been and all
But that video brought a smile to my face for there is just too much love in it.
By the way the waves in Bella's hair - are to die for! I have a wavey iron I try for that very look when (seldom) I go out.
Posted by: Benedetta | September 18, 2013 at 11:31 AM
Happy birthday to Bella! I will always remember her birthday because my daughter also turned 13 this week. Fortunate for my girl she escaped "autism", her brother was not so lucky. He has the full-blown variety like Bella.
Posted by: Kristine | September 18, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Beautiful video, beautiful girl! Amen to all the supportive comments below. Prayers to you and your family and thank you for your strong energy in continuing to plow on through all of this with joy, humor, love, sorrow, anger - and expressing it all so well.
We are indeed subversives. Such a crazy situation, I never could have imagined this.
Happy birthday, Bella, and all the very best in the year to come!
Posted by: Twyla | September 18, 2013 at 11:03 AM
What a beautiful girl, happy birthday Bella.
You nailed it Kim regarding the vilification. I was recently arguing in the comments section of some article on the measles outbreak with a pharma shill. He referred to us several times as the “anti-vaccine lobby”, as if we were a front group being paid to further some ulterior agenda. Talk about projection. I challenged him to explain exactly on whose behalf this ragtag group of parents was lobbying other than our sick children. No response and I wasn’t expecting one. Calling us an anti-vaccine lobby is just a crude way to establish moral equivalence between our activity (helping our kids) with theirs (increasing revenue via the attempted Gardasil mandates, revolving door between pharma and the FDA and ACIP, packing the schedule, etc.).
The parents have a moral authority these guys lack, the vilification is an attempt to destroy that.
Posted by: Jeff C | September 18, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Thank you so much for sharing Kim. With regard to you comments about how we, as a community, are marginalized. I am now much more skeptical of everything I am told by any "expert" about almost any subject. If I haven't looked into it thoroughly myself, I'll just stay on the fence.
Posted by: Maureen Fischer | September 18, 2013 at 10:35 AM
Beautiful Bella; you can see how much she loves you in her eyes. Lovely and sad video.
Could this be shown to the upcoming vaccine injury committee, to put a face that is different from Aris' on autism?
Please keep your chin up, Kim. When the media comments get too much, I just stop reading them for a while.
Imo anyway, old white men trying to say autism isn't a problem are looking less and less convincing.
Wishing you and your beautiful family all the best. We will say a prayer for you guys tonight.
Posted by: Hera | September 18, 2013 at 10:16 AM
You are both awesome, and soooo pretty! Happy birthday Bella :)
Posted by: Candy Allen | September 18, 2013 at 10:06 AM
Thank you for posting, Kim...and happy birthday to your beautiful young Bella!
The next time someone tells us that we need to listen to the voices of those diagnosed with autism, I suggest posting this You Tube link. Perhaps they need to listen to Bella. She, too, is a 'voice' of autism.
Posted by: Vicki Hill | September 18, 2013 at 09:37 AM
Happy birthday, Bella! What positively delicious looking cheeks she has, Kim. May this be the year that she achieves more than all other prior years combined. I know this is the universal and unspoken goal we always set for our children. xoxox
Posted by: Not an MD | September 18, 2013 at 09:23 AM
Kim, that moved me. Firstly, she SO much reminded me of my Zoe, who will be 8 in 3 days. She is so beautiful, and working so hard to communicate. Love & peace to you, sister, for all you do. May she have a happy happy birthday, and may you and your girls find the peace and healing you deserver. {{hugs}}
Posted by: Gina Badalaty | September 18, 2013 at 09:18 AM
Happy Birthday Bella! Kim you are a great mom!
Posted by: SarahW | September 18, 2013 at 09:05 AM
Beautiful Bella!
Posted by: tara mcmillan | September 18, 2013 at 08:47 AM
Maade me cry happy/sad tears! Happy birthday Bella!
Posted by: KarenG | September 18, 2013 at 08:47 AM
Absolutely beautiful! Both mom, and daughter as well as the moment. Thank you so much for sharing with us! Great Job Bella!!! We moms know how hard you work!! Hugs!!
Posted by: Allison | September 18, 2013 at 08:46 AM
Thanks for sharing this Love-O-Gram, Kim, and happy birthday, Bella.
Posted by: Dan E. Burns | September 18, 2013 at 08:34 AM
Happy Birthday!!!
Posted by: John Stone | September 18, 2013 at 08:20 AM
I watched this 2 minutes after hearing my son saying/singing some of the words to happy birthday. And me trying to get him to say how old he would be (it's 28 this year)
So your video of BEAUTIFUL Bella brought tears to my eyes Kim.
Every time I look at all of our beautiful kids faces all I think is it is so DAMN UNFAIR how their lives were stolen.
At least they have us their warrior Moms and Dads.
Posted by: Jan | September 18, 2013 at 08:17 AM
Happy Birthday Beautiful Bella. And to you Kim as always my most profound admiration not just for the kind of amazing mother you are but also for the amazing human being you are!! Lots of love to you and your family!
Posted by: Carola L. Perez | September 18, 2013 at 08:13 AM
Amen. Adorable video.
((HUGS)) and a *High Five*
Posted by: Jenny Webster | September 18, 2013 at 08:08 AM
Happy Birthday Bella!
Posted by: Jim Thompson | September 18, 2013 at 07:54 AM
Love to you and Bella. You have an awful lot of people behind you with such respect and admiration.
Posted by: maurine meleck | September 18, 2013 at 07:44 AM
Love to you and your beautiful Bella! She and all of our kids break my heart for what they have had taken away from them.
Posted by: Sue S | September 18, 2013 at 07:41 AM
Not half bad for a crazy anti vaccine bring back vaccine preventable disease subversive they hate their kids with autism and want to change them because they can't accept them Mom, eh? Really tired of the media drubbing. GLOVES OFF. And after 2+ years of Karate and weapons classes, that actually means something.
Posted by: Stagmom | September 18, 2013 at 07:35 AM
Gorgeous yet horribly heartbreaking. Our kids are all so beautiful yet so tragically affected.
The love you share shines so brightly.
Posted by: Teresa Conrick | September 18, 2013 at 07:23 AM
Sums it all up doesn't it.
Love to you, Bella and all of us who aren't allowed to quit.
Posted by: Lori Orrico | September 18, 2013 at 07:12 AM
Love Bella!! Sweet girl!! Makes me smile! Beautiful girl....hugs from plainville! Ms. Candie loves you....
Posted by: Candie federico | September 18, 2013 at 06:37 AM
Happy birthday beautiful Bella
Posted by: Angela | September 18, 2013 at 06:31 AM