The child is autistic you dont leave them alone. There is a reason why the child is diagnost autistic. My son is 13 years old i cant leave him alone for a second. Its my job to keep him safe and others around him. We have to try our best.

Tavon was my little cousin and I appreciate all of the comments of people who understand what it's like to care for a child with autism and who have expressed their condolences. Please keep your other ignorant feelings to yourselves because it is easy to judge when it's not you or your family. My aunt loved Tavon very much and needs all of the support she can get right now dealing with this. She has no home, lost her son(grandson), and is under arrest for doing something that other parents do everyday. How would you feel?

Such supportive comments from those of us living in the Autism community. I agree with everyone above . . . been there, done that. I am "lucky" - we have had Respite/ResHab since 1997. However, there has been no "new" money in NYS since 2001. And now, with all the budget cuts in New York State, and "cease and desist" orders to halt all development of any new programs . . . it's hard just to sustain existing programs. I know families of the younger kids who are on waiting lists of 5-6 years plus. Sadly, Tavon's family was probably among them. OMRDD Comissioner Ritter and Governor Patterson - please listen!! These families need your help!! I think a RIP section is a good idea.

Re: editors note.

It's a war. I have decided to declare war --that study said our stress is the same as combat stress... Well this Army girl decided that the punishment should fit the crime.

And we all need to declare war. On our doctors, school, media outlets, etc.

The more I think about this, the angrier I get. I couldn't even list the number of times my autistic child almost died. I always say he must have some seriously vigilant guardian angels. He has escaped through many layers of locks too many times to count. We have had to call 911 more than 3 times. He has leaned too far over railings. He has come so close to falling off of retaining walls. He has darted into traffic. He opened his 2nd story window and pushed the screen out. He has climbed into the dryer and the oven. He has pulled bookshelves on to himself (at school, our furniture is bolted to the wall). He climbs on top of the entertainment center which is about 5 feet high and laughs and jumps around. The only reason he is not dead like so many autistic kids is because we have been lucky. You can never, never be vigilant enough. We do what we can.
I cannot believe they are charging this poor woman. The boy was 11 years old, this is a normal age to leave a child to run to the deli. I'm not even sure a normal 11 year old boy wouldn't get a hairbrained idea to microwave a phone. If he wasn't autistic, would they charge grandma?

I think there needs to be an RIP section as well. It'll help shock the hell out of reporters who call me wanting comments about our state pulling respite care funding due to budget shortfalls. If we could have them all in one place it would be easy to refer people to who say autism isn't deadly and why autism families need so much support.

Many 11 year olds are just starting to babysit other, younger children. I hope the court recognizes that the 59 year old grandmother was probably doing the best she could under the circumstances. This is starting to get scary- all the kids who run away, are killed by exasperated parents or have fatal accidents like this. It's a wake-up call for sure. My prayers are with Melinda and the rest of the family.

Reminds me of those comments from "the Other side" who state that they'd rather have the security of "herd immunity" than worry about autism (you know, 'cause the autism rates are just so low).

Then you hear stories like this one. Would measles or chickpox have killed this boy? No, a nueropathically damaged brain (or autism) ultimately did, probably due to the vaccine schedule.

Kim, there absolutely needs to be a section that has all the stories of the deaths, kids who have wondered off, and kids that have hurt/killed their parents. Unfortunately the stories would accumulate quickly and maybe more would notice when they all sit together.

Recently, I went to the next room to make my son a bowl of oatmeal, which takes one minute. I returned and my front door was open and my son was gone. There is a latch on the top of the door and I religiously check and double check it several times a day. The one time I didn't. I ran faster than I thought was possible and was within 30 feet of him as he approached a busy road running and laughing. By a miracle, he stopped and I was able to catch up to him. I will never be able to remove that memory from my mind. No one else would have run that fast, not grandparents or babysitters. The fear sits in my chest about who will be there when I am gone. Right now, the answer is no one.

My heart breaks for this little boy and his family.

I think this Grandmother is already going through a lot. I pray that she finds peace in her life now that the Autism nightmare is over and the new nightmare for the fight of her life and freedom has begun. She will forever feel guilty of leaving the house.

I wonder what my parents would do if my spouse and I were to die. Would they know what to do? Would they be aware of the dangers? Would they even be willing the take on the task of caring for our child for the rest of their lives? Would they become involved in Autism Community Groups? Or, would they keep our child hidden in the house to never be heard or seen again?

Seems like there will never be enough awareness of Autism because there are so many differences on the spectrum. I faintly hear the drums that are beating for the revolution and each day they get louder and louder.

I think we do need an RIP section. Except, we are just preaching to the choir. No one outside of autism can fathom what its like for us.

Experts won't even acknowledge the numbers are growing, so they certainly aren't going to acknowledge that a tremendous number of caregivers are in crisis.

Terribly sad. We are constantly making hard choices like this. I am in no position to judge this mother (grandmother). If he was not autistic, she would not be charged. If he was 35 and still had the same mental capacity, would she be charged? I cannot imagine being a grandma and raising a child, let alone a severely autistic child. And I've certainly felt the dread when I realize that we desperately need something at the store and my child is in a refusal-to-wear-shoes phase. I usually just make do until my husband gets home. Sounds like in this case, grandma was the only provider.

Sad all the way around. This child died because he had a life-threatening illness- and as more children get this illness, more children will die. Wake up.

I forgot for a moment that people who care for those with severe needs that require constant attention aren't super human.

It's a sad story. RIP Tavon.

I wonder why she left him alone if he already tried to nuke a cell phone in the microwave?

But, you are right Kim. Above all else- we need respite.

Most 11 year olds can stay alone- that seems to be the acceptable age. Some can even keep an eye on siblings for short periods of time. Many responsible kids can start babysitting around that time.

Most of us can forget all that.

Many of us can never leave our "autistic" children even adult "autistic" children in another room let alone "home alone"- ever.