Yes We Ring The Bell. Yes The Door Opens. No You Can't Go In.

By Kim Stagliano

Halloween is growing nearer - I can tell because there are more Christmas decorations for sale in the Stop & Shop, a sure sign that Halloween is upon us. As jabberwocky as that sounds - I think that's how much of Halloween feels to our children on the spectrum. It's a day (and evening) full of contradictions, things that aren't what they appear to be, and mixed messages.  For instance, how do you explain to your child, to whom you have taught doorway etiquette, the difference of Halloween.  Usually, doorway teaching goes like this:  "We ring the bell and wait for the door to open. We only ring once. No. Once. No. Not five times in a row. No. It's not a train whistle dear. Just once. Good. Now we wait for the door - no. Just once honey. Good. OK. Now you say, "hello," before you walk into the house. Don't let the screen door sl---.   Oof! It's OK. I'm fine (rub head). Good girl."  

Then there's Halloween.  "We ring the bell. Someone we don't know opens the door. Yes, that's a stranger honey. Right, we ring only one time. Good girl. Well, no. We don't walk into the house. Not on Halloween. We stand on the stoop and say Trick or Treat. Remember how we practiced that, honey?  And then they give us candy. I know you can't eat most of the candy. Yes, I take it and replace it with other candy that's GFCF. (In sotto voce, I eat it.)  Right.  First ring bell. Then take candy. Then walk away"

Don't get me started on costumes. I like every Mom of two toddlers who grew up with Dr. Suess purchased the Thing One and Thing Two costumes for Mia and Gianna when they were 2 and 3.  You can imagine how well the scratchy blue wigs went over. It took Gianna 11 years  before she'd allow me to put a touch of makeup on her nose to become a doggy.  I usually made the girls costumes.  Like the year Bella was Leo from Leo the Late Bloomer - with a comfy orange sweat suit and the hideous ghost I tried to make Gianna with yards of tulle draped over a white top.  Note to self, you should know how to sew if you are going to attempt to make a costume. Mia has never liked Trick or Treating. She's 17 and I no longer feel the urge to drag her out the door. Poor Bella, who has vision and gross motor issues spent the first 10 years of her life sitting in a wagon as I dragged her from door to door. Three years ago I dumptrucked her off the curb. Yay. Still no Mother Teresa.

How do you handle Halloween in your household? The food, the costumes, the school parties (crossing myself as if to ward off evil) the ever ringing doorbell.   On the 31st feel free to ring our doorbell Chez Stag. I'll be handing out candy as always. And my costume will be the typical Autism Mom attire (see photo.)

Boo!

Kim Stagliano is Managing Editor of Age of Autism. Her novel,  House of Cards; A Kat Cavicchio romantic suspense is available from Amazon in all e-formats now. Her memoir, All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa is available in hardcover, paperback and e-book.

 

Comments

[Visitor]

There some things that are confusing in all of the massive information out there. There are dark forces at work and there is a lot of "occult" symbolism used by those behind this, but a few that seem to understand the actions and complicity of those causing this also use some forms of "occult" symbols I have not studied. I am no fan of any occult symbols and feel while some using certain symbols mean well they are into things they don't understand, yet those few who use some occult symbols and that appear to be against the damage being caused are very open in exposing the dark forces. Is anyone here willing or able to explain this dichotomy. To be clear I came to my understanding of all the orchestated additive damage by observation and science research I have of late found one Dr. L. H. correlates a lot of what I assembled by studying the evidence.Visitor

[Liz P]

We trick or treat in comfy costumes (let's hear it for the balmy Florida weather) and let the kids go to as many houses as they desire. When it is over, we get out our organic candy and eat some pieces as the kids shop at my Halloween store, using their collected candy as cash. Oh, you want a volleyball and net from the thrift store? That'll cost you five mini Reeses cups, two mini Twizzlers, and a Nerds...I collect all kinds of little trinkets and toys from about August through October (let's hear it for thrift stores and yard sales) to stock the store for very little money - the kids love to "buy" the loot and we donate the collected candy to our local dance studio to toss from their float at the annual Christmas parade :)

[carly]

well this year Eric will be trick or treating. It will be the first year he gets to eat some candy(he lost 9 food allergies in one year) YAY probiotics, supplements, and diet/detox. Anyways I figure the switch witch will be flying high on her broom......leaving 2 kids with 7 pieces of candy each and 1 toy.

[Tami]

one year, when my mom was living in a protected (gates) neighborhood, we gave notes to some of the neighbors closest to her about my son's food allergies. The notes said something like "we want to make Halloween special this year for a very special trick-or-treater. Pam's grandson has too many food allergies to eat the store-bought candy, but he wants to go trick-or-treating. If we provided the candy or treats, would you wbe willing to look for Pam's grandson and play along with us? If so, let us know." My mom trick-or-treated withus, so her neighbors would recognize the special guy and put his special candy and treats in his container. Best year ever- no disappointments!

[Jeannette Bishop]

We stopped going out with my daughter's diet change. I think she was just starting to catch on to the custom, too, but she was getting a little old. Now she loves to dress up and of course have her custom-made treats at home. I think her favorite part is seeing who comes to the door.

[Kim Mack Rosenberg]

My son's school has trick or treating in the school with non-candy treats - stickers, halloween pencils etc. I love that idea!

[Gayle]

Great article as always, Kim! My now adult son with autism went trick or treating every year and we always came home with a bag full of chocolates. Luckily, he hates chocolate, and with a high peanut allergy to boot, he never ate any of it! I, the chocoholic, had to eat all of it! My son now answers the door and helps give out the treats with us and he enjoys seeing all the kids in their Halloween costumes.

[Benedetta]

Thanks Kim the Stag : )
It was nice of you sharing.
I am glad I am not the only mother that has dump trucked her kid in a wagon.

[Zed]

Kim, you're an amazing rock. Your children are doubly blessed by your character and your sense of humor. Thank you for the example.

[Stagmom]

Angus, that's lovely. I have brought bags to neighbors for my girls - so that they could eat the sweets too - so many kids have allergies and diabetes and other food issues today - Halloween isn't about the "razor blades in your apple!" any longer (an old American worry that was never true) but "Johnny can't actually eat any food!" Progress? I think not. BOO. HOO.

[Angus Files]

A diabetic girl aged 9 stays not far from us and my wife is friendly with the mother and family.The girl goes out and guises but cant eat the sweets as to high in sugar ..last year we managed to make her up a bag of low sugar sweets, MB12 lollies, etc and the girl was delighted to have a bag she could eat for once...no doubt it will be the same this year..