Poised
By Cathy Jameson
I’m no stranger to the onslaught of questions the medical field throws at me about vaccines. One of our doctors finally stopped asking when would we “catch up” on some of the shots my kids’ records were “missing.” After years of hearing me say politely, “Not today, thank you very much,” as brightly as I could while trying to change the subject, that particular doctor stopped asking. Our presence in that office is usually for more pressing reasons--a major illness, or the need for a referral for Ronan as he experienced new medical problems. I wanted our doctor to attend to my children’s present medical situation, not on recommended vaccines from an over-inflated vaccination schedule.
When I do request medical attention for my kids, the pediatrician now says, “So, no shots today,” as a statement instead of an accusatory question. “Yep, we’re good. Thank you,” is how I’ve learned to respond. It reduces any further discussion on both of our parts. I can get in and out of the exam room with exactly the information or referral needed. She’s been happy to help us with Ronan’s many special needs and is more than accommodating to make sure we get to a specialist when Ronan’s problems exceed her expertise. I appreciate her professional input over the years, and I know she respects me for what I’ve learned and shared with her about Ronan.
The doctor’s partner though, hasn’t gotten used to us. He doesn’t know my vaccine-injured son’s background. On top of that, he is one of those Type A persons: “follow the directions and rules and don’t deviate from the norm.” He is the epitome of what I imagine a scientific textbook doctor looks like. While I think that’s a great trait to have, if you don’t bother to actually read the patient’s record to become familiar with his complicated past, or don’t bother to understand the human being standing in front of you, your textbook scenario isn’t worth crap.
I’d heard only a little bit about this new partner. Since it was my first time to meet Dr. Type A I prepared my “thankyouverymuch” response to whatever vaccine insinuation he might throw at me. One or two colds and sometimes the seasonal flu is usually what brings us to the pediatrician. Sometimes we throw in an emergency room run just for good measure which gives me at least one new gray hair per child. I’m used to minor medical mishaps for my typical kids because their health is fairly good. It’s quite the opposite for their brother Ronan who has a team of at least 8 medical specialists at one time. Usually, to bring my other kids to the doctor’s office means something’s not right. That day, a regular check up brought us to the clinic.
At this yearly check up before we got too far into the exam, the nurse asked, “What vaccines will the children be getting today?” The way she worded the question told me there wasn’t an option: she was doling them out. So, pick one, or two, or nine for that matter. Since the nurse was also new to the office, I explained ever so politely that we didn’t need any vaccines today and then distracted myself with my daughter so I wouldn’t have to look her in the eye. Why am I getting so nervous?! I thought. These are my kids. It’s my responsibility to make the decisions for their health needs! I stood up taller and asked the nurse if she was going to do any labs since I hadn’t prepared the girls to go through a needle stick or for the pee-in-the-cup routine.
The nurse was writing on the intake form and said, “So, no shots today? You know they are both due for some.” Um, library books are due, and bills are due. My girls are not due for shots today! Nah, I didn’t really say that. I didn’t have the guts to say it like that. Instead, I replied, “We do the vaccine exemption. Dr. J is aware of our family’s needs. Thanks.” Dr. J, head of the practice, wasn’t there that day though. We got stuck with her by-the-book partner, Dr. Type A. He, as well as this nurse, knew nothing of my son Ronan’s vaccine past and why I’ve opted for the delayed vaccine approach.
I got nervous. For a second I thought maybe I should leave and come back some other time when our regular doctor was in. I knew the potential to be lectured by a medical provider was great given our record. I didn’t want to hear, ‘No shots?! Pshaw. Silly Mommy, vaccines save lives!’ I had a second to decide—stay, or go home. Drat. In walked Dr. Type A. I could tell instantly that we’d clearly struck a nerve as the partner pediatrician held the sparsely filled out shot record page. He barely looked up to greet us. Briefly scanning the room, he looked again at all those empty boxes on the form. I had 4 of my 5 children with me so space was tight in the exam room. I don’t think he offered a greeting but stuttered into a, “Um, well, I see that….you aren’t going to vaccinate today?” He sputtered this out while trying to hand me the empty vaccine record the nurse had printed. But, he refused to let go of the form. I wasn’t sure what his first move was going to be, and I could tell he was stupefied. Now I was officially nervous.
Out poured his questions, “You know the children need their vaccinations. You know they are very late to get them. See (showing me the form). You know we can catch them both up today? What is this, that you home school? Don’t you have to have shot records for that? How long have you done this…homeschooling?”
I stood and watched him unfold. I couldn’t speak because there wasn’t a chance to answer any of his questions. He spoke so quickly, almost attempting to not give me a chance to speak. Maybe he did it that way so he could say everything he thought he was supposed to say during a “well-child” exam. I started to respond, “My older son has special needs and the little ones are…,” but he quickly interrupted. Clearly I’d confused the poor man, so I let him verbal vomit once again.
Dr. Type A suggested a list of vaccines readily available and waiting to be injected into my children. While pointing to the shot record again, he reminded me of Vanna White. What a great rep he was for the vaccine industry! “Look, you can get this one, and that one! Oh, and do get this one over here!”—the list was extensive. He described which diseases my children would be most exposed to. He told tales of which symptoms from those horrid diseases they could succumb to. And then, the doctor tried again to sell me on which shots could save their lives.
Silence. He finally breathed for a moment, a very quick breath that made him stop talking for a very short second. That’s when I quickly interjected all in one breath, “Thank you for being concerned and sharing your opinion. We use the vaccine exemption. As far as the homeschooling, we have records. Only one of my kids is in a regular school right now and the school accepted the exemption form.”
Then, I laid into him, “My other children are very healthy…when you say you think they need Hepatitis B, do you realize that you are suggesting a vaccine for a disease that is usually transmitted through illicit sex or IV-drug use. Look at my kids (they were almost 3 and 4 years old). That behavior is far from their reality. And, you suggested the varicella (chicken pox) vaccine? If you had looked through their medical records prior to the exam, you would see that four of my children have caught chicken pox naturally. They don’t need that vaccination. Which other ones did you say?”
I attempted to peer over his clip board to hold the shot record he was still clutching, “This one, Hib I think you said? From what you’ve described as an ideal age to get that vaccine, my kids are well over the age of being in danger of the very scary risks.” Then, I immediately stopped talking. I couldn’t tell if I was speaking to a wall or if the doctor was getting ready for round 2. We both stood still waiting for each other to speak. My oldest, who had stopped playing with her siblings, was taking in every word. She was wide eyed waiting to see who would speak next.
Movement. The doctor started to move toward the door to leave. I saw him begin to ‘doorknob’—a term I’d learned in a psychology class back in college. Dr. Type A looked like he was ready to leave me and my informed decision, but he really was not ready to be done with the conversation. He held the doorknob, twisted it but then dropped his hand. He came back to the middle of the exam room. Maybe he had a new angle or a new argument for me. Maybe he was going to attempt to again seal the deal of what he probably expected to be a regular vaccine-injecting “well-child” visit. I met his gaze while my youngest three quietly played with the toys on the floor oblivious to how Mommy was defending them and their healthy bodies. I wasn’t nervous and actually felt a bit hot under the collar. I prepared myself one more time. Oh, boy, I thought, here comes the hammer.
Dr. Type A started again. He brought up third world countries and how deadly these diseases are overseas. “Do you know how devastating it is to see those diseases in third world countries? They could be prevented by vaccinations!”
Why do doctors do that? They bring up third world countries like that’s going to scare the heck out of me. Last I checked he and I were standing right here in the good old U.S. of A. I looked around the room baffled that this was the last card he was going to play. I didn’t think it appropriate to have a discussion on the history of sanitation and how our U.S. health habits are far more advanced now than some countries will ever be. I’m sure he was aware of that already, so I didn’t mess with his intelligence. But, I did let him continue because he stopped trying to spoon feed me his input and instead asked for mine. “How do you protect them, Mrs. Jameson? What if you can prevent these diseases?”
It was my turn to take a deep breath, “We are careful where we bring our children. We don’t expose them to other people when they are sick. We stay away from people when I know other people are run down. I make sure to keep up with the health news--if there are communicable disease outbreaks in our area we stay home. Look, we lived through whooping cough and chicken pox. Of course it was hard for the kids. It didn’t feel good, and the chicken pox itched like mad. We were stuck at home for almost six weeks as the pox went from one child to the next through all four of them. My fifth child was in utero during that outbreak, but look at her now; she’s healthy and typical. We survived childhood diseases a vaccine is supposedly going to prevent. My kids have immunity to chicken pox—I’d rather that assurance than hearing vaccine efficacy wanes after a few years. My kids are healthy, and it’s because we take care of them. We eat well, and we are mindful of what goes in their bodies. It’s not that difficult to understand, Doctor. If you can provide me with some facts that state that these vaccines will protect my children 100%, and if the vaccine ingredients aren’t going to do harmful things in their bodies, I’d consider vaccinating. Until that happens, we again respectfully ask for the exemption.”
I think I wore the poor guy out. He nodded and wrote something down. Then he walked out without saying anything. The nurse came back a few agonizing minutes later to do a lead test for my youngest. Dr. Type A came back in one more time to give us the paperwork to drop off at the front desk. I don’t remember too much of his parting words, but he gave us the once over almost as if he’d witnessed a once-in-a-lifetime moment — children… doctor’s office… leaving without vaccines. Huh.
I didn’t think it possible to confound a medical professional as quickly as I did. I’ll have to add “Baffles doctors to make them think” to my list of super powers.
Wouldn’t it be great if the little bit of input I shared would start changing the tide of the medical profession so that the vaccination mindset might be changed, one doctor, one nurse at a time.
Every office visit, every encounter reinforces my philosophy: educate before you vaccinate. After all, the kid you save may be your own.
Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.
You. are. A ROCKSTAR. I LOVE YOU CATHY JAMESON! xo lj
Posted by: LJ Goes | October 09, 2011 at 11:50 PM
My style is much more like Jen's, steely cold. I could not bring myself to say "No, thank you," to a vaccine. I'm more like, "You'd better smile when you say that to me, stranger." When we went to the doctor in April to get a checkup so my daughter could do horseback riding, it was the first time in five years that we had gone to a doctor for anything. I told the doctor about my daughter's reaction to the hep-B vaccine given to her at birth without my knowledge, her encephalitic screaming for four days and nights, the dismissal of it by her then pediatrician as colic, and this new doctor made no comment at all, just wrote down every word. I said I wouldn't let her get a tetanus booster for any reason, a tetanus booster paralyzed both my arms for two days when I was nineteen, and I subsequently developed MS. Dr. Drass didn't insist, even though my daughter's last tetanus was in 2005, and checked her as OK for tetanus. I told her neither of us would ever take another vaccine for anything!
Posted by: cynthia parker | October 05, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Thank you Cathy-I loved that story. I've lived that story but I don't think I am as brave as you. After reading this though, I will be better prepared to stand my ground. How I usually get out of the "shot arguement" with the Dr. is I respond by saying, "Until someone can tell me what happened to my son (regression), then I'll think about gettting shots. (I never will give any of my children anymore shots, anyway) but she can't answer that question nor can she tell me what the ingredients are in any of the vaccines or flu shots. One of my friends just told me that she doesn't want to know the ingredients in the flu shot that she's in a hurry to have administered to her children-she just does what the Dr. says. I'll be doing the opposite of what the Dr. says-that's why my children are healthy.
Posted by: Sherry | October 05, 2011 at 08:30 AM
Cynthia, funny you should say that about unvaccinated children, my grandchildren are unvaxed and they have have zero ear infections...occasional one two day colds, thats it. And no, I am not riding off the herd immunity bandwagon...it's all bogus if they bring that stupid science up...what is happening here is we are reversing the damage done by generations of vaccinators. Weird enough, my vaccinated kids never get sick, nor do I...sick as in colds, flus (their sick is epileptic fits, if you call that wellness)...anyways, when persued on the question from there then pediatrician, "but Kathy, I never see them here", I began to tell her, do you think my kids are well with autism? Seriously? They have gut problems, seizures, mitochondrial collapse and dysfunction, is that the new "wellness"? If you have autoimmunity to everything, you rarely get sick...ask any chronic fatigue mother if she has had the flu in the last five years...again, is she well? Is being overly exhausted with brain inflammation again, the new "wellness"? I guess what is sickly to them is a child with ADHD, obesity, asthma, autoimmune diseases and food allergies? If you mention autism as a sick state, they go, huh? It's all genetic, stop fussing on it's your fault scenario. The cards were played and you got the bad hand sort of thing... Skewing TH1 and TH2 is a funny business...and funny meaning, it can create new diseases that "they" love to treat with pharmacrap. They know perfectly well what they are doing! They are creating future business by creating unwellness! Go on ahead and compare the lifestyles of the rich and famous to yours, the one where our realities are, with sick children and MD deniars and insurance for nothing that works for them. Indeed, this insanity has to stop, and it has to be bold as the protesters on Wall Street at this point.
Posted by: kathy blanco | October 03, 2011 at 01:49 PM
Had my son with autism at sick clinic last week for a suspected ear infection. After diagnosing his active ear infection, the doctor proceeded to ask if I wanted him to get his flu shot, which I politiely declined. I stil can't believe they inject sick kids with anything!
Posted by: Diane | October 03, 2011 at 10:29 AM
I have philosophical exemptions for both my sons against vaccinations at both their schools. In addition I have taught them both that if ANYONE, ANYWHERE comes at them with a needle they are to run in the opposite direction and scream " STRANGER DANGER!!".
Posted by: Michelle Wandrack | October 03, 2011 at 12:42 AM
Thanks for sharing your humorous and nerve wracking story. It's something we all dread with each new appt. I usually go with 'we've got an exemption'. and try to end the converstion. If the doctor still pushes, I say "I'm waiting for better conclusive independent research before I make a final decision".
On a different note: I have 2 dogs that where immunized as puppies, but I went to a holistic vet that follows research showing they don't need boosters, except for rabies as required by city law. One dog has allergies possibly connectect to vaccination, and I had to take him to the allopathic vet. She's very aware of my stance of pet vaccines, but snunk in a distemper combo shot when she thought I wasn't looking. I said "What did you just do?" I could tell by the look on her face this wasn't the 1st she snuck in a dog vaccine. I complained and got money off the bill. Thankfully, the dog is ok, but his allgeries are worse. But if someone did that to my kid, heads would roll!
Posted by: Heather | October 03, 2011 at 12:33 AM
I had both my sons at our Peds office last Thursday for a follow up of Noah's latest case of cellulitis (his immune system can't handle any type of infection and always turns into cellulitis)as she doorknobbed to go she turned and said,"when are you bringing them in for their flu shots?". I responded " we don't vaccinate anymore, remember?" She smiled and said " that's right, I keep forgetting". I'll keep reminding her. :)
Posted by: Michelle Wandrack | October 03, 2011 at 12:32 AM
Australia
You often wonder if the constant hard push from doctors to vaccinate is to claim an incentive under a scheme known here as:- Medicare Vaccine Incentive.
The doctors are only allowed to receive their incentives once the vaccine schedule as been completed for each individual.
My doctor received his full incentive with my daughter, but never with my son!
I had his medical staff track me down (I had moved twice) 12 months after my son was due for his 4 yr old MMR.
It was a very quick and abrupt conversation with the girl when I refused to have my son vaccinated with the MMR.
I still keep in contact with my doctor who is a three hour drive away. He will always be the family doctor for my children because;- he knows that I know what he knows about the vaccines!
Elizabeth
Posted by: AussieMum | October 03, 2011 at 12:29 AM
nhokkanen--I have an ER doctor story that I'm waiting to write. I'm still too miffed to at what he said to me at that visit (it was 6 months ago!).
Posted by: Cat Jameson | October 02, 2011 at 11:03 PM
I would love know what percentage of a pediatricians income is from vaccination?
And I wonder whether pediatricians still get bonuses from the vaccine manufacturers when defined benchmarks are met.
Posted by: Paul Shapiro | October 02, 2011 at 10:41 PM
AMAZING POST- THANK YOU!!!!!
Posted by: Julie L. | October 02, 2011 at 09:57 PM
Nice how you held your ground. It amazes me that vaccines are treated like food and water instead of potentially dangerous drugs. "What! you don't want food and water for your kids?" Your story really illustrates what well visits are for. My unvaccinated kids went to the doctor fewer times than I can count on one hand in their entire lives before reaching adulthood and moving out. So Docs who see children on a regular basis are by design, the vaccinated ones. They wouldn't know what to do with an unvaccinated kid because they are unusually healthy and rarely seen by the doctor.
Posted by: Cynthia Cournoyer | October 02, 2011 at 09:56 PM
I can't believe the doctor didn't ask about their food, what are they eating? Are they getting enough vitamin D through sun or suppliments? Are they getting enough exercise? So many questions about health yet all he did was examine them and then wanted to inject them with vaccines, most of which they didn't even need. What a terrible doctor.
It is so nice to read about a mom standing her ground. This insanity must stop. The "one size fits all" vaccination schedule is too dangerous and needs to change. The reason people are vaccinating less is because more and more kids are becoming vaccine damaged and everyone knows it. All the fake news reports won't change the fact that your child, grandchild, friend, neighbor, etc. was fine one day and very sick the next after receiving a vaccine.
Posted by: ln | October 02, 2011 at 09:47 PM
nhokkanen;
How many of our kids have had a temperature of over 103???
That is not normal for the rest of the kids.
When I was growing up it was 103 and that was the max, that I was ever familiar with??
Posted by: Benedetta | October 02, 2011 at 09:03 PM
How many parents buckle under that pressure? How many children are injured by Type A doctors? I am so impressed by you Cat. I shudder for the rest of the parents out there...
Posted by: Cathy | October 02, 2011 at 08:46 PM
This reminds me, of how it is for us parents, to go to any medical clinic, hospital, or DR's office now days. Forget about what you came in for, how about a nice cocktail of vaccines, we will give your child a cute sticker after the shot and lollipop too.
Gosh don't let your kids out of your sight at the DR's office, or ER! Its been a few years, but our son was in the hospital over night, just to have an MRI. After many hours of struggling to get our son to finally sleep in the hospital bed. Into the wee hours, I got awakened, to be asked if my son's vaccines were all up to date, by a medical Student!!
I thought SERIOUSLY? Thats important at 3 am?
Thankfully I had not gone to the bathroom, or they may have brought a tray of vaccines to inject in my son.
As our kids grow up, we have to teach them why they are not getting vaccinated, and how to protect themselves too!
Posted by: Allie90 | October 02, 2011 at 06:59 PM
I would be curious to know more about the lead test. Drawing blood is traumatic for young children and I have heard that the finger prick test is inadequate.
Thankfully increasing numbers of medical doctors and dentists are refusing vaccines for their children. They still need to be vigilant when visiting the pediatrician though. An injection is quickly done. One horrified doctor friend told me how the pediatrician wanted to vaccinate an unwell child (reason for the office visit).
Proper etiquette among adults is if someone calls you by your first name, you can call them by their first name. I request medical doctors and support staff to call me by my family name and title.
Posted by: Rosycurler | October 02, 2011 at 06:53 PM
My line, when anyone asks about a shot anymore, is "you'd have to shoot me first."
Posted by: Jen | October 02, 2011 at 04:51 PM
We used to be worried about doctors being seduced by pharma salesmen: now they are becoming the salesmen themselves. Cathy's experience is that of the hard sell: just the situation you don't want to get into in a shop or at your front door. But surely for the profession the price in trust is just going to get higher and higher.
This is also a very different position from when there were just a few shots. Now we have many shots: some for diseases which are not usually life-threatening and some for diseases that are rare, but the load simply builds up. On that basis alone the balance in the equation of "immunological insurance" becomes quite simply absurd: even if you set aside our common experience that it often turns out badly, and there are huge unknowns in what you are actually doing.
But while in the past we just had to dodge the unfortunate people who ended up trying to earn a living in this way, we now have super-creeps - at least you do in the US - who could do very nicely without. In the UK it is still just coming but it looks as if in the next 5-10 years - our government want to radically commercialise our National Health Service - the two systems will have pretty well converged with both nations having the worst of both worlds.
Posted by: John Stone | October 02, 2011 at 04:34 PM
Good for you Cat!
Our doctor just never even asks anymore. My oldest son's 5yo boosters (3+yrs ago) were the first time I rejected "mandated" vaccines (we have never gotten the flu shot). At that time she might have said something like "vaccines are important to prevent disease but I understand your concern." and that was that. We have never talked about it since. Even when I brought my AU son for his 5 year old visit, she knew not to even ask and the nurse didn't ask either.
I just last week had a similar experience to you as I took my older non-au son to the doctor for a skin issue (autoimmune?) and near the end of the visit, the doctor, not our regular, turned to my son (the EIGHT year old) and said "how about we get you a flu shot?" I was so taken off guard that I had no logical or witty response. Offering a flu shot to an 8 year old? Yoohoo, I'm in the room and I make the decisions about this, not the 8 year old. All I could come up with is "we don't do that". Of course, after we left I thought up 10 things I should have said. What I did do was talk to my son and my daughter (11y) about how they should never ever allow anyone to give them medicine or shots without mom giving the okay. Now, especially with the CA bill, we really need to have these discussions with our kids early and often.
Posted by: Kristine | October 02, 2011 at 04:16 PM
Bravo, Cathy, for conveying such important information in such a rational manner. I think if my kids weren't around, my choice of words would have been somewhat less diplomatic....
Two years ago an ER doc gave me "the lecture" in front of my sick, scared son. I couldn't believe that I had to explain to that man that his conversation was inappropriate -- further scaring a child with a 104.7 fever just so the doctor could self-aggrandize. And display his utter inattention to my son's medical records.
Adding insult to injury was the red-dye & sugar-loaded popsicle the nurse brought. Sheesh.
Posted by: nhokkanen | October 02, 2011 at 04:12 PM
My wife and I never go to a medical "visit" without the other present, especially if it's an appointment for our son. It's two against one. Bullies ie your common pediatrician hate that because it takes the wind out of their sails.
Also, my experience has been most doctors are sexist, even the women docs, and they just love getting another woman by herself to intimidate. So if you can, always try to have a spouse present, or a grandparent who is on your side and knows the ropes when it comes to the indoctrination/intimidation spiel.
If I had the money, I'd come strapped with my own lawyer to every single medical visit. No one should be made to feel this intimidated, especially for a service industry that's way overpriced and overhyped.
Posted by: Josh Day | October 02, 2011 at 04:10 PM
Cathy, you did an awesome job of holding your ground. It's so hard for many of us to speak up when we are passionate about something and are feeling pressured or bullied by the other side, but you did it!
BTW, the girl next to my daughter at Uni wants to be a doctor. She has brought every swim/rowing medal and award she's ever won and has hung them on her wall. My kid avoids her like the plague because she goes on non-stop about herself. Sheesh! I know they're not all like that but sometimes I think med school needs to look at kids who maybe get /70's and /80's but have actual people skills!
Posted by: Jen | October 02, 2011 at 03:35 PM
At the ER the doc always asks if the child is up to date on vaccines, I say yes..and the conversation is over. He doesn't know me, and a sprained ankle doesn't require an mmr.
I took the youngest four in for their required school checkups, and DIDN'T get the rant!! I got this...if you take your children abroad please consider polio shots...if you hear of a measle epidemic please consider bringing them by for a vaccine..and DO NOT take them up the road, "those Amish do not vaccinate and often are the cause of local epidemics". Ha!! I smiled..the best visit ever..but so wanted to say, who do you believe..after all we've been told the Amish do vaccinate and it's a mystery that they don't have ASD!! Best part..he dug this up as I was doorknobing.."you know vaccines don't cause autism and the guy who said they did has been discredited"..hmm I said..and that was about all vaccines?!!!
Posted by: barbaraj | October 02, 2011 at 02:58 PM
Good post Cathy, many of us have been in that same position as you and understand exactly what you went through. We’ve also experienced that wonderful moment when the doctor realizes his “because I said so” explanation just isn’t going to cut it anymore.
That doctor works for us. We are paying him or her to assist us with our medical care. We are hiring them, just like we’d hire a contractor or an auto mechanic. We are the consumers.
The medical system is set up to reinforce the exact opposite notion. How many call their doctor by first name? They have no problem calling us by our first name but we must address them by title. Can you imagine doing that with anyone else you hire? Consider stewing in the waiting or examination room until the doctor eventually decides to come by. The implication is that we are lucky to see him when the exact opposite is true; he is lucky we are hiring him. It’s as bad as dealing with the cable company. Does the white smock serve any functional purpose other than having a few extra pockets? Its purpose is a vestment, as defined by Webster’s: “an outer garment; especially a robe of ceremony or office”.
By design, allopathy has the trappings of a ritualistic religious denomination, complete with the implicit instruction that one is not to question the dogma. They don’t handle it very well when those paying their salary question their authority.
Posted by: Jeff C | October 02, 2011 at 02:27 PM
Thanks Cathy, your article will save someone today, think on that. I am at peace with my decision to educate, and my mouth will not be closed. My kids deserve that kind of voice and outrage.
Posted by: kathy blanco | October 02, 2011 at 01:41 PM
Kathy,
I always appreciate your comments. I haven't been brave enough to answer quite like you did at the flu shot table at Costco. When I see those make-shift set ups at the stores I usually scurry by hoping not to give the technician enough time to try to wave me down. After reading about what you were able to do with such confidence I just might find my "inner Kathy Blanco" the next time I see one though and reply just as you did. It is well past time for more of us to publicly say NO WAY nice and loudly.
Thanks, Cat
Posted by: Cat Jameson | October 02, 2011 at 12:24 PM
"almost as if he'd witnessed a once-in-a-lifetime moment" -
I saw a similar look when I took my daughter to the ER some time ago. The nurse who was taking notes asked if my daughter had had her flu shot. I replied that my daughter has a medical exemption. The nurse then asked "What about the Tdap?" I repeated that my daughter has a medical exemption. The nurse responded (very incredulously): "To BOTH of them?!" After I said yes, she gave us that look.
But no one said anything else about vaccination after that.
Posted by: Carolyn M | October 02, 2011 at 12:06 PM
Am reminded of a hymn which crosses over to this movement!
We are all enlisted till the conflict is o’er;
Happy are we! Happy are we!
Soldiers in the army, there’s a bright crown in store;
We shall win and wear it by and by.
Haste to the battle, quick to the field;
Truth is our helmet, buckler, and shield.
Stand by our colors; proudly they wave!
We’re joyfully, joyfully marching to our home.
Posted by: kathy blanco | October 02, 2011 at 12:03 PM
He probably was thinking, damn, I can't get that bonus check at the end of the month if I don't keep the pressure up on parents...it's his bread and butter, and I am sure the wifey enjoys all the perks too. Yesterday, I had a few choice words for vaccine nurses at a costco flu vaccine clinic. It was choice. A mom walks up with two children by me, and the woman looked at me, mind you, with my autistic adult children in tow, while the nurse looks at me and asks...would you like a vaccine? I couldn't stand it...I couldn't hold back, and I quote "no thanks, today it's not good for us, you see, it contains mercury and aluminum, known abortificants, neurotoxins, possible contaminants, retroviruses and sneaky immune destroying ingredients that I can use without"...it was then the mom ask, does it have mercury in it? I asked the nurse for the package wrap on the box, and told the mom, if it contains thimeriosol with 25mcg, do not take this shot I beg of you...then after that, ask how much aluminum is in it, and other known neurotoxins and ask yourself, is this something I support going into my kids bloodstream and remaining there for life? I said someting Ayoubee, like, known abortificants, but I think that term flew over her head...the mom unnoticingly walked away. I slapped a vaccine information card down (from VIC) and walked away knowing I might have saved two children today. I wish I listened to that inner spirit in me over thirty years ago, that said, take your baby and RUN~! Had I listened to that still small voice, I would not be in this predicament today, autism, seizures, mitochondrial issues. Cathy, I am so proud of you for standing for truth. I am so proud of every mom who does not get hoodwinked into believing vaccines confirm health in children, in fact it does the direct opposite. We should all rehearse the speech we should give, be super educated, have vaccine info cards, whatever cue cards we need to voice these concerns. And lastly, remember, pediatricians are not required to care for your children...there are such things as homeopaths, chiropaths and naturopaths who are non believers in the vaccine bandwagon. ACAM doctors are often non believeres, so check into their society, and even consider less vaccine happy GP's. I know it's hard moms...to stand for this truth. But we must do it.
Posted by: kathy blanco | October 02, 2011 at 11:59 AM
There are mainstream peds who will listen. My son had the same ped since he was a baby. He just had an annual physical and his ped was amazingly cool (in a good way) when the subject of vaccines came up and I took a pass on boosters. He was very respectful, no lectures. I feel lucky that I can still see my sons ped and not feel pressured. We'll stay with this practice til my son ages out.
Posted by: Sarah | October 02, 2011 at 11:27 AM
... If you can provide me with some facts that state that these vaccines will protect my children 100%, and if the vaccine ingredients aren’t going to do harmful things in their bodies, I’d consider vaccinating. Until that happens, we again respectfully ask for the exemption....”
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This comment is why your doctor finally gave up. Because with that comment you had your doctor dead to rights, and he knew it.
When my son was diagnosed with autism, I was devastated beyond description. My son was a normally developing child until he regressed into autism, ahead actually on most of his developmental milestones. And although my son's doctor had no explanation for his sudden regression, she did offer that “the science" was leaning towards genetics as the most probable cause.
That comment washed over me at first, due in large part I believe to the numbing effect of the news she had just delivered. But when I started coming to terms with my grief, her comment started re-playing over and over in my head. My son was the first case of autism on mine or my wife's side, as far back as either of us were able to trace. If autism was a "genetic disorder"... who the heck did he inherit it from? And wasn't it just a little odd that this first case of autism in two long lines of unaffected families... just happened to emerge at exactly the time when the incidence of autism was exploding worldwide??
At the time of that realization, I still had no idea what had caused my sons regression. So I set out to find out, and quickly discovered that vaccine injury was the most highly suspected culprit among parents of autistic children. This for me was my second darkest moment, because apart from challenging everything I was ever taught about vaccines, it also meant that I had played a role in my own son’s injury.
So I set out to prove this theory wrong. The first thing I did was get copy of my sons vaccine record, and found to my horror that he had received 31 vaccines by 21 months of age: 2 were mercury containing flu shots, 6 were administered in 1 visit, and those 31 vaccine included his first AND second MMR shots. Since my wife and I take a lot of pictures and videos, I compared them with the dates for the shots he was given. And a crystal clear pattern of vaccine damage emerged.
The last thing I did was begin a search for irrefutable scientific proof supporting the safety and/or efficacy of ANY vaccine. That search started in 2006... and I am still looking.
Posted by: Barry | October 02, 2011 at 11:04 AM
Great story, and just look at what your little ones learned by watching that unfold in the exam room: that yes indeed, you CAN stand up to, argue with, and say "No" to medical professionals. (otherwise known as the 'Supermom sneaks valuable life lesson into regular community outing' phenomenon) Nice job!
Posted by: Donna L. | October 02, 2011 at 10:58 AM
Part of the medical training they get dehumanizes them. It's really weird.
Posted by: wondering why | October 02, 2011 at 10:39 AM
I had an 'interesting' conversation with my paediatrician without expressing himself directly he just said...
"They do the damage and we fix it up ... " I'm not actually sure who he was talking about it. We were talking about the immune system not vaccines. He also isn't big on the food industry and BPA baby bottles...
My son has ASD plus severe asthma , eczema , life threatening anaphylaxis reactions and the numerous other types of allergies. Getting our grass cut has become lock little Johnny in the house time.
My son was always high maintenance since birth so I could never sincerely point the finger at one moment in time or vaccine, but I have read widely on the immune system and ASD..... and it makes me think. (A lot)
In the end I'd just like to get it sorted a bit if I can improve his quality of life ...well every one here knows what that means.
Having said that he's not doing to bad...we have more trouble with his immune system than his autism.
Any way Good Luck to everyone of you. I and others are always appreciative of your stories.
Posted by: Fellow autism dad | October 02, 2011 at 10:15 AM
"What is this, that you home school? Don’t you have to have shot records for that?"
This little outburst shows the whole you-need-shots-for-school-so-you-don't-make-other-kids-sick thing to be a canard. It's more like, they hold education hostage in order to (attempt to) force your kids to buy a product.
If your kids are home-schooled, they're not exposing classmates to germs--why would they need to have shots? (And, haha, your kids *do* have shot records: they have a record of not having had shots!)
Good for you, Cathy. Great conversation and great article. It is hard to be brave, even when you're right.
Posted by: Theresa O | October 02, 2011 at 09:43 AM
Beautifully done and beautifully said Cathy. I'm always so impressed by parents who can have this kind of conversation the way you did - carefully, thoughtfully. It's so emotional for me and I feel so defensive. It feels so hard for me to share my views intelligently and in a manner that the other person could take in if they chose to.
Posted by: Alison MacNeil | October 02, 2011 at 09:02 AM
You are too kind, Cathy. I am so totally fed up with the medical profession. I no longer think they deserve my respect but rather, that they have to earn it.
The last doctor I saw, Harvard-trained and quite sure of himself in every respect (and quite sure that I knew nothing since I wasn't Harvard-trained), was actually physically shaking by the time I got done with him.
Posted by: lisa | October 02, 2011 at 08:57 AM
I try to keep my child out of the medical loop, and we don't have a pediatrician. However, my son has had a few procedures (ear tubes, MRI) in the last couple years. Both times, when the admitting nurse asked "immunizations up to date?" I told her no, and I told her exactly why. Both times, the nurses responded with stories of vaccine damaged kids in their own extended families!
When I took my son to a geneticist to be worked up for mito disorder this man said quite openly that vaccines can damage mDNA and cause regression. So many people in medicine are well aware of what's happening. They don't do anything about it for two reasons, I think: they are afraid to lose their jobs, and they have been brainwashed to think vaccines are inevitable.
Posted by: julie | October 02, 2011 at 08:53 AM
I too have seen the look that comes into a doctor's eyes when a patient says he knows better than the teaching of the world's finest medical schools; and it is a very, very, powerful look, packed with emotion as the doctor's years of hard work to qualify are declared to be invalid by somebody without a medical qualification to his name.
I wonder about the look those doctors will give themselves in the mirror the day they discover the harm they have done the children that have come to them for care, how they will reconcile their consciences, and how many will self medicate with a sufficient dose of something that ensures they will never have to look at themselves again.
That level of emotion overrides reason.
Posted by: GH | October 02, 2011 at 07:28 AM