Age of Autism Weekly Wrap: Poison, Apples, Polio, and Popcorn
Life Care Planning and Autism

Old Wounds and Righteous Indignation


By Cathy Jameson

As I watched my post last week being shared by other parents of affected children I could see that it evoked emotions similar to those that inspired me to write it.  I had wanted to share the Forgive and Forget? thoughts for a very long time, but I hadn’t found the right time to do that.  Last week, several unfortunate triggers brought out the deep, dark writing of that piece. 

It wasn’t the first time I experienced the overwhelming rage those triggers evoked, and sadly it might not be the last time.  I say that because I have had to turn to several people to aid me with my child.  He has many limitations that I cannot serve as well as others say they can.  Sometimes I have nowhere else to turn but other to people.  But, when I place my child in the hands of someone else fully trusting their every intention to be good and then discover that my child was knowingly placed in harm’s way deep, dark anger has every right to step in.  Not only does it step in.  It takes over.  It occupies every thought.  And every purpose and action I am forced to make.

Detrimental emotions consume me when triggers open up old wounds. Sometimes I can work through the immediate and necessary changes that must be made, but not without some scarring.  Those past ‘didn’t have to happen’ moments, as much I don’t want to dwell on them, are forefront again.  So is something else:  righteous indignation and all of its fury.  It’s right there in front of me, constant and it comes down hard.

Righteous indignation is nothing to mess with.  Parents whose children have been vaccine injured know this well.   With seething eyes we set our gaze.  We focus on one direction—forward.  We blaze a path that will not divert.  We stay determined and do not allow for distraction.  Why?  Because injustice is rampant.  Lies are prolific.  Propaganda is widespread.  And, more children continue to be harmed in the name of ‘science’ and for a ‘greater good’.

How is any of that okay?  When is this going to end?  Why does anyone think they’ll get away with it?  Who does this lying and deceiving thinking no one will notice?! 

I’ll tell you who.  It’s people who don’t care.  People who don’t listen.  People who won’t budge even though they know they should.

Why is this important to someone like me or to other parents with children similar to mine?  Righteous indignation makes us stronger.  It knows no limits.  Righteous indignation fuels what has broken us.  We can go no lower emotionally than we’ve already gone.  We’ve fallen, no—been pushed into the depths of despair by someone whose role was to help.  Not much can make up for that. 

Nothing will make me or a host of other parents forget the past and what happened.  Nothing will justify that it was okay for Ronan and thousands of others to be harmed as they were.  Nothing will prevent us parents from telling the worlds what we now know.  Nothing will keep us from helping someone else avoid the pain, broken promises and hardship we and our children have experienced. 

For many, we have lost everything already.  We have used up every positive thought, feeling and action.  We trusted more than we should have.  We respected until we were forced to see insolence staring directly at us while ignoring everything we say.  We tried everything before people turned against us.  Honestly, we tried!  We tried to trust.  We tried to believe.  We even tried to think about forgiving.  But, when our children are looked as experiments, collateral or dollar signs for someone else’s gain I believe parents are allowed to feel every range of emotion which includes searing, painful and unwavering anger.  

We and our children have lost basic rights.  We have lost abilities that used to come so easy to us.  We have lost the ability to trust.  We have lost faith.  We have become doubters, and we now judge.  We judge their wrongs against our rights.  We judge how much was too much, or not enough, and how we should have recognized it all long before we did.  We are filled with more than just righteous indignation but every desire to right wrongs that have become all consuming. 

So many emotions pour forth when righteous indignation emerges.  But so does more purpose.  A purpose to do more, to be more and to say more.  We will not let our children be used.  We will not be stepped on any longer.  We will insist that changes be made.  In fact, we will demand that not only for our child but for others who don’t know yet that they are in jeopardy.  We will also never be afraid to stand up for someone else ever again.

It isn’t very often that anger, remorse and retribution crash into me, but when they show up, oh boy do they come with a vengeance.  Those triggers bring me to a dark and gloomy state where I have to clamor to push through those present emotions that I didn’t invite in.  But with those emotions, and especially with the anger that invigorates me, I am determined once again to get Ronan everything he needs to be safe.  

When old wounds are reopened and when I am reminded that life is much different than I expected for my son, I know I’m offered a choice in how to react—give in, or fight like hell.  For Ronan, I will always choose the latter.

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.




Many children receive vaccines and don't get injured--that is, obviously injured. And some get more injured than others. Having an 80s baby my daughter only ended up with an autoimmune disease and her difficulties are largely hidden. Still, having a chronically ill child for 20 years with dyslexia, ADD, ataxia, etc. was not easy. I'm enraged that the doctor said the MMR was the safest vaccine ever invented. My daughter was one of those kids who got whooping cough despite having the DPT, and so I was naturally suspect about all vaccines. I can spot the not obviously vaccine injured now because I know the look--black circles under the eyes, a strange little gait, clinging to Mom, often a little pudgy with no muscle tone. Zero charisma. That was my daughter. There is a lot of pain on both the part of the child and the Mom. I know it. Maybe the right diet (no gluten), the cod liver oil daily, supplements, etc. might eliminate some of those symtoms but doctors don't treat. One more vaccination and it could be curtains. And why the rage? Get real...

Rachel Lu

I could not have said it better myself. I have and always will, FIGHT LIKE HELL! GOD help anyone who gets in my way!!!!!!!!!


We are a new creation, a medical minority -- discriminated against, lied about, denied treatment.

We cannot wait for a Martin Luther King, or an Edward R. Murrow. Our change and justice will come incrementally by appointing ourselves teachers, reeducating the medical community about vaccine injuries.

May every parent forced to beg doctors for vaccine exemptions arrive at the clinic loaded with reams of studies, stacks of medical records, and diaries detailing regression.


I was heartbroken when I realized my son's life was stolen and when I was told I have it too felt utterly betrayed. We've been lied to and betrayed.

Anne McElroy Dachel

One mother's story....


Righteous indignation is good Cathy let it be the core of your strength.
The saddest thing of all in my eyes is the fact that the very people to whom we looked to heal and protect our children are the very people who are no listening to us. Doctors, who have a sacred duty to listen, are now bullying and threatening instead and I ask myself constantly what has happened to the medical profession that they are so deeply angry with us, their patients? Their utter belief in the sanctity of immunisation through vaccines has been with them now for over 50 years and to them it is unthinkable that this belief could now begin to be challenged, by those who could not possibly know any better!
And they blame everything and everyone for this irritation, Andrew Wakefield, the Internet, lack of respect, insubordination, the list goes on. And I have come to believe they are deeply insecure themselves and that this is the reason for their anger. Medicine has moved on so dramatically in the last 20 years, more is known now about the nature of the immune system than 50 years ago and enlightened doctors amongst us (and there are a precious few) who have developed a deeper interest in the concept of a more holistic approach to medicine now keep their reservations about the efficacy or desirability of vaccines to themselves and do not bully or threaten, those two prerogatives of the deeply insecure.
So be angry ad be righteous Cathy! The tide is turning in our favour although there is a way to go. Be vigilant about parental choice. We, as parents, cannot fight the science but we can witness the disaster and the tragedy that is still occurring with our injured precious children and we can shout for choice. And we cannot trust our own doctors ay more.

Anne McElroy Dachel


You're so right. All those who have devoted themselves to attacking and discrediting us need to consider that we're never going away. Why would we ever stop? What would make us give up and suddenly stop doing what we're doing? Nothing is more important than exposing the damage done to my children. Nothing has a greater priority for me than preventing more children from being injured. We're not losing members on our side. The controversy over vaccine safety only gets worse. And eventually it's a given that we're going to win this fight. We've got the numbers on our side, numbers that are going to bankrupt this nation. Soon this country will be desperate to stop the damage. Then everyone will be listening--some for the first time.

Anne Dachel, Media

Victor Pavlovic

Well put Cathy, we have no other choice.

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