HOW ABOUT A THANK YOU?
By Julie Obradovic
A little over a year ago, the school district in which I teach asked me to present an Institute Day program on Autism and our schools. (You know, what Institute Days are, right? Those days you have to find a babysitter for your kids because they have a day off while your teachers go do various things directed towards improvement?)
If you're a teacher, you know these days well.
Often guest speakers and experts come in, sell you a ground-breaking revolutionary way to teach a child, and leave never to be heard from again. The day is then topped off with departmental and school-wide business-type meetings, and rarely, if ever, is any time allowed to actually sit and improve your teaching.
I, however, am happy to say that's no longer the case at my school. We have pretty fulfilling Institute Days, often run by the faculty members themselves, showcasing their best-practice for others to learn from. It's quite helpful, truly.
So anyway, last year, the night before one of these days, I got a phone call asking if I would be interested in "throwing together" a nice little 90 minute presentation on Autism. Word had spread that my daughter had recovered (I spread it, admittedly), and many of my good friends there often asked me for vaccine advice and clarification on all things controversial.
Immediately, I jumped at the opportunity. That weekend I was throwing a benefit with David Kirby as the guest speaker, and it would be a great plug for the event.
But when the phone call ended and I realized what I had gotten myself into, I panicked. Was I really going to put my story out there for the entire school to hear? Was that a good idea? Was I compromising myself professionally, crossing over from a rational human being in most people's minds to a desperate conspiracy theorist? Was this topic appropriate? Wasn't I way too biased?
Time didn't allow me to contemplate it much. I decided the pros way outweighed the cons, and in the most impartial manner possible tried to compose a thoughtful, only somewhat biased presentation.
It was quite an experience, with some colleagues furrowing their brow at me as if I were burning the Bible and all they held sacred, but the majority of whom were quite open and interested. I thought I did a respectable job of providing the facts, reiterating that I didn't adequately represent the opposition. And that was that.
No one said anything to me personally, but I heard through the grapevine later that I upset an anonymous person. It's been awkward this year thinking about that one colleague I might be sharing coffee with who secretly thinks I'm the devil.
But then a few weeks ago, said person poked his head up out of the crowd, and I no longer had to wonder.
That particular day, I sent out an email urging everyone to tune into the Larry King Live! show with the Polings. I was asked to do a follow up presentation on Autism at this year's Institute Day, which was a few days before the show aired. I thought it would be useful for people to watch the show and judge for themselves.
The next day, an email from the previously anonymous person went out to the entire school. In his politest way, he summarized the other side of the story as he saw it, attaching commentary and articles by Dr. Grinker exonerating the role of vaccines in Autism. One was called "Autism and the Anti-Vaccine Movement."
Blech.
Many people emailed me privately, apologizing for what they considered "obnoxious" behavior. (It was then I realized I really have developed a thick skin; that email rolled off me like a drip of water. It was nothing compared to what I read on a daily basis elsewhere.)
None-the-less, I responded professionally and kindly and thanked him for engaging in the debate.
But as time went on and I thought about it, I realized it was he who should be thanking me.
My daughter has recovered. Because of biomedical intervention, she will never be a burden to society financially or otherwise. She will not cost him as a taxpayer another $40,000 this year (which is what it costs to educate a child in Illinois with Autism per year). She will go on to contribute positively to the society he will some day retire in.
Moreover, my advocacy will prevent him from ever administering a flu shot or mercury containing vaccine to himself or his children without thinking twice. And hopefully by the time he has any grandchildren, the impossibility of doing so.
Yes, I think he should have been the one thanking me and not the other way around. But since I know I'm not likely to ever get it, let me end by saying to not just him, but to all the taxpayers and nay-sayers of this country:
You're Welcome.
Julie Obradovic is the mother of a recovered child. She is a member of NAA, a Rescue Angel, and one of four women leading the TACA Chicago Chapter.
It is physically impossible to be anti-vaccine and vaccinate your children.
Anti-vaccine proponents do not vaccinate.
I was not part of the anti-vaccine movement when I took my child to the doctor to get all the recommended vaccines.
In fact, I would have been kicked out of any die hard anti-vaccine movement for vaccinating.
I like the term disgruntled consumer so much better.
Posted by: KarenAtlanta | April 10, 2008 at 11:31 PM
I believe that if someone should ask you about vaccines that you should tell them the truth and then how you feel about it. However, I am not going to try and make you believe me by shoving it down your throat. I am not indicating that you should not tell people about the truth behind vaccines but that we should be professional in how we say it. Not everyone is going to like or believe what you have to say but sometimes things just need to be said. I am also a parent with a child who is recovering from Autism and I have been approached by many people and when they ask I tell them our story. Now most people don't have a clue that he has Autism but when they see our stickers and magnets on our vehicle they kindly ask if anyone in our family has Autism. When I tell them its my child they will usually get this really silly look on their faces like he doesn't look like he has Autism. Those who don't know what Autism is will usually ask if he has some special gift or if he is really good at math. This just goes to show you that the awareness thing is not really working. However, I just keep my cool and I explain what Autism is first and if they ask about vaccines and treatments then I will go further.
I have been to many community groups for parents in my area and when it would be my turn to speak I would let everyone know everything about our child's treatments and would be so pumped up from feeling good about it because our child was getting better that even families on our side would question and sometimes doubt me. I know what its like to not have everyone's approval and even sometimes have anonymous people either not invite us back or not include our child in special events. At first it made me really sad because I felt that I was hindering my child's chances of ever making friend's but then it made me realize that not everyone is going to be happy for your success. It also made me realize that not everyone who goes to these support groups is on the same page as you are with alternative therapies. In reality I don't feel anger towards parents who wish to say nothing at all about their child's recovery. I on the other hand will continue to be a Patriot for the recovery of all children with Autism even when and if my child ever completely recovers. "part of being a patriot means to stand as a truthteller and say what needs to be said." - Tavis Smiley
Posted by: Elucidatus | April 09, 2008 at 01:08 PM
Pamela - your bottomline stating "mommy network" is so true! May I add my "grandma nework" also.
Posted by: Sandy Raitt | April 09, 2008 at 09:08 AM
Thank you Julie for this post. Your story and the comments here are so familiar.
A girl friend and I were recently having this discussion...about how much to share with people. Both of our children are experiencing a beautiful recovery and while you want the world to know (a)there is hope for recovering children and (b) they should be concerned about our vaccine program, it is akward when people look at you like you are from another planet.
Well, my girlfriend said something that was spot on. She said, "I have finally decided to stop feeling bad about the fact that I have knowledge...hard earned, time invested knowledge. Why should I feel odd if I express that knowledge and someone looks at me like a deer in headlights. I should be and am confident in the knowledge I have and will should not hesitate to share it. If one is open great and if not it is their loss for not taking the opportunity to at least consider it."
I have evolved to a place that I am comfortable shouting from the roof tops that my oldest child is recovered and I am protecting my second one from the same fate by delaying vaccination.
That message is becoming more well received all the time. Over the past two years I am finding that people are much more concerned about vaccination and willing to listen and discuss the issue. The tide is definately turning and I think people are becoming more concerned about the risk of vaccine injury than the diseases that they are supposed to protect against.
Bottom line...I think it is very important that we share our stories. I call it the "mommy network". It is often hard to tell people where our children have come from and that main stream medicine isn't always right but if not for the "mommy network" where would we all be?
Posted by: Pamela Felice | April 09, 2008 at 12:36 AM
I recently attended a conference on autism. Some of the speakers were wonderful. There was not one mention of anything vaccine or biomedical related at all. As we walked to lunch, I was appalled to see that the Department of Health set up a stand on "Why Wakefield was flawed", "why the MMR was safe" etc... A young woman who was about 8 months pregnant stood behind the table proudly declaring that all her kids were vaccinated, and she planned to vaccinate her baby. She kept saying "Thimerasol was removed from vaccines". I politely went up to her and asked her to please tell everyone standing there that indeed, thimerasol was present in the flu shot, and in the Hep B, and in low doses in some others. I embarassed her. She replied that she felt like the evil step child. I told her I don't hate her, I hate what she is standing there for. I prayed her unborn child would dodge the bullet.
A small health food store had a stand next to her, and they said things like "the audacity of these people. Thank you for telling the truth." I had a job to do. The next day I brought in pamphlets on "What's in a vaccine", and the great article from Generation Rescue which featured the vaccine schedule as recommended by our health system, printed in USA today. The women from the health food store proudly put all the articles on the table, and said, "Good for you". I took my coat off, adorned my t-shirt from the NAA that said "Mercury Poisoning-kid tested FDA approved-Autism is no mystery-It's mercury." I grabbed a soda, and stood alone in front of the Department of Health with my T-shirt. There were hundreds of people who were at that conference. Seven people, 3 of them Moms, said thank you. The rest, I imagined, wanted me thrown out. I stood fairly alone, and I was proud of my message. I wonder who was more appalled-me or the Department of Health? I wonder how many people stopped to think that day? I don't care. I am recovering my son, slowly but surely, and I will help anyone who is willing to listen.
I know how much a thank you would mean. Thank you, Julie!
"A Rescue Angel"
Posted by: Thank you, Julie!!! | April 08, 2008 at 03:41 PM
I LOVE THIS WOMAN!
Posted by: Mate O | April 08, 2008 at 02:02 PM
Thank you, Julie, from Alaska, too.
Posted by: Sandy Gottstein | April 08, 2008 at 01:02 PM
Hello Julie,
Thank you for sharing your story you are solid as a rock. Our family also struggles on a daily basis trying to not give out to much information to our school and those who we associate with. Its not that we fear what they might think or that they will stay clear from us. We just want them to see how our child is improving on a weekly basis without pulling the carpet underneath their feet by telling them everything. Just this past weekend our 5 year old decided he was going to fly a Kite and to our surprise he did. Our neighbors saw this and were amazed at his progress from last summer where all he would do is sit in the sandbox and stim. I admire your strength in letting all those around you know the truth. Sometimes the truth is hard for people to accept because it makes those that are there to protect us look like demons. We are also from the Chicagoland area and if there is anything you need we would be honored to lend a helping hand.
Posted by: Mary | April 08, 2008 at 12:59 PM
I still feel pretty alone, here where I live, if I speak about this stuff. It's just so good to hear from people out there who're on the same page as I am.
Thanks.
Posted by: Robin Nemeth | April 08, 2008 at 12:56 PM
Julie ... I share the same fear about sharing my story publicly. I was telling Lyn Redwood at the recent conference, my son asked me what's autim? He asked because I had CNN on and it was on all day April 2 ... I was stunned for a second and then said "Well, it's what the doctor said you use to have" and I choked back tears. He's 8 now, still needs alittle help in school. Just completed 7 months chelation and his last porphyrin test came back with no abnormalities. He was one of the lucky ones ... I wish the same luck for all the other people who give it a try.
Someday and hopefully the day isn't far off, the truth will be out there and all will see that in the future we should never play russian roullette with our children for the supposed great good.
Posted by: Kathy | April 08, 2008 at 10:51 AM
"Thank You"
Charlie
Posted by: Charlie Hoover | April 08, 2008 at 08:11 AM
Great post Julie! Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story with us! What a great way to start the morning! :-)
Posted by: Jeanne | April 08, 2008 at 07:47 AM
Dearest Julie,
I sit here in Africa crying as I read your beautiful post -- in a country where the specialists don't even know how to diagnose autism and where there are absolutely no services for it, yet the little boy living across the street is obviously suffering from it. Exporting autism to countries where there are no services, and certainly no biomed -- now that's a crime if ever I've seen one. Since our early days of yay-saying on the apraxia list -- yelling at the top of our email lungs "Apraxia is also about metals and microbes and methylation!" -- I have been in awe of your gumption. Thank you for writing this piece. You are dead right. Every neurotypical family in the country should be thanking each and every one of us personally for undertaking this gargantuan struggle to heal our damaged children -- and thanking us from the bottom of their hearts. Hopefully, one day, the whole world will be thanking us, too.
Many hugs to you and yours all the way from Africa!
Theresa
Posted by: Theresa | April 08, 2008 at 06:30 AM