By Cathy Jameson
Laugh till you cry. Cry because it hurts. Push through the pain. Rise up, and try again.
My head is spinning. The last two weeks have been pretty intense. A CDC whistleblower stepped forward and revealed jaw-dropping news. I’m trying to grasp everything that is being reported and wondering what’s going to happen next.
As usual, the reporting of this breaking news isn’t from mainstream media. Their reports, when they decide to respond, lack truth. They lack basic facts and lack accurate information. The reporters themselves are also anything but helpful. They lack integrity and continue to be uneducated vaccine mouthpieces unable to show basic skills like compassion. In the few news reports and articles that have popped up since Dr. William Thompson went public with alarming information about a CDC study, mainstream sources have ignored evidence and instead targeted parents as the bad guy. Not only have they criticized parents, they’ve also lobbed condescending remarks at them. This tactic and behavior is abhorrent.
I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why some groups and some people in the media resort to such madness. I do my best to not getting riled up when I see another inaccurate report or ignorant reporter respond. I turn away from anything mainstream and go listen to some of music. For now, mentally running away from the madness is the easiest way to deal with it. It’s either that or cry myself into a deep, deep sleep.
In learning what I have, that a CDC scientist has come forward with damning information about data manipulation, the emotional gamut I’ve experienced has done a number on me.
At first I wanted to laugh. Really.
And why not? We parents have we’ve been verbally insulted for so long. To finally have someone admit what we’ve suspected, no, known, was a relief. But the laughing was short lived. Fraud, lies and our destroying childhoods are no laughing matter. So, I laughed…until I cried.
As more of the CDC whistleblower story is revealed, I continue to cry.
I appreciate this revelation and the confirmation that yes, vaccines do cause autism, but it won’t change Ronan’s future. It won’t make his autism go away. His autism was an unwelcomed side effect from vaccines, ones that I believed in. I think the hardest thing to grasp is that even though the news we’re hearing is good (Finally! Truth! Justice! Vindication!), it is just so devastatingly awful. What hurts the most is that the ramifications of the fraud Thompson is claiming to have happened has influenced so many people, including me.
I believed in what scientists like Thompson were publishing. I relied on their science, those vaccines and in the CDC’s unwavering stance that those vaccines were good for my child. I heard their message, and I trusted it.
In trusting someone else and in putting faith in something else, I betrayed my mother’s intuition. It was there. It nagged me. It told me to slow down, back away, think things through, mama. But I told that nagging feeling to shush. Surely my doctor, my nurse and my government knew more than I.
How wrong I was.
One after the other after the other, vaccines didn’t help Ronan. They never gave him any immunity. They didn’t make him healthier either. With each and every one, vaccines did more irreparable harm than good.
Vaccines created a toxic toll for my son. He lost skills. He lost language. He lost the chance to live like a typical kid. Ronan’s development hit rock bottom. So, while even though Dr. Thompson’s information is important and must absolutely be investigated, it doesn’t make me hopeful. It won’t make Ronan’s voice come back. It will not bring his typical health back either. Yes, it’s a dream come true to hear that we were right and they were not, but saying that will not erase the nightmares we as a family have already lived.