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Things Said That Can Make the Parent of a Vaccine Injured Child Cringe

Don't Say That AgainBy Cathy Jameson

Sometimes, the hardest thing for the parent of a vaccine injured child to listen to isn’t their own child’s response to pain; it’s what comes out of another person’s mouth that can be difficult to hear.  Like this admittance that comes after advice from the parent of a vaccine injured child has been given:

“I went ahead and got his shots…” 

Of the few that I’ve heard, that response is one of the hardest ones to hear.  Personally, I think that one sounds like a cop out, too.  “I went ahead and…” doesn’t eek confidence and has a smidgen of guilt added.  When it’s said to the parent of a vaccine injured child after we’ve been sought out, and after facts have been laid out, after websites, and books and journals have been referenced, and after we’ve included the retelling (and subsequently, the reliving) of our own child’s vaccine injury, the response, “I went ahead and got his shots…” actually kind of hurts.  Now, yes, advice certainly does not have to be taken, I understand that, but when the other parent who was so afraid and so worried and somewhat doubtful about vaccines came to me for information but ends up doing the exact opposite of what I suggested, yeah, that hurts.

I’d like to believe this one, but when I hear this, I’m the one who has doubts:

“Well, she got her shots and turned out just fine…” 

I would love nothing more than to believe that statement.  But I can’t when the child who received the shots ends up with signs of eczema, unexplained allergies, attention issues and asthma that didn’t exist before. 

To me, “just fine” means there are no reactions whatsoever.  That means no fever, no swelling, no joint pain, and none of any of other “mild” vaccine reactions that the CDC lists on the vaccine package insert.  “Just fine” also means no resulting eczema, sensory issues, allergies, asthma, attention issues, sleep issues, changes in personality, juvenile arthritis or diabetes, and no need for accommodations to be made in school or home.  

So, as much as I’d love to believe that the rise in those childhood disorders (and sensory issues, eczema, allergies, asthma, attention issues, autism…) had nothing to do with vaccines and that they can never be linked in any way to any vaccine whatsoever, and that it is just a coincidence that those issues and those disorders just happened to show up post vaccination, I can’t believe it.  Don’t get me wrong, “Just fine” would be great.  It really, really would!  But I doubt that today’s vaccine schedule offers that particular outcome.  

Rage Vax Graphic

As seen on the Rage Against the Vaccines FB page

When an adult makes this next statement, it makes me cringe.  And, it makes no sense to say it:

“I was vaccinated as a child, and I turned out just fine…”

In a perfect world, that response could work.  But we don’t live in a perfect world.  If we did, officials wouldn’t be allowed to force parents to vaccinate their children.  They also wouldn’t be allowed to force them to follow a vaccine schedule that boasts of as many vaccines as today’s schedule does. 

(click to enlarge graphic.)

Vax graphic

Assuming the adult making this claim is at least 20 years old, saying that the vaccines and the number of vaccines that they received as a child are in any way comparable to the ones children get today is impossible. 

Twenty years ago, children were given far fewer vaccines.  Back then, far fewer children were

New Childhood in America
As seen on the Autism One FB page

overweight, or had learning disabilities and asthma, and had seizures and autism, too.  Sadly, children today are not as healthy as they were 2 decades ago.  So, what’s changed?

During the last two decades, one thing that we’ve witnessed is the adding of more than a few vaccines to the recommended schedule.  And shockingly, more keep on being added! 

To borrow a phrase, you can’t compare apples to oranges, an adult today cannot compare his very light vaccine schedule to the very full (and growing) schedule today. 

Now, I think we should compare today’s schedule to that of 20+ years ago, but I will add to that sentence:  We should compare today’s schedule to that of the one from 20+ years ago AND go back to it.               

                   

If that ever happens, adults might then be able to compare how they fared with how children of today fare.  But you know going back to that simpler schedule is not going to happen any time soon.  That’s because the next statement that parents of vaccine injured children hear from other parents is still being said:

“The doctor told me that I had to get all of them…”

And, sadly, this one as well:

“The school said she had to get all of them…”

I don’t know which of those statements are worse.  Both of those are equally terrifying to me as those statements usually include “…or else.”

Typically, from a doctor, it’s “…or else I won’t treat you!” and from the school, it’s“…or else we won’t let your kid into our school!”

Something else that’s terrifying about that second statement is that, for the most part, it isn’t entirely true.  Vaccines are still optional, and children can still go to school without them.  I know that is not be true for everyone in our country—and maybe not the rest of us for very long with the way things are going, but for the most part, people in America can take vaccines or leave them.  It’s just that people don’t know that they have had the right to make that decision.

That’s because someone else may quickly turn on them for making it.

I’m not sure when this trend started, but I am hearing more and more that in order for a child to be seen by a doctor, the parents must adhere to the CDC’s recommended vaccine schedule.  Some parents can’t even begin a conversation about vaccines with certain providers, let alone be treated by them, when that attempt to say the V word.  “I tried to ask a question about vaccines and was given a lecture.”  “All I wanted to do was get some information.  But, I got yelled at instead!”  “I asked about exemption, but my doctor refuses to write those.” 

Parents want what they think is best for their child—which may include vaccines.  They may ask for guidance from others, which may include asking their doctor or the school nurse for advice.  But, when they attempt to ask for information about “school shots” or about having to follow the entire CDC’s recommended vaccine schedule, parents find that they are not being guided but are being belittled and threatened.  That’s a problem.  That’s a big problem. 

And funny how the word recommended gets glossed over so quickly with some folks when vaccines are being discussed.  Parents are told that they may not opt out of the recommended schedule.  They may not pick and choose one vaccine over the other.  It must be all of them. “Get ALL the shots…or get out!”  If a provider ever told me I that had to get vaccines or else, you better believe I’d be taking my children and my business elsewhere.  Not every parent does that though. 

Years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to confidently walk away from those who push vaccines.  I didn’t know much about them and therefore, like many other new parents, followed exactly what my children’s pediatrician said.  I’d encourage parents to not follow in my footsteps but to do their own research early on.  In taking time to do that, parents have the chance to educate themselves sooner than I thought to.  That leads up to the last statement.  It’s one that I myself uttered so many years ago:

“I had no idea…”

In this day and age, with as many resources as we have available to us, the “I had no idea…about vaccine reactions, about vaccine death, about Vaccine Court, about vaccine exemptions, about vaccine package inserts, about vaccine choice…” response is one that you’d think we’d never hear.  But we do hear it.  And that has to stop. 

Think You're Informed

As seen on the National Vaccine Information Center FB page

For a parent to say that they do not know at least something about vaccines is troubling.  More troubling is when the parent “who had no idea” admits that they “went ahead and got the shots” anyway.  Making decisions blindly is not usually recommended when someone’s in the market for a new car or an appliance or a new car seat.  Even when searching for a new gym, new restaurant or a new doctor, people tend to conduct a search or ask for recommendations from others.  When it comes to vaccines, though, parents sometimes accept them blindly.  It’s only after a bad experience or after a vaccine reaction that parents see how blinded they were. 

Believe or not, after they open their eyes, there is hope.  Here’s the silver lining. 

One can’t go too far these days without running into someone with a vaccine story to tell—books, magazine articles and blogs, there is no shortage of vaccine stories.  One can’t escape a news story about “vaccine debate”—the media loves those!  And one can’t claim not being able to find information on the internet either—oodles and oodles and oodles of info can be found on the net.  So, even after realizing that they had no idea, parents will see that they have options.  It may feel like they are at a point of no return, but the parent who stated, “I had no idea…” has actually made their way to the beginning.   

What happens at the beginning?  Being pro-active.  Being informed.  Being aware.  And being confident for the next time around.  The work isn’t over for the parent who thought that they had no idea.  Far from it.  But taking steps to inch forward is possible.  That can be done by listening, by reading, by asking questions, and by discussing vaccines.

Listen to what’s being said by parents who’ve already gotten their child’s vaccines. 

Read everything there is to read about vaccines. 

Ask questions about vaccines, and don’t be afraid to continue to ask questions about vaccines. 

Discuss them.  Discuss them with your family, your neighbor, your provider.  Even if it’s heated discussion, have a discussion about vaccines!  Just don’t wait until your child’s sleeve is rolled up to have it. 

Those discussions should never be one-way conversations as what seems to happen in doctor’s offices lately.  So after talk about them.  Keep reading.  Keep learning.  Just don’t wait until you are in the exam room to do start learning about vaccines. 

Long gone are the days that we must believe everything the authorities tell us.  Long gone is the notion that vaccines save lives and that they are only safe and only effective, too.  Vaccine Court and recent vaccine-induced outbreaks show us that vaccines fail.  So, parents must listen, read, ask, discuss and teach themselves about vaccines.  In doing so, they should discover that vaccines may in fact come with benefits, but they most certainly also come with risks. 

Vaccine risks and benefits must be weighed like any other product a parent is offered.  But nowhere else does a parent get bullied into a product like they do with vaccines.  Nowhere. 

Unless parents know to stand up for themselves, vaccine bullies will continue to bully.  They will continue to misinform.  They will continue to mistreat parents and children, too.  Something that else that those who push vaccines do is let parents think that it’s okay that “preventative” medicine hurts. 

Preventative medicine and health care should never hurt.  But people have been lead to believe that it’s okay if it does. You hear that mentality when a parent likens getting vaccines to getting battle wounds.  You hear that when a doctor says, “You need to take one for the herd.”  You hear that mentality when a nurse says, “This will only hurt just for a second…” 

Vaccines shouldn’t hurt.  But they do.  As much as no one wants to hear that, they do.   

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.

If you’ve been on the receiving end of a particular shocking response about vaccines, share it with.  Let us know how the conversation played out.  More importantly, let us know if you were able to educate a fellow parent, how did they take it?  For many of us, we educated ourselves too little too late when it came to vaccines.  But that’s why we’re here now—to share what we can with those who choose to listen.

Comments

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 Hera

Noelle,
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby to vaccine side effects. And for the callousness of the comment about "rare". Some people truly need to learn compassion.

Owen; It is good that you are starting to look for information. But you may learn more than you bargain for.
Here is the list from the Center of Disease Control for ACKNOWLEDGED vaccine injuries and side effects.
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/d/injury-table.pdf

And here is some of the information you requested. Every vaccine is unique and has unique components/ingredients. Are you interested in the contents of any particular one? Many of the common ones are covered here.
http://www.informedchoice.info/cocktail.html


Owen

I don't think you people understand what is in a vaccine.

Cmon.

One person.

Tell me.

Benedetta

Noelle she was not concerned bout you at all. She was concerned about her own family -- it was a knee jerk reaction to protect herself - assure herself, tell her self -- it is rare; and her family is just fine.

She will however; never forget it and as time goes by; it will sink in more and more. as time goes by she will be much more open to the possibility that your child died and her children are very possibly facing illnesses at a younger age and were in fact also hurt. And in time she will be added to the supporters for safer vaccines and she will be --- Ready to see a bunch put in prison for life.

Try to not let it hurt you- make you think about jumping on top of her and knocking her to the ground and punching her.

Your words of truth already did that.

Linda1

Noelle,
I'm so sorry you lost your daughter.
About the "But it is rare" comment - our society has been groomed to accept killing children. This is mental illness brought about by criminals who understand that this is murder. Bystanders who rationalize that the killing of any child is ok if it is "rare", whatever that means, are insane. They have no grasp on that reality, until it happens to them.

Ember H.

My daughter had her first seizure 24 hours after her 4 month, CDC scheduled vaccines. She continued to have seizure for a week and was hospitalized in our hospitals pediatric ICU. We left the hospital with daily anti-seizure medication and a diagnosis of "sudden onset epilepsy with no known cause". Her pediatrician wanted to continue with vaccines at her 6 month well visit...that's right..only two months later.Her ped continued on to tell me how she just saw a patient with a vaccine preventable illness and she "would never forgive herself if [my daughter] caught said illness". I continued to refuse all vaccines and received a second opinion from a pediatric neuro who felt my daughter did not have epilepsy and her seizures were a direct result of the vaccines (most likely the DTAP). I have had enough of feeling bullied and guilt tripped about MY decision to do whats best for my daughter. Until you have felt the pain and remorse after your child is injured by a vaccine you cannot tell me how to proceed.

Cathy Jameson

Ahh, yes - a comparison to thirty years ago would be better. Although, even with that vaccine schedule, now that many of us know what we know about vaccines, I wonder...how many here would confidently commit to follow what was recommended back then?
(doesn't raise her hand)

Thanks, Cat

Noelle

My perfectly healthy daughter died after her first set of shots 23 years ago. When it was the hot topic to ram the view of forced vax after the Disney outbreak I had a discussion with another individual on why forced vax are not right for all kids and some of them do DIE as my own daughter did. She told me "sorry your daughter died BUT IT IS RARE." Was that supposed to make me feel better? It's not rare when it is your child that has died.

L  Land

Since the autism epidemic "started" with kids that are now adults in their mid twenties, I don't think comparing to the vaccine schedule of twenty years ago is a good choice. Maybe go back thirty years ...

Barry

I'm one who has close family who know the story, disregard it, and consider me an anti-vaccine wacko.

*************

Wear it as a badge of honour. It means you're smarter than they are.

Denise Anderstrom Douglass

We who know and have spent years and years following the evidence, are voices crying in the wilderness, and yes, I'm one who has close family who know the story, disregard it, and consider me an anti-vaccine wacko.

LInda L.

My next door neighbor told me last month that she took her two month old for his vaccines that day. Seemed like an awful lot to her, but she does not want him to get sick. She then asked me to look out for mail because they were going on a vacation the next day, complete with airplane travel. I did not comment on the expose to germs at airports, so I asked her if she would ever give her baby apples and bananas on the same day for the first time. Of course not, the baby could have an allergy and the pediatrician would be very angry that they would not know what caused the reaction, the apples or the bananas. So I asked her to please think about giving him six vaccines for eight diseases. How could she possibly know what caused a reaction, should she recognize one? She had never thought of this, and she is a medical doctor!

Jeannette Bishop

"I was vaccinated...and I was fine." I want to ask, are you as "fine" as you could have been? I was viewing a couple of interviews of Dr. Wakefield where he notes he was surprised by the difference in health he saw in the unvaccinated (or maybe less vaccinated) children of the chiropractors attending a convention, an observation he wasn't "looking for:"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSMftQbzt9I @ 13:15

I know there are changes from applying vaccination to a population that appear to be positive, but I can't help wondering if putting the level of energy and resources that go into vaccination into other disease morbidity and mortality prevention measures might make a happier outcome possible? I'm pretty certain that would be true of "developing" nations. I'm not sure about nations such as the U.S., but it does seem clear we could vaccinate less and see less harm without abandoning the practice altogether.

Bayareamom

@Cia Parker,

I loved your comment. When I was reading through it, I didn't realize it was YOU. I had no idea you've been through so much (although I know about your daughter somewhat).

I agree with you - completely.

Carol

The following is from Dr. Ken Alibek, biological warfare expert formerly of the Soviet Union, discussing the relationship between vaccines and allergies in Biohazard.

"I have lost all sense of smell and have the broadest range of allergies of anyone I know. I can't eat butter, cheese, eggs, mayonnaise, sausages, chocolate or candy. I swallow two or three pills of anti-allergy medicine a day--more on bad days, when my sinuses start to drain. Every morning, I rub ointment over my face, neck, and hands to give my skin the natural lubricants it has lost. The countless vaccinations I received against anthrax, plague, and tularemia weakened my resistance to disease and probably shortened my life....It is not medically advisable to combine too many courses of vaccination."

And:

"Repeated vaccination has been known to trigger or aggravate allergies....The chronic allergies I have suffered throughout my adult life are a direct consequence of repeated exposures to live vaccines, and to other biological substances I worked with."

cia parker

I don't think we should go back to the vaccine schedule of twenty years ago. The DTaP at 18 months erased my daughter's only two words (already brain-damaged by the hep-b vax at birth, given without permission) and she was diagnosed with autism two months later. Both my brother and I reacted to the first DPT at three months old: I with the same protracted inconsolable screaming with which my daughter reacted to the hep-B vaccine, and he with beating his head on the bars of his crib: symptoms of vaccine encephalitis. We both grew up with Asperger's.

Even in 1960, many doctors said that pertussis had become so mild that they wouldn't routinely give the pertussis vaccine to kids. They said that measles had become so mild that it wouldn't be worth it to develop a vaccine for it. We didn't and don't need either the DPT or the MMR, nor the polio vaccine unless polio were to come back here. I then reacted to a tetanus booster with both arms being paralyzed the same day, and was later diagnosed with MS, the result of having had nine DPTs. Probably because of the mercury, but they are dangerous vaccines even without mercury, causing many adverse reactions. A Shot in the Dark and Vaccine Roulette were produced BEFORE the vaccine epidemic began in 1988, because the pertussis vaccine has always been and still is, a very dangerous vaccine, although it is one of the oldest and most traditional. The disease just isn't worth the risk. (Shelter infants at home, of course, for their protection from all circulating diseases.)

Why don't we just try to promote a post-vaccine world, using alternative methods to prevent the most dangerous diseases and treat all of them when they occur?

Adam Mortenson

BEEN THERE, more times than I care to count. In fact, even in my own family I have people who should listen up but don't. In spite of all the autoimmune illnesses running through my family many of them just shrug it off when I try to educate them on vaccine dangers and the connections they have to many illnesses. You said it. IT HURTS.

Benedetta

Tell me about it. I have even had an aunt tell me she went ahead and got a flu shot and her with lupus. Course she got really sick --

and other family members that already had kids with well no not autism, but communication disorders, you know how twins develop their own language, and well they have ADD, and ADHD, and bipolar and really their IQ is well below average, but not autism.
and now has "GRAND" kids with - weak talking muscles, but that is not autism.

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