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The Bah Humbug Moments of Autism

Bah_humbug By Lanie Anderson-Barrett

Who knew autism could be so challenging?

Twelve eggs splatting,
Eleven shopping tantrums,
Ten hurtful headbutts,
Nine strangers staring,
Eight flooded bathrooms,
Seven foods only,
Six windows broken,
Five poops outside,
Four plumber calls,
Three teeth knocked out,
Two black eyes,
And one adored little boy.

Lanie Anderson-Barrett lives with her two kids and partner, Kristin, of 24 years on the island of Alameda, across the bay from San Francisco.  Prior to having children, she served as the first female General Manager of a kickin' radio station, WRAS-FM, in Atlanta, followed by a stint as Assistant Editor of the "Ellen" sitcom.  For the past 13 years, she's been a stay-at-home mom to a dynamic and typically-developing 13 year-old daughter, Riley, and a very active, inquisitive, and hard-headed eight year-old son, Jackson. For respite and solace, she leads the high-octane bluegrass band, the Bay Island Ramblers. 


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David Cavaliere

Great version. It made me smile and made me appreciate my little guy that much more. Me and my wife get alot of laughs from our autistic son.


so funny and yet so true. My son is at four foods only. and Tis' the season because instead of egg splats right now its glass balls on the Christmas tree. yes, how can I forget the Dixie cups shoved down the toilet along with an entire package of flushable wipes. great song :) gotta laugh or I'll cry

chantal Sicile-Kira

Life with autism is very entertaining. Love the poem. Thanks for sharing!



I remember the Egg Splat game well, and I also remember when my daughter flooded the second floor bathroom in my father's beach house while playing with what seemed like 500 cups in the plugged-up sink! My father's memories of returning from a bike ride to find Niagara Falls pouring through the dining room ceiling, accompanied by the loud humming heard from outside of the bathroom door as he raced up the staircase to find the source of the flooding, will live on forever.

Unfortunately we are still living "Seven Foods Only" :-(

Thanks again for a badly needed laugh!

Angie Mercier



poops OUTSIDE are's finding the surprises INSIDE that aren't :P

Lanie Anderson-Barrett

I will tell you that since the writing of this, there have been no poops outside (and to tell you the truth, there were more than five, but it worked so nicely in that line, all drawn out); however, I just lost ten eggs about an hour ago to his Egg Splat game. It's always something.


Loved the "five poops outside", though my version would've been "twelve poops outside".


I love the seven foods only! Oh, how true!!

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