I played for a few minutes on the same bowling game Ronan had started.  He smiled.  When that set was over, I offered the Wii remote back to Ronan.  He happily took it and turned toward the TV.  I watched him play for a few minutes and then went back to the office to read. 

Not more than three minutes later, Ronan found me again.  He reached for me, signed please and waited for me to get up to follow him.  Together we walked back to the Wii.  This time Ronan had a tennis game up.  He handed me the remote and signed yes.  I played a match, and extended the next game to play a few minutes longer. 
Ronan laughed when the ball went out of bounds and jumped up and down when I made the players swing their racquets quickly.  He wanted a turn so I gave the remote back and asked if Ronan wanted me to stay.  He signed no.  I quietly turned and walked away and back toward the office but stopped in the kitchen for something to drink.  No sooner had I poured the drink did I hear Ronan’s footsteps.

It’s been a long time since Ronan’s been this interactive, so I dodged around a corner to see where he was going.  I went into the living room, sat on the couch and waited.  I could hear him in the office, but he didn’t stay there very long.  I could hear him getting closer and coming in my direction.   Rounding the corner, Ronan made eye contact a smile spread across his face. 
‘MOM’, his eyes and smile said.  ‘MOM, play’ I imagined him thinking.  I smiled back and said, “Ronan, you’re a stinker today!  We hardly ever play together.  Do you want me to play Wii again?”  Ronan’s smile got bigger. ‘Wii’ he signed. ‘Wii bowling’.

Not that I doubted Ronan and how he was initiating this playtime, but his attention span is so very short and I needed to get dinner started that I wanted to be sure he wanted me to join him again.  I handed Ronan my phone.  I asked him to type out his request to me to see if he really, really, really wanted me to go play with him one more time.  This is what Ronan wrote:  Mom please play wii sports. 

Dinner would wait.

“Wow, Ronan! Let’s go!” and we started toward the Wii.  This time, maybe because I had snuck away the few times before, Ronan walked a step ahead of me but kept looking back toward me.  He watched me feet.  He watched to make sure I followed him.  He looked up at my face and made eye contact over and over again.  Then, he brought his hand toward mine and reached for me.  Hand-in-hand, with me half a step behind, I followed Ronan until we were back in front of the Wii.  This time I stayed put.  Forty-five minutes we played.  Together.  Laughing.  Getting encouragement with smiles and giggles as my attempts to play aren’t nearly as good as his. 
Game after game, Ronan would stare at me.  He’d sign yes or point to the next game he wanted me to play.  He’d sign no if he had enough of what I was playing too.  I’d catch him peering at me again while I bowled, boxed and swung.  He was relaxed and happy.  I was too.  It was so simple yet incredibly glorious. 

I’ve waited for Ronan to catch up to where I think he should be for a long time now.  I’ve been disappointed along the way, not by Ronan, but by how much hard work and time it’s taken to do what other children do so simply.  Hard work and perfect timing can pay off though.  Thursday’s events reminded me of that.  They also reminded me that when Ronan is ready, I need to be also. 
I’ve waited a long time to have consistent and meaningful interactions and typical play time with my son.  It’s been a long time coming, but days like last Thursday were absolutely worth the wait.


Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.