Clue In
By Cathy Jameson
It was done by the health care provider in the exam room with the syringe.
I used to play the game Clue when I was younger. Strategy, a few friends and a couple of hours filled my afternoons. We were preteens-turned-detective using our imagination to guide us as we questioned "Whodunit?" playing the board game. Someone always found the evidence. Someone always pieced the mystery together. Someone always won the game. Someone always put away the game pieces and stored the box until next time. Piecing my son's health back together after his vaccine injury reminds me of the game Clue. When looking at all of Ronan’s evidence - his physical health and then deterioration, his mental abilities and then disabilities, his emotional growth and then delays - I conclude that it was done by the health care provider in the exam room with the syringe.
Sadly, after making that conclusion, there hasn’t been a ‘Game Over, I win’ moment where I get my formerly healthy kid back. I’ve been on what seems to be a never-ending mission to bring back some bit of normal to Ronan’s life since connecting the dots to his problems. My mission has included the hunt for the right people to help my son. Finding the means to afford those people and the intervention Ronan needs is a daily challenge as is the faith, courage and perseverance to stand up for Ronan’s rights when someone tries to take those necessities away.
I can’t turn his clock back to when Ronan was typically developing, but I can also never forget how it all happened. Even now, with years of handling all of Ronan’s medical, educational, therapeutic and emotional needs, I still feel blindfolded and sometimes blindsided. It’s taken a great deal of work to create strategies to make things better for Ronan on a daily basis. Things go wrong, a major glitch happens, and I’m back to looking for clues, putting puzzle pieces together and wondering who or what ultimately is the culprit.
Ronan’s much-needed therapy is like the elusive object of the game Clue. The difference is that in the real world, it’s not a straight line to the library or the kitchen or to his school room. It seems that Ronan always has to pay an admission fee or a penalty if he wants to move forward. Detours along the way are not uncommon. One of the latest occurred when Ronan took some “time off” from therapy because we hit a snag with insurance. As I muddled through paperwork and policies, Ronan was the one who ultimately suffered. But, as with everything else he and I have experienced along this journey, we found something to celebrate and to keep us moving forward.
It was during his therapy “break” that we celebrated Ronan’s birthday. Oftentimes I never think he’ll make it to his next birthday because of how sick he gets. So, I was really excited that we had another milestone to enjoy. A week before his birthday, Ronan’s little sisters helped me find a number 8 candle at the store. It was with much fanfare that they picked just the right candle. My typical children were so giddy the night of Ronan’s birthday party. They invited Ronan to the table to see his lighted glittery, red candle and perfectly baked gluten-free brownie dessert. With a slight twinkle in his eye Ronan recognized the birthday table cloth and birthday banners I had streamed across the dining room. It didn’t take him long to detect a tasty treat was coming so he quickly got settled in his chair.
Ronan with his Grama; he is signing “candy” and said, “Yum!”
Normally either my husband or I blow out Ronan’s candle, but that night I looked at Ronan at the end of his happy birthday song and said, “YOU have to blow out your candle.” I brought the plate of brownies closer to him. He looked at me and blew toward me. With the right positioning of the plate, the candle at just the right angle to welcome his breath, with his super excited siblings cheering him on, Ronan blew, and blew and blew once more. With a final intake and a forceful exhale, Ronan did it! It took several attempts, a little bit of spittle on the brownies for good luck and a mountain of faith to snuff that candle out. No matter that blowing out a candle should be a taken-for-granted action; for Ronan it represented another “look what I can do” victory.
Enjoying victories like snuffing out a candle gives me the desire to continue to investigate more strategies for Ronan. Seeing Ronan gain and use his new skills in such a celebratory way gave me the energy I needed to resolve the insurance snags that caused yet another delay. I fully expect Ronan to blow up his own balloons for his next birthday party since he’s blazed through that task soon after returning to his regular therapy schedule.
Two months after blowing out the birthday candle, Ronan is able to blow up a balloon! The crayon is there for size perspective.
I forced myself to look to ahead toward positive possibilities for and with Ronan when he added another candle to his birthday cake. I did this because I do mentally slip and dwell on the past. I would much rather close the file on this thing, his vaccine injury. I want to put the negatives and the pain away in a box, and store it in a closet forever sealed and forgotten. It is all so consuming though, and it stares me in the face everyday.
I can’t give up though. All the sleuthing the two of us have done for each other - Ronan in being more able to do for himself, and me as I grow mentally and emotionally stronger - confirm that he’s uncovering solid skills and future potential. That’s proof positive that we’re on the right track. Hopefully this path, even with the interruptions along the way, will give Ronan more victories. I just wish it didn’t take so long to get to that reality. Both of us have had to work through struggles to celebrate what others might take for granted. For Ronan, and for me, it’s just what has to be done.
The parent is solving the vaccine-autism mystery in the den at the computer with the internet and a vast network of friends…
Cathy Jameson is Contributing Editor to Age of Autism.
VACCINES CAUSE AUTISM
Moving post Cathy, you appear to have lifted a page out of our lives and put it in AOA. I could just type Dido underneath your article and get some author credit for my name.
Kind of like a ghost written artifice from a pharma journal with the main differnce being everything you write and I dido to is true and everything pharma and their lackeys write and swear is science is simply another multilevel marketing lie to push vaccines under the monikor of "science".
We write out of love and pain and seeking simple pleasures from delayed but happily accepted devlopmental milestones or even the hint of approaching a milestone
They write out of a closet that holds a never ending fountain lies greed and insanity.
Quite the dichotomy
In any event this one could have put me over the emotional edge into the abyss as it were, into my usual and non productive morass of "what if's".
Yeah you almost got me Cathy, again
This of course is the wrong direction to go in so I refuse to go there. Your piece becomes my source of motivation so, instead even though I am tired I sit up straight and I keep fighting, looking for another natural antiviral, thinking about the immune system and how I can modulate and regulate it, praying being positive and not afraid because God is my God and I will not be afraid I will be hopeful and faithful and I anticipate my successful and thoughtful resolution to this puzzle.
Thank you for your inspiration Cathy Jameson !!!
VACCINES CAUSE AUTISM
Posted by: Willie | March 09, 2011 at 02:32 AM
It was the lobbyist, in the conference room, with the sack of money.
Posted by: Garbo | March 08, 2011 at 06:02 PM
Go Ronan! Go Ronan!
Thank you Cathy for such a wonderful piece!
Posted by: Erika | March 08, 2011 at 04:43 PM
Thanks for sharing stories of Ronan's progress -- the incremental gains mean so much to him, and to us. Exciting stuff.
Posted by: nhokkanen | March 08, 2011 at 02:40 PM
painful times, thanks for putting into words my life, my pain, my sorrow... different plate, same cake
Posted by: anotherdaymorepain | March 08, 2011 at 01:07 AM
Happy, happy birthday Ronan. I always read your articles, Cathy and they always bring tears because I recognize myself in your pain and I recognize my sons in Ronan's struggles. Keep doing what you're doing.
Posted by: Kim Davis | March 08, 2011 at 12:08 AM
Thank you Cathy and congratulations Ronan! Personally, blowing up a balloon is a big accomplishment for me as an adult.
I keep praying for the progress and restoration of our children/teens/adults. My daughter refused to change her color coordinated flip-flops for more weather appropriate shoes today. Progress?
Posted by: JenB | March 07, 2011 at 09:47 PM
Thanks, Cathy, for this piece. I want to offer you a further word of encouragement. My son is 13, and, while not completely recovered, he is unbelievably better than he once was, in so many ways I cannot enumerate them all. It has been an extremely long road, but all that work does pay off, many times in very big ways.
There was a time when we had to fight the school system to keep Noah on the Standard Course of Study. They simply did not see the ability we knew was in him. If kids cannot communicate well or at all through words, all the "experts" always assume that means they are very mentally impaired. But our kids are in there, locked behind the walls that all our work slowly tears down. They are always listening, absorbing, thinking. My husband and I have come quite a long way from the early days of going toe to toe with school officials that seek to take the easiest and least resistive path possible. Recently we had a school official comment in an IEP meeting, "Noah is perfectly capable of getting a diploma." It was such a relief to know we do not have to fight that battle any longer. Now we move onto the next one.
I wish Ronan and your family all the best. I truly believe great things are coming for the kids of all the mothers who work so hard. Trust your instinct; it is right.
Most sincerely,
Allison Byrd
Posted by: Allison | March 07, 2011 at 08:12 PM
Cathy, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! i have had a truly heinous day. Meltdowns, crap everywhere. NT kids saying, "I hate autism our life is so hard!" Thank you for the gift of perspective, and the knowledge that while it feels like it, I am never every alone. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo lj
Posted by: lj goes | March 07, 2011 at 05:29 PM
Words have meaning. The meaning of a word can change the world. Let’s analyze and deconstruct the meaning of the sentence:
Mandated inoculations are crimes against humanity.
Mandated inoculations with neurotoxic metals, endocrine disruptors, phase transfer catalysts, ionophores, and non-human DNA, are crimes against humanity.
Humanity has a God-given right to opt-out of this barbaric practice.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parens_patriae
“In the United States, invocation of the Parens Patriae Doctrine is constrained by the constitutional Parental Liberty Doctrine.[4] This has the effect of limiting civil rights abuses caused by unjustified government interference with minors.”
Posted by: patrons99 | March 07, 2011 at 10:17 AM
By the CDC’s own definitions and diagnostic codes, mandated inoculations are child abuse. Mandated inoculations represent assault and battery upon the citizenry. Was Ronan’s vaccine injury a case in point? Are the Arizona 5 a case in point? There are profound God-given inalienable rights at issue here. Mandated inoculations represent crimes against humanity. The doctrine of "parens patriae" in which the state asserts authority over child welfare, should be revisited in the context of state vaccine mandates.
“Child Maltreatment Surveillance - Uniform Definitions for Public Health and Recommended Data Elements”
http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/dvp/CM_Surveillance.pdf
“The ultimate goal of CDC’s child maltreatment prevention activities is to prevent child maltreatment before it occurs. To do this, CDC uses the public health model in which surveillance is the first step.”
“Avoidable illnesses are those illnesses that are preventable or induced as a result of denial of medical care, withholding of medication, or failure to immunize against typical childhood diseases Examples include sexually transmitted disease, Munchausen’s Syndrome by Proxy, Pediatric Condition Falsification, and deliberate failure to immunize against a vaccine-preventable disease. • Inadequate nutrition is defined as a failure by the caregiver to provide nutrition that is adequate for growth and physical development. Examples include hunger, malnutrition, and failure to thrive due to poor nutrition.”
E961 (all subcodes)—Assault by corrosive or caustic substance, except poisoning
E962 (all subcodes)—Assault by poisoning
E966—Assault by cutting and piercing instrument
E969—Late effects of injury purposely inflicted by another person
E995.55—Shaken Baby Syndrome
The ICD 10 codes for child maltreatment may include:
Y07.1—Other maltreatment syndromes by parent
Y07.2—Other maltreatment syndromes by acquaintance or friend
Y07.3—Other maltreatment syndromes by official authorities
Y07.8—Other maltreatment syndromes by other specified person
Y07.9—Other maltreatment syndromes by unspecified person
As is the case with ICD 9 codes, additional ICD 10 codes for Assault are commonly used for cases of maltreatment when the victim fits the age criteria for a child. Again, exercise caution because these codes do not always indicate maltreatment. The codes include:
X85—Assault by drugs, medicaments, and biological substances
X99—Assault by sharp object
Posted by: patrons99 | March 07, 2011 at 09:34 AM
i stumbled upon this news tidbit just minutes ago;
"Japan halts vaccines after deaths of 4 children
AP - Monday, March 7"
here is the link: http://ph.news.yahoo.com/ap/20110307/tap-as-japan-vaccines-stopped-4cec4ac.html
the article says that the vaccines came from the US and were made by Pfizer and Sanofi Aventis..
Posted by: burningbush | March 07, 2011 at 09:07 AM
Thank you, Cat for always being so peaceful and hopeful when you talk abut Ronan and his path to health. Even at the 18th birthday, I don't give up or stop looking for those clues to turn back the clock and restore functioning for my Megan. Having so many of us on that same path keeps me grateful and thankful.
Posted by: Teresa Conrick | March 07, 2011 at 08:05 AM