Dr. Wakefield Sues Brian Deer and BMJ's Fiona Godlee
That’s My Boy!

The Inflammation Highway: aka Autism

  Tummy-ache-abdominal-pain-t13513By Lisa Goes

"The one thing about my husband and I...we laugh...A lot. We find a way. We really do. Poop filled sleepless nights, injuries, missed appointments, clutter everywhere, missing paperwork...sometimes all you can do is laugh. But today, looking at the dark circles we've seen so many times under our children's eyes, seeing the suffering, the real genuine human suffering that we have worked for three years to alleviate...to see it reach these depths...there is no laughing today. There is sadness. Even the fight is gone. I should be sleeping, but I have to read up on one of our new remedies. Maybe this will be the one that touches his immune damage and regulates him? Maybe. Maybe, it will work for him like it has for THOUSANDS of other children. Maybe. I can't sleep when this could be it and I could be calling the next doctor tomorrow and we could have one less day of this. Plus, I already have an appointment to see a doctor tomorrow and I will need him to know that I know what I'm talking about. If there is one thing you learn as an autism parent it is that YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT WITH DOCTORS. You must learn to speak their language. If you don't you will get dismissed. Must read, now.

But, before I go, just need to let everyone know the women who work for us are angels from God. They were hurt today. Two of them. In their sweetest voices they kept repeating, "nice hands." And "time to get down monkey" when he climbed on the counter for the 27th time on their shift. He is 50 lbs now. Very fast and very strong. They get him. They see the real Noah in there, fighting like hell. He is mad. In fact, that's what he said in therapy today, "I'm MAD!" His therapists were thrilled. They were so excited to see him emote appropriately. I agree with them, it's encouraging. It's just that, he's mad he's sick. He's mad his head hurts all the time. He's mad his three year old brother can use the toliet and he cannot. He's mad that his body is rebelling against him and everything hurts. He's mad that in addition to not getting to go where everyone else goes and doing all the fun things other 5 year olds do, he also cannot EAT anything they do. It seems cruel doesn't it? It is.

Autism is the cruelest most malicious, devious, conniving, heinous disease. If you fear the chicken pox or diarrhea more you are in big, big trouble. Because I guarantee with the new schedule autism will come a knocking at your door. And it will get in. It finds a way. Sometimes it looks like OCD, sometimes it looks like ADHD, even arthritis. "That's nuts!", you say. Not really. It should all just be called autism. Because any time pharma causes inflammation they don't want you to find out about, they just make up a word for it. Autism. Asthma. ADD. Just made up words for inflammation. Off to read ABOUT AUTISM . It's a good one, you might want to check it out yourself... Much hope for all our beautiful children. xo lj "

Lisa Goes is Contributing Editor to Age of Autism.



I could keep posting clear relevant scientific reports, but it seems it would matter little.

Here is a series of songs that speaks to mentally competent though imperfect people contrasted with neurodevelopmentally challenged people set to songs. Babies cry until there needs are met and that me be a challenge. Some cry in unusual ways throughout the years.







One for me and my crybaby.

Left Banke - Walk Away Renee



Zac Brown Band - Colder Weather

I'm with your ghost again


If I had mercy on me I would end this. They shoot horses don't they?

For the last post.

Ruby Tuesday


I will be assimilated.



Co-Trimoxazole Allergy 64
Bactrim Allergy
Cotrimoxazol Allergy
Tmp/Smx Allergy
Trimethoprim/Sulfamethoxazole Allergy


1 Innate Immune System 66Show member pathways 13.89 YES1 SYK STAT6 LYN LCK HLA-B
2 Disease 66Show member pathways 13.76 YES1 SYK LYN LCK KIT HLA-B
3 Signal Transduction 66 13.72 CXCL9 FRK FYN KIT LCK LYN
4 Class I MHC mediated antigen processing and presentation 66Show member pathways 13.46 YES1 SYK LYN LCK HLA-B FYN
5 Prolactin Signaling 64Show member pathways 13.41 SYK STAT6 PIK3C2A LYN LCK FYN
6 Response to elevated platelet cytosolic Ca2+ 66Show member pathways 13.23 YES1 SYK LYN LCK FYN FGR
7 Cytokine Signaling in Immune system 66Show member pathways 13.23 YES1 SYK STAT6 LYN LCK HLA-B
8 ADORA2B mediated anti-inflammatory cytokines production 66Show member pathways 13.09 YES1 SYK LYN HCK FYN FGR
9 TCR Signaling (Qiagen) 64Show member pathways 12.85 SYK STAT6 LYN LCK FYN
10 Signaling by Receptor Tyrosine Kinases 66 12.75 YES1 STAT6 LYN LCK KIT FYN

YAP1 Gene


sex hormone-binding globulin measurement

polycystic ovary syndrome

migraine disorder, pulse pressure measurement

pulse pressure measurement

migraine disorder

Autism spectrum disorder: a neuro-immunometabolic hypothesis of the developmental

"The proposed neuro-immunometabolic hypothesis can be used in future in vivo studies to
probe causally for the role of the immunometabolic gene and protein networks in ASD etiology, in
particular in the areas described as being the core of both the prediction processing network and
contextual fear memory, the anterior cingulate cortex.[57–59] Indeed, a recent study reported that
an immunometabolic dysregulation reduces the thickness of the anterior cingulate cortex, while
another study revealed 1,223 differentially methylated genes (5,018 Differentiated Methylated
Regions, DMRs) in this brain region 4 weeks after contextual fear conditioning.[60,61] In another
most recent study in a human cohort of stressed pregnant mothers and their newborns, we
identified novel associations between newborn epigenome-wide methylation status in saliva and
chronic stress suffered by the mother during pregnancy.[62] Among the positively associated
CpGs is the CpG annotated to YAP1 (Yes1 regulated transcription factor) whose deletion has
been related to reactive astrogliosis and astrocyte-driven microglial activation.[63] The protein of
another gene (CSMD1, CUB And Sushi Multiple Domains 1) associated to maternal cortisol,
CSMD1, seems to play a crucial role in regulating complement activation and inflammation in the
developing brain.[64,65] Two DMRs were also found annotated to DAXX (Death-associated
protein 6) and ARL4D (ADP- Ribosylation factor 4D), which together with CSMD1 have all been
directly or indirectly involved in neurodevelopmental disorders such as ASD, highlighting the
impact of prenatal stress on the epigenetic landscape of the newborn in genes associated to
neuroinflammation and ASD.[66–70]
Moreover, inflammatory priming in maternal immune activation (MIA) in general, can
substantially alter neurodevelopment.[71] Specifically, microglia as the key players in MIA can
modify neurogenesis, maturation of synapses and neural circuits. MIA due to various triggers,
bacterial/viral or autoimmune triggers, as reviewed extensively elsewhere,[71] can influence the
efficacy of microglia to sculpt neuronal connections. This can result in a dysfunctional
neurodevelopment culminating in ASD and other neurodevelopmental disorders in the offspring
such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and Tourette syndrome. Hence, inclusion of MIA
studies might lead to additional insights into the role of neuro-immunometabolic changes in
neurodevelopmental disorders such as ASD.
The therapeutic approaches may include prenatal and early neonatal screening using
early biomarkers of altered brain development due to intrauterine exposure to stress or
inflammation, followed by early postnatal reprogramming of these effects using behavioral (e.g.,
environmental enrichment) or bioelectronic tools to correct brain developmental trajectories at an
early stage.[2,72–74] "


Metabolic profiling indicates impaired pyruvate dehydrogenase function in myalgic encephalopathy/chronic fatigue syndrome

Anaerobic threshold and recovery time after exercise depend on rates of lactate production and clearance. Lactate is made from pyruvate, mostly arising from glucose catabolism via the glycolytic pathway or from breakdown of certain amino acids. Under normal aerobic conditions, pyruvate is transported into mitochondria, where it is converted to acetyl-CoA by the pyruvate dehydrogenase (PDH) complex. In addition, acetyl-CoA is produced independently of PDH, via degradation of fatty acids and ketogenic amino acids. The acetyl-CoA formed in these processes is further oxidized in the TCA cycle and thereby serves to fuel mitochondrial respiration and adenosine triphosphate (ATP) production by oxidative phosphorylation. Under anaerobic conditions, when lack of oxygen prohibits mitochondrial respiration, pyruvate builds up in cytosol, which leads to increased production and cellular excretion of lactate. Mitochondrial dysfunction leads to both excessive lactate production and a deficient supply of ATP (16) and has been suggested to play a role in ME/CFS (17). PDH functions as a gateway in oxidative metabolism by coordinating the breakdown of 2- and 3-carbon energy substrates derived from carbohydrates, fats, and amino acids (18). A reduction in PDH enzymatic activity may lead to accumulation of pyruvate and thereby cause overproduction of lactate, even in the presence of adequate oxygen levels (16). In addition to allosteric regulation, PDH activity is controlled by PDH kinases (PDKs) that inhibit PDH enzyme activity by phosphorylation (19, 20) and PDH phosphatases that catalyze reciprocal dephosphorylation (18). Sirtuin 4 (SIRT4) was recently identified as a mitochondrial lipoamidase inhibiting PDH activity (21). PDK1–PDK4 are regulated at the transcriptional level via signaling cues involving factors such as AMP-dependent protein kinase (AMPK) (22), PPARs (23), and HIF1 (24). A possible role of impaired PDH function and abnormal AMPK activation in ME/CFS has been proposed (25).





I have paid close attention, though I don't know when I have understood. I lack in everyway.

Ruby Tuesday
Song by The Rolling Stones

She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter if it's gone
While the sun is bright
Or in the darkest night
No one knows, she comes and goes
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still, I'm gonna miss you
Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothing's gained
And nothing's lost, at such a cost
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still, I'm gonna miss you
"There's no time to lose, " I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind
Ain't life unkind?
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still, I'm gonna miss you
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still, I'm gonna miss you
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Keith Richards / Mick Jagger


There are reasons to live I am sure.

"I'd rather live in his world" Maybe is the case..

Gladys Knight & The Pips - Midnight Train to Georgia



"There’s a dark secret in me." I reflected my fate.


Listed this in 1996 about my wife.

"18. Menstrual cycles that were never timely and severe pms."

I have not see this association made anywhere until this posted recently in the following:

"Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a hormonal health condition that causes clinically significant and impairing depression, anxiety, mood swings, and uncomfortable physical symptoms in the week leading up to menses, the onset of a period. PMDD symptoms improve following menses and are minimal, if not absent, in the weeks following. PMDD disproportionately affects people with autism and ADHD. Various medications can help control PMDD symptoms1."


My wife's condition leveled her mental function in many ways beyond the issues reflected in this PMS presentation, but this is a part.


AC/DC - Back in Black (



"The hushed morbidity." Get a clue people.

ADHD & Symptom Tests Adult ADHD
PMDD, Autism, and ADHD: The Hushed Comorbidity

"Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a hormonal health condition that causes severe mood and functioning issues, and disproportionately affects people with ADHD or autism. "

My statement in 1996, "18. Menstrual cycles that were never timely and severe pms."

I feel like I am in a mentally challenged world"



Being Democrat now is about dividing and and gaining political advantage, not about truth. as one has said "Truth is not a left wing value." I have fought them over and over gain. Democrat = narcissist. I no longer make apologies for opposing Democrats. They are generally dirty little things,




iN 1996 BEFORE EANYONE MADE AN ASSOCIATION i SAID. " 18. "Menstrual cycles that were never timely and severe pms." tHE FACTS ARE SO INCREDIBLY DEEPER, BUT NO ONE CARES.

PMDD, Autism, and ADHD: The Hushed Comorbidity



I appreciate about 25 percent of Democrats. The rest are Deplorables.


Cold-inducible RNA-binding protein causes endothelial dysfunction via activation of Nlrp3 inflammasome

Haman understanding prohibits a strong appreciation for many reports.

Cold-inducible RNA-binding protein (CIRP) is a damage-associated molecular pattern (DAMP) molecule which stimulates proinflammatory cytokine release in hemorrhage and sepsis. Under these medical conditions, disruption of endothelial homeostasis and barrier integrity, typically induced by proinflammatory cytokines, is an important factor contributing to morbidity and mortality. However, the role of CIRP in causing endothelial dysfunction has not been investigated. In this study, we show that intravenous injection of recombinant murine CIRP (rmCIRP) in C57BL/6 mice causes lung injury, evidenced by vascular leakage, edema, increased leukocyte infiltration and cytokine production in the lung tissue. The CIRP-induced lung damage is accompanied with endothelial cell (EC) activation marked by upregulation of cell-surface adhesion molecules E-selectin and ICAM-1. Using in vitro primary mouse lung vascular ECs (MLVECs), we demonstrate that rmCIRP treatment directly increases the ICAM-1 protein expression and activates NAD(P)H oxidase in MLVECs. Importantly, CIRP stimulates the assembly and activation of Nlrp3 inflammasome in MLVECs accompanied with caspase-1 activation, IL-1β release and induction of proinflammatory cell death pyroptosis. Finally, our study demonstrates CIRP-induced EC pyroptosis in the lungs of C57BL/6 mice for the first time. Taken together, the released CIRP in shock can directly activate ECs and induce EC pyroptosis to cause lung injury.



"But there has been some good articles written that addiction is also part of this mess."

I do not enter the arena of giving answers anymore. I see the outer elements, but no listens to me so I no longer offer insight. Beside this people conflate intentions with reaction. Bitter much? Yes. I tried stating truths more than 20 years ago n through recent times and no has listened.

Soundgarden - Spoonman



I don't believe in man's innate righteousness. But, honesty is very possible. I find this man, Jonathan Haidt, among the honest and insightful.

The moral roots of liberals and conservatives


Count Basie - Shout And Feel It (Swing Kids)



This is my theme song, no doubt. This is just ahead of "On the Street Where you Live " by Dean martin. They swatch at times, but this is the top because of personal reasons.

Ella Fitzgerald - It’s Only a Paper Moon



If you knew what I understand you would not censor my posts.


Couple of weeks ago went to the 3614 JACKSON HIGHWAY RECORDING STUDIO and the Fame Studio in the shoals area. Loved every minute of it. R e s p e c t. Aretha is gold. I recommend visiting theses studios. Than you Dr. Dre.


A beautiful refrain.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6mpWSMkkyI My appreciation of the Beatles and the Stones only grows.



Meaning is beyond me. feeling persists.
I love the Carpenters.


The metabolic roots of senescence: mechanisms and opportunities for intervention


Metformin, Rapamycin, and Nad+



I meant to add this to the last link. I had quit alcohol for 3 months and started again today.

Double edged swords are the rule it seems. I love everyone.

Recurrent UTIs linked to gut microbiome, chronic inflammation



Oxytocin-Linked Signaling Provides Keys to Treating Social Disorders

In the more difficult cases the extremes aspects of microbiome disruption or dysbiosis are not linear and may effect individuals into adolescents and beyond. Our case is unusual.

"To confirm whether this mechanism is indeed pivotal in controlling social memory, the investigators blocked the phosphorylation of OXTR in the medial amygdala in normal wild-type rats using an interfering peptide and selectively mutated the PKD1 gene in the medial amygdala in mice. In both animal models, the retention of social memory was reduced. On the other hand, expressing a phosphomimetic mutant of OXTR—a mutant bearing an amino acid substitution that mimics phosphorylated OXTR—rescued social memory.

Their findings indicate a positive feedback loop between PKD1 and OXTR supports OXT activity. The ability of rats and mice to recognize their littermates depends on this mechanism since rodents that harbor a mutated oxytocin receptor forgot about familiar animals and treated them as strangers if separated for a day.

“Our findings describe a phosphoregulatory loop for OXTR and its critical role in social behavior that might be further explored in associated disorders,” the authors noted."



Human Phenotype Ontology for PKD1 Gene

Recurrent urinary tract infections

My wife had these recurrent infections, though you can have them without Autism. Older folks have them often with mental disruption.


Recurrent UTIs linked to gut microbiome, chronic inflammation

"A new study suggests that women who get recurrent UTIs may be caught in a vicious cycle in which antibiotics given to eradicate one infection predispose them to develop another. The study, by researchers at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis and the Broad Institute of MIT and Harvard, showed that a round of antibiotics eliminates disease-causing bacteria from the bladder but not from the intestines. Surviving bacteria in the gut can multiply and spread to the bladder again, causing another UTI.

At the same time, repeated cycles of antibiotics wreak havoc on the community of helpful bacteria that normally live in the intestines, the so-called gut microbiome. Similar to other disorders in which gut microbes and the immune system are linked, women with recurrent UTIs in the study had less diverse microbiomes that were deficient in an important group of bacteria that helps regulate inflammation, and a distinct immunological signature in their blood indicative of inflammation.

“It’s frustrating for women who are coming in to the doctor with recurrence after recurrence after recurrence, and the doctor, who’s typically male, gives them advice about hygiene,” said co-senior author Scott J. Hultgren, PhD, the Helen L. Stoever Professor of Molecular Microbiology at Washington University. “That’s not necessarily what the problem is. It’s not necessarily poor hygiene that’s causing this. The problem lies in the disease itself, in this connection between the gut and the bladder and levels of inflammation. Basically, physicians don’t know what to do with recurrent UTI. All they have is antibiotics, so they throw more antibiotics at the problem, which probably just makes things worse.”

Most UTIs are caused by Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria from the intestines that get into the urinary tract. To understand why some women get infection after infection and others get one or none, Hultgren teamed up with Broad Institute scientists Ashlee Earl, PhD, the senior group leader for the Bacterial Genomics Group at Broad and the paper’s co-senior author, and Colin Worby, PhD, a computational biologist and the paper’s lead author.

The researchers studied 15 women with histories of recurrent UTIs and 16 women without. All participants provided urine and blood samples at the start of the study and monthly stool samples. The team analyzed the bacterial composition in the stool samples, tested the urine for the presence of bacteria, and measured gene expression in blood samples.

Over the course of a year, 24 UTIs occurred, all in participants with histories of repeated UTIs. When participants were diagnosed with a UTI, the team took additional urine, blood and stool samples.

The difference between the women who got repeated UTIs and those who didn’t, surprisingly, didn’t come down to the kind of E. coli in their intestines or even the presence of E. coli in their bladders. Both groups carried E. coli strains in their guts capable of causing UTIs, and such strains occasionally spread to their bladders.

The real difference was in the makeup of their gut microbiomes. Patients with repeat infections showed decreased diversity of healthy gut microbial species, which could provide more opportunities for disease-causing species to gain a foothold and multiply. Notably, the microbiomes of women with recurrent UTIs were particularly scarce in bacteria that produce butyrate, a short-chain fatty acid with anti-inflammatory effects.

“We think that women in the control group were able to clear the bacteria from their bladders before they caused disease, and women with recurrent UTI were not, because of a distinct immune response to bacterial invasion of the bladder potentially mediated by the gut microbiome,” Worby


The findings highlight the importance of finding alternatives to antibiotics for treating UTIs.

“Our study clearly demonstrates that antibiotics do not prevent future infections or clear UTI-causing strains from the gut, and they may even make recurrence more likely by keeping the microbiome in a disrupted state,” Worby said

Hultgren has long worked on finding innovative therapies to eradicate disease-causing strains of E. coli from the body while sparing the rest of the bacterial community. His research forms the basis of an experimental drug based on the sugar mannoside and an investigational vaccine, both of which are being tested in people. Another strategy would be to rebalance the microbiome through fecal transplants, probiotic foods or other means.


Urinary Recurrent Infection in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder



Don't worry about that phrase.
I was surprised does not mean what you think it means.
It means something more profound.
I felt that it meant more than just not calling some out to do something bad to some one.

Mike Rowe pinpointed for me on an interview with Glen Beck. I wish I had been able to put it into words like Mike Rowe did. At last, I am not that good with thoughts and words.

MIke Rowe said that the phrase is really about; being lied to, even when we know it is a lie, and we are just suppose to accept it. . Yes, the journalist interviewing the race car winner Brandon was doing it to be nice - even though we all could hear what was really being said, but it is the prime example of the age we live in of lies.

Keeping with this inflammation highway theme - one thing for sure that we are seeing with the covid vaccine; it is causing blood clots or vascular disease by the spike protein messing with the ACE 2 receptor that is very rich in the lining of the blood vessels, and the response of the immune system it the blood vessels thus inflammation. So this whole article is holding up as truth as time goes forth. Any truth at this time is a real treasure.


Darryl Worley - I Miss My Friend

I would like to apologize to Our president Joe Biden. I mentioned "lets Go Brandon" in an earlier post and am ashamed of having posted that. I pray God's greatest blessing on our President and I also apologize for slandering the Guardian" publication. I don't grasp all that is happening, but I glorify God in the highest and turn from my error.



Thank you for your thoughtful words and sympathy. I really do appreciate your kindness and prayers. Bless you.


I am so sorry about your niece.

So very sad two little kids lost their mother and you another family member.

I could handle -- the I am coming home songs.

The Okay song had me in tears again.

I lift your family up in prayer.
That all I seem to do now a days.

I .


Golden Buzzer: Nightbirde's Original Song Makes Simon Cowell Emotional - America's Got Talent 2021

God directed this posting.



Please just post this. I am sober. The truth is far Stanger than fiction. I intend to continue to learn for the sake of those at AoA and all those damaged. Music is my sustenance and in part my guidance.
This a song quite specials to me. I am trying to resume my progress instead of ending it.

Jenna Mammina - When I'm Called Home



When I'm Called Home - Abbey Lincoln



The funeral for my niece was last Sunday. She was 36 years old with two children still at home. 3 or 4 weeks before her stroke she had a corvid shot and started having some headaches afterwards. She had an ischemic stoke that effected 3 main arteries effecting her brain and was dead within a day of the i initial stroke effect. There was no autopsy, so this is circumstantial in nature. A medical professional in our family has a "high suspicion" the vaccine precipitated the stroke. My niece was a nurse.

On another front I stand against Joni Mitchell and will sadly discard her music. I never cared much for Neil Young, so no loss there. If I could delink her from my postings I would. This is not a minor issue. I am not against any getting a corvid shot, but I detest the mandate and I also believe in free speech.

Covid-19 vaccine: Common stroke symptoms must be ‘urgently evaluated’



"ALl the way from Andrew Wakefield reporting that kids at the Royal hospital with autism had high build up of vitamin B 12 because they were not able to use it in their metabolism.
Then I read a book by some psychiatrist that had spent a life time treating mental disorders with different vit Bs and other things."

I marvel at the ignorance among the "learned''. Forces of conformity can blind anyone it seems. I have scores of clear clarities in biologicals pathways and effects I have thought to post here, but I have lost heart as it has not mattered thus far. I don't like this world.


Sarah McLachlan -- River (

I was far ahead, now far behind.



"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

This is true for understanding complex disease as well.


Nobody Does It Better


No one will unederstand.


a-ha - Take On Me (Live From MTV Unplugged)


benedetta Stilwell

Same here Nick.
It is pretty hard to take, and it stays with you.

If communisis is coming then so is poverty. Even if communism does not come, Poverty will probably still be here, just
because it just got a good foot hold

My 92 year old mother just lost her husband, so of course she is grieving. When she gets down in the dumps she starts talking about how bad she had it as a child.

Dad never talked like that. In spite of being poor, he had a good time with his cousins swimming in the creek - when he was not worked to death. But he wanted for Christmas really bad, gum boots to wade the branches and the snow, and of course never got them. All his life; all he ever asked for was some boots for Christmas. Every year. Until I realized that no matter how many boots he accumulated in a life time it would never make up for that one Christmas.


I left Kentucky, but he understanding of those non partisan lovely people remains with me.

The current Governor has a D beside his name. He has the sense of a true Kentuckian, but he fights it. Her is a triu Christian. I like him, but he is trying to please his masters. Please pray for him.


You said: "That old saying: I don't agree with what you said, but I will fight to the death for you to say it -- they really did not believe that. I have been amazed at what they really don't believe."

They haven't for a while that is one of the biggest things that have pushed me away from many of them. They once had great things to offer. Not so much these days. I retain that attitude of free speech. My own brother was in a hard way and I invited him to be with me often to support him. We talked some politics from time to time and once in my home we were discussing property rights and I defended the individuals right to their property and he said the state owned it all in the end. I pushed back and he shouted me down and said "you are not going to speak". Everytime I tried to respond he said "you're not going to speak, you're a Nazi". I fell silent, but had impulses to kick his butt out of my house. The irony of him forbidding me to speak while calling me a Nazi. It has tested my values of turning the other cheek. He was liberal, well he fancied himself one, but he was a modern leftist as he accused me of being what he was. I see these type everywhere today. Some on the news networks. Some networks clearly run by some of them. Give me Liberty.


What A Beautiful Name


\I do believe this my last post. I have so much to share, but it seems it makes no differnce.


It is clearly coincidental, but my wife's middle name is Lee. I absolutely adore that name Lee. A pure and Godly name to me.



I grew up in the primordial. Liberals showed me the other side. I above them all found truth. Because one side elevates itself I extol the other. Bothe were superb teachers.

Home Free - Hillbilly Bone



God loves us all.

Voices of Lee // Oh How He Loves You and Me


benedetta Stilwell

I understand. What a lot of my friends all said when we were growing up is not what they are saying now. I talked myself blue to them; for the past five years. There is something wrong with them. I look back and yeah, it might have been something wrong with them back in our youth and I just did not recognize it .

That old saying: I don't agree with what you said, but I will fight to the death for you to say it -- they really did not believe that. I have been amazed at what they really don't believe.

They were not religious, were not exactly Christian; but I did not know they had a loathing in their heart about Christian though, I did not see and recognize that in them, but I see it clear now.

SO I have been pretty lost.
Zelenko on Bigtree - had some things to say about it. I am still thinking on it.
Zelenko said that in a special book that was written at the time that the Jewish People were captured in Babylon -- it was written then about the past, word passed down about the time of Exodus from Egypt. Zelenko surprised me by saying that very few of the Jews left Egypt that many stayed behind.

Not every one wants freedom. Not every one craves it. Plenty of people wants safety and be taken care of instead.

I am still thinking on this?
I remember one time of reading a book about a slave - was he a Viking slave? But he was raised up with another girl slave that he loved. She had more than enough chances to leave and not be a slave, but she never would. The hero in the story could not understand it. Finally his friend explained to him that there are people that don't want to be free.

I am not sure that these vaccine injuries -- are not on purpose -- it an attempt to have a large population that don't mind being slaves? I don't know. I am still trying to understand it.


What passes for liberals these days are narrow minded asshole censors. Whatever remains of real Democrats please cleanse yourselves of this evil.
The left are just malicious authoritarian power mongers. People who truly value truth and freedom will always be attacker by this scum. They care not one whit what he said about his vaccination experience. The left are legalist pre and simple. Thay abhor free speech. they are the true Nazis! My own brother called me a Nazi for believing In private property rights. I was dumbfounded. He would trash all of our relationship so he could look down on me and control me in his mind. What I realized was he was like all leftist , a control freak. I join the chorus; "let's Go Brandon"!

Don McLean was right about the Rolling Stone culture.

Rolling Stone Is Trying to Cancel Eric Clapton


The leftist puttied mass forced me to this position. It is war.


I just don't see this as coincidence. No matter, I am so thankful for this. Eric and Austin. Thank you God. Thank you Eric. Thank You Austin. The Lord answers even small prayers.

He Sings "Tears in Heaven" Under the Stars - Austin Brown



I agree about the importance of music Benedetta. Smile


I love Eric Clapton; he is s musician for sure.
The veins in his hands went into inflammation.
Music is very important to the human race.
I love your choices of what you picked out.

We went up to Louisville 25, or 30 years ago with a bus load of church kids to Michael J. Smith at one of those Christian music concerts with lots of artist. IT was fun, and it cost a lot too.


They say Eric Clapton is not God aftercall. I never gave him that place. But he is the greatest guitarist ever. The words have the power, Superman more powerful than a locomotive. I look forward to your concert Eric Clapton.

Song by Johnny Cash

I Hear The Train A-Comin'; It's Rollin' 'Round The Bend,
And I Ain't Seen The Sunshine Since I Don't Know When,
I'm Stuck At Folsom Prison And Time Keeps Draggin' On.
But That Train Keeps A-Rollin'
On Down To San Antone.
When I Was Just A Baby, My Mama Told Me. Son,
Always Be A Good Boy; Don't Ever Play With Guns.
But I Shot A Man In Reno Just To Watch Him Die.
When I Hear That Whistle Blowin'
I Hang My Head And Cry.
I Bet There's Rich Folks Eatin' In A Fancy Dining Car.
They're Prob'ly Drinkin' Coffee And Smokin' Big Cigars,
But I Know I Had It Comin', I Know I Can't Be Free,
But Those People Keep A-Movin',
And That's What Tortures Me.
Well, If They Freed Me From This
Prison, If That Railroad Train Was Mine,
I Bet I'd Move On Over A Little Farther Down The Line,
Far From Folsom Prison, That's Where I Want To Stay,
And I'd Let That Lonesome Whistle
Blow My Blues Away.


Whoever edits my posts is so loving. Bless you for not posting what I submit when I am at my most foolish. I appreciate your thoughtful love. Another reason I love AoA. Some Democrats are my most loved people

Crosby, Stills & Nash - Helplessly Hoping (Home Free Cover)


Home Free - Mayday Abba has an inerrably deep place in my heart.



Confusion has its's costs. Understatement. Universal understatement.


Got to see Michael Buble on September 11th in Louisville, Ky. Absolutely a blissful time. I took my beloved sister there for her birthday. $800 for two tickets', but It was well worth it. Michael is a wonderful soul who loves his craft and people. My favorite group ever is Home Free. My view of their talent goes without saying. They were heavenly in person. Helplessly Hoping speaks to my world.

I said I was poor, but that is relative. Our gross household income is roughly $185.000 year. In this area of relatively low cost of living it is very good. Those with millions and billions run the world though.


Turns out is is a heart by design. I became curious and found this which confirms Joni painted it this way. for a Valentines day association..

"Brian Blade, said, "oh, I like that picture. "I was in my early 30s. And I looked at it and the fold of the sleeve had a heart in it. The way it -- I went, heart on the sleeve, that's romantic, that'll do!"




I have loved the song for along time as well. I hope your soul is well. I also so appreciated the way she is wearing her heart on her sleeve in the photo. At least that is what I see. Posting it again to view the pic of Joni.

Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now


Keiko Necesario is a talent.


I always loved that song.

Taurine there was an article on that in the Epoch health section.

So many studies about sooooo many problems with the metabolism that it takes my breath away.

ALl the way from Andrew Wakefield reporting that kids at the Royal hospital with autism had high build up of vitamin B 12 because they were not able to use it in their metabolism.
Then I read a book by some psychiatrist that had spent a life time treating mental disorders with different vit Bs and other things.

Way back at the beginning of the 19th century after they took the part of the corn that had niacin ?B3 in it - to make corn meal there was an on going epidemic of pellagra,.
I thought it was an accident, until some one said better be more suspicious than that.


Both Sides Now - Keiko Necesario



I've been drivin' all night, my hands wet on the wheel
And there's a voice in my head that drives my heel
It's my baby callin', sayin' I need you here
And it's a half past four and I'm shiftin' gear
When she is lonely and the longing gets too much
She sends a cable coming in from above
Don't need no phone at all
We've got a thing that's called radar love
We've got a wave in the air
Radar love
The radio's playin' some forgotten song
Brenda Lee's "Coming On Strong"
The road has got me hypnotized
And I'm speedin' into a nude sunrise
When I get lonely and I'm sure I've had enough
She sends her comfort coming in from above
We don't need no letter at all
We've got a thing that's called radar love
We've got a line in the sky
No more speed, I'm almost there
Gotta keep cool now, gotta take care
Last car to pass, here I go
And the line of cars go down real slow-woah
And the radio played that forgotten song
Brenda Lee's "Coming On Strong"
And the newsman sang his same song
Oh, one more radar lover gone
When I get lonely and I'm sure I've had enough
She sends her comfort coming in from above
We don't need no letter at all
We've got a thing that's called radar love
We've got a line in the sky
We've got a thing that's called radar love
We've got a thing that's called
Radar love


I am just going over stuff I had discovered quite a while ago. I post somehow hoping some, those known to me, might come to understand. I am likely deluded that this will happen, but where do I go now. I am tired and boundaries expands no matter what I learn. Vanity.


Kynurenine Pathway in Autism Spectrum Disorders in Children

Background: There is increasing evidence that altered immune responses play a role in the pathogenesis of autism spectrum disorders (ASD), together with dysfunction of the serotonergic and glutamatergic systems. Since the kynurenine (KYN) pathway that degrades tryptophan (TRP) is activated in various neuroinflammatory states, we aimed to determine whether this pathway is activated in ASD.

Methods: Sixty-five pediatric ASD patients (including 52 boys) were enrolled from an epidemiological survey covering 2 counties in Norway; 30 (46.5%) of these patients were diagnosed with childhood autism, 16 (24.6%) with Asperger syndrome, 12 (18.5%) with atypical autism, 1 (1.5%) with Rett syndrome, and 6 (9.2%) with other ASD. The serum levels of the following markers were measured in the children with ASD and compared to those in 30 healthy children: TRP, KYN, kynurenic acid (KA), 3-hydroxykynurenine, and quinolinic acid.

Results: The mean serum level of KA was significantly lower in the ASD group than in the healthy controls (28.97 vs. 34.44 nM, p = 0.040), while the KYN/KA ratio was significantly higher in the ASD group (61.12 vs. 50.39, p = 0.006). The same relative values were found when comparing the childhood autism subgroup with the controls. Also, the mean serum level of TRP was significantly lower in children with a subdiagnosis of childhood autism than in those with Asperger syndrome (67.26 vs. 77.79 μM, p = 0.020).

Conclusion: Our study indicates that there is an increased neurotoxic potential and also a possible lower KYN aminotransferase activity in ASD.




"The kynurenine pathway (KP) of L-tryptophan metabolism produces several neuroactive metabolites with an amino acid structure. These metabolites may play an important role in the pathophysiology of irritable bowel syndrome, Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, Huntington's disease, schizophrenia, AIDS-dementia complex, depression, epilepsy and the aging process. Modulation of the KP through inhibition or stimulation of enzyme synthesis and activity can be an alternative approach to traditional therapy. Furthermore, it may be responsible for the altered functioning of the enteric nervous system and the central nervous system. There is evidence that the KP is sensitive to changes in the concentration of many vitamins and minerals that play a crucial role as coenzymes and cofactors in the de novo synthesis of nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide coenzyme. A reduction in the availability of the active form of vitamin B6 (pyridoxal 5'-phosphate, PLP) is known to affect tryptophan hydroxylase, kynurenine aminotransferase and kynureninase (KYNU). Vitamin B2 deficiencies result in a reduction in the activity of the flavin adenine dinucleotide dependent enzyme, kynurenine 3-monooxygenase. Minerals are also responsible for the proper functioning of enzymes engaged in L-tryptophan metabolism. Mn(2+), Zn(2+), Co(2+) and Cu(2+) influence KYNU activity, and Mg(2+) regulates quinolinate phosphoribosyl transferase. Fe(2+) is responsible for the proper functioning of both indoleamine 2,3-dioxygenase and 3-hydroxy-anthranilic acid dioxygenase. Changes in the concentration of KP metabolites and in enzymatic activity have been found in many pathological states. Therefore, it is justifiable to regulate the concentration of certain kynurenines or enzymes in the KP which may provide a potential therapeutic target for the treatment of various health impairments. This review demonstrates the role of vitamin and mineral activity on the KP, which may have an effect on the proper functioning of the human organism. Surplus administration of vitamins did not elicit any beneficial effects on L-tryptophan metabolism. Whether a mineral surplus influences L-tryptophan metabolism is still not established. It seems that cofactor deficiencies influence the KP far more than surpluses."



The circle completes for this. Terrific. read. One of the psoriasis factors too. It fits like a glove.

3-hydroxy-L-kynurenamine is an immunomodulatory biogenic amine

"Tryptophan catabolism is a major metabolic pathway utilized by several professional and non-professional antigen presenting cells to maintain immunological tolerance. Here we report that 3-hydroxy-L-kynurenamine (3-HKA) is a biogenic amine produced via an alternative pathway of tryptophan metabolism. In vitro, 3-HKA has an anti-inflammatory profile by inhibiting the IFN-γ mediated STAT1/NF-κΒ pathway in both mouse and human dendritic cells (DCs) with a consequent decrease in the release of pro-inflammatory chemokines and cytokines, most notably TNF, IL-6, and IL12p70. 3-HKA has protective effects in an experimental mouse model of psoriasis by decreasing skin thickness, erythema, scaling and fissuring, reducing TNF, IL-1β, IFN-γ, and IL-17 production, and inhibiting generation of effector CD8+ T cells. Similarly, in a mouse model of nephrotoxic nephritis, besides reducing inflammatory cytokines, 3-HKA improves proteinuria and serum urea nitrogen, overall ameliorating immune-mediated glomerulonephritis and renal dysfunction. Overall, we propose that this biogenic amine is a crucial component of tryptophan-mediated immune tolerance."


Hearkens back to the Gut Microbe thread.

"Test" for Autism Measuring Gut Microbes?




For the editors of AoA I am building up for more scientific posts, but these make my life possible. My mother and father were epic people.

Alone Again (Naturally)




Nobody gets too much heaven no more. Right there with if you could read my mind. Spiritual is the reality, but I cannot explain it. I believe God has given me my understanding, but that sounds ridiculous to most ears.


We should never have met by most accounts {you and me}. I have worked at unclothing my self of faith, but it is impossible. God is in my dna. I so conclude you were meant to influence me. i hope in a better world we might know and appreciate each other as grace has touched us both. Glory to God in the highest.

When I try to relate how I went into my wife's world I try to condense it into the relatable. In the divine light it will prove child's play, but for now in the flesh it is a very incredibly difficult task. Here is a music video that touches on it. I worked incredibly hard for the a-ha moment. I knew when she saw me as unreal then real I was ascending with her. She is seeing me at the end of the videa as in her world becoming aware.
a-ha - Take On Me (Official Video)



Nick: I had forgot about Weird Al changing the wording of the most popular songs. Too funny; Jed Clampett gets money for nothing.

And the icing on top is that Jed played by Buddy Buddy Ebsen breathed in aluminum dust from his costume on "Wizard of Oz" that ended him up in the hospital, and sick like forever --- inflammation from aluminum even back then!

Buddy Ebsen

Naringenin is a flavonoid like quercetin; I will look into that.
We are doing Eastern Pine Tree tea right now.
But the best things that have worked so far is a keto diet, and N acetyl cysteine. We are still drinking lemonade from spring water, that bubbles up from old ocean petrified coral, sandstone, limestone rocks; and which I additionally treat with Dr. Crouse's silicade water recipe. Tough, time consuming.


Naringenin is a flavonoid like quercetin. It has a very similar structure to quercetin, luteolin, apigenin, genistein, eriodyctyol, and hesperetin. They all come from various plants and have many health benefits. In plants, these compounds serve to protect the plant against pests. You can't patent natural compounds, so research on the health benefits of these compounds is limited.


As in comedy as in love timing is everything. Sting is a apart as is pleasing. Weird Al is gold. Weird is life. Love is being and being is better than nothing. Money for nothing. I'm Bad.



There are so many dedicated caregivers who keep fighting. May ther wind be at your back.

The song I love more than any.

If You Could read My Mind - Gordon Lightfoot


She can't.


No worries Nick.
I did not totally understand your position like I should have.

My cousin told me this weekend that they found that it is inflammation in the brain that causes autism.




I am so very sorry for my attitude of response towards you. I got totally lost. I do understand why you mentioned addiction, but in our case this involvement ws no0t asign of desire, but much deeper and I have gone down roads of conventional interpretation that try to categorize my wife through a limited use of addiction involved pathways. I am resigning to the idea that that any one will understand. The philosophical ramifications are not pleasant and people naturally intuit most other options.

I will say you have done an incredible job of discerning a great deal about the biology of dysfunction we both have been studying. Blessings.

Barry White...amazing. I would have loved to have a meal with him and have him tell about how he composed his music.



Hi Benedetta,

Just wanted to say now that I am out of a dead spin that I got along pretty well with people before all of this. My wife never ran though getting the more typical autism aspects sorted helped me understand her unique aspects. She became my child after building a foundation and her beginning a personal social construct. Fro that very unusual childhood it was was faster than for a normal childhood as I could understand where she was after a time and worked as quickly as possible to bring her to an "adult" in mind. She will never be like typicals though as she did not have that sort of childhood and no memories of those years.

"Huge thanks to Eric Clapton for standing up for what rock and roll is all about. FREEDOM." Well said. I hope he has the strength.

On of the most beautiful modern songs I find played here with with appreciation for Guns N' Roses.

Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine - Cover


Where Do We Go Now?

I went here.



Mercola had an interesting article in the Epoch newspaper today. It is about mushrooms. In the "Mind and Body" section. Mushrooms is the highest source of ergothionine and glutathione he says. . We all here know of glutathione (detoxer of heavy metals and all. But ergothionine? The journal "Molecules" says, "ET ergothionine" is concentrated in the mitochondria suggesting a specific role i protecting mitochondrial components, such as DNA from oxidative damage"

I know that the heart doctor Gurda or what ever his name is that has interviews with Dr. Mercola all the time says to eat mushrooms at every meal and even make a mushroom powder and put it your coffee.

Your are on to something big here Visitor. Thank you for the reference.

Meanwhile; Judy M says it is viruses in all the vaccines -- every one has loads of viruses.
J. B. Handley is convinced it is aluminum. Maybe both are causing inflammation and mitochondria disfunctions?

Judy M says that took away suramin to help kids with autism, but I know that they make that drug from the eastern pine tree. Yeah, same where turpentine comes from. All the survivalists make pine needle tree from it to get their vitamin C levels up. It is really high in vitamin C.

There is also something going on about grapefruits rinds and making of quinine. I have about ran that one down. That is not true. It is bitter like quinine that is for sure, but no quinine in it. There is this Naringin that gives it a bitter taste. It is an insecticide -- like maybe It could have the potential to help covid? I don't know.

I am pretty sure the keto diet does help. So much to find out. And you do a great deal of help here on this sight. Thank you.


greyone you are welcome,

NAD+ is for more than just the vascular issues in some as you likely know. Both linked below are worth reading in full though I posted some of each.

Role of NAD+, Oxidative Stress, and Tryptophan Metabolism in Autism Spectrum Disorders

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a pervasive neuro-developmental disorder characterized by impaired social interaction, reduced/absent verbal and non-verbal communication, and repetitive behavior during early childhood. The etiology of this developmental disorder is poorly understood, and no biomarkers have been identified. Identification of novel biochemical markers related to autism would be advantageous for earlier clinical diagnosis and intervention. Studies suggest that oxidative stress-induced mechanisms and reduced antioxidant defense, mitochondrial dysfunction, and impaired energy metabolism (NAD+, NADH, ATP, pyruvate, and lactate), are major causes of ASD. This review provides renewed insight regarding current autism research related to oxidative stress, mitochondrial dysfunction, and altered tryptophan metabolism in ASD."


A Closer Look at NAD+ Brain Restoration Therapy

"Autism: NAD has been linked to social behavior as it relates to oxytocin. Through studies in people, researchers have shown that oxytocin plays a vital role in many social behaviors, such as the building of trust between strangers and the bonding between mother and child. Autism, a spectrum disorder (ASD), is characterized by social and communication impairment, and linked to significant defects in the OXT system. Many recent clinical trials have been focused on providing oxytocin nasal spray to improve social abilities, however brain oxytocin secretion is regulated by NAD+ metabolites, and natural supplementation of NAD+ can have a direct impact on OXT release and improvement in social function."



thank you for posting the info about NAD+.
I understand some alt drs use NAD+ IV's but didn't know the reasoning.
thanks also for the Angiotensin Receptor Blockers info.


The Guardian is a loathsome publication. A truly vile rag.


Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now


NAD+-mediated rescue of prenatal forebrain angiogenesis restores postnatal behavior

Intrinsic defects within blood vessels from the earliest developmental time points can directly contribute to psychiatric disease origin. Here, we show that nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide (NAD+), administered during a critical window of prenatal development, in a mouse model with dysfunctional endothelial γ-aminobutyric acid type A (GABAA) receptors (Gabrb3 endothelial cell knockout mice), results in a synergistic repair of impaired angiogenesis and normalization of brain development, thus preventing the acquisition of abnormal behavioral symptoms. The prenatal NAD+ treatment stimulated extensive cellular and molecular changes in endothelial cells and restored blood vessel formation, GABAergic neuronal development, and forebrain morphology by recruiting an alternate pathway for cellular repair, via previously unknown transcriptional mechanisms and purinergic receptor signaling. Our findings illustrate a novel and powerful role for NAD+ in sculpting prenatal brain development that has profound implications for rescuing brain blood flow in a permanent and irreversible manner, with long-lasting consequences for mental health outcome.


Another repost regarding ARB's and hypoxia and other mitigations.

Neuroprotective Effects of Angiotensin Receptor Blockers



This will seem wrong, but I am the parent of a autistic child with serious additional issues.

"They say when a parent dies, a child feels his own mortality. But when a child dies, it’s immortality that a parent loses."

"I can see the pain in your eyes. It’s very familiar. You’ve lost something. And now you’re frozen in time. Can’t move forward. Can’t go back."

I have given 25 years of intense work and study to bringing wholeness to the other and myself. I have been a proponent of faith, yet mine has failed despite all I have done. No one is to blame. If there is a benevolent concern beyond the temporal it is in its hands. I have a timetable.

I could pst 10 times of scientific studies to explain what has happened it would not matter. People must see for themselves. That is not going to happen.

Here is one more for the heck of it. angiogenesis and app are on the same track.

Hypothesis for How Hyperoxic Therapy May Facilitate Effective Biologic
“Correction” of Autism Spectrum Disorders

In an attempt to explore the possible relationship between
hyperoxic therapy and angiogenesis in autism, the terms autism and
angiogenesis were entered into the U.S. National Library of Medicine
Internet database search engine i.e., PubMed. One of the dozen or
so papers that were identified by this search stood out when we
read its title, Persistent angiogenesis in the autism brain. An immunocytochemical study of postmortem cortex, brainstem, and cerebellum
[95]. Because of the word, persistent, in the title, our immediate
thought was that the angiogenesis discussed in this publication
must be effectively non-productive. Thus, this angiogenesis would
not correct the local hypoxia, which would, therefore, continue to
stimulate ongoing or persistent angiogenesis.
The type of angiogenesis found by Azmitia and associates was
splitting (aka, intussusceptive (i.e., from within) or non-sprouting)
[95]. In comparison to sprouting angiogenesis, first described in
the late eighteenth century by John Hunter and which generally
comes to mind when the term, angiogenesis, is used, splitting
angiogenesis was only recognized in the mid-1980’s [96,97]. In
sprouting angiogenesis, entirely new capillaries are formed when
endothelial cells bud, migrate, and proliferate [98,99]. This
makes it possible for developing capillary networks to traverse
avascular and hypoperfused tissue such as may exist in traumatic
wounds [100,101]. Splitting angiogenesis, on the other hand,
divides existing capillaries to form a denser network within a
highly localized, already perfused area [102,103]. Thus, splitting
angiogenesis does not create new vessels capable of traversing
avascular tissue, and consequently hypoperfused zones could
be created and persist in growing tissue that was limited to
the splitting type of angiogenesis. The report by Azmitia and
associates, therefore, seemed to provide the critical element we
had hypothesized might exist [95].

With regions of the autism brain apparently chronically
hypoperfused, it seems unlikely that the circulation in those
regions would be capable of an autoregulatory response adequate
to correct hypoxia and maintain normal brain function (Table
2). The persistence of the stimulation of angiogenesis in brain
Peterson RE, et al. OPEN ACCESS Freely available online
Autism Open Access, Vol. 10 Iss. 2 No: 250
regions identified by Azmitia and associates effectively confirms
this [95]. Thus, this finding together with the hypoperfusion found
by many investigators in the autism brain suggests an ongoing
cycle of hypoperfusion, hypoxia, and effectively nonproductive
angiogenesis leading to pathological brain function (Table 2). It
is interesting to note that chronic brain hypoperfusion producing
cerebral hypoxia and glucose hypometabolism has been implicated
in a number of CNS conditions including neurodegeneration,
cognitive impairment, and dementia [67-69,115].

Faith’s Song


I must prepare.


I have to admit that when I said for you to get help, that I thought to myself-- and where do you find and go for help?

Lord knows I know professional what ever that means help is far and few and non caring, no curiosity or compassion.

What I do know is what my daughter confirmed that when a behavior, a habit, an addiction begins to cause you problems you have to find the will to do it yourself.

Most of us though requires a rock bottom. Rock bottom is different for everyone. Some it is jail, and some ill health, and some death.



Ok, I'll get some help sometime this afternoon. When no one believes you or understands there is no help.


How fitting you should pick a song by Eric Clapton at this time.

Revelation 21:4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,' and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away." He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

But we are responsible for flying and trying to land this plane (life) right to the very end.
My poor brother-in-law has tried so hard. He had four boys and a wife with autoimmune diseases that he has had to nurture. work so hard , fight for their health all so very very hard. Vaccine injuries all!!

Then here comes Fauci again, not done with them. He brings into being Gain of Function, and then does not allow even simple early treatments for covid. My brother in law lost his son and his mother all in one week.

He can't go even to this day to his son's grave and see his stone, it will soon be a year.

So we must all be here, and we must be sober people and act where we can, do what we can in our role that we have in this flash of life.

Don't waste even a minute of it Nick. Get yourself some help, but mostly want help.

Good luck my friend.


I spent so much time teaching, crating in her, and digging her out of biological landslide I cannot bear the memories. It seems to have been meant to be put in my lap. It destroys me to hear it.



"I know you said it was your wife that was ill.
But there has been some good articles written that addiction is also part of this mess.
I don't know if it is because they hunt for relief of pain that inflammation causes?
Pain in the limbs or since inflammation is also known to cause depression - that too. Strange out drinking causes depression and people drink to relieve depression."

THat was not clear. If you are proposing my wife had addiction issues or whether you are just referring to mine or trying to say our relationship was the catalyst for inflammation. In any way I have construed what you said it is not applicable. I appreciated your overture of concern for mh well being, but please don't engage in patronization. If I were to indulge second-guessing I might suppose that vaccines had nothing to do with your son's autism, but maybe your relationships did.

I don't believe that, but had read well about addiction before my own issue. We all carry some bagge at any point and who is to say given unforeseen and uncaused circumstances on one's part could cause the healthiest to develop a dependency. I can't say. What I can say is my wife's condition was unimaginable to me and in the process of understanding and basically creating her social construct my previous life with her was deconstructed. I don't think anyone can relate. Yet, being disbelieved over such central matters isolates. You should know some of the isolation of those who disbelieve you about vaccine injury and no medical help from the medical world for treatment. Doing most of this myself while my personal life was leveled and my philosophical moorings were totally snapped ny what all the study and dealing with her mad eme see.

Any person on the is board with an autistic child claiming vaccines were involved could have others say it is a relationship problem I have some relationship problems, but not with my wife. She is the only one who knows the truth. While I love her the experience has created a parallel world where we invest for our own mental desire and ultimately the meaning and value of things is always questionable if you have seen that what you have perceived for years about someone so close awas a misperception.

I had hoped that the all the biological information mixed with all I have been able to put forth would show I might give reason to be heard and maybe beloved and for as often as I what I posted resonated with you I thought maybe you got it to some degree. I don't get to live my truth with anyone else, but her. You can call all of my story a pathology, and it feels that people who know anything do just that. I will stand alone even if that means succumbing to an escape at times although as I just told I will attempt to overcome.

I still belive you mean well.


I know you said it was your wife that was ill.
But there has been some good articles written that addiction is also part of this mess.
I don't know if it is because they hunt for relief of pain that inflammation causes?
Pain in the limbs or since inflammation is also known to cause depression - that too. Strange out drinking causes depression and people drink to relieve depression.

I know in my own family I had a cousin that drank himself to death.
He stopped and was recovering. I thought at the time his neurological impartments were weakness from his near death escape from alcohol. I don't know which. However; he was regaining his health and strength only to start to drink again.

His wife and his Mother, came to visit, and just cried like babies, cause they knew he was lost.

He finally bled out through his mouth when alcohol related diseased liver finally burst an artery

To fight Depression the program AA has set up is to meet with a large group, and meet often. Everyone that succeeds finds regular helpful - Well my daughter says so.



All is fine with me, and I am glad all is fine with you. You are right that it is bad for me and that alone has not stopped though I have known this. When I first headed down that path it, within limits that I more and more frequently went beyond, provided certain mindsets that actually enhanced my conceptualizing . At least that was my perception. Understanding was my relief and I lost the distinction between imbibing and understanding. So, nuch of the picture is finished that I have lesser inclination to pursue further understanding in these matters, but I still depend on relief. A convoluted catch 22. I still intend to share new things I integrate into this picture hopefully helping some others as well as myself.

When I originally kept my identity private it was to keep my wife's identity private, but with my increased loss of control it began to serve to keep my own issue private. I look back over this thread and wish I could simply erase all the things I wrote of a personal nature while altered. Occasionally I made some sense and said some valid heartfelt things, but mostly I was making a spectacle out of my self. Just yesterday I lost enough sense that I spoke of my son being an accomplished guitarist in addressing Eric Clapton. I know of his personal life and about his son and if I were not in that state I would not have said anything about my son. If on the off chance he reads this I offer apology. When you do what I do apologies become more frequent.

You words are true and wise in relation to drink and I intend to make a real effort to end this cycle before something worse happens. It is kind and loving for you to care and persevere in our dialogue.
Given that I believe I have shared something substantial in information and understanding I wish to allow that work to no longer be tainted with my blundering and excess. I appreciate AoA and Kim, but a 2.0 BAC laden hyperbole does not create real rapport and affinity. Hopefully my thoughts can be wisely filtered and not distilled except for what sheds light on the plight of those affected that this site seeks to serve.

Thank you

In c


I am just relieved I did not do something wrong or stuck my food in my mouth --again.
All is fine with me Visitor.

I hope all is fine with you.
Drinking is bad for you; you know that right? Please take care of yourself for your body is a temple to God and plus I don't want anything bad to happen to you.


Any good thing you feel or see of me is the Glory of God,. Praise God the most loving and incredible of givers, Praise God the most beautiful.


I like to keep my deepest parts back, but I have wept thought he years listening to Eric's song knowing some his lives' story. Seeing how brave he is now only increases my adoration of him. May strength and lo9ve attend you Eric.

I quickly break my own rule in ending with Frank as not posting exquisite music would be my end. All my love to you Eric Clapton. So much grace to me by your hand.

Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven (Official Video)


Incredible kudos to you Kim as you have kept my identity secret. I absolutely adore you.


Can music save your mortal soul

Ec have know your music since a kid. Layla and Can't find my way home that you played on. Can't find my way home clarified me. I just said Frank would be my swan song, but your cordage and honesty moves me. I studie3d many people who's livres seemed distorted by biology and you own plight with your son drew me close to your story and with Jim's outcome I felt an intense pain. Jim was a victim. When I can't find my way home. I resort to "blind faith" and my son is an accomplished guitarist who g=has you c Crossroads series which I have been blessed with as a result. I have so long loved your "Tear's in Heaven" and been moved by your life's story and your sons passing. Music is such a blessing and to be received as God's gift's as you are blesses me to no end. thank you for your courage, honesty, and steadfastness in speaking out. I truly admire you and have been touched by you since a youth My own daughters has distanced due to stands, so I empathize and am so encouraged by your strength.. I have bee affected by your music since a child. Layla was a catalyst in my soul. May your life bee blessed and my God's richest blessings attend your life..


When I said I don't know what I believe I indeed was referring many important things, but I believe in God, the Father, and His son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I lament my witness is marred and I can't remedy it at this time. I am a peaceful non-violent person, so when I say I was swinging blindly it was a metaphor. I still regret my spiritual affliction. I accept my own responsibility and am attempting to find proper humility in my spirit. Precious people of AoA please forgive my pride. I have asked the Lord for forgiveness. God is good. One day His love will be my ectasy. It should be now, but I am still becoming. Thank you Kim for not banning me.



I did not mean Madness's posts, but M2021's. At that it was only one post by M2021 that stuck in me and it was about being negligent over some treatment measure. I have been at this too long for someone to suddenly pop in a drop such bombs. The mentality is not something I accept. I also, under the influence, mad e a likely wrong association thinking M2021 and Madness were the same person.

I wish I could Roback and not have posted what I did. I have found more recently I am losing it more often. I offer no excuses and I have not lose my appreciation for your posts and insights I was swinging blindly. I don't like what I did. While the medical/biological of those effected may vary I have been meticulous in what I post in trying to paint a picture of the one I have dealt with and what clearly are shared issues with a large number on the spectrum. Just because one with autism does not have a certain aspect of biological dysfunction that another does doesn't mean the one is not effected by it.

Madness if you are not M2021 one I apologize.


Nick did I say something that was wrong? Mandates. Vaccine mandates? I am bad against them. Is that it?

No. That is not what this is about.

Believe you I have always believed you on every thin

I might not have fully understood and maybe asked questions to get a clearer picture.

My husband Mostly sits is what I was thinking of. But not every one does.

Sorry if I said anything to hurt you


According to GAPS and WAPF, it’s important to germinate and ferment grains, beans, and nuts. This gets rid of the phytic acid and anti-nutrients.

Miso, tamari sauce, natto, and tempeh are the healthiest soy products.

But society and the world forgot about properly preparing pulses... now, digestive disorders are exploding worldwide, now also beginning in children.

What the world didn’t forget? How to deny the consequences of injecting aluminum, aborted cell material, and more into the human race.


Oh, and I recovered my wife regardless of how you view my behaviors. Maybe what I went through and the type of thinking had something to do with why she is totally functional now after 30 years of subdued being due t her biological state. Benedetta, I have not forgot you didn't believe me to begin with and were not bashful in saying so. I eventually become unbashful myself when I fully determine what I am dealing with. The ,irony of drinking in a mad world would be a suitable book title.



Once you countenanced Madanes battements I lost interest in your views.


Maddness there is something abut the GAPS diet though.

I love buttermilk,
I handle it very well.
But I don't drink much.
One day I did and inflammation in my feet and hands.

Same if I eat too much at once of my red cabbage sauerkraut.
Oh, I am fine if I eat a couple of spoonful on a salad.

So histamine over load might be a real thing. And so life goes on.


I am still on the fence about beans.

Some times old silly sayings reveal the truth.

Beans, beans, beans are good for the heart, the more you eat, the more you fart.

If beans are good for the heart, and farting is an indication of resistant starch or resistant something; beans might just be great! tofu and all the stuff they process soy into-- I don't know. I can't figure it out.

Visitor Nick
Alcohol speaking the truth or fear? Mostly they just sit and don't speak period. Well there was the time my drunk young uncle kept yelling really loud the name of his cousin,; to come on out of the church meeting. They called the constable and he was arrested.


My last song though I may post other things. I will find my way out from his song. Frank is sublime.



Nowadays, almost nobody talks about the GAPS diet (very therapeutic dietary regime) let alone WAPF. But many Neurodiversity advocates demonize/want to censor it, or lump it in as “child abuse”.

Autism or not, all the phytic acids in inactivated grains and pulses (otherwise known as “dormant grains”, nuts, beans and seeds) doesn’t do any good for society - especially with an explosion in digestive disorders, intestinal permeability, IBS and IBD now also beginning in children, etc.

What does a diet of 3-6 servings of phytic acid filled, basically asleep grains (both whole and refined), and pulses in defense mode, vaccines, sugar, white starches, highly processed foods, aluminum, drugs, pollution, antibiotics, mercury, etc do to the human individual?

We should know the answer, but many in power don’t want us to.


I have followed and what has unfolded may portend what is coming for me. It is pale and seems beyond my control..

In Wine There Is Truth


"There's No Normal Life There's Just Life. Now Get On With It."

"I've Not Yet Begun To Defile Myself."

"My hypocrisy goes only so far."

"I'm Afraid The Strain Was More Than He Could Bear."

"I'm Dying How Are You?"

It may be coincidence that "Tombstone" revolved around alcohol, tuberculosis, standing for something, and death. Not knowing why some things happen and wishing for the visitation of others. Also, facing your other self and finding that destroying the other brings your own demise.

I am dying how are you?


I don't agree that drunks' always speak their truth. I find they also often speak what they are afraid may be true or wish was true not knowing what they believe is true and wanting a relief in stating one of these or having the experience of seeing how any of them stated honestly.

One of my favorite cinematic scenes.

TOMBSTONE Clip - Doc Holiday meets Johnny Ringo


En vino veritas. [Latin: "In wine is truth".]

Credat Judaeus apella, non ego. [Latin: "The Jew Apella may believe it, not I", loosely meaning "I do not believe drinking is what I do best".]


(Rest in peace.) The line "Credat Judaeus Apella, non ego" (Let Apella the Jew believe, not I) was confusing to viewers; scholarly papers showed that Romans used the phrase to show contempt for Judaism's belief that divine power was involved in everyday life.

Credat Judaeus apella, non ego. [Latin: "The Jew Apella may believe it, not I", loosely meaning "I do not believe drinking is what I do best".]


This was the theme song of treating and teaching my beautiful wife.
She was not aware of the first part, but was so beautiful in her total ignorance. I still cannot explain it all.

Céline Dion - The Colour of My Love



I do so Love Richard Marx, he should quit that.

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