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Vaccine Side Effects and The Role on the Caregiver

Mother WorryBy Cathy Jameson

Side effects and vaccines.  That was the topic of last week’s Sunday post "What every Mom should know." It was more of an introductory post, really.  Much more information can and should be shared regarding vaccine side effects.  As necessary it is to expand on that information, today’s post isn’t going to be a continuation of the medical side effects that I’d touched on last week.  So, I won’t be listing every single vaccine on the market. 

I won’t post every single side effect of each of those vaccines starting with the mild to the moderate and then the severe. 

I won’t prove how utterly dangerous vaccines and their side effects can be. 

I also won’t share that $2.47 billion has been awarded by the US government to those who’ve experienced a vaccine injury or death. 

I won’t mention that from swelling at the sight of inject, to being diagnosed with autism, to dying as the result of a vaccination, side effects and adverse reactions demonstrate that vaccines truly are unavoidably unsafe.  

Nope.  I’ll save all that for another day. 

Instead, today’s post is going to focus on someone else: you. 

So, let’s begin.

You, who after witnessing vaccine side effects firsthand in a loved one, have been more than willing to tell others that some vaccines aren’t worth it.  Their physical pain and your emotional involvement is a lot to endure.  As the vaccine injured learns to live with their side effects and their altered life plans, so have you.  Side effects bog down.  They deny advancement.  They steal hope and destroy healing. 

But those side effects won’t be found on a package insert. 

They aren’t included in the fine print of a slick magazine advertisement. 

They also don’t need to be disclosed or legally reported by the doctor, nurse or medical technician either. 

Similar in ranking, the side effects that afflict a caregiver can be mild, moderate and severe.  They can be painful, and they most certainly can last over a great deal of time. 

Now, in sharing the side effects that a caregiver goes through is in no way meant to detract from the serious physical nature of the vaccine injury.  But, I think it’s important to talk about the caregiver’s as well because those side effects do exist.  Because side effects can cause delay.  Because they can affect someone physically, emotionally, financially while reducing their abilities.  And, like the actual vaccine side effect, the caregiver’s life can change, and does change, life forever.  I know this because I am caregiver to a child with a severe vaccine injury. 

Ronan’s side effects from his vaccines have lasted for years.  For the most part, I feel like I have a handle on what those are and how to best manage them.  But for my own?  The side effects affect how I live and how I care for Ronan. 

Take Ronan’s seizures, for instance.  They’ve increased steadily over the last few months.  As each seizure happened I began what felt like a post-traumatic stressful roller coaster ride of emotion.  Knowing how seizures affect Ronan and how desperately I wish he didn’t have them, I went from spurts of sadness to feeling waves of depression. 

For weeks I could not shake the extra negativity and the worry I had for my child, his situation and his future.  Weeks previously, when things were going well, I had less worry and more of a can-do spirit.  Triggers, like Ronan’s seizures, bring stresses to the surface.  The more triggers I face, the less effective of a caregiver I feel I become. 

I think many mothers go through these emotions, but having to juggle the additional medical and behavior issues, as well as my own unpredictable emotions, adds a great burden to an already heavy load.  It’s no wonder that when Ronan’s health declines, when school days are tough, when negative behaviors pepper our once successful schedule, the more visible my caregiver side effects are. 

Mild side effects, which can include emotions and also lead to certain behaviors, can be:

Sadness

Worry

Fear

Grief

Exhaustion

Anger

Moderate side effects a caregiver may experience:

Anxiety

Depression

Sleep disturbances

Insomnia

Physical toll on one’s health

Emotional trauma

In no particular order, and with no limit to severity or duration, the caregiver’s side effects can have one feeling numb to escalating to a fit of rage.  Each situation is handled differently by each caregiver.  What affects one may not affect another.  What can be consistent, though, is that just as the vaccine injured are ignored, forgotten and pushed aside, so will the emotions and needs of the caregiver.  He or she will quickly take second place behind the vaccine injured person’s needs.  That may not be a bad thing as the caregiver gives selflessly while constantly focusing on the vaccine injured, but not having an outlet to express or work through the heavy burden of caring for another’s health can come with a price.  

Because of the type of care required for the vaccine injured—be it round-the-clock healthcare or one-on-one supervision, oftentimes the side effects a caregiver feelings and needs might go undetected.  Eventually, though, if they’ve built up, a disaster may be looming.  If the caregiver’s physical and mental health are affected, things can take a turn for the worse, not just for the caregiver, but also for that of the person they are tending to. 

Severe emotional side effects might include:

Apathy

Neglect

Mental anguish

Violent tendencies

Murder

Suicide

It would be easier to do what needs to be done for the vaccine injured individual without emotions, without the side effects, without the trauma and without the reminders of why things are the way they are.  But emotions are part of life. 

I go through several emotions myself depending on the situation I am facing.  If I have a relapse, like what happened when Ronan’s seizures surfaced again and could not be controlled, I’m brought back to the early days.  To the days when nothing made sense.  To when no one I talked to could help.  To when nothing was working. 

Those moments of anguish bring me down to a low that can be very difficult to handle.  But, after I fall into that despair, and as I work my way out of the hole of helplessness, I benefit from the other kind of caregiver side effects, the kind that will save my mental and emotional health and will help me refocus on Ronan and his needs.

Unlike the vaccine side effects, the caregiver’s side effects pose a positive side:

-the desire to want to be further educated

-the discovery of talents never before realized

-the ability to advocate effectively

-the networking with others to create useful programs and products that will help the vaccine injured

-the craving to pay it forward

It would be ideal if more positive came with a vaccine injury for both the vaccine injured and the caregiver, but that isn’t the case.  Finding the positive and building upon it requires works.  Work and pushing through the negative is possible, but it has its drawback.  For me, drawbacks come when I revisit how this all happened.  That happens when think about what Ronan’s lost and when I remember what I’ve had to endure, too.  I try to suppress some of negative that comes with pushing through those memories, but suppressing glaring reminders of how quickly life changed has me cycling through a range of emotions instead of leaving one or two behind.

If Ronan’s vaccine injury never happened, would I be who I am today?  Would I ever experience profound moments of insight like I did when I was able to put two and two together about his health and his decline?  Would I be part of a movement demanding changes to what our government deems safe and effective?  Would I have learned a fraction of what I now know? Would I have made and kept lifelong friends that I now depend on like family?  I can only speculate what sort of life I’d be living if none of this happened. 

Moving forward with what I have, with whom I’ve become, with those who’ve helped me get to this point in life is what I should focus on because I can’t rewind to Ronan’s baby days to when the needle plunged his chubby thighs.  I can’t take away what was given to him.  I can’t turn back time to when I was ignorant.  I can’t ask for a redo and research things that I never knew to look up on my own.  I would love nothing more than to do that.  I would love nothing more than to have the strength to help my child heal 100% also.  But I have limitations that prevent that.

Despite those limitations, I will always be Ronan’s Mom.  I am here for him.  I celebrate when he celebrates.  I make progress when he makes progress.  I hurt when he hurts.  I cry when he cries.  Parts of me dies when he struggles, when he deteriorates and when he fails.  My abilities and his inabilities are woven together as are his emotions and mine.  It makes us stronger one moment and undeniably weak the next, but no matter what emotion, side effect or situation we are facing, I’m here for him.  Always. 

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.

 

Comments

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Autism did not happen to one member of our family it happened to all of us. It is certainly always the hardest for the one who has it which when things get particularly difficult I remind myself of repeatedly.

I have said this to the doctors, as they try to scold me for not vaccinating... I know what living with Autism feels like.... They don't. They see a child, maybe once a month, then they send them home, for their parents to live with. I say every vaccine pushing doc, should have to spend a month caring for a vaccine injured child! I bet their song would change! My step son has Aspergers, which.... is hell at times to live with. Exhausting..... There is no peace, and he is still young. No matter the amount of love.... It's hard!!! What does the future hold? My family also had custody of my cousin, who has Autism, the vaccine damage is recorded in his medical records (this was before the answer was deny deny deny)... He is so violent, he has to be in a special home because we are unable to handle him, he's 26.... This is what the future holds. 1 in 50 adults with Autism, not to mention all the other damage being done to our children. My daughter will NEVER be injected.... Not even vitamin k at birth.

It seems caregivers are expected to do this without a care in the world with big smiles in their faces!!!! Good for u for speaking up!

Excellent post Kapoore. we must expose them and turn public opinion on them first (and this is happening now) but one day these predators will be caged. They can count on it.

Thank you for opening up your heart to the reader and allowing us to see how beautiful the bond is between a mother and her child. This is the bond that through evolution allowed the human species to survive, and I am forever astonished at the hubris of these drug manufacturers and pseudo scientists who think they know more than the mother--mother and mother nature combined. Sometimes in my darker moments I think of them (the gov+big pharm) as a predator stocking our young and waiting until the little one falls for a second from the mother's glance and then they attack in the merciless and mindless manner of a wild beast. They have found camouflage behind their legislation, haven't they. But we will never take our attention off them. And they will fail in the end. I am sure of it. Not that this will be your consolation but maybe you will have a day of relief that at least that the predator is caged at last.

Spot on article, Cat, as usual.

One of the greatest instruments for healing the caregiver--to be surrounded by loving prayer!

We got your back!

The ripple effect ... yet another unlisted, and "unintended" consequence of vaccines.
Doubtful this would every be listed as a "secondary" effect!

The acknowledgement of the vaccines' side effects on caregivers is brilliant. It reminds me of the "secondary survivors" of rape.

Moms and dads (and siblings) are indeed the secondary survivors of vaccine injury.

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