AGE OF AUTISM

Love and Autism

By Kim Stagliano

There's (a love) life beyond little boxes of Valentines and a sack full of red dye laden candy arriving from school with a child today. Many of our kids are growing into teens and adults. Some are already there. And that means teen and adult topics. Two of my girls are teenagers. One of them is very vocal about her crush on Taylor Lautner. We celebrated his 20th birthday on Saturday. (I felt fossilized!)   If you've read my memoir, you know G likes to carry transitional items. The manatee turned into a book of emotions, which was replaced by a family photo including a cute older cousin, who was kicked to the curb by a cute 7th grade boy in her yearbook and then an 8th grade boy in the next year book and now? TAY-LOR. It's natural.   See the photo? That's the US Weekly magazine Gianna now carries. (I bought 8 more copies last week.) And you can see a bottle of Love's Baby Soft perfume - remember that from your own girlhood? We had sleep issues a few weeks ago - serious ones - and a Taylor Lautner iron-on transfer onto a white pillow case assuaged her fears. You gotta be creative right? But you also see on her pillow Spot the dog, from the children's stories. We're a mix of teen and toddler in some ways. The girls still love Sesame Street (and so do I) for instance.  Such are the differences of growing up with autism.



We have a lot of work ahead of us clearing tall trees in virgin (pardon the pun) territory regarding adult life, socialization, human emotions and yes, maybe even sex.  I'd like my children to grow into women who can experience the joy of a full human relationship.  Should I simply assume they are not worthy or capable of that even while they are young and make my life easier by never having to think about it again? I don't think so.  Although it's sure tough to think and write about, I promise you.

Our friend Chantal Sicile-Kira and her son Jeremy are publishing a book called A Full Life with Autism that will help families and caregivers delve into these pressing issues. We'll have a copy for you later this Spring.

Each week I see a 23 year old man with autism who is quite verbal at speech therapy. One day he reached out to touch a female in the waiting room. His Dad leapt up, alert. He spoke to his son. I heard the young man say to his Dad, "But I want a girlfriend."  His Dad immediately launched into how to speak to a woman and how NEVER to touch her - even in friendship.  That father did a great job of respecting his son's desires while trying mightily to protect his son from acting in a way that could go downhilll FAST. 

House of Cards by Kim Stagliano FREE Today!

WOW! Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #13 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)

 #1 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Fiction > Genre Fiction > Romance > Romantic Suspense
    #1 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Fiction > Genre Fiction > Family Saga


My gift to you Sunday, January 15th - FREE download of my funny, fast paced romantic suspense House of Cards.  #1 in the Family Saga category (oh, autism it's a saga isn't it, friends?"  And it's in the top 25 Kindle books in the free category.  Don't forget the Kindle app (right here)is available for every device (PC and Mac included)  except your toasters and Nooks!  I'm also proud to on the same "readers who bought this also bought" with David Lender's medicaLegal THRILLER Vaccine Nation. And Janet Evanovich (pinch me!)

Book Description: Bounty Hunter Stephanie Plum would think her life is easy compared to Kat Cavicchio's. When a car crash with a New England Patriot lands her sister in the hospital, Kat has to move in with her brother-in-law to take care of her young niece and nephew – with autism. The windfall accident settlement should turn around her financial woes and help the kids too, until the football player kicks his last field goal in a gruesome murder that lands Kat's entire family in the cross hairs of a drug dealer who thinks she is hiding something from the football player that he wants. Can a sexy State Trooper throw a Hail Mary pass and save her life before the clock runs out on her life?

Q&A with author of House of Cards, Kim Stagliano

Question: Which books or movies influenced you in writing House of Cards?

KS: My life as a Mom of three girls with autism is pretty stressful (understatement of the year there) and so I read and watch movies for entertainment and laughter. I'm a big fan of the Farrelly Brothers comedies and love offbeat, irreverent humor. I created Kat Cavicchio in the hopes that readers will want to meet her again and again, like Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum, Rita Mae Brown's Harry Haristeen and Meg Cabot's Heather Wells.

Q: You wrote a Memoir called All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa and you blog and write for magazines. Why did you decide to write fiction?

KS: So I can kill people! OK, maybe not. Fiction gave me the freedom to have a character say things that would sound dreadful coming from me, a real Mom. It's fun to create a world where you control the events - good and bad - and write the ending you want. If only life were so easy.

Q: Is House of Cards an "autism book?"

KS: No more than Jodi Picoult's House Rules would be called an "Asperger's book." House of Cards is about the growth of Kat Cavicchio and the arc of her Italian American family's life. Sophie and Dom are characters whose autism shapes them - they help Kat learn who she is and how to grow up.

Q: Is House of Cards "your" story?

"What Will You Do For Autism" Asks Iowa Boy to Each GOP Candidate

By Kim Stagliano

Our good friend Lin Wessels and her son Sam have barnstormed Iowa to meet and greet the GOP candidates.  Below, Sam asks them what he or she will do for autism as President.  We need to do something like this at every event. Ask tough questions. Demand hard answers.    When people see my girls, spend a few moments with them, the disconnect of their age and beauty compared to their ability to speak and interact makes grown men weep. I kid you not. The glossing over of the real hardship of autism, even by the well meaning, has contributed to the lack of alarm Anne Dachel writes about every day. Despite the difficulty, bring your kids to meet the political candidates at every chance. Hold up a sign, holler at the top of your lungs, plunk yourself in front of a TV camera. It gets easier every time.  We can make a difference. Let the children lead the way.

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New Year's Eve!

By Kim Stagliano

Credit: Don Emmert/AFP/Getty Images

New Year's Eve ends with a big ball - dropping in Times Square, New York City in America, and in variations around the globe. We know from big balls at Age of Autism. It takes guts, brains and sometimes derring-do to care for our kids with autism (for those of us who are parents) and to write about the realities of this epidemic - which shows little sign of abating or stirring any true concern in mainstream America. Indeed, the effort to cover up the difficulties of autism has never been stronger. Hard to believe that kids as sick as our own are bullied every day in the media, on blogs and in medical journals. 

Tune into ABC to see the ball drop in New York City. (Click here for some cool facts about the ball itself.) Tell us what your city or town is doing for the big moment. And how you'll ring in the new year. Me? We're having two families over to bring our total to five kids (4 girls!) with autism and one with Down Syndrome -  we'll have good food and controlled chaos and a whole lot of love and acceptance.  I'll probably be asleep at midnight. Autism doesn't take a break for holidays (or hangovers!)

Happy New Year, friends.

KIM

Kim Stagliano is Managing Editor of Age of Autism. Her new novel,  House of Cards; A Kat Cavicchio romantic suspense is available from Amazon in all e-formats now. Her memoir, All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa is available in hardcover, paperback and e-book. Click HERE to purchase House of Cards for just $2.99.  Please "like" the book on Facebook and when you're done reading, leave a review.  Once purchased, you can lend the book to a friend using the new Amazon lending program. And you can download to lots of devices - iPhone, computer, Blackberry, Droid and more.

 

Holiday Hijinx! Kim Stagliano Presents House of Cards A Kat Cavicchio Mystery

I'm grinning from ear to ear: "It's a book!" House of Cards, a funny, fast paced romantic suspense is now available in e-book format. (Paperback in 2012.)  The book is pure fiction - not my life - been there, wrote the book (ha ha All I Can Handle the Memoir).   I hope that House of Cards will be another way to tell the world about the autism epidemic and what it does to an entire family - in a zany, fast paced chick lit style format. And well, I got to kill someone finally, and that ain't bad!

Click HERE to purchase House of Cards for just $2.99.  Please "like" the book on Facebook and when you're done reading, leave a review.  Once purchased, you can lend the book to a friend using the new Amazon lending program. And you can download to lots of devices - iPhone, computer, Blackberry, Droid and more.  You can find the Kindle Apps HERE.

Here's a taste:

My name is Kat Cavicchio, and I’m the youngest in a family of four kids. I call my sisters and brother “good, better and best.” You can see where that leaves me. I’m the only female in two generations to have been divorced. I had split with my college sweetheart at age twenty-eight after three “un” years with him. Unhappy. Unfaithful. Unreproductive (thank God.) I dumped every reminder of him possible, including his ludicrous last name—Sprenkle. What the hell was I thinking when I married him anyway? Kat Sprenkle. It sounded like a brand of kitty litter. 

Despite her liberal bent, my mother lived in fear that I’d never find another husband and would end up lonely and poor. You can take the Italian out of the old country, but blah, blah, blah.

My constant money woes troubled my father, who had never made a fortune as a college professor but had taken appropriate care of his finances, allowing us kids to have a happy childhood, and him and Mom a comfortable pre-retirement. I had a tendency to eat more meals in his kitchen than my own, which was all the proof he needed of my near-insolvency. He was concerned that I’d hit up my 401K money once my savings were gone. I was about six months shy of calling Fidelity. I’d have to put off quitting my job until another day, or decade, unless my next interview panned out.

With any luck (except my own), my days of writing press releases for Acme were coming to an end.  No more writing sentences like: “Acme Computer Systems seamlessly integrates high-level platforms, software, and services into high-value, low-risk information infrastructure solutions that help organizations maximize the value of their information assets and automate more of their overall infrastructure.”  Can anyone actually read a sentence like that without drifting into the ozone?

I was actively looking for a new job. How long can a girl dream up gobbledygook for dry-as-toast clients? In Boston, where I was born and raised, a huge chunk of the available biz was in the medical, biotech or software industries.

Kim Stagliano's All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa on Kindle Sale $1.99

Happy Holidays, friends! My book is on S-A-L-E on Kindle for $1.99.Visit the Amazon Kindle Version All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa to check it out - wait, that's a library term. If you have the KINDLE app you can download the book to your phone or other device.  If you're expecting a Kindle as a gift, you can buy the book and download it when the device arrives.

Limited sale, hurry!

The paperback just came out too - just $11.21  it contains a new chapter, recipes and a study/book club guide if paper is your thing: Go to  All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa paperback.

Happy reading! KIM

(PS)  I have a really fun novel called House of Cards coming out as an Amazon e-book next week - I think you'll love it!

Autism Ain't Easy

By Kim Stagliano

Yesterday was my daughter's birthday.  We celebrated with cake and presents, like any other family.  She delighted in her Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer snow monster toy that shakes and sings Holly Jolly Christmas (another Stop & Shop present, and you know what I mean if you've read my book.)  She glanced at the Love's Baby Soft perfume set. We helped her open her cards from family.

She is seventeen years old. Here she is on the day she was born. I was two weeks away from my 31st birthday. A friend posed a question on Facebook last month, "If you could be anywhere at anytime of your life, where would you be?" My answer is in that photo. The moment Mia was born was the happiest of my life, bar none.

Mia developed right on time.  She knew her alphabet before two. Could count to twenty. Looked at me with her big blue eyes.  I vaccinated her on schedule. I was never told a thing about the risks.  The consequences. It never occured to me I could be harming her, even as her pediatrician noted a distinct change in her head shape and made notes to "watch left side," but never told me or her Dad.  We found his notes in the pediatric records we ordered when we moved to a new city.  By two we knew we were losing her to something. By three we were in Early Intervention. By four she was diagnosed with autism.

When I was seventeeen I was a senior in high school. Mia is in "tenth" grade.  Friends and I giggled at this Rick James song - understanding the lyrics were a bit naughty.  I had a boyfriend, my driver's license and felt as grown up as could be, ah seventeen.

This morning, Mia was watching this before school.

In grade school I read a book from the 1940s that has remained a fond memory. It was about a girl's first love, called Seventeeth Summer, by Maureen Daly. At age 10 or 11, 17 seemed so grown up to me. Mia is loving  a counting story called Miss Spider's Tea Party on the iPad.

Matthew Sapolin, 1970 - 2011, New York City's Office for Disabled Commissioner

Katie Wright informed me yesterday that the Commissioner of the New York City Office for the Disabled Matthew Sapolin died this week. In 2010, NAA NYC Metro honored me with their Spirit of Hope award and Commissioner Sapolin presented the award, along with Sabeeha Rehmin. He actively sought to improve the lives of people living with autism in New York City. Our condolences to his family, friends and colleagues.

From The New York Times:  Matthew P. Sapolin, the Bloomberg administration’s disabilities commissioner, died of cancer on Tuesday. He was 41.

Mr. Sapolin, whose death was confirmed by the mayor’s office, had served as commissioner for the Mayor’s Office for People With Disabilities since the post was created in 2006. In that role, he pushed to make New York City’s building code more accommodating to people with disabilities, created a mentoring program and led an effort to freeze rents for some disabled New Yorkers.

Mr. Sapolin was also blind. Friends and colleagues said that while Mr. Sapolin’s blindness informed his life, it did not narrow it. He was an accomplished wrestler, a versatile musician, a formidable chess player and an occasional skier.

“His mother told him, you go to school and you’ll learn, and that’s it,” said Carol Robles-Román, deputy mayor for legal affairs. “You’re going to school with everybody else, and they’re going to treat you like everybody else.”

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg appointed Mr. Sapolin executive director of the Office for People With Disabilities in 2002. Four years later, Mr. Bloomberg decided to elevate the job to the level of commissioner, and Mr. Sapolin rose with it.

At age 5, Mr. Sapolin lost his sight to bilateral retinoblastoma, a cancer that affects the optic nerve. Mr. Bloomberg’s office said he had battled cancer ever since, and it was that disease that killed him, a rare form called leiomyosarcoma.  Read the full obituary HERE.

Special Mall Hours for Families with Autistic Child: Is This Progress?

By Kim Stagliano

Before you jump down my throat - we have participated in sensory movies and other autism friendly events. I appreciate them. But - at what point will the larger world say, "Hey! How come this ONE population of disability is unable to participate in the general day to day world like everyone else?"  Why not "Down Syndrome Day at Sesame Place" or "Cerebral Palsy night at the Bridgeport Bluefish ball park?"  There's no "Jerry's Kids movie showing" at the local cinema.   

I'd like the media and average Joe and Jane  to realize that autism needs action, beyond it's own "Blue Friday shopping event." Autism is a dire financial, emotional, physical, medical and mental drain on families from coast to coast. We get precious little medical treatment, we're told that research into genetics might someday lead from mouse models to oh, say a primate! And then in 100 years, something for humans. We're asked to be patient as millions of dollars in research turn over the Elmo rock, the old sperm rock, the clever parents rock in a flim flam game that helps no one but those whose names are on the grant applications.  We watch our children grow into handsome and beautiful adults who can not function independently in society while awareness campaigns sugar coat reality into a thin gruel the nation is willing to digest.

I don't want more ambulances to triage the kids who are getting hit by the autism bus - I want a safe road with sidewalks so that no one gets hit at all.

I know that families need TLC and a mall event to visit Santa without the dirty looks and sneers from those who know nothing of our world.  If there was a Sensitive Santa night in our Westfield Mall I'd take the kids with pleasure and be grateful for the opportunity. But in the bigger picture, we need to keep shouting "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!" so that another generation of kids isn't so badly affected by autism that the world is unaccessible and hostile to them.

Comment on the article below at TulsaWorld.

Christine McClary’s kids are terrified of the mall.

Jacob, who’s 8, and Emily, 7, don’t do well with all the sights and sounds of a shopping center, especially this bustling time of year.

“I can’t take them, ever,” McClary said. “It’s just because everything is over-stimulating.”

Both Jacob and Emily have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) - Jacob in 2005, Emily in 2006. Neither sibling can talk. Certain textures and colors upset them.

So sitting on Santa’s lap at the mall has never been an option - or, at least, it won’t be until this weekend, when Emily and Jacob will go to Tulsa Promenade for the shopping center’s second annual “Sensitive Santa” event from 8 to 11 a.m. Sunday.

Families who are affected by ASD are invited to the event, which caters to autistic children, allowing each an opportunity to enjoy a moment with Santa, as well as other kids, all in a sensory-friendly atmosphere - low lights, low music, no shoppers and a staff instructed to avoid loud, distracting movements.

Clever Parents Autistic Kids?

It's one micron better than being called a cold refrigerator mother - Simon Baron-Cohen is again looking at Mom (and Dad) as causing their children's autism. Autism May Be Linked To Clever Parents. I thought we were stupid for believing our kids are physically sick and/or vaccine injured. And for attempting to recover our kids from a lifelong can't do a darn thing but ABA and LUV diagnosis. So which is it? Are we clever or are we ding dongs? And how do high IQ parents have children who can not provide basic care for themselves and whose IQ is almost untestable or so erratic as to shuffle them into DDS programs nationwide? Sorry, but the smart Mom and Dad hypothesis leaves me as cold as a Whirlpool side by side. Although Mr. Baron-Cohen is certainly clever in that his funding seems endless.  KS

There are signs that adults who work in science and maths-based jobs are more likely to have autistic children.

"A clear test of the hypothesis will enable us to test if couples who are both strong systemisers, for example, those who studied and works in STEM subjects (science, technology, engineerings and maths) and other fields related to systemising, are more likely to have a child with an autism spectrum diagnosis than couples where only one is a strong systemiser, or where neither is," he said.

The study will involve recruiting graduates to survey the development of their children along with the subject studied at university to test the theory, which has already been highlighted in other research.

The investigation will look at whether a couple of systemisers had a higher chance of having a child on the autistic spectrum.

Participants will be graduates with a child of 18 months or older.

More information is available online and the results will be available in 12 months.