Mom with Autism Talks About Sky Walker Matricide Case
Managing Editor's Note: I received an email from Sondra Williams, author of "Reflections of Self," (HERE) last weekend. Sondra is an adult with autism. And a Mom. She writes eloquently about the Sky Walker matricide case (HERE) in Ohio. Thank you, Sondra, for sharing your thoughts with our readers. Kim
By Sondra Williams
My name is of Sondra an adult with autism spectrum disorder. I to have of more of an HFA presentation as adult but not as a child. I to be of live in Ohio and my question is of is it possible after the trials things that one can pursue a legal action against the state because of their lack of systems that failed him and created this ugly outcomes for him. And use of the settlement money if any be awarded to open a new facility that is of a residential facility for those with autism who are of aggressive and escalate to such levels for the safe of their own being and others. And once that is of in place have him moved to that facility. And even name it after hims mother. The state failed of this family and he is of one of our most vulnerable and is of punished for their lack of direct care to him when he has needed it yeara ago but could not obtain it? They failed him and point the blame to him. Sick world we live in.
Much of my own life was of locked and over medicated and restrained and locked into cell rooms with mattress on the floor and no bed or things because of the fact there was of no place for me when I to succumbed to the crisis and escalations of SIB and agitations and aggressive outbursts. So this story itself is of making me quite ill but what is of making me more ill is the way much on the various list turn their backs away from such stories , as if wishing it away but this could be of any of our sons, and how would we be to have felt if those in the autism community turned of their backs to our child in such cases and left of him vulnerable to the systems.
It sickens me to know of the heart of so many might have of compassion but not willing to discuss or be of proactive to this.
Autism is of so many things but often only to those who are of much higher functioning and or Asperger’s is it just a different frame of mind, but to me it has been of my hell much of life……the only things life powerfully teached me was the humans were to be avoided because they would cause of me great harm. My life grew up in mental wards designed for adults with mental illnesses and drug addictions and so it left me vulnerable to that situation and not appropriate for a child, Because of being of a female and also reacting to much abuse and neglect my presentation was of intermeshed and most were of not looking at autism in females so was of misdx much years much much year. And finally correctly dx with autism spectrum in 2001 and confirmed by 3 psychologist and 3 psychiatrist of autism. Not asperger’s type.
Only now as adult and getting some good for me correct to me therapy I to be of discovering I to have a voice and choices and that I to be of safe now in this life. I to never will be of cured and still go to crisis levels and fight or flight responses and can become depressed, agitated and such t the point of being of much suicidal because can’t seem to find a way to function well in the life outside of my home much.
My computer is of my voice box to the world and outside of scripted routine words my world because a mess.
Please do not let of them treat of him this way. Hims mother can in no way ever rest in a peaceful fashion as long as he is of not well. He is of being punished enough by removal of the home, not having hims main source of love and care being there for him, he has no awareness of where she is or why she is not coming and why he cant go home to the only place were all of hims life is.
The sad is when one looks at the parents who murder their children of disabilities they are of often given less punishment towards them when they killed with intent and he not having the ability to be aware and did not do anything with intent is of punished by far more harshly.
Please be of to help of him. I would be of to give all I ot have of to help of him but lack what to do and not know of how but to use of my words from my computer.
sondra
Sondra Williams is the author of Reflections of Self (HERE) , a powerful and insightful look at life from the perspective of an adult with high-functioning autism. Her articles and poetry beautifully illustrate the unique strengths and challenges that she experiences. Topics covered include general information about what it is like to have autism, as well as Sondra?s perspectives on her 18-year marriage and her four children (who have all been diagnosed with ASD), her childhood memories, the therapy that has allowed her to discover and value her real self, and her faith. This book is an excellent resource for parents, grandparents, professionals, and individuals with ASD!
Momof3ASD We had to take our son of gluten as that was making him unmanageable then everything else free, sugar etc.Then the computer and You Tube saved our life.We structure his day clear times for this and for that, then computer when he gets back etc.Outdoors as much as possible.Very sorry for you your daughter and family all the kids are different but have a lot in common as well dietary,behaviours,etc.
Pharma For Prison
MMR RIP
Posted by: Angus Files | July 07, 2019 at 06:05 PM
My daughter ( non verbal and 9 years old)has quickly become very aggressive over the last few months, so much so that I don’t feel safe bringing her out in public because she might be triggered by sounds or changes and attack someone like she has been attacking me. She is triggered by so much right now, especially little kids and babies crying, and when she hears that she tries to hit them! So we have become further isolated now and can’t be around friends or family with small children for fear on their safety. As the school year ended I found out that she had been hitting teachers and other student in her life skills class, she hit a student so hard in the head that he had a minute long seizure and that’s when they decided to share that this was becoming a problem, not in her daily communication log, but at a meeting where they informed me that they would be doing “room clears” to protect staff and students. The school says they don’t have to report these behaviors to me unless SHE gets hurt, not when she hurts others. Since school got out her behaviors have gotten much worse. She wants to be with me and me alone constantly and fights care givers who try to help. She wants to go in the bathroom with me and if I try to deny her she will hit herself or bang on the door until I open it. Her brothers are terrified of her and her personal support workers have been less able to help me with her. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want our journey to end with her alone in a residential facility. I see Sky’s story and it hurts my heart so much, I cry for her because I feel like she is so similar to him and I don’t know how to stop the escalating violence. I’m trying to understand Sky’s story and find answers to help her, but there is not a lot out there about severe autism and adolescents. If I take her to the doctor they will just throw meds at her, meds that usually do the opposite of what they’re supposed to do. Obviously communication is the big picture, but she doesn’t even want to use her voice output device or PECS, get aggressive when presented with them and either try’s to hurt me or herself. I feel lost and scared. If I show case workers the bruses I have now they’ll recommend residential treatment, doctors will happily give her antipsychotic drugs, but neither of these seem safe or right for her. I feel for Trudy and what she was going through with Sky. I imagine them in the kitchen, her having had enough and trying to put her foot down, likely over food, and the rage that fallowed. it breaks my heart over and over to think of what she must have been feeling and what transpired for Sky after.
Posted by: Momof3ASD | July 07, 2019 at 03:17 PM
I to wanted to share today the Autism Advocate is of being of released and I to have of an article in it that was writed on parenting. it was much hard work and editied and cut and such so the orignial does not look like the final at all but it is of still good, I to been of not seen of the magazine yet for self but they plan to mail of me a few copies.
I to share a metaphor of much of the life people tried to teach me to fly and I to tried and tried, but one day realized the reason couldnot fly was because I to been of born with fins.... those in life seeing of this should have been of responsible enough to teach me how to swim not fly.... so not I to be of learning how to swim in life and gave up the trying to fly.
sondra
Posted by: skw | April 01, 2009 at 01:35 PM
Sondra - great post, thanks for sharing your insights. From your words to God's ears, I hope that nutrition focused facilities of the type you describe become accessible in every state that are prepared to manage autism related frustration and aggression in older individuals without criminalizing or over medicating it. I wish I could write a little Monopoly "get out of jail free" card for my son, though I know he would never need it.
Posted by: jruch | March 31, 2009 at 08:14 AM
dan my last post I to promise as hyper posting this night,
Much people of say this to me that my words are of like poetry...
I to think this way all of life in melody and music others cant be to hear with their ears but I to hear it in my being,
I to also be of a metaphorical thinker. (I to not get others metaphors though) but my brain thinks in abstract metaphorical fashions.
I to also be of a much literal interpreter.
recently I to been of watching a tv show and the lady told of the man lets have of dinner and ketchup? that is of what my brain heared and wondered why she wanted of Ketchup for supper and thinking Yuck and my tummy was of getting sick to that thinking then a family member looked at me and sayed Catch up mom..... meaning to share about each others lives since they had not seen each other in time. I to hate that part of my life the literalness because most then assum eof me as being one who is of stupid and not smart and I to be of want to be of seen as a person who is of smart intellectually even if not in reality. I ot have of a different sort of smart not a over all smart.
sondra
Posted by: skw | March 30, 2009 at 09:55 PM
Rileys mom, I to was of non verbal for the first 3 1/3 years of my life then began of the echoing and then by age of 6 had of some words to get of some needs or wants but not many and many assumed of me to be fo greatly shy because did not look them or use words to them, but the one things is of to know will share of my memory of my language, even before words would hear sounds that were of like a glittering effect that seemed to leave the lips of people and float above them having no meaning or retained sounds that formed any meaning to me in the sense of how tpyicals describe memory or language. odd though it was as if the words went in and were of stored there and cant explain of it but not in a true memory but a stored rote memory of word sounds. then later because loved of soda began recognizing this sound of the bottle being opened and could hear the fizz being or released and happened to be of watching one day and associated that sound to be soda and it was of my first memory of sounds having a meaning.
but while was now aware that sounds were with meaning and or formed words that eventually had meaning to me , still rarily understood how to use them for COMMUNICATIONS as that was of a long time for me to learn that.
the language development of me was of much odd in developing and lack why the strands of words or sentence structure never seemed to get retained of how to use of words. I to struggle greatly to verb tenses and some tell of me will use past, present and future all in the same sentence and so some do not know if I to be of referring to the past or present or future in my words. I to also lack awareness always of how to use and when to use of commas, periods, question markds and such. for me the english grammar has too many exceptions to the rules and tease often should be been of born a latina because the spanish language makes of more sense to me and often many have assume my beign was of that and did of the same structure of spanish in trying to translte it to english but not so.
but anyways for years and years tried hard to not make grammar errors or such so in most settings did not speak unless guided into a script and or when first began of the computer the spell check and grammar check was of there and used of that much so to not be of noticed as different this was before I to understood of my own autism by professionals, but most shared my words appeared stiled scripted and still corrected of me of the grammar and it began to still shut of me down from using words, but then decided once I to had of the official dx not to try so hard to work words or letters or structure because it took away from me as a person, while it was of self adaptint it was of not healthy for me./ so I to began to just learn to be of okay to be of self and it did cause of me much OCD and anxiety in doing this and the to be's became a strong need in my words because for one the BEEEEEEEE sound was of comforting so it was for self like placing comfort words into my words to calm self as i to attempted to communicate how my brain really functions in words and felt of so much relief to not have to keep of working words , it was like taking a year of German and not feeling fluent in it but yet expected to communicate to others in German only and so it left of you with much barriers and needs to stay in scripted words to communicate what little you could with more advanced german speaking people.
I to be of not only self adapt or stay strong into scripts in my speaking events only. I to be of do well in them and can use of my words which appear to be of very fluent but they are of more very overly rote memorized scrtipts that can do with more ease after doing them so much.
so the person in words you to know of me by in the safe zones of lists or computer places for me are of the real of me, outside of this will be of a stilted rote memorized scripted me, most like of the real of me.
sondra
Posted by: skw | March 30, 2009 at 09:48 PM
Tracy sorry you to felt the need toleave but i to understand as for some the cure words tend to me terrible things and yet not think the cure word is of a good word to use around those with autism because it makes us seem as less than human and not acceptable beings.
but when looking at the medical things of autism yes I to see of cure to that and to me the goal should be of improved health and if cure come then it is of a double blessing but if not you then have of a healthier child in the end.
I to agree that more medical doctors need to understand the biomedical and or medical issues that seem common to autism and seen in many. I to have of much of them such as the gut issues and hyper sensitivies to many things including medications. I to also have much issues to hormone and cant take of birth control pills with estrogen but the recent one placed on and not making me ill is of one with just progesterone. so far it does not make of me ill.
I to be of severe vitamin D defecient though and not have of clues to why as the medical logic to it makes of no sense as for self out to the sun much so and have of much exposure to the sun light and if use of any sun screen it is of to teh face only. but for self my level is of 14 a child with a level of 13 can be of to get of rickets. I to have of much pains to my body and much weak and fragile immune system. I to ge to ill easily and yet while ill easily cant recognize or localize where the source is of coming from because not register pain as others. in the past had of bronchitis, strep and double ear infection and felt had of headache is of all with a cough. was of much sick and ahd of to be on much high dose of antibiotics because of the infections being as such.
my behavior yes does change much so before any symptos is of know such as fever, cough or sick tummy things, the behavior noted is of sleep is pervasively different and either sleep much less than my normal 4-5 hours or will sleep much of my day and have of no energy.
I to also get of more stummy , agitated and yes can cycle to SIB this is of why to always RULE OUT medical before to assume a behavior is of a behavior.
for years suffered much from colitis and it is of very painful gut issue, it was much of my life but the family of me never had of me to the doctor to have of the tummy issues looked at until a teen ager person. but I to know it caused of me great pains/
there are of many models to anyone who is of disabled and I to think it important to look at the medical and social model closely and in an intermeshed fashions for the emotional growth and health of a person of autism.
sondra
Posted by: skw | March 30, 2009 at 09:26 PM
puncuation duly noted, mr. olmsted.
kim, ee fan herself. sondra fan too.
Posted by: Stagmom | March 30, 2009 at 05:58 PM
as i was reading this i thought, this is pure poetry, and then i saw that you do write poetry. ee cummings is smiling down on you.
Posted by: dan olmsted | March 30, 2009 at 05:37 PM
Thank you Sondra, you are an inspiration to me. Keep contributing to AoA, keep writing, we need you too. My son is completely non-verbal. I know darn well there many things going on behind those big blue eyes of his.
I live in Portage Co Ohio. I tried to see if I could be of any assistance to Sky (paralegal and mom/autism advocate) but he was moved before I could get involved with him here. Does anyone know if Dr Reed is still his doctor or did they switch him to another because of the move? I'm just curious because I think it would something that should be brought up...GF/CF. It sounds like this kid could really benefit from it.
Posted by: rileysmom | March 30, 2009 at 02:00 PM
Dear Sondra, Thankyou so very much for telling us about your life and thoughts.I am a person who has autistic kids in my nursery school and it really helps me a lot to have an idea about what an autistic child may be thinking. Of course I think your ideas about Sky Walker are excellent.
Posted by: Cherry Sperlin Misra | March 30, 2009 at 01:39 AM
Thank you Elizabeth, for bringing up the MSG and glutamates! It is a huge issue (excitotoxins) for my Meg and many with asd and I always forget to add it. Some of the gluten free foods have soy and others have "natural flavors" so I have to read all labels as just gluten free will not suffice
as these others can cause pain and aggression.
Posted by: Teresa Conrick | March 30, 2009 at 12:32 AM
Sondra,
We communicated through an egroup for girls with autism a few years ago and I always cherished your posts. I had to leave that group because of the overly opinionated views of folks who were not accepting of the community at large.
I have a 14yr old daughter who has had major negative reactions to all of the reccomended drugs for OCD and aggression. The prescription that has saved our lives is birth control. Why it wasn;t the first thing tried is because it doesn;t have the payback to the doctor and healthplan that a generic birth control pill does. My daughter's mood swings/aggression are now controlled by hormone therapy in the form of birth control pills and it has saved her and us from placing her in a group home.
I hope that you and your family is well,
Tracy
Posted by: Tracy | March 29, 2009 at 11:43 PM
Sondra I am deeply grieved as I read Sky Walker's story but grieved as well by your history of misdiagnosis and restraints.
We must all strive to reclaim those who have lost dignity, suffered abuse and been stigmatized by Autism.
I was very alarmed that this poor child had even been declared fit to stand trial.
May we come out of the Dark Ages - quickly.
Praying 4 U! Please keep writing until the world sees.
Posted by: karenatlanta | March 29, 2009 at 10:58 PM
Sondra, your insight into Risperdal is astounding to me. If only parents who choose this drug read your comments and knew how their own children might be feeling.
We ran a post about the lack of true studies on Risperdal - the data may have been faked to assure approval for the drug company. I'd like to run your comment here over on that post as well - I'll email you for permission.
KIM
Posted by: Stagmom | March 29, 2009 at 05:34 PM
Jane did not know he was of resperadol as I to been of that one too and it was of the worse drug ever for me in this life. I to gaiend of much weight almost of 70 pound sin 3 or so months, wet of the bed every night in floods not just slight accident, drooled and began of tardive issues, I to also had of no monthyly and began of lactating as if were of nursing a baby. they had of me on so much medication could do nothing but sleep most of my entire 24 hour day.
it was still for me undx autism at the time and the symptoms they seen were of all parts of autism but they were of only seeing parts of the whole and not putting all the parts together and thus over medicated as if the more the better and the more the less autistic I would of be to them.
in my of my past mental health records of the late 1990's much of the nurse and doctor notes shout of autism and yet none dx of me of it. was told was mentally ill and mild retardations. some of the things shared odd posture, no eye contact, odd pacing, long bouts of being of non verbal and not responsive and would not begin any task even though verbally told what to do unless one was in my space and began to physically get me to begin through prompts and cues of one to one. rigid notes of need for the same nurse to be in on the clinics, and the odd confused appearance of fear and such and then much also comment on the flat affect of me emotionally. One doctor asked of the husband over my eye contact and the husband shared it has been that way all or our marriage and dating time and that it was not new, the doctor asked of him do you think of that as odd he shared no it is of just her.
but anyways reperidol was of the culprit to me that eventually lead of me to be of locked away to massilon state hospital with very serious mentally ill people. yes much scary life when autistic and not have a voice.
Posted by: skw | March 29, 2009 at 05:17 PM
I read his Grandfather was allowed to bring him his favorite comfort food, "chicken Mc Nuggets." ;( MSG and gluten! :( There is his problem right there. His gut brain ain't happy so his skull brain ain't happy. The idea of a medically oriented secure facility is an excellent one. Naturally nonverbal individuals whose guts are on fire have temper tantrums and lash out even when they aren't overloaded with stress and MSG.
Sondra I have found if I avoid MSG I can avoid the melt downs that cost me my Parents love and which had made me a recluse for fear of harming someone. I turned down 4 marriage proposals. Melt downs weren't the only reason but they were a big one. The FDA allows this neurotoxin to hide in foods under 30 different names including "natural flavoring" which may or may not be MSG. Google it. I only have had one melt down since going off of it and that was because I either ate something with MSG in it, or i went hungry. I chose not to go hungry.
They are coming out with glutamate lowering drugs soon and that will be a new era for our kind. These will also fight stroke damage, mental retardation and some schizophrenia.
I too was misdiagnosed as schizophrenia by an Atheist Psychiatrist who thought my writing a book about Heaven was a sign of psychosis, that and my wooden face, lack of interest in fashion and boys and the fact most of my friends were the neighborhood Dogs. The two years on melloril I had less social anxiety but no skills to be successful there and could get not one creative thing done. I found out about tryptophan and got off of it, then later found out about non REM sleep destroying antidepressants and they really DO help. I have sleep apnea, knew it in Middle school but could get no help for it until a clinic lost my records at the age of 32 and what it said in there about my mental state.
I now have my Asperger's syndrome diagnosis framed and hanging on my living room wall! :) Knowing what i am has given me great confidence and I am writing a book that I will have the courage to publish. It is going to be called, "How God Exists and will be the opposite of Dawson's book. Dawson is God's Rottweiler." I am God's sheep dog. I will gently herd back into the fold what the Rottweiler scattered and using his same material: science.
Like you the Internet is my window to the world. It even lead to reality space friendships with other Autists I met online. It is doing for Autists what American sign language did for the Deaf. I hope you know about http://www.secondlife.com and the cheaper, less materilistic http://www.worlds.com I am on worlds.com and am called OmegaSeeker there.
We are bonsai tree Humans. Our neural nets have been pruned drastically. But what is left is very, very, VERY strong.
Posted by: Elizabeth Hensley | March 29, 2009 at 04:47 PM
Thank you Sondra, for joining this forum. We need your voice to speak for those who cannot speak. God bless you!
Posted by: Amanda Blinn | March 29, 2009 at 03:39 PM
Hi Sondra,
I used to belong to a yahoo group that you also were on. It was about being female with an ASD. I was looking for more of a biomed group and many there were discussing prescription meds and behavioral interventions but I always read your posts as they were very insightful and helpful.
Your words here are again, insightful and absolutely on target. It is just heartbreaking and a travesty that Sky is so affected and unaware but is being treated like a person with criminal intent. He has no idea where his mother is and that just makes me ill that he is alone and that his autism is responsible.
What many do not understand is that those factors that made him able to do such a thing could have been ameliorated and this tragedy prevented. If that is a responsibility of the state,by neglecting him and his issues then yes, they need to be held responsible. We could also include some major media outlets and some "experts" who give false information and no hope to the tens of thousands victims of autism and their families.
There is hope and it is by looking at this historically misunderstood diagnosis for what is really is -- a toxic assault via vaccines and/or environment. With that comes varying degrees of damage and for Sky, it appears to be numerous and unfortunately not treated.
This angers and saddens me so much as I have seen glimpses of such rage and "psychotic" behavior from my own child. There is nothing scarier than seeing a 7 year old nonverbal girl throwing chairs or other large items down a staircase, sometimes at you, as if possessed with a strength that is terrifying. Another memory is the biting, hitting, and the running at someone with her little elbow flexed to crash into an unsuspecting body. This was 9 years ago and what brought it on was pain.
(see Meg's story here-)
http://www.ageofautism.com/2009/03/mother-warrior-the-bitter-sweet-16.html#comments
I am hoping that Sky will be checked for GI issues, food intolerances-gluten, casein, soy, corn, plus food and environmental allergies (histamine levels- many asd kids have extremely high levels--can be in the gut as well ), inflammation markers-including measles, mitochondria dysfunction, testosterone levels, toxins, heavy metals - aluminum lead, mercury etc., viral titres, bacteria, especially strep and clostridia as many with asd cannot clear these and they become chronic, painful, infected and inflamed..which on top of being nonverbal would make any sane person, distraught and potentially volatile.
Your idea of a facility for those with the potential for aggression is a good one and I would like to add to it, a facility with a medical component for treating these individuals for the many issues that cause their escalating behaviors. This does not include the archaic and wrong sedation methods of the past but the diet, nutritional, and supplement needs of fragile and injured individuals who have a right to a pain-free life.
Thank you for writing about this and your journey from mental hospitals and restraints to knowing that you have a voice and that you are safe. Terrible images come into my head and I am right next to you in fighting for Sky and all of these kids.
Posted by: Teresa Conrick | March 29, 2009 at 12:13 PM
Thank you Sondra for speaking out on Sky's case. I have been following this case closely and it has been quite a reality check for me. We always hear about early intervention and detection but few address the tremendous tidal wave of young adults with autism. As a community this should be at the top of our priority list. I wonder if Trudy would have been alive today if she had access to medical attention sooner. I am seriously considering signing up with MedAlert or something like that - just in case something happens.
Sky's case must be kept alive in our minds as a worse case scenario to keep in mind. I do not want to have to be afraid of my son but I also know that I will not be able to handle him if he (at 200+ lbs) throws a temper tantrum. There are also many other issues we need to address in connection with this case. Sky was on Risperdal since he was 13 - did it have an adverse effect on him? Can long-term use of these drugs cause serious side effects? We also need more research into hormons and young adults.
Jane Milota, Ohio
Posted by: Jane Milota | March 29, 2009 at 10:41 AM
Thank you Sondra for writing with your very special perspective . My heart breaks for Sky Walker and the increased chaos that has become his life.
It is shocking what is taking place in our court systems today. Sky, imo, happens to be a blatant example of the loss of control that is taking place all around us. I cannot imagine a world likes ours today...it seems more eerily akin to many Twilight Zone episodes or even a little Fahrenheit 451-ish.
Posted by: kathleen | March 29, 2009 at 10:10 AM
Thank you Sondra for your story. I, too, have a grandson with Autism and he has been in therapy since he was 18 months old and he is doing very well, but the world is still difficult for him. We have to have more research for all of you and I pray each day for you. Keep up the good work.Donna
Posted by: D.Vanderdonck | March 29, 2009 at 09:53 AM
I'm stunned every time I read this. Thank you so much, Sondra for your insight.
Kim
Posted by: Stagmom | March 29, 2009 at 08:12 AM