Just when I think I’ve helped everyone I thought I could, I haven’t. Not that it’s my job, or that I get paid to help others; it’s just part of my nature to help, especially when the other person is a mom.
I ran into a woman last week who’ve I’ve known just for a little while. Her kids are typical. Or so I thought. The more time we spent together the more I realized, no, her kids sound like mine. Mine are not as typical as I imagined they could be—one has severe developmental delays and autism. Two were speech delayed. Three were vaccine injured.
The longer we chatted, the more this other mom and I shared the same vocabulary: therapy, vision issues, sensory needs, auditory integration, calming and self-regulating techniques. All this time I wanted to be more like her, but she was just like me: a mom working feverishly to give her kid what they needed to be able to function in the world.
Hearing that her child had struggles hit me hard. I had no idea. In past brief encounters I assumed she was bathing in “typical” parenting, and yet, she was struggling just like I do. It humbled me. In the same instant, it crushed me.
Just when I think I can handle all that I encounter…
Just when I feel I have been completely beaten down emotionally…
Just when I think surely no more children are suffering like mine have…
It felt like my world was caving in. To hear that another child shared the same story and similar struggles as some of my children do, how did I miss that?
Was it because I was too self-absorbed and knee-deep in my own thoughts?
Was it because I can’t be all and do all for everyone even though I want to?
Was it because this other parent hadn’t put two and two together yet like I and many of my friends have?
Was it because this parent has kept their head in the sand about what’s contributing to their child’s problems?
Or was it because they’re afraid of confirming what they do know but haven’t yet found the courage to confront it?
Of course it’s a combination of things to include that I don’t know the whole story. It may not be my business to know it right now anyway. But, should our conversation continue another time, I’ll be ready to listen to what this mother wishes to share. And if my help is requested, I will absolutely offer what I know. I will guide her to search for the answers that I don’t know. I will stick by her however long I am welcomed to stand next to her.
If this mom learns what I discovered about my children’s health, and if she realizes that environmental triggers caused her child’s issues too, I don’t doubt she’ll cry the same tears I shed. She’ll certainly feel like the world is caving in on her like it did for me so long ago. But with help—from me, from you, and from other parents like us, she’ll have the chance to catch up. We’ll give her that chance because no one lets what happened to our children be the last thing to happen to them. No one.
Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.
Cathy, Thankyou, You are absolutely right. I recall going to the US one summer and seeing the American kids looking so strong and healthy. the next summer, my grandsons friend , who had looked fine, now had severe diabetes at age 7. When you look behind the curtain of "health" this is what you find- or a history of unusual illness- infantile anorexia, Kawasaki, Thrombocytopenia, etc, etc.
To PANDAS Mom- thankyou for sharing. Its hard to hear even this brief account. A couple of suggestions- giving a half clove of fresh garlic daily- mix with honey - giving about half a lime in a glass of water with sugar daily. Making sure your son gets 40 minutes of sun daily or maybe a couple of hours on Saturday or Sunday. Do every thing you can think of to bring up your child's nutritional health, so that his own body fights off the Pandas. Be sure to give very good vitamin and mineral supplementation.
See if you can get your son to like a pasta sauce that you make yourself by frying a few onions and then adding two pounds of fresh organic tomatoes. Put in 5-6 cloves of garlic a few minutes before turning off the heat. Add the dry or fresh spices that you prefer. In this manner, more garlic comes in his diet. . This sauce can be kept frozen in glass jars in the freezer.
Posted by: Cherry Sperlin Misra | September 16, 2013 at 03:06 PM
It seems like all one has to do to find another family struck with some form of immune injury is talk to them. Sometimes just hanging around on the social fringes with eyes forced somewhat open on this issue is all it takes.
As long as "experts" and those that present them remain trusted...
As long as "they" seem to think the cause is so complicated so the rest of us don't bother investigating, just accept...
I think the complication simply comes from unwritten agendas conflicting with professed purposes. I think the collective we should have been well on our way to reducing all kinds of manmade chronic illnesses and complications by now--isn't that the only moral course left after the now obvious results of all this vaccine/pharmaceutical use?
But it took me at least 7 years, maybe more like 30-35, and a lot of pain to see this much.
Posted by: Jeannette Bishop | September 16, 2013 at 02:27 PM
Thank you for typing this......I run into parents like this also - I also feel how lucky parents are when they are only dealing with typical kid issues and like the Jean stated you do not see what our kids go through and how hard they work because they look like everyone else and usually do not have any physical issues but if you would see my son working on a non preferred project and how hard it is for him sometimes you would see how much he can suffer - he also has low muscle tone and he tries his best at karate but sometimes he just can't do all the moves like the other kids.....He is just a hard working kid and I love him with everything I have.
Posted by: trina Aurin | September 16, 2013 at 02:03 PM
What so many have yet to understand (or chosen to ignore) is that the children with autism are just the tip of the vaccine injury iceberg.
Posted by: Shelly | September 16, 2013 at 11:01 AM
I appreciate you so much. You make the world a better place.
Posted by: Jean | September 15, 2013 at 06:13 PM
Thank you for this beautiful account of a realization that most have not yet made. It brought tears to my eyes. There's an avalanche of "invisible illness" hitting our society. If you were to see my son in the grocery store or playing with his friends, you'd never know the struggles he's been through. Unless...you saw him on a morning when he was too anxious to simply walk into his small, private school... or the night he developed PANDAS/PANS and didn't recognize his own father... or the day he stood on a sidewalk downtown and screamed that he wanted to die... or the 5 times he's been hospitalized for asthma/pneumonia/other infections. We know his mental and physical health problems were environmentally triggered, which has allowed us to bring him a long way toward recovery, but most parents don't yet know the truth.
Posted by: PANDAS Mom | September 15, 2013 at 01:27 PM
thanks for a great essay and an extremely appropriate video to go with it.
Posted by: Jan | September 15, 2013 at 10:48 AM