New Jersey To Mandate Cradle Past Grave Vaccination!

By Kim Stagliano

New Jersey announced today that a new vaccine will be mandated for all corpses in order to fight Halloween's frightening disease, InBOOenza. Created by doctors at Chop-you-up Hospital in Killadelphia, in conjunction with researchers from Die-zer Pharmaceuticals, the new vaccine, called BooCryRin, is made from 100% formaldehyde.  Die-zer is happy to report that in an effort to protect the neurological health of dead people, from infants to the elderly, this new vaccine will be Thimerosal free.

The American Academy of Skeeviatricians is on board as saying, "See? We love children. Even the dead ones." The American Dreadical Association states, "Cradle past grave vaccination is a gift from God, with whom, by the way, we are negotiating for this vaccine to be adminstered as a requirement to admittance into heaven. The devil is in the details."

The BooCryRin vaccination will be covered by insurance including Getya, InHumana and Mediscare. Governor Corzine is contemplating digging up all corpses dating back to June 6, 1966 for this vaccine as a preventative healthcare measure.

Die-zer is in negotiation with rock star Rob Zombie to become spokesperson for BooCryRin. As anticipated, Die-Zer shares came to life at the news.

Autism Shrieks' Bob and Suzanne Fright and Peter Gotohell have been as quiet as the dead on this mandate, per usual.

Kim Stagliano is Rampaging Preditor of Rage of Clawtism. Happy Halloween. And BOO!

Comments

[Lisa Clark]

Hee! Hee! Hee! This is funny. I like the way everything is frighteningly true.

[Sandy Gottstein]

Gosh you're good.

[chantal Sicile-Kira]

Love your writing, Kim!!!

Boo to you too!

Chantal
www.chantalsicile-kira.com

[Elizabeth Soliday]

Patty, I researched Group B Strep because my younger son was sick shortly after birth and I was curious as to where it came from and why I had it during my second pregnancy and not my first. I am wondering if you could tell me how a cow disease got into humans?

I have a lot of questions and somehow many of the answers point toward vaccines. The first known case of group b strep (AKA bovine mastitis) in humans was in the 1930s, could it be from the bovine tissue/serum in the polio vaccines? I don't know.

Go into the history of any disease and you will see what I mean...disease originates after someone has been screwing around with nature.

[Twyla]

Patty, your comment doesn't make any sense.

[Tim Kasemodel]

I see a quick (spookily quick) resopnse from Patti:

"Does the simple fact of giving birth eradicate any responsibility for outcome?"

I have seen some scary things this halloween but this takes the cake.

It is hard to say I take this out of context because there is not a lot of context there, but.......

All of us parents that believe or child's (or children's, in the case of the author) situation is due to environmental issues outside of our control would love to find someone willing to tell us - to our face - we are not "taking responsibility for the outcome" of our child's health.

I do not watch scary movies (I watch the same Sesame street video for months on end) so I can not begin to describe the scene that would ensue, but I suspect it would involve a lot of blood and gore.......

Just in time for Halloween. So Patti, wherever you are, just leave responsibiltiy out of it - because we WERE responsible - naive idiots just like you who believed we were being told the truth about what was being injected into out children.

[Laura]

Very scary funny, Kim! As for the equally scary, not funny Patty: The giving birth part-- yes, I gave birth to a child I probably gave plenty of my own toxins in utero, including a flu shot while pregnant, and then proceeded to "prevent the spread of dangerous diseases" by vaccinating/giving my child autism. I however take full responsibility for that outcome, which is why we're doing everything possible to remove the vaccine toxins and damage!

[sue]

Love it Kim. As always, a lesson with a laugh

[Louise Kuo Habakus]

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time, Kim. HA! It's brilliant. I literally laughed out loud... several times. Thanks for the Halloween treat. Louise

[K Fuller]

Boolicious!

[Maurine Meleck]

Hey Staggerliano,
You have outdone yourself with this POST MORTEM. I'm calling Bill Mahr tomorrow.
You nailed the coffin.
Sincerely
Governor Corpsezone
(AKA Maurine Meleck)

[Michelle]

Great writing - thanks for the Halloween chuckle!

[jennifer]

Patty, I think most of us do the best that we can when we are pregnant (if that's what your getting at?). We try to eat healthily, avoid toxins and not smoke, drink. Most educated,caring moms would think about that kind of thing. So that's why it's especially galling that after all that care during pregnancy, you offer up your child to be mainlined with stuff that they really haven't studied. I can't believe in the U.S. that they give hep b to newborns. Criminal!!

[Tanners Dad]

Thanks for the good laugh... Things are kind of spooky today... Check out this report from the oversight and government reform committee

Internal FDA Documents Show Career Staff Objected to Agency’s New Stance on Preemption

http://oversight.house.gov/story.asp?ID=2266

[Craig Willoughby]

Yes, Patty, all of us who have VACCINATED our children are going to spread diseases to you and the rest of the VACCINATED people. Shows a lot of confidence in the vaccine program, does it not? Now, get in line with the rest of the sheeple so that the Church of the Immaculate Vaccination can tell you what to think. Buh bye.

Warning: This post may contain sarcasm.

[Cathy Jameson]

Mwuhahahahahahahaha! Kim, nice piece. Your snarkiness is perfect for a day like today. Some people may be offended, but after we parents have done just about all but throw in the towel, it's not a bad idea to make do a teeny tiny bit of laughing to get you through another day of vaccine-injury!

Cathy Jameson

[Petra]

Ah Patty, dearest. You really are 'boo-ing' to the wrong crowd here.

AS Kim said, almost all of us DID vaccinate our kids (and our kids are paying for that decision every single day). And as Kim said, if you believe vaccines are safe and effective, then go right ahead and vaccinate yours to the fullest. Your child should then be "safe" from any and all "dangerous" diseases spread by our un/selectively vaccinated litle parasites.

And as to spreading "dangerous" diseases amongst "the rest of us." It's amazing how people forgot that people were able to live just fine through flu, chicken pox, rubella, mumbs and even that absolutely horrifying measles disease (and by the way, half the kids that came down with measles during the most recent terrifying "epidemic" were VACCINATED - tells you something about efficacy, doesn't it?). And don't even get me started on HepB vaccination for babies; but then again, as we all are raising little parasites, it's probably not too far of a stretch to think that our kids are drug using, sex addicts too, eh? And then there are a few other recent additions to the vaccination schedule that kids in THIS country can do very well without.

Patty, we all did our research, we all do our research, and we, as parents of affected kids, have made the decision that at this point the risks of vaccination outway the benefits. It's what informed consent is all about. You have apparently decided that the benefits outway the risks for your child(ren). Again, that's what informed consent is all about too. Vaccinations are an invasive medical procedure, and therefore require careful and informed consideration and decision making (as any invasive medical procedure does).

(and as to the finger pointing at ourselves? Trust me, a lot of us DO point fingers at ourselves. As in 'how could we have been so stupid and just blindly trust the b.. s.. we were fed'... I go 'there' at least once a day..)

[Terramuggus]

HELLarious!!

[Stagmom]

Well Happy Halloween to you too, Patty. For the most part, the parents here did vaccinate their children. That's kinda the crux of the problem. If your child is vaccinated and you believe vaccines are safe and effective, as you are taught, then you've nothing to be afraid of do you? Your child is safe, regardless of whether out kids are vaccinated or sick. Ta da!

Kim, Managing Editor

[Patty]

I see alot of finger pointing in this paper, but no one is willing to point to themselves. Does the simple fact of giving birth eradicate any responsibility for outcome? Look at your self before you are willing to spread dangerous diseases amonst the rest of us.