AGE OF AUTISM

Natalie Palumbo's Gripping Autism Public Service Announcement Wins First Place

Natalie's PSA took FIRST PLACE  in the Notre Dame High School National Film competition. Congratulations, Natalie. You're an inspiration and you represent autism siblings and Age of Autism in an artistic and professional manner that will take you far.  Kim

By Natalie Palumbo

I am 18, a senior in High School, and the younger sibling of a 22 year old brother with low verbal autism.  I am busy preparing for graduation, and have good news to share.  I was accepted into the Motion Design major at Ringling College of Art and Design, which is my first choice for college.  I am currently taking a media arts class at a neighboring high school, and it has been an amazing experience. 

The Public Service Announcement that I made for class called “Age Of Autism” was submitted into the Notre Dame High School National Film competition by my teacher Ms. Esposito.  I received word last week that my PSA will be among the films being screened in Los Angeles this April.  Only runner ups and winners are screened.  Ironically, it is the same day as accepted students’ day at Ringling College.  Due to the cross country distance, they are sending me my award certificate in the mail.  I am thrilled and very grateful to be part of the screening, and am very excited to see if it won.  The support I’ve received for my PSA has been wonderful, and I’ve received many lovely notes and letters from families that told me they finally felt represented.  I worry about my future, and work very hard to do well.  I know my brother will need me, and I want us to have a good life together. 

"Like" to Vote For Natalie Palumbo's Film Le Ballon Bleu

Photo only, Live link to movie at end of post.

By Natalie Palumbo

I’m 18, a senior in high school, an art student, and the younger sister of a 22 year old brother with low-verbal autism. I am a finalist in the South Carolina Young Filmmaker’s competition for 2013. We were to create a 2 minute film showcasing the beauty of one of South Carolina’s state parks.
Starting April 29th, the SCYoungFilmmakers launched a YouTube page to post the finalist’s films for people to view and “LIKE” for approximately two weeks.  You can "like" a video using a Gmail account if you don't have a YouTube account. Google owns YouTube.

Click the thumbs up LIKE button to place a vote on my film.

The top 3 winners will be chosen based on the Judge’s scores and YouTube ‘LIKES’.  Please go see my film!   I was accepted into Ringling College of Art and Design as a Motion Design major for the fall, and I hope to create visual effects in film and animation.  As much as I love my art, I love my brother more.  Anthony is my inspiration to tell stories visually, and I strive to succeed for both of us.  

I hope you enjoy my film…and if you do, please please please LIKE and SHARE! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI6Kn8WJKXQ

Autism Public Service Announcement by Natalie Palumbo Featured in Los Angeles Screening

Managing Editor's Note: Natalie Palumbo provides more awareness in her public service announcement than lighting the seven wonders of the world neon blue. Thank you and congratulations, Natalie.

By Natalie Palumbo

I am 18, a senior in High School, and the younger sibling of a 22 year old brother with low verbal autism.  I am busy preparing for graduation, and have good news to share.  I was accepted into the Motion Design major at Ringling College of Art and Design, which is my first choice for college.  I am currently taking a media arts class at a neighboring high school, and it has been an amazing experience. 

The Public Service Announcement that I made for class called “Age Of Autism” was submitted into the Notre Dame High School National Film competition by my teacher Ms. Esposito.  I received word last week that my PSA will be among the films being screened in Los Angeles this April.  Only runner ups and winners are screened.  Ironically, it is the same day as accepted students’ day at Ringling College.  Due to the cross country distance, they are sending me my award certificate in the mail.  I am thrilled and very grateful to be part of the screening, and am very excited to see if it won.  The support I’ve received for my PSA has been wonderful, and I’ve received many lovely notes and letters from families that told me they finally felt represented.  I worry about my future, and work very hard to do well.  I know my brother will need me, and I want us to have a good life together. 

For competition purposes, the music for my PSA had to be changed.  The winning version has been posted to YouTube, and can be found here: 

Thank you all for supporting my PSA Age of Autism.  I created it for all of us. 

Natalie Palumbo is a senior in high school and  younger sister to Anthony, who has autism. 

PSA Natalie Palumbo Autism Sibling "I am the 88 My Brother is the 1."

Managing Editor's Note: "I am the 88, my brother is the 1."  A powerful Public Service Announcement by Natalie Palumbo that should run on every TV channel, FB page and Twitter account in the country. It serves as a reminder of why we get out of bed every day and put on our game faces. For our "1" - even if we have 3.  Please share this post widely.

By Natalie Palumbo

I am 18, a senior in high school, and the sibling of an older brother with low verbal autism.  I am a visual arts student planning a career in visual effects and computer animation.  This Public Service Announcement was made as an assignment for my Media Arts class.  We were allowed to choose our subject, so I chose the one most personal to me.   My teacher loved it, and encouraged me to share it here.  I am grateful to Age of Autism for the information they share, and the opportunity to share my sibling voice on behalf of my brother. 

Autism and Medication Hell

By Natalie Palumbo

I am 18, a senior in high school, and the only sibling of an older brother with low-verbal autism.  I recently read an article in which Dr. Hyla Class discussed certain neurological drugs, their troubling side effects, and their relationship to violent behavior. Dr. Class also discussed the disturbing trend of individuals committing violent and homicidal acts while taking these medications.  Some had even received dose increases shortly before their acts of violence were carried out.  More troubling is the reluctance to acknowledge or study this alarming trend. 

Throughout my life, I watched my parents try many different medicines for my brother.  They were trying to reduce his OCD, echolalia, or restless behavior and hoping to increase his focus and language development.  The medications either failed immediately, or had no effect.  Only one partially helped, but eventually failed.  Most meds were a horrible disaster that made Anthony’s problems worse.  We nicknamed Anthony Mr. 1%....if there was a 1% chance of experiencing an opposite reaction, that’s what we would see.  For example, if we gave Anthony a medicine to help his obsessive compulsive disorder, he would become even more OCD to the point that it was unbearable.  My parents tried each of the following at one time or another…Cylert, Ritalin, Dexedrine, Adderal, Prozac, Paxil, Anafranil, Depakote, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Strattera, and Seroquel …all failed.  Many of the meds increased the problems they were hoping to make better.  My mom gave up on meds for six years because they made Anthony extremely difficult to handle.  Although Anthony was loud and somewhat restless, he was always sweet and gentle.  The meds made Anthony irritable, oppositional, overstimulated, and aggressive.  I could tell when a med was failing by my mother’s reaction.  She was naturally patient and had no problem remaining calm…unless Anthony was being difficult on purpose.  In that case, I would hear her struggling to keep a sweet voice while managing him. 

Autism Sibling Perspective: Faking Happiness for Anthony

By Natalie Palumbo

I am 18, a senior in high school, and the younger sister of a 21 year old brother with low verbal autism. 

I recently suffered a terrible heartbreak.  My relationship of four years came to an abrupt end.  This person was very important to me, and was my closest friend.  He had gotten very close to my family, and was amazing to Anthony.  They say life is a cycle and is always changing.  For me, one thing always remains the same -- Anthony’s autism. 

I was sobbing while my mother attempted to comfort me when Anthony came thumping down the stairs.  I rarely cry, so this got his attention right away.  Anthony immediately stated, “Natalie…what’s wrong?” followed by the command, “Natalie, stop crying.”  This prompted both my mother and me to laugh through our tears.  To Anthony, it was as simple as that.  Crying is bad, so just stop doing it.  I couldn’t imagine how I would explain things to him.  For a moment, I wondered how Anthony would handle this person’s absence from my life.  Before I could give it another thought, Anthony commanded, “Natalie, come upstairs and see iPad Christmas Special.”  With tears in my eyes and an exhausted smile, I looked at my mom and said, “Even when my heart is breaking, Anthony is still Anthony.”  She stroked my hair and said, “You’ll be a wonderful mom some day. “  With that, I followed Anthony up the stairs and did my best to act cheery for him. 

Anthony’s “iPad Christmas Special” consists of opening credits with a cast of various, unrelated TV and movie characters set to the tune of “Hip To Be Square” by Huey Lewis and The News -- or as Anthony puts it, “Heavy Lewis and The News.”  I have seen this a million times.  First, it was the iPad Halloween Special, then the iPad Thanksgiving Special, and now it is the iPad Christmas Special.  I guess the iPad New Years Special and iPad Groundhog Day Special are next.  Just hearing the first few chords of “Hip To Be Square” makes me cringe.  For Anthony, it never gets old.  For us, it’s mind numbing.  In order to be kind, we all suffer through it.  Anthony typed up the whole thing himself using an iPad app, and added the music.  He is very proud of it.  I did my best to hide my heartbreak and cheer for Anthony as I always did.  As I faked my smile, it occurred to me that absolutely nothing happens in my life without autism being a part of it.  

I live in two worlds – the real world of obligations, deadlines, and expectations, and the time suspended world I share with Anthony.  On one hand, Anthony’s world can be a distraction from pain.  I must subdue my misery so I can appease Anthony.   Placating my brother with games and movies allows me to escape my frustrations.  The down side is internalizing everything just to cope.  When I try to share my feelings at home, I must deal with the jarring effects of Anthony’s multiple interruptions.  Anthony’s needs are always “now” even though the past and present exist simultaneously for him.  He can’t fathom what I am going through, so he’ll make the same demands on my time regardless of what I am suffering.  This is a constant reminder that I can’t lament too long.  Anthony’s persistence won’t let me.  I have to keep moving forward because Anthony needs me no matter what I am doing, or how I am feeling.  Reality compelled me to throw myself into my portfolio work, and just keep going.  I may mourn, but my work is still there. 

You Know What I Hate? ...

By Natalie Palumbo

... People that cry over inspirational videos that show no concern in real life.  I am 18, a senior in high school, and the younger sibling of a 21 year old brother with low verbal autism.

First, the good news…   

My school district honored me on the last day of summer vacation for my entry for the National Career Development Poster Contest.  My visual arts in media poster placed first in state, and third place nationally in spring of 2012.  I was surprised to find out I was also being recognized for my senior project work (done in junior year), which led to my becoming a contributing editor for Age of Autism.  My subject for senior project was “Autism in Society:  Media Portrayal Versus Reality”.  District recognition was a very joyous moment for my family. 

Shortly after that, my school district informed me I was selected as student of the month for my accomplishments.  Typically, they send out a press release across the district, but they felt this accomplishment was important enough to notify the local media.  I was thrilled!  On Friday, October 19, I was interviewed by Jennifer Wirtzberger, a reporter for WLTX 19 in Columbia, SC.  We spent about 2 hours together for the interview, as well as trying to get Anthony to overcome his reluctance and interact with me.  The big camera made him shy.  At 7 PM that evening, our story aired.   

Jennifer’s interpretation was beautiful and heartfelt, and showcased what my family and I struggle with every single day.  I am grateful for the support from my school district, close friends, and everyone who encouraged me throughout my life.   I am profoundly touched, and I thank everyone who was there to support me.  

This morning, October 20, I came across an article written by Dan Olmsted.  The line that shocked me the most stated that, “The morning shows were agog Friday over the duet between Katy Perry and a tween girl with autism, to be broadcast on tomorrow’s “Night of Too Many Stars” benefit on Comedy Central.  On the Today show, Al Roker said he teared up, and trotted out the old “it must be my allergies” joke as a way of calling even more attention to it.”

I watched the video in which Jodi DiPiazza performs a duet with Katy Perry, and my emotions were extremely mixed.  I was so happy to see that Jodi emerged from the depths of autism with such amazing skills in music, and could perform in a professional manner in front of such a vast audience.  I can only imagine her family’s joy.  However, this video did not make me cry.  I was overcome with dread.  My concern watching it was that more people I know would focus on Katy Perry’s contribution than the young girl emerging from autism.  As a sibling, this just seems like another video that will inspire tears from the same people that show no compassion for individuals like my brother. 

Case in point…

Ant and Nat Snow Dance by Natalie Palumbo

She's not my daughter, but I will brag about our newest Contributing Editor, Natalie Palumbo. Not only does she write for us while attending high school, and create beautiful art, she has published a book! Ant and Nat and the Snow Dance is available in the following outlets:

It was almost Anthony's 9th birthday, and snow was coming. His sister, Natalie, taught him the snow dance. After that, Anthony got a very special birthday present.

 

Createspace:

Amazon:

DeviantArt:

First Wish Books Page:

A Sibling Perspective: The Autism Doesn’t Care

By Natalie Palumbo

One of my mother’s friends sent me an article from the Washington Post entitled “Autism Can Have Large Effects, Good And Bad, On A Disabled Child’s Siblings” written by Ranit Mishori.  I am 18, a senior in high school, and the younger sibling of a 21 year old brother with low verbal autism.  In the article, Ranit Mishori shares her life experiences growing up with a younger brother with autism.  Mishori ‘s recollections are mostly negative, and she is now a family physician and faculty member in the Department of Family Medicine at Georgetown University School of Medicine.  I was struck by her acknowledgement that children are more intensely affected when their siblings have more severe autism.  What spoke to me the most was her statement that, “Normal sibling rivalry doesn’t work, because it can never be a fair fight.”  This is a fact that isn’t usually stated, and a truth I live with everyday.  Even with my parent’s help, it is a constant struggle to maintain my emotions.  I am still learning to think clearly so I can manage the autism and relate to my brother in all situations. 

In the article, Mishori defined the challenges growing up alongside severe autism.  I was stunned to see someone articulate the problems we face every day.  For most of my life, autism was defined as hyper-verbal, socially quirky, genius level academic skills, or someone exceptionally talented in art or music.  This perception was so common, friends of mine saying they ‘knew people with autism’ were shocked to see my brother’s low communication, echolalia, and OCD.  However, unlike Mishori, I have many happy memories to reflect on along with the hardships.  I couldn’t help but compare my circumstances as I read her words. 

Mishori talked about “missing out on typical family outings, such as movies, restaurants and vacations”.  Our mobility as a family has dwindled because of Anthony’s severe echolalia which is very loud, constant, and uncontrollable.  It is easier to stay home than deal with the outside world.  Not everyone has been patient with Anthony.  The stress of trying to keep Anthony’s vocalizations down in order to avoid disturbing anyone outweighs any enjoyment.  Loud places work best.  My favorite family memories are amusement parks, especially Hershey Park in Hershey, Pennsylvania.  Anthony loves thrill rides.  The bigger and scarier, the better.  My mother taught Anthony to wait in line by forcibly holding him in place for an entire summer when he was 9.  She used words they used at school over and over again like “wait your turn” and “stay in line” until Anthony got it.  We wait in line to ride like any other family, so it feels normal.  It’s also noisy, so we feel more invisible.  From far away, no one can tell Anthony is echoing.  We have to watch him every second to keep him safe in a crowd.  However, the fun outweighs the stress.  Knowing there is someplace to relax and connect with my brother makes me feel good. 

Mishori spoke about “being embarrassed to bring friends home”.  While I was never embarrassed about Anthony, I was wary of letting people into my life.  I don’t know how people are going to react to my brother’s autism.   Will they be tolerant?  Will they be judgmental?  Is their perception of autism different from how my brother presents?  I am always afraid that I will let someone into my life that on the surface seems understanding, but will mistreat my brother when my back is turned.  This fear can be so consuming, that it’s preferable to avoid acquaintances and just be alone.  There are only a handful of people I trust will be understanding of my brother and me. 

The Pain You Can’t See

By Natalie Palumbo

Early in the summer, I received a letter notifying me that my school district was honoring me for ‘My Career Dreams’ poster during the June district meeting.  My entry for the National Career Development Poster Contest had placed first in state, and third place nationally.  The June meeting date, as well as the July date, fell during my Precollege session at Ringling College of Art and Design.  Thankfully, the district rescheduled me for August on the last day of summer vacation.

I spent that day organizing my supplies for the first day of school, and finally getting my learner’s permit.  This is my senior year.  My older brother Anthony has low verbal autism, and aged out of special education services June 2012, and is now home full time with my mom.  Anthony is prone to very loud echolalia which he can’t control.  Family events requiring a respectful silence are handled by one parent staying home with Anthony, and the other parent attending the event.  My father’s work schedule had interfered with many of my art recognitions over the years.  My mother did not want him to miss another opportunity, so my dad accompanied me and my mother stayed home with Anthony.

When my father and I arrived at the district auditorium, we were told that I was also being recognized for my senior project work, which led to my becoming a contributing editor for Age of Autism.  This came as a complete surprise.  We were prepared for my art acknowledgment, but had no idea there would be any recognition for Age of Autism.  My father was very proud they wanted to extend dual recognition.  However, it was emotionally bittersweet to have one child being recognized for accomplishments inspired by the other more vulnerable one.  We both couldn’t help but wonder what Anthony’s accomplishments might have been if autism hadn’t come to call.  Even our happy moments have a little pain underneath.

In attendance was Melissa Rawl, principal of Lexington High School, and Ken Lake, the principal of Lexington Technology Center.  The Board of Trustees welcomed everyone, and said the meeting would be brief because the school year was starting the next day.  They handed out a newsletter entitled “Proof Positive” which honors students and teachers receiving state, national, and international awards.  I was categorized under “Visual Arts Awards”.

A Sibling Voice for Low Verbal Autism: Afraid Of The Dark

By Natalie Palumbo

Recently, I spent nearly four hours discussing autism with someone functioning at the high end of the spectrum.  This person could not grasp how my older brother Anthony, 21, could have “low verbal” autism with no conversational skills.  I am 18, a rising senior in high school, and Anthony’s only sibling.  While this person’s verbal skills seemed impressive, I could not make myself understood.   To this individual, merely being verbal implied conversational skills.  I did my best to explain Anthony’s limited ability to formulate spontaneous speech citing many examples, but I could not sway their opinion.  This was a sobering experience that left me in tears.  Many times in my life, I had been asked to explain my brother’s condition, usually with scrutiny.  This lack of understanding makes me afraid for Anthony, and the societal expectations placed upon him. 

I was asked to respond to a news article from the Washington Post dated March 13, 2011: In VA. Assault Case, Anxious Parents Recognize 'Dark Side of Autism' by Theresa Vargas.   In this article, Reginald “Neli” Latson, 19 with Asperger’s syndrome, was found guilty of assaulting a law enforcement officer, and it was recommended that he spend 10 ½ years in jail.  This article described the concerns of parents who have aging children with autism, and described the aggressive tendencies many families suffer through.  Parents were fearful that their adult children with autism would fall victim to a justice system that they do not fully comprehend. 

The article described an unfortunate scenario where some elementary school children saw Latson waiting alone outside a public library, which was closed.  They thought he looked suspicious and might have a gun, and alerted a crossing guard.  The school went into lockdown, and School Resource Officer Deputy Thomas Calverley approached Latson.  There was no gun, and the children later reported they never saw one.   Calverley testified that Latson refused to give his name several times, and became aggressive when the deputy grabbed him and said he was under arrest.  Calverley bent Latson over the hood of a car, and the two began wrestling and fell to the ground.  During the struggle, Latson flipped Calverley hard on his back hitting his head on the pavement.  According to reports, Latson hit the deputy several times, took his pepper spray, and shattered his ankle.  Latson's attorneys offered an insanity defense stating that Latson was diagnosed with explosive disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and could not control his behavior because of an "irresistible impulse."  The jury found Latson guilty of four charges including assault of a law enforcement officer, and wounding in the commission of a felony.  According the official blog for Autism Speaks, the judge accepted the plan proposed by the defense for hospitalization at a Virginia psychiatric facility for several months followed by intensive services at the residential school.   The jury’s sentence of more than 10 years was set aside in favor of an imposed two year period of incarceration, with the remaining eight years “suspended.”   That meant that the remaining 8 years could be imposed if Neli did not cooperate with the terms of his probation.   

Reading this story made me horrified to think that people with autism could be locked away for as much as 10 years and may or may not understand what they had done.  As more people with autism are aging into adulthood, this scenario will become more common.  With autism numbers rising, law enforcement needs to be knowledgeable about the spectrum of autism, sensory and communication challenges, and not be so quick to arrest someone that resists giving their name.  Law enforcement officers need to identify a person with autism more readily, and approach the situation more delicately.  Many people with autism suffer sensory issues, and would resist being grabbed.  My brother Anthony is mild mannered and not especially aggressive, but I could imagine him fighting to escape an officer if suddenly grabbed.  While Anthony has a young child’s view of what a police officer does, he does not understand the concept of being arrested, and the consequences of resisting.  Even if not normally aggressive, a person with autism could become agitated and physical in an overwhelming situation.  While simply trying to escape something unpleasant, they might be perceived as resisting arrest.   

Suffering Stupidity

By Natalie Palumbo

I am 18 years old, and a rising senior in high school.  I am the younger sister of a 21 year old brother with low verbal autism.  Anthony just aged out of special education in June, and is now home full-time with my mother.  I just spent a wonderful four weeks away attending precollege at the Ringling College of Art and Design.  I want to make visual effects and animation my career and Ringling is my first choice for college.  This experience meant the world to me and helped me prepare for my future, which includes caring for Anthony in our later years as brother and sister. 

As with every experience in my life, Anthony’s autism is never far from my mind.  During my free time at precollege, I stumbled across an article in which the rap artist ‘50 Cent’ used the term “autistic” to insult a follower of his on Twitter.  To add to the degradation, he posted, “I don't want no special ed kids on my time line follow some body else.”  Shortly after that, there was an MSNBC report on the theatre shootings in Aurora, Colorado at the midnight showing of Batman.  Joe Scarborough of MSNBC, while discussing the young suburban gunman, stated that, "these people  are somewhere, I believe, on the autism scale."  Reading these statements made me cringe to think that these influential people reach a large audience, and used their status to further this kind of ignorant chatter.  Even though both men publicly apologized, the damage was already done. 

I have noticed a trend among younger entertainers to use the term “autistic” as the new R-word.  As it  has become socially unfashionable to use the term “retarded” as a negative descriptive, the term “autistic” seems to be taking its place.  I have heard internet personalities refer to someone as “autistic” when they want to insult their intelligence or mock their behavior.  I live in a world where it is close to impossible to get proper help for my brother, and now his condition is being trivialized to being nothing more than a term used to insult.  I fear the word autism will become as meaningless as current slang.  With the epidemic growing, this is especially troubling to think no one will take it seriously.  I face a lifetime of being a caregiver for my brother and therefore social attitudes and trends affect my life. 

Celebrities have more impact than ever with the 24 hour power of the internet and social media.  The trivialization of autism is impacting my generation.  I have noticed it in the terminology of my peers.  Shocking, thoughtless, and insensitive comments about special needs are masquerading as edgy and bold.  I hear commentary that imitates trendy social attitudes, and it feels fake, harsh and irresponsible to me.  Witnessing this trend makes me feel isolated.  Twice at precollege, I was faced with the choice of holding in my feelings when I heard thoughtless chatter or expressing my concerns and risk ridicule.  Both instances occurred during mealtimes when precollege students were expected to bond and socialize. 

Speak No Evil – A Sibling Voice for Low Verbal Autism

By Natalie Palumbo

I am 18, a rising High School senior, and the younger sister of a 21 year old brother with low verbal autism.  I am under a tremendous deadline.  I am attending an out of state summer pre-college program at Ringling College of Art & Design, and must complete several AP summer art projects for my high school before I leave.  Anthony interrupts me every few minutes to show me the cat, the same movie he watches every day, and to play video games with him.  I don’t have time to stop, and Anthony does not understand.  I struggle to stay calm and give Anthony a little time while I keep on schedule and hope to meet my deadline. 

 I just saw the story about Jake Brasch and his mother Dawn from the Twin Cities Pioneer Press.  In the video with the article Jake was speaking about the challenges of living with autism and his mother shared her perspective on coping while also being supportive. 

Jake’s story gave me bittersweet emotions – first, the sweet.  It was nice to hear feelings articulated so clearly.  Most often, the autism coverage I’ve seen is overwhelmed with conflicting data, references to “early diagnosis”, latest thoughts on treatments, and debates over possible causes.  Basically, articles that talk about autism while telling us nothing substantial. It was refreshing to hear from people who live in the real world of autism, and can speak to it.  Hearing Jake, I could almost channel what Anthony must be thinking and unable to say – his feelings being over-stimulated, his senses painfully heightened, and everyday being new and unfamiliar.  It certainly explains Anthony’s repetitive behavior, which for us is maddening, and for him it seems endlessly fresh.  He can enjoy the same things over and over again for years and never tire of them.  He will constantly listen to songs and movies of the moment, and obsess over certain video games.  Anthony’s OCD allows him to expand his knowledge of something, learn new techniques, find glitches, and discover hidden loopholes because his interest never fatigues.  Endless repetition without exhausting his interest allows Anthony to totally connect and learn.  We just have to cope with the endlessly endless repetition. 

Autism Ages Out into An Endless Summer

By Natalie Palumbo

My older brother Anthony is a senior this year.  In our world, this means he's 21 years old, and aging out of the moderately functioning self contained special education classroom at Lexington High School.  Anthony has low-verbal autism.  I'm 18 years old, and just completed my junior year of high school.  I'm Anthony's little "big" sister, and now a rising 12th grader.

As the end of the school year approached, my overwhelming feeling was dread.  It felt like a dead end for us as a family. Graduation meant my brother would be home fulltime and my mother would have to manage him without any breaks. The school setting gave Anthony a world connection and the rest of us leeway to maneuver obligations without managing autism.

It was nice to see Anthony dressed in his cap and gown. In many ways though, it felt less like a ceremony and more like a forced exit. For my brother, time is not a passing concept nor something to be measured; it is a place. I am forever baby sister.  In his mind, places we’ve lived are still ours and everything is static.  Nothing changes. Even though Anthony pleaded to stay home every day this year, he does not understand school for him has ended.  He thinks he has graduated from his class and will now go to “art class with Natalie” where he thinks I spend my entire day. 

I couldn’t really think straight at Anthony’s graduation. For everyone else, graduation is a victory and an opportunity to advance in the world. For us, it felt like an abrupt end to a way of life. I was comforted by the love and enthusiasm that surrounded Anthony by the many teachers and administrators.  For many students, these staff members are to be revered and feared.  For us, they are playful adults that nurture and protect our vulnerable family member. It was hard choking back tears. The ceremony was dignified and thoughtfully planned for the students. Anthony’s graduation ceremony was in the school’s performing arts center.  It was so much more peaceful and intimate than trying to manage autism in a large arena filled with the entire graduating class. We were more relaxed knowing that my brother would not be subject to intolerance and misunderstanding. Even though it was lovely, I couldn’t help but wish for more for my brother. I imagined my life if everything had been typical.  I wished he could communicate with me like other kids. I wished Anthony could give me advice and vow to protect me. I felt sad that there were no opportunities left for Anthony except what we must invent for him.  All guidance ends now.   

I anticipate my parent’s lives being even more restricted now. My brother will need fulltime supervision since he will not go to school anymore. I anticipate my mobility will be restricted as well. I will need to stay with my brother when my parents are unable. I will definitely miss having Anthony at school with me.  I will miss seeing him in the hallways, and volunteering as his buddy on school trips with his class. We’ve been going to school together since I was three.  I’m not sure how I will cope with my loneliness, but I am relieved to know my brother will be home safe from intolerant strangers and insensitive students. 

I could not get excited about other people’s graduation and college plans wholeheartedly. I kept my heartache to myself. It was nice to hear their plans, but it upset me to know my brother’s life was not headed in the same direction as my peers. I haven’t shared this with anyone because I don’t want them to take my upset the wrong way. Some of my peers might read my sadness as a lack of support for their accomplishments. Honestly, I hate that my brother is not going to be in school with me anymore. Everyday life has just become more difficult to handle and work around. 

Autism Acceptance and Aging Out

By Natalie Palumbo

As a younger sibling of a 21 year old young man with autism, I was recently asked to give my perspective on a story about services for people with autism beyond high school in Vermont, as shown in this story from April 27, 2012.

First of all, I think it’s wonderful that programs are being developed beyond high school to further train and improve quality of life. But, my family lives in South Carolina and I can tell you that unless more states adopt this philosophy, the rest of the country remains at a standstill. People with low and non-verbal autism, like my brother, will age out of high school without any services available to them. In addition, the increased occurrence of autism will place an exceptional burden on those states with services as more and more families seeking support move where they can access them.

It bothered me that in the article, the increase in autism is mentioned with no concern. The writers at the Brattleboro (VT) Reformer talked about the expectation that services will increase along with the numbers, but there are no guarantees. 

I would have liked to know more about Ben Davis and his mother, Lora Barrows, who were talked about in the article.  It seemed that the piece was too brief for me to make a personal connection. I wanted to identify with their story, but I didn’t get enough information to relate my life to their experience.

I was struck by the inference that an autism diagnosis brought relief. “Before Lora Barrows' son received his diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder, the family's life was filled with confusion, frustration and uncertainty.”

My brother was diagnosed with "severe communicative disorder with autistic tendencies" at age three and officially given an autism diagnosis at age five.  When my mother first heard the word “autism,” only three references came to mind, the Who’s Rock Opera “Tommy,” the little boy Tommy from St. Elsewhere, and Rain Man. My brother Anthony didn’t resemble any of these characters. I witnessed doctors being blasé about their lack of knowledge, some weren’t interested in helping, and only an exceptional few let my parents bring them research. We never felt like we had any real understanding of what the future held. 

Welcome Natalie Palumbo Newest Contributing Editor to Age of Autism

We’re happy to announce a really terrific addition to the list of contributing editors on Age of Autism.  Joining us is Natalie Palumbo, 17, from Lexington SC, the sister of a 21 year old young man, Anthony, who has autism.  Natalie was recently interviewed about her life with Anthony for Age of Autism.  She is a tremendous advocate for her brother and acknowledged the responsibility she's chosen to embrace when she and her brother are adults.  This is an increasingly important perspective for us to highlight at Age of Autism.  Natalie is the face of the future when countless thousands of siblings will have to be there for family members who can’t speak for themselves. Please welcome Natalie! -- Dan Olmsted