Absolutely Your Child Can Be Toilet Trained!
By Debbie Bialer
The developmental level of your child is not relevant. Whether he is non-verbal or has any interest in toileting is also not a factor. Yes, I cracked the code and that's why I wrote Teach Toileting. I want share my knowledge and skills with struggling and frustrated parents. Theyoften tell me how they would have their child sit on the toilet for hours or take him to the bathroom every half hour with no success.
So, why is it that this seemingly common sense approach fails? It fails because the toilet is a strange thing outside his comfort zone. The effect of this is to cause the child to hold his pee until he can return to his comfort place. This is typically not a random site, but his usual place to urinate. With the home being the most familiar environment, it then makes sense that the couch, computer or even a special corner would be his most common place to pee. When he is in an uncomfortable place which can include school, any outing or even the bathroom, your child can display incredible control and hold his urine.
Parents mistakenly believe this holding/running to mean that their child knows exactly what he is suppose to do because he runs to his special location to pee. This is an inaccurate interpretation of this behavior. Understand that what makes toilet training so challenging is that your child is resisting change. He is not purposefully resisting the new skill of toileting.
Some children are just the opposite and pee all the time, appearing not to be able to control their urine. This will change too, as you delve into my approach. Your child will learn what is necessary in order to move to the next step of self-initiating. My book, "Teach Toileting: A Revolutionary Approach for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders and Other Special Needs" covers this and other important characteristic by providing you a step by step process for achieving successful toileting results.
My book simply and clearly presents that missing piece to understanding the holding, the fears, the comfort and the process of change. That is why my method is unlike any you have tried or heard about. And best of all, no charts. My greatest gratification has come from the validation and endorsement I’ve received from families who successfully conquered the seemingly insurmountable toileting challenges faced by an autistic or special needs child.
Debbie Bialer is the author of Teach Toileting and is available for consulting.
Hi, my daughter is 4 1/2 and has autism. I have tried to toilet train her but it's like she can't cope with the feeling of the wee leaving her body. She is very sensory with taste, sounds etc. any ideas? X
Posted by: Rachel richardson | August 12, 2015 at 09:35 AM
I taught my son, who has severe Autism to use the toilet in one week flat when he was 2 years 10 months old. The key: prior to the week where we threw ALL diapers away (none at night either) my husband and I took Andrew to the bathroom with us every single time we went. We did this for about 4 months prior. Going into the bathroom with us and us being very non chalant about what was going on, while making it clear that this is where pee and pop went was the key!
When the diapers got tossed outside in the dumpster, with the help of my son, we just strolled into the bathroom, in the new underoos, and started. Then it was just taking him to "try" to go at normal times, like when he woke, after meals, and before naps etc...
a week later, he was using the toilet with no accidents.
I think too often toileting is sprung on kids who are unprepared so it is no wonder they resist.
Posted by: Jan | February 17, 2010 at 09:58 PM
Don't give up on the potty training...we had tried many, many times over the years...and by the age of seven, assumed pull-ups would be around forever. We don't know why, but our son suddenly potty trained himself shortly before his eighth birthday (last week). He is completely potty trained...no accidents...no help needed...he is severe and nonverbal...it will happen...just keep trying every year...
Posted by: Barbie Hines | February 16, 2010 at 07:09 AM
We tried many methods over several years to toilet train our son with autism, but nothing worked until we started giving him methyl B-12 shots. Within a few weeks of starting the shots, he was suddenly able to toilet independently without accidents. I'm convinced he had nerve damage that prevented him from knowing when he needed to use the toilet, and the B-12 healed those nerves. It was nothing short of miraculous, and I'm thankful his doctor was willing to--pardon the pun--give B-12 a shot.
Posted by: Pam | February 12, 2010 at 10:30 PM
In trying to potty train my son, who was 5-1/2 at the time, nothing was working (including seemingly silly suggestions to try from a behaviorist) until an online friend suggested that we try digestive enzymes. Within three days of giving him the enzymes in his juice before meals and large snacks, my son skipped past us to the bathroom, saying, "gotta go potty" and that was that.
Not only that, but after having chronic diarrhea for three years (not to mention malabsorption and not growing at all for about a year and a half), once we started using the enzymes, my son had his first solid BM in three years. Mind you, none of the above was diagnosed by any doctors, it was by my own observation only. When I mentioned his diarrhea, I was told, "oh, that's just something they do" meaning those with autism. Even better, an intern actually said to me, "Gee, you obviously know more about this than I do..." and handed me a prescription for fluoride supplements. I said, "fluoride??" and the intern said, "oh, yeah, it's a vitamin." My partner and I both said at the same time (unrehearsed, I swear), "It's a rat poison!" Is this what they are teaching young interns these days? That fluoride is a vitamin? Needless to say, we left and have never gone back.
Posted by: MacGoddess | February 12, 2010 at 08:31 PM
I know of many kids who were able to toilet train on their own after being placed on a diet free of their allergens and were treated for Candida. This also cleared up sensory issues that kept them being able to do many self-care skills.
Posted by: Liz | February 12, 2010 at 11:47 AM
We had no luck with all the behavior interventions, potty parties and "methods" taunted by many.
You know what worked for my son?
I took him out to a creek in the woods behind our house. I pee'd in the water. The splashing got his attention. By the 3rd time it caught on.
The only problem for awhile was that when ever we'd be at a park with water - well there's the bathroom!
Posted by: D'sDad | February 12, 2010 at 11:06 AM
I just ordered this book. I am so excited. the "traditional" ways of training is just not working. I can't wait to try this. Thank you!!!!
Posted by: Jennifer | February 12, 2010 at 09:48 AM
Ben likes to pee outside in the yard. Will do it on command. He will even tell us he wants to "pee-pee in the grass" So one night at bath time when Ben wanted to pee outside in the freezing cold my wife Erica had the bright idea to bring the grass to Ben. She put the grass in the toilet and he peed. Prior to this he wouldnt pee in the toilet. We have changed the grass to easter egg grass, to now just shredded paper. It's a ritualistic routine and we cant deviate from it but its working. We can get him to pee a few times a week during the day but most of the time he will still use his diapers. Of course we are using less and less "grass" until hopefully he wont need it. We have also backed off the high praise because if he cant pee he will stand there forever trying and you cant budge him. "Where's the pee-pee daddy, where is it? Is it in the peanut? Why wont it come out?"
Posted by: bensmyson | February 12, 2010 at 08:55 AM