Child Warrior: Mia

By Kim Stagliano

Meet Child Warrior Mia, so named for Jenny McCarthy's book, Mother Warriors. Mia is my oldest daughter and today is her 14th birthday. 

I said "no" to all drugs during delivery. Somehow I had it in my head that I needed to keep all chemicals out of my baby's tiny system. So I took nothing. (Not even a stick to chew, although I'm not sure Mark's left arm will ever be the same.)  And then the hospital pediatrician gave her a Hep B shot loaded with mercury. I didn't know. I just didn't know. Miss Mia has been a Child Warrior for over 11 years.



Happy Birthday, Mia. Love, Mom.

Kim Stagliano is Managing Editor of Age of Autism. For Mia and every child like her. 

Comments

[autismgirls]

Mia looks like her mommy...Happy belated Birthday Mia!

[Barbara Fischkin]

Happy Belated Birthday Mia.
We will find a cure.
Meanwhile there your beauty and your triumphs are there to celebrate!

xxoox Barbara and the Mulvaney boys

[michele i.]

Hi Kim ~
The picture of Mia is just beautiful.

I hope that you guys had a wonderful day. You are an amazing mom.
xxoo
~michele

[Jim Witte]

Kelli Anne said:
"You are a saint! I was *screaming* for an epidural"

Did they induce labor with prostaglandins or oxytocin? From what I've read, this can turn labor from simply very painful (like *I'd* know!) to unendurable, as they actually increase contractions, before the uterus and cervix are ready.

Jim

[AutismFather]

beautiful! happy birthday mia

[Angela Warner]

Happy Birthday Mia!

[Lin]

Happy birhtday, Mia!! What a lovely young lady you are!

Thank you, Kim, for your willingness to continue to share your life with us and make a difference in the lives of so many!

[katie wright]

What a beautiful girl!!!
She looks so much like their Mom!!
It is a whole warrior household in the Stagliano family.
Happy Birthday Mia!!!!

[Twyla]

Happy happy birthday to a beautiful girl!!

[Nancy Smith]

Kim,
What a beautiful girl Mia is! You must be so proud of her. Little did I know that the 3 Rhogam injections I had in the early 1970's would have a lasting effect on my life. My fourth daughter and I both developed Graves Disease and she has a son with Autism...imagine that! Thanks for all you and AOA do for us.

[Julee Huy]

Happy Birthday Mia!

What a beautiful young woman you are!

[Rachel Ford]

Happy Birthday Mia! You are beautiful, both as a baby and as a young woman. Kudos to your mom too! She's doing a great job here at AoA.

[Cathy Jameson]

Happy Birthday Mia! You have a gorgeous name (one of my favorites) and a beautiful smile. I love the baby picture Mom posted too :)

Cathy Jameson

[claudine Liss]

You are now letting people "know" each and every day! You have a great mom Mia--
Happy Birthday Mia!
Your post brought me to tears.

[Theresa Cedillo]

A Great Big Happy Birthday Miss Mia! You are beautiful!

Love

Theresa (and Miss Michelle)

[Teresa]

Kim

You have updated here and I didn't see the "next" page of comments and indeed, I am there. thanks!

[Teresa]

Hey Kim,

My 6am post didn't make it here -- though I know you saw it from your email so, here's my #2.

Meg is 15 but not for long as March is right around the corner. The bittersweet birthdays of our precious girls are the heart and soul of this journey, this fight. They are the connection to the past and the ultimate link to the unknown future and we...you...are doing SO much that you are changing their future -- now --.

big XX

[Ben's Dad]

Happy Birthday Mia! I'm sure there were a lot of smiling readers today hoping that you have a great day and a great year! I wish your winning picture stayed at the top a little longer, because that guy there now on JB Handley's piece scares me a little.

[Gatogorra]

Right about now, I'd like acknowledgement from the other side that, even if they can't tell everything from a photograph, there's no denying that GF/CF kids of ultra-health-conscious, alt-med parents are exceptionally healthy-looking and beautiful.

Helps if the raw material was there, too, but that glow is the result of lot of devotion, commitment and defiance, as we all know.

Happy Birthday, gorgeous girl (your mom's Mini-me).

[Stagmom]

KelliAnn, I'm pretty focused when I set my mind to it. And I did the same for Gianna and Bella. Note to women pregnant for the second time, you DO NOT forget the pain - that's a big fat lie to propagate the species! By Bella I was dreading labor knowing the freight train was on it's way!

Birth doula - that's the way to go. She intercepts the nurses who want you on your back, in bed, on a monitor so they can manage more rooms at a time.

And thanks to everyone for complimenting Miss Mia (and me too.) Mia is a thousand million times more beautiful than I'll ever be - inside and out.

Kim

[Gatogorra]

Right about now, I'd like acknowledgement from the other side that, even if they can't tell everything from a photograph, there's no denying that GF/CF kids of ultra-health-conscious, alt-med parents are exceptionally healthy-looking and beautiful.

Helps if the raw material was there, too, but that glow is the result of lot of devotion, commitment and defiance, as we all know.

Happy Birthday, gorgeous girl (your mom's Mini-me).

[Kelli Ann Davis to Saint Kim]

"NO DRUGS." Mark looked at me like was insane.

You are a saint! I was *screaming* for an epidural. And they wouldn't give it to me -- so I screamed louder. (I was in labor for 12 hours)

Suffice to say, I was drawing so much attention to my room, that when I did eventually get it, Jim said he went outside the room and saw a huge "smiley face" on the magnetic board next to my room number.

[Kelli Ann Davis]

Stunning. Looks just like her Mom.

Kim, best to you and your family. All three of your girls are just beautiful.

Kelli

[htbenz]

Happy Birthday and God Bless You and your loving family...

You are all in our prayers...

Harry & Gina Tembenis

[Rene]

Hey Mia

I hope you get an extra-big slice of GFCF cake! Have a wonderful year.

[MT/hellokittiemama]

Happy Birthday Mia!

What a beautiful young woman she is.

Hang in there Kim! Birthdays are always so bittersweet. Alex's bday is this week also... the big 8 on Thursday. I find that having a birthday at holiday time can really be tricky.

I hope Mia has a wonderful day today :)

~MT
ps. Got the autism flag, can't wait to fly it!

[Chris]

Happy birthday, Mia!

FWIW, my ASD child was born at home and did not get the Hep B at birth. But she did get five shots at her 2 month checkup. And then again at four months. And six months, and so on :( Accidently got revaxed with the MMR.

I wish I could do the entire first year of her life over. I'll bet most of us reading here wish that as well.

[Michelle]

Happy Birthday, beautiful Mia.

Kim,
I am a birth doula and I know exactly what you mean by "stimming" during labor. Every woman has a ritual she uses to get through the pain. It's coping mechanisms from a totally primitive part of her brain. In our training we are taught to look for these rituals and follow the mother's rhythm. For each woman it's different, but in some ways very similar. For instance, a lot of women like to sway back and forth, but each will do it in her own way, her own position. Some women make noise, some don't.

I work inside of a broken system, so of course it's difficult work. But, it is the Hep B shot that is hardest for me, as a mother with a recovering child. When our DAN! Dr found out what I did for a living he asked, "So, you see babies get the Hep B shot at a day old?"

It's hardest for me to see the beauty and perfection of these little beings, and within a day of labor and birth they are forever changed. They may not all develop autism, but there are changes we will never see or understand.

Michelle

[Michelle]

Happy Birthday Mia! You are one beautiful young woman!

[J Byrd]

Happy Birthday Mia!!!!

[jen]

OMG!!!! I think that is the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen in my life. Such eyes!!! Congratulations and continued success to you.

[Gail C.]

Dear Kim,
Thank you for sharing so much of your beautiful family with us. Mia's gorgeous and her image is amazingly similar to the one of you on the sidebar.

[K Fuller Yuba City]

I don't know how anyone could look into the eyes of our children and not see that *They are in there* Autism is stopping them from leading the life they were meant to live. Mia is magnificent. Thank you for sharing your family. Thank you for helping us see hope with the heartache, and humor with the horror.
Happy Happy Birthday Mia. I hope Mom gets presents too!

[Kathryn Johansen]

Happy Birthday to a gorgeous child. Kim, the same thing happened to my son, starting with the hep B. Didn't know either. She has you and that is everything.

[nhokkanen]

Happy birthday, Mia! You and your mom look like you stepped out of some lovely classic oil painting hanging in a Florentine mansion. Thanks, Kim, for sharing.

[Andrea]

I guess I should have said why I brought up the Huffington Post piece.

I shared that piece with my neuro-typical daughter the day it came out. She was just as touched as I was and told me if she was at the mall with Mia she would never allow any of her friends to make fun of her, or her classmates. She would probably go up to her and see if she could engage her, or even just go over and smile at her.
She is not embarassed by her brother and really has done quite a bit to educate her peers and her teachers about autism through the years. She understands what autism is and can see a "person" for just being a "person". Autism is something she has known all of her life and for her this is a "normal" everyday part of life. I don't want to make her out to be a saint. But, I couldn't be more proud of her. Her kindergarten teacher told me at my very first parent teacher conference she has never met a more empathetic child.

What I want parents of children with autism to remember is this: Along with a bunch of kids with autism in this world- we have a bunch of siblings of kids with autism- who have been profoundly impacted by this life.

These children I believe will be the ones working in fields that will help our needy children. They will be the therapists. They will be the nutrionists- implementing the speical diets and promoting the supplements. They will be the scientists looking for the causes. And, the doctors implementing the treatments that will hopefully lead to cures.

We are all in this together. And, as the autism numbers have grown, so have the numbers of people who have been impacted by a loved one. As our disabled children grow so will their non-disabled siblings and peers- who "get" autism. This I believe is a silver lining.

Andrea

[Pamela]

What a gorgeous girl! She looke just like you Kim.

Happy Birthday Mia!

[Cathy]

What a beautiful girl.....
Happy Birthday!

[Gayle]

Mia is just beautiful as a young woman. She was a stunningly gorgeous, full-cheeked baby, too. Please wish her a wonderfully Happy Birthday for me.

I read your 2007 Huffington article, and it made me think about the future for my children. My children are now 7, and I am humbled every day, feeling so many different emotions, wondering what they will have achieved by the time they are due for "transitioning" to adult life. I worry about just how mean-spirited their peers will be toward them, and how it will adversely effect them. I see glimmers of possibility for my children at times, and then at others, I think I am only kidding myself about their potential. It is so difficult to reconcile these thoughts, and it is extremely painful to one's heart. I pray for all of us and more importantly for our very beautiful children.

[kathleen]

Happy birthday Mia!!
What a beautiful young lady!

[Diane F.]

Wonderful pictures. An absolutely adorable baby grew into a beautiful young woman warrior. Happy birthday and God bless you and your family.

[Allison]

Happy Birthday Mia!! What a beautiful young lady she's become! And she has the most extraordinarily fantastic Mother! Much love to the entire Stagliano family...

[Sylvia]

She is beautiful, and WOW, she looks so much like you Kim!

I hope her birthday is wonderful.

Rock on Mia!

[Kathy]

Oh gosh, I had a feeling I shouldn't read Kim's story about Mia's field trip. I share the fear and the tears Kim. How many times I've sobbed at a computer screen reading our stories, yours is mine because we share autism. I dropped my son off at school today and was angry, just plain angry at vaccines and the injury they've caused to so many - damn the denial ... my son too looks as normal as the next. Try to make a decision of handle an ounce of stress and forget about it. Confusion, meltdown soon follow. He's come a long way but when mornings like today happen, I get pissed off and I cry alone in my car for our kids.

[Stagmom]

Gayatri, yes. I remember being in those childbirth classes, and when they asked who was considering natural childbirth, they told us to stand on a line with numbers on the floor. It was a pain scale. I stood at number 9 or 10. I hadn't even thought about how I'd deliver my children, it just popped into my head, "NO DRUGS." Mark looked at me like was insane. "What???" I was adamant. We hired a birth doula.

Funny thing, during labor, I stimmed to control the pain. For all three girls, I paced and I flicked my fingers and my wrists in a true autistic looking stim. I could not make eye contact with anyone. I needed to be left alone and not touched. I was autistic during labor.

Is stimming in our kids then a way to deflect their pain? I think so.

Kim

[karenatlanta]

Happy Birthday Mia!
You look beautiful!!!

Yes, Kim our kids in the 90s got enough Mercury to take down an elephant. Our 14 year old was loaded up with it from day one.
Later it manifested in learning disabilities.
I often say I researched everything diapers, baby food, labor plans...everything but those damn shots!

[Gayatri]

"I said "no" to all drugs during delivery. Somehow I had it in my head that I needed to keep all chemicals out of my baby's tiny system."

First child syndrome isn't it, wanting to do it right and by the book. Little did we know we needed to write our own book, that we would become the experts when it came to our kids' health. That the doctors were clueless. That they continue to be so amazingly clueless, I still have a hard time coping with that particular reality.

Your daughter comes shining through in that picture. Look at her eyes, she is on her way!!

[Anne Dachel]

Kim,
I have a photo of your family on my frig.
I see it over and over everyday.
It's one of the things that keeps me going.
Anne Dachel
Media editor

[Andrea]

Kim,

Your girls are all so beautiful.

Happy Birthday lovely Mia.

Our oldest children are just a few weeks apart in age. My daughter celebrated 14 just a few short weeks ago. My daughter was lucky enough to escape autism. Her brother was not.

I'll never forget the Huffington Blog Post you wrote about Mia going to the mall for a field trip. What a heart-wrenching read that was. I hope you don't mind I posted a link her for others to read it:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-stagliano/i-will-shake-your-foundat_b_57945.html

Happy Birthday dear Mia- you certainly deserve a wonderful day and so much more sweetheart.

Thank you Kim for all that you do. I admire you so very much.

Andrea

[Julia C.]

What a beautiful girl!

[Sonja]

Beautiful...just beautiful! You are a lucky young lady to have such a fighter for a mother. All my best to you and the family.

[Jeanne]

Happy Birthday Mia!! :-)

[Diane]

Happy Birthday Mia! I hope this year and those that follow are wonderful for you.

Kim....none of us knew. But now everyone does because of mothers like you.

[Teresa]

Kim,

She is absolutely beautiful! Happy Birthday, Mia!!

Her greatest gift is having you for her momma! Best of days -

Teresa