Accountability

NY, NJ govs (one Dem, one GOP) clamp down on Ebola quaratine for returning health care workers, slam ever-changing CDC guidelines. That's because politicians are accountable to the people, unlike arrogant CDC. -0- Here's an idea -- if you've been...

How Mercury Triggered The Age of Autism

Conversation with the Authors of Plague

Autism Public Service Announcement

Canary Party Vaccine Court Video

A Glimpse into Autism

Meet Our Advertisers


Olmsted's Original UPI Series

  • The Age of Autism Tag

« Brian Deer at the University of WI La Crosse: “An Elaborate Fraud” | Main | UConn's Seth Kalichman Funded By Gates Foundation To Surveil So Called Anti-Vaccine Citizens »

The Courage to Protect

Mother DeerBy Cathy Jameson

Someone told me once that some of my writing sounds like I’m angry.   While that is sometimes true I will say that my writing includes real stories.  Those stories are from my personal experiences and those of my vaccine-injured son.  They are full of honesty, emotion and 100% mine.  Everything I write is original, and for the most part, is received well by other parents and those who support families such as mine. 

I received a message that one of the most emotionally charged posts I have written to date called “Forgive and Forget?” was referenced a few days ago.  My piece was so full of emotion that what I felt while writing that piece stayed with me through the week.  I wrote a follow-up post titled “Old Wounds and Righteous Indignation”, written as the result of me having to cope with several triggers and another layer of emotion.  I couldn’t suppress the feelings from those triggers, so I shared my thoughts in the hopes that could move through them.  It worked.  People responded to both posts and told me they too went through similar experiences. They thanked me for being so honest in my writing and to keep at it.  That kind of feedback is typical from other parents, and I truly appreciate it.

But, why share such intense posts?  Why bother putting Ronan’s story out there for so many to read?  Why make public such private parts of my family’s life?  I expose the highs and lows of many aspects of raising Ronan.  I question what some consider controversial topics.  I continuously contemplate what topic to write about next as a steady flow of ideas flood my thoughts daily.  Since Ronan’s needs encompass much of my day I always consider writing about him.  When I do write about Ronan it is always with love and devotion.  So, why so some people question what I’ve shared as the honest truth? 

Maybe because I’m just a parent.  Maybe because I’m emotionally invested.  But there’s a reason for that: it’s because I’m a parent. 

I’m a parent whose emotion brought me strength I needed to piece together my child’s life.  As it crumbled in front of me, I first found, and then drew on my own strength.  Ronan’s life started to crumble in front of others too, but they didn’t see the need to react.  I wouldn’t accept it when they surrendered their efforts and allowed Ronan to continue to flounder.  When Ronan needed help the most I was offered nothing useful or hopeful.  Instead I got answers like, “Let’s just wait and see,” and, “Don’t worry; he’ll catch up.”  Then, when more time was wasted, “He’s going to be like this for a very, very long time,” because it was easier for them to do nothing than to admit they should be doing something.

No way was I going to allow someone to write off Ronan’s life like that.  No way was I willing to say we’ve exhausted all options when “we” didn’t include me, my thoughts or my opinion.  No way was I ready to let someone else make such dead-end decisions like that for child.  I picked up where they left off.  I had to.  I did it because it was what I had to do as Ronan’s parent.

So, yes I’m just a parent.  But, a lot has shaped who I am as that parent.  A lot has changed because of how I have to parent all of my children, especially Ronan.  His needs are greater and require more focus.  Because of his vaccine Injury.  Because of the autism.  Because of the lack of support.  Because of trial and error to make things better.  Because of the struggles.  But also because of the gains.  The successes.  Our faith.  And hope.  And, of course, because of Ronan.  All of that makes me who I am.    

Something else makes me who I am, too: layers and layers of emotions.   So many emotions run through me.  They are mostly raw.  But, they are all mine.  Just like the stories I write.  What I’m doing is telling the truth and how real this life is, which includes sharing that some of it could have been different for Ronan and for all of us.   I won’t stop even when others think I am lashing out, ranting or bemoaning our situation, or later still when others misuse my words or ideas in their speeches or blogs that have nothing to do with Ronan.

To that I say you have no idea.  You have no idea and no right to twist the truth. You have refused to walk in my shoes and see what has happened to my child and so many others.  You have no idea what children like my son go through, what we parents do day in and day out, how much we have sacrificed and how we will always find strength to fulfill the extraordinary efforts we must give for our children.  You have no idea how much my child is loved, cared for, prayed for, and believed in.  You have no idea, and you have no right to bring any of our children, including Ronan, into your conversation.

I, like so many other parents, am determined.  Not desperate.  When determination rules your every effort, like it has mine good will come.  Ronan is that good.  He is a reminder of all that I do, and all that I hope for.  He is and will always be a reminder of who I am as a parent and that what I am doing is right.   I can’t say that much for some others who are so adamantly against our community as they refuse to see, refuse to listen and who constantly attempt to create a divide that shouldn’t exist.

Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

How could anyone not be angry? God loves you Cat, and Ronan loves you. Add that to an auditorium full of us and that anger will move mountains.

Someone thought you were angry??? Well, actually, I have sometimes wondered why you are not MORE angry. I sometimes imagine, in fact, that all the anger of the autism parents could be focused into storming the bastions of the CDC, WHO , and all the other criminal organisations who still talk about ALL the (fake) research that PROVES that vaccines dont cause autism. I , personally, have now had to accept that for many different reasons of their own, many parents will not dare to look at what may have caused their child to become autistic.
It is , perhaps , fortunate that I live in India, where traditionally some percentage of the population was always sceptical about vaccines, and where a very very large percentage of the population is familiar with people who will take advantage of any poor gullible, helpless person for monetary gain. Therefore, most peoplehere have more of an open mind about vaccines.

I appreciate your anger. I think I shared as well about the less obviously vaccine injured who have slipped under the radar screen but still have big struggles in life, and the emotional scars to carry. Wouldn't it be great if doctors would at least start thinking twice before vaccinating everyone as if everyone is just the same, with the same genetic vulnerabilities. Vaccines can trigger autoimmune disease and depending on the genetic make-up that could be diabetic or celiac or something else. Of course, you could say the child already had that under the surface somewhere and the vaccine just brought it out. That is why informed consent is so important. If someone read the pamplet of side effects and one was heart failure I would think--well I might get that because my mother had heart failure. But pediatricians don't give informed consent as they are required to by law because then they wouldn't make so much money, and that should make at least someone angry. And you can't sue them even if you get sick, because they are protected. And that should make someone angry. It's not only outrageous: it's creepy.

In the previous century I was educated in the classic mode: reason, think, analyze, conclude. Therefore, when I see/hear/read what is being said by those who berate parents like Cathy, I have to wonder: what is behind the contempt? What are they thinking?

Can it just be protecting a cash cow? Is it just about money? OK, so maybe it's also about reputation (doctor-university-association-industry).

But really, 4-letter, crass, contemptuous, deliberate trashing?

Of whom? Not all doctors, not all parents, just ... these particular parents, this particular doctor. Why? Because they won't go quietly into the night? Come on! What is the deal? It's not as if the pharmaceutical industry-medical association, as gigantic and global as it is, has nobody on their side (Bill Gates, call your office).

I refuse any and all conspiracy theories (remember I am a reason-think-analyze-conclude type of person). Yet, I wonder what am I missing? No one sets out to deliberately belittle, mock, and totally disrespect a group of people with distortions of the truth. No one slams the door on a logical look at the facts. No one smears foul-smelling garbage at others ... at least without expecting the stench to stick to his hands.

Sure, it's happened in the past (slavery comes to mind). But now? In the enlightened 21st century?

You shall know the truth and the truth shall ... make you a target. Thank you Cathy for taking the hits yourself so that your child will be protected.

Standing by you ... walking with you ... always

Yes, modern "science" needs hate campaigns. Deer's accomplice Ben Goldacre who purports to be a proponent of good science, not only sells 'MMR is Safe' T shirts, mugs and thongs from his 'BadScience' website the blog used to bear the advice ".. personal anecdotes about your MMR tragedy will be deleted for your own safety".

http://www.bmj.com/content/335/7618/480?tab=responses

The strategy is to make things true by bullying. Of course, making people angry and then mocking them is another technique of bullying.

May I add that negative judgments of autism families generally come in the utter absence of direct contact or any meaningful communication with them.

Last week in LaCrosse, Brian Deer positioned himself as a bridge between the audience and the Lancet families. Then he referred to them sneeringly, dismissed their children's medical diagnoses, and encouraged others to laugh at them.

The net effect reinforced the ongoing offensive stereotype that's served Deer's "career" so well. Given that foul blast of propaganda convenient to industry and government, it was sadly ironic that the annual German Oktoberfest was going on not far from that chilly street.

Eloquent as always, Cathy... People who want easy answers to vaccine/autism issues view our righteous and deserved anger as threatening. So mentally they perform a neat trick -- the selfish listener flip-flops the concept of victimization, co-opting the caring emotions due the actual sufferer.

That's where UW-LaCrosse faculty are being led by Deer and other players... as if their fears of autism parents are valid, and they have a right to pity because they're conjuring (and promoting) fears about "the great unwashed." The trouble is, as those discomfiting feelings percolate unvented, they can reach the boiling point. The manipulation of those volatile feelings, combined with jingoistic medical patriotism, could come right out a Department of Defense psychological operations playbook.

Though the UW-LaX faculty are not up to direct confrontation (i.e., debate), in a passive/aggressive manner they set the wheels in motion for others to act aggressively against families of vaccine-injured children.

I hate it when people insinuate that if someone is angry, he or she is most likely off in their understanding. This is a handy and insulting way to dismiss what a person is saying. But it is based on a faulty reasoning! First, there are many situation in which righteous anger is the only appropriate response. If a great injustice is done to a person and s/he is NOT angry, something is wrong with them; they could have been brainwashed into learned helplessness or deprived of essential rights. Second, people tend to ascribe negative emotion to statements loaded with harsh facts, even if it's the facts that clearly speak for themselves. Both of these happen in the autism discussion very often. To those of you who continue putting the truth out here, thank you! for every person who shrinks away in fear, there is another who listens and appreciates all you do.

Teresa said it much better than I ever could.

Thank you Cat for sharing so many personal memories, thoughts and emotions about Ronan and your family. I do similar writings about Megan and it is important for us personally to be able to share our stories, but also important for others to be able to feel that they are not alone - that we on the same road traveling together.

If there is ever criticism of those writings, it may be that the Truth is too much for others to handle, so they challenge and try to dismiss those words. Your honesty and determination is way louder than their conversations or blogs. Your message is the Truth.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been saved. Comments are moderated and will not appear until approved by the author. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear until the author has approved them.

@AgeofAutism Tweets

follow me on Twitter

SPONSORS

  • HC Logo 2014
  • Canary final logo
  • VOR logo sidebar
  • Safeminds 2014 Logo
Age of Autism's Facebook Page