The Recovery Room: Explaining It
By Julie Obradovic
So, last time we looked at the definition of recovery. As I suspected, there is no singular definition. Likewise, I have found, there is no singular way to explain it.
If you’re like me, trying to explain what happened to your recovered child is not easy. Well, okay, yes, it is easy…to us. Sick child got better. Simple enough.
But when people (who aren’t us and don’t understand) want to know why she was sick and how she got better, it usually and inevitably goes something like this:
First, I take a deep breath, purse my lips to the side, and raise my right eyebrow in a face that says, “Oh dear God, how do I put this?”
Second, I quickly size up the situation. Who is this person? How well do we know each other? In what context do we know each other? Is it safe?
I have to ask myself these questions because the answers matter. A lot. If this is a new co-worker, for example, I’m giving a very vanilla, polite explanation. I don’t know them; they don’t know me, and this is not how we are going to start things off.
If it is a fellow mother in the Whole Foods buying gf/cf foods, for example; however, I’m more likely going all out.
That said, over the years, I’ve become less and less inclined to sugarcoat things. I just don’t have time for that anymore. Plus, my need to do so really bothered me. I felt like I was betraying my daughter in some way by not just hitting people over the head with it. This happened. This is her truth.
“She was injured by her mercury and her vaccines, which in her case, when used in combination with too much medication, resulted in brain damage. Happens to lots of kids actually. You have probably heard it called Autism, ADHD, and any number of other things plaguing children today. It’s all the same.”
But, I found that put a lot of people off. They didn’t really know how to process something so blunt, and often I found they immediately wanted to change the subject. As a teacher, I hate when teachable moments are lost.
So then I would try the gentler way.
“Well, you see, she got mercury poisoning. And then that led to a whole host of other problems. But really the mercury, for her, was the biggest problem, and thankfully, that is very treatable when treated expeditiously. Sadly, we didn’t know what it was for a few years, so she suffered a long time and ended up with some (what seems to be) permanent damage. However, she did get better when treated, and she’s doing awesome today.”
But even that doesn’t always work. The follow up to that usually is, “Mercury? From where?”
And now I’m back where I would have been if I had been blunt in the first place.
And so it ensues. Always sizing up the situation and the person before I try my best to explain to what happened and why. Frankly, I hate it.
Think about it.
First, I have to tell them how it happened. Vaccines. Doctors. Medicine. Mercury. It’s not such an unusual claim anymore, but four or five years ago? Wow. The looks.
Second, I have to explain how we figured it out. Medical records, common sense, video documentation, research, and an underground network of parents on the Internet. Wow. More looks.
Third, I have to explain how we treated it. Vitamins. Diet. Detoxification. Oxygen. Antifungals. Enzymes. Physicians who had it happen to their own children. Major, major looks.
I’m the first to admit, the whole thing sounds crazy at first. Frankly, it is crazy. It is crazy that this is where we are today. It is crazy that we are still injecting pregnant women and children with a neurotoxin…and telling them it’s good for them…when we know 1 in 6 women of childbearing age are already toxic to begin with.
It is crazy that we have the most vaccinated children in the world and the sickest, and our authorities can’t put two and two together.
It is crazy that parents are being dismissed as the experts on their children.
The whole situation is crazy.
But it is also reality. Our reality. And although I am confident this period in history will come to an end some day, the fact is, that’s not today. Which brings us full circle.
Explaining how our children got better from an injury most people don’t even acknowledge is possible.
I’m curious. How do you do it?
Julie Obradovic is a Contributing Editor to Age of Autism.
In Canada there has been a new attack on abortion and a woman's right to chose. But Canada has no vaccine injury compensation plan, no sytem to keep track of injuries, and courts are set up so that no one has ever won an injury case. They scream about abortion being murder, but death by vaccine is ignored. Obviously Canada sees death and injury by vaccines as a non-issue.
Posted by: Ross Coe | February 02, 2013 at 04:30 PM
We came down with a virus a couple of weeks ago -- literally more than half my son's class was hit at once. I ran into another mom while picking up homework after school, she heard we were sick and kind of randomly she asked if we'd gotten our flu shots. I told her "No, our family reacts badly to those so we don't get them." She was genuinely taken aback, like it never occurred to her that someone might have a bad reaction. In years past I might have said "Hell no!" and railed on about mercury and how dangerous/useless those flu shots were, but now I find a little oblique turd tossed into their conventional wisdom punchbowl is more effective, at least with people I don't know very well.
I find people have to be smart, open and NEEDY before they are ready to hear most of what I have to say. In years past I would share what I was learning with people who I thought were friends, wanting to help them avoid my mistakes or have them share in our victories, or hoping they might look at their own kids' issues differently, but I quickly realized that they REALLY didn't want to hear any of it. It was too challenging to their world view. So now I keep my mouth shut unless a close friend who is smart NEEDS help with her child and seems ready to hear.
Posted by: Garbo | February 01, 2013 at 04:13 PM
Friends, I have a new approach that I have got into over the last year- Letting adults know that mercury is an equal opportunity poison- which means that not only babies, but also adults can feel the sharp blade of the mercury sword.
Been in an accident and they injected you with tetanus toxoid? That's great! Now your immune system is deranged and you are all set to get the MRSA bacteria that are hopping around in the hospital.
Want to have some fun at the dialysis carnival? Its so simple- just eat lots of tunafish and get the damned flu shot .
You wish to avail of all your friends and relatives' sympathy? Is easy - Ask your dentist for lots of mercury amalgams, throw in a few flu shots and you can enjoy being a "taker" - sick with Parkinsons, Multiple Sclerosis or merely Alzheimers Disease.
You got excited about exploring that cave and realized later that there were lots of bats there?- Rabies vaccines with mercury will give you a whole array of disorders- too bad YOU dont get to choose the one you want.
Going on a holiday to a country that has a few nasty endemic diseases? Just watch your pharmacist slip you a flu shot or DT with mercury so that your immune system is non functional while you are abroad.
Now- Do you wonder why vaccines have to contain mercury?
Posted by: Cherry Sperlin Misra | February 01, 2013 at 01:14 PM
I hear you Julie, I have the same decisions to make about my conversations. Carter's not recovered by my definition but he has come a very long way. All the things we do for our kids are things the media tells the public to poo poo, and so they do. It's a delicate balancing act, yet there are situations where I hope to offend(only if they started it). Just an hour ago, on a car forum, I was called a conspiracy theorist for saying Pharma controls how medicine is taught and what the media reports. But if anyone were to mention Andy Wakefield(hasn't happened yet) I would be proud to defend him.
Posted by: Carter's Daddy | January 31, 2013 at 10:13 PM
I forgot to add one more important thing- most people don't seem too surprised or even disagree about vaccines being involved when they have bothered to ask what I think is causing it (autism).
Posted by: Jen | January 31, 2013 at 06:31 PM
When I tell people I work as an Ed assistant, they're usually interested in the kinds of kids I work with. I usually mention autism and they pretty much always ask what I think is the cause of autism. I start out saying it pretty much has to be something in the environment and that I believe vaccines are involved (not maybe the only cause but an important one). I always say I wish that I didn't think it to be the case but I do. Sometimes people will say they don't think that's true and I do talk about the Hallmeyer study and the lack of physiological studies to show that mercury, aluminum are safe and that the studies supposedly 'exhonerating' mercury are crappy. Some people just find it too hard to believe that the information about vaccines is so controlled. The science guy on the street will go on about how his buddy has done so much work with vitD and MS and how biased the MS societies are in their thinking. He doesn't get that the same thing is happening in the autism community. I remind him, though! Cherry, I could relate to your point about papers, notes lying around!
Posted by: Jen | January 31, 2013 at 06:29 PM
I'm not in a position to be able to explain a recovery, and I don't do very well at explaining the injury. Excluding some online attempts, I've only ventured with family and few friends and I don't think I've endeared myself to them doing so. I probably should blame my weak diplomatic skills, but it seems we are living/have lived in such a too-bad-to-be-true scenario that even many in the same boat do not want to see or hear the truth.
On the other hand, I suspect recovery might sound too good to be true to many, especially as it contradicts the positions of some of the same institutions implicated by the injury side of our children's stories, but I think it is an important indicator of where truth is to be found, and appreciate anything those of you here are able to share.
Posted by: Jeannette Bishop | January 31, 2013 at 05:44 PM
I say, " He was vaccine injured." There usually a pause then an " I'm sorry... What did you say?" I repeat, " he was vaccine injured... His 4 month old head swelled up to the size of a basketball". Then the usual response is "oh. My. How tragic."
In a word? Yes.
Posted by: Julia | January 31, 2013 at 05:23 PM
I often have to repeat myself--some parts word for word. It's like it doesn't even register the first time. It's such a shocking and disorienting truth, especially when I reveal that my son tested as "severely mentally retarded" (IQ=50) at almost 3 years of age and now he is making straight A's at age 10.
Posted by: recoveredchild | January 31, 2013 at 03:52 PM
Julie, I, like you, try to tailor what I say to the person Im talking to, but one cant always get it right. In my heart I am with Farmer Geddon. Hitting people with information that they think is crazy, has one good effect- They remember the crazy person who told them that vaccines are dangerous and one day it happens- They read an article about some problem with vaccines... Lightbulb ! That, in fact is precisely how I got into this. I had a party at my home and a friend asked a doctor acquaintance if vaccines were safe. Wow- I was actually shocked and embarrassed. This great doctor was going to wonder how I had such an uneducated friend ! Well, today Im saving up articles about the effects of metals on the human body for that great doctor. I think he is missing out on the next great thing in medicine. He's in the position of doctors just before the microbes- antibiotic revolution in medicine.
You see, I kept this incident in my mind. I wanted to know how people got crazy ideas that there could be problems with vaccines.This lasted until I saw the headline "Mercury in Your Vaccines" and learned that this was not an industrial accident- People actually put mercury in deliberately !!!
Lately, I think one possible effective line is to say something about how people think vaccines are great until they actually study about them. and of course, once in a while I stop and wonder at how many other things I was taught in school might be dead wrong.
Posted by: Cherry Sperlin Misra | January 31, 2013 at 02:58 PM
From the wikipedia entry (!) for Thimerosal:
"Thiomersal is used in patch testing for people who have dermatitis, conjunctivitis, and other potentially allergic reactions. A 2007 study in Norway found that 1.9% of adults had a positive patch test reaction to thiomersal; a higher prevalence of contact allergy (up to 6.6%) was observed in German populations. Thiomersal-sensitive individuals can receive intramuscular rather than subcutaneous immunization, though there have been no large sample sized studies regarding this matter to date. In real-world practice on vaccination of adult populations, contact allergy does not seem to elicit clinical reaction. Thiomersal allergy has decreased in Denmark, probably because of its exclusion from vaccines there. In a recent study of Polish children and adolescents with chronic/recurrent eczema, positive reactions to thiomersal were found in 11.7% of children (7-8 y.o.) and 37.6% of adolescents (16-17 y.o.). This difference in the sensitization rates can be explained by changing exposure patterns: The adolescents have received six thiomersal-preserved vaccines during their life course, with the last immunization taking place 2–3 years before the mentioned study, younger children received only four thiomersal-preserved vaccines, with the last one applied 5 years before the study, while further immunizations were performed with new thiomersal-free vaccines."
Even people who don't have eczema are highly allergic to this crap.
I don't know about you, but being allergic myself to house dust mites, I wouldn't be inclined to have them injected intramuscularly.
Posted by: Carol | January 31, 2013 at 11:45 AM
Great article Julie O. I think I will try to soften my approach to the subject. I will try Aluminum poisoning as the opening. But then again I can now just tell them to read my book. Recovering Autism, ADHD, & Special Needs which was just put on Am-A Zon
Posted by: Shell Tzorfas | January 31, 2013 at 11:42 AM
Should have mentioned that on-line I am LOUD!
Posted by: Michelle | January 31, 2013 at 10:22 AM
I am private about it IRL, because people will judge my child, and he passes. People *see* what they believe is there, even when it's nearly gone. We even moved to another state to escape the well-meaning (cough) school system and it's "experts."
But I will tell you how certain I am that everyone will know this is "crazy" in the future. My now deceased uncle used to work for a large corporation in the 1950s and 60s. He had a "no smoking" sign on his desk, and wouldn't allow co-workers to smoke in his office. He said he "knew inhaling burning leaves couldn't be good for you" and that everyone thought he was a nut.
Not so crazy after all.
Posted by: Michelle | January 31, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Here is what I say:
"My son was diagnosed with autism at 25 months old by our city's best developmental pediatrician. He had been flagged with probable autism at 20 months old by our state early intervention sevices and had started therapy immediately. At two, he had no words, no signs, no pointing, no imitation, no receptive skills, compulsive rolling and spinning of objects, aggressive, extreme sensory issues, feeding issues, cannot swallow food, etc..."
That's to give them an idea of how it was at first. Then I continue:
"Now he is eight and mainstreamed in public school, second grade, and doing well. He is not fully recovered, his remaining issues are focus, organization skills, and some social skills. But he fits in, is happy, can function like any other child of his age, and the untrained eye couldn't pick him up in a crowd. His progress from two to eight was documented by assessments from the developmental pediatrician every six months at first, then every year, as well as assessments from the state and public school system. There is documented proof I am not making this up."
Then I explain how we went from A to B:
"We don't know what happened to him and what caused his autism. We started therapy early and at first it didn't seem to help, he was continuing to slide backwards. Then we changed his diet and the change was unbelievable. We started seeing an amazing doctor who has two sons with autism himself and helped us figure out many other issues going on in our son's body. By addressing all these issues, his brain started functioning better and he started catching up. This is called biomedical treatment of autism, and most mainstream doctors think it's nonsense. Obviously we disagree."
Posted by: Karin | January 31, 2013 at 10:17 AM
No-one will be surprised how full-on I am .
I believe in hitting the issue head-on & at high speed .
I have protested at the Royal Society where Darwin announced gravity . I have written to the worlds most powerful banker . I have spoken with and corresponded to the UK's richest woman . I have protested outside a Gavi conference . I have gone to the EU government , I have drunk a beer with Andrew Wakefield . I have attacked the surgery that wounded my child , so much so they are terrified of me . I stop young mothers in the street and tell them to boycott all vaccines . I am happy to strongly engage wishy washy people in the autism world who think this is such an awful accident (pah!) I protest against the BBC state censorship routinuely .I have told all my friends and family of my beliefs (of course they all doubt my sanity) . I do all this because I want my child to be proud of me one day , for I do all of this for her , it was my job to protect her and thanks to their deviousness & stealth i have failed , but by God I will not duck this fight now under any circumstances . And if every other parent in this mess behaved like me , we would have the criminals on their knees by now - but I know I am not alone and there is a international band of us doing a fairly good job and we are winning some impressive battles recently .I'm very proud of what I have done , I'm proud to know all you guys on here , I'm proud of Liz Birt & Bernadine Healey & so many others .
I'm proud of the scientists and doctors who have fought against severe oppression to try and educate us and defend us . I'm proud of my wife's efforts to try and recover our daughter . I'm proud of all the decent preotesting parents
who were duped just like me but realise their error and are fighting for justice .I'm proud of AoA , and VacTruth and ChildHealthSafety and the few other websites causing the Pharma Harma unlimited problems .
What I am happy to do if given the chance , is to engage with David Rockerfeller , Prince Phillip HRH ,Bill Gates , prime minsters , presidents , Paul Offit , David Salisbury , and all the rest of the BildeBstrds.
Posted by: Farmer Geddon | January 31, 2013 at 07:33 AM