This is Autism. In Case of Emergency, Your Seat Cushion...

Managing Editor's Note: Thank you to Barbie for this post. It's gutsy. So often parents of children with autism (and other disabilities) paste on a brave face and tell the world, "Everything is fine." Guess what? In an autism household, everything is not fine. There are ups and downs and all arounds that families not facing autism can't fathom. This isn't a reflection on our children, whom we love dearly, but on the harsh reality that is autism for many, most of all, for the kids.

By Barbie Hines

Bon Voyage

My husband and I recently planned a vacation for our family.  We were very much in need after a particularly difficult year for our son, Jimmy, who is severely afflicted.  As afflicted as my son is, he is a wonderful traveler.

In the weeks prior to our departure, we had a ‘lesson’ on Hawaii.  We used a ukulele during music time.  We practiced the hula dance (well, I did…Jimmy just laughed).  We watched a video of surfers.  We even made a vacation book, with pictures of things we would do.  We showed Jimmy online photos of the house we would be renting.  We bought a pop-up book about airports.

As we were watching Jimmy ride the escalator ‘just one more time’ before heading to our gate, I said to my husband, “We have lost so much to vaccine injury.  We have lost money, health, happiness, friends and family, the desire to have more children and faith.  But, we have not lost our family vacations – thank goodness!”

Jimmy was wonderful.  The idyllic six-year-old boy, heading off on an exciting adventure.  He was literally squealing with excitement as he pulled his Thomas the Tank Engine backpack on wheels through the airport.  I was beaming.  I sent a text to my mother and sisters, “Jimmy doin gr8!”  And then we boarded the plane.

As soon as we entered the cabin, Jimmy panicked. 

He jumped into my arms.  He started grabbing seats, trying to push us out of the cabin.  I struggled into our seats.  It took every ounce of strength I had to keep Jimmy on my lap.  Jimmy is 48 inches tall.  I am 58 inches short.  He wanted out of that cabin.  He fought with all his might.

I pulled out all the tricks.  I was singing his favorite songs in his ear.  I tried stimming on his ‘stim’ toy.  My husband ran over with the portable DVD player (my husband and daughter, Reagan, were on the other side of the plane).  I tried the back rub the chiropractor taught me.  I tried foot rubs, which always work during stressful times.  I sprayed ‘rescue remedy’ in his mouth.  I pulled out the emergency candy stash – food coloring, preservatives, the works!  His anxiety only increased.  After about thirty minutes, I could barely hold him.  A woman sitting behind me offered to switch seats with my husband, who was standing up in his seat, watching us, with a panic-stricken look on his face.  I thanked her, and my husband and daughter quickly moved behind us.

Sweat was dripping down my face.  If I released my grip on Jimmy, he would get away.  My arms were quivering (why did I quit working out?).  My poor boy had a facial expression I had never seen on him before.  He looked scared to death.  His breathing was now sounding different.  He wasn’t screaming anymore, just sort of gasping.  My daughter stuck her chubby, little 3 year old face between the seats and scolded, “Jimbo, sshhhhh!  Me playin’ Leapster!” 

A flight attendant came over and said, “You will need to tell us if there is anything we can do to help.  We cannot take off like this.”  I replied, “I understand.  Can you give us some more time?”  Shortly thereafter, the pilot announced our flight would be delayed by approximately thirty minutes, and he apologized for the delay.  Great, we are now “the delay”.  Something new for us.  My nephew may have graduated in the top 2 percent of his class this year, but could he ground a plane of 350 passengers?

After fifteen more minutes of this, I said to my husband, “I have to get off.  This is not right.  He is not capable of doing this today.”  My husband replied, “Then we will all get off.”  I sternly replied, “Oh no we won’t.  I will not lose anymore.  I will not.  I will get a sedative from the doctor, and Jimmy and I will join you in a couple days.”  With that, Jimmy broke free.  He took off down the aisle.  My husband took off after him.  I stood in the aisle dumbfounded.  I needed to run after him.  I knew he would find a way off the plane.  But I looked at my 3-year-old.  Could I leave her sitting there alone?

A sweet, young college boy stood up.  “Ma’am, go ahead.  I will sit with her.”  Reagan replied, “Oh, hi friend!  Wanna play Leapster?”  I thanked him and ran.  As I ran off the plane, a flight attendant called behind me, “Hey, you cannot just exit the plane like that.”  This at least brought a slight grimace to my face.  Watch me!
 
Ahead of me I saw my husband running.  Ahead of him I saw my son being held by a grandfatherly looking gentleman.  Jimmy was crying on his shoulder.  I yelled to my husband, “I’ll get Jimmy.  Get back to Reagan.”  He turned around and started to run back to the plane.  I was almost at Jimmy and I heard my husband yell, “Barbie!”  I turned around.  He hurled a set of car keys at me.

Jimmy and I slowly started the return to our car.  He was sobbing, not tantruming.  He continued with this very pathetic, heartfelt sobbing.  His head was in my lap on the tram ride.  As I strapped him into his carseat he signed, “Sad.”  “I know, Buddy.  Don’t worry.  I’m going to call the doctor.  He will help us.  You will get your vacation.  I promise.”

For the next nine hours, my husband was on a plane with our daughter.  We obviously didn’t plan for this separation.  He was on a plane not knowing which car rental agency had our reservation or how to get to our rental house.  I had all the travel documents.  I had his cell phone.  His wife and son were upset and away from him.  He could not fix this for his family, and he hates that.

I was on my way home.  Trying to drive, drink a diet coke (which I so badly wish had Jack Daniel’s in it), and see through tear filled eyes.  Somehow, I managed to send another text, “Jim n Rea goin 2 Hawaii.  Jimmy n I goin home.  Dont call.  2 upset.”  I didn’t know if I had house keys.  All of Jimmy’s supplements were on their way to Hawaii.  I own 7 pairs of underwear.  Six were on their way to Hawaii.  My mother ignored my text request and called.  “Can I come over?”  I replied, “Fine.  But I will be on a chaise lounge drinking a manhattan and smoking.  Don’t say a word about it.”

Two days later, we returned to the airport, liquid Valium in my purse.  Before we left the parking lot, I gave the first dose to Jimmy.  As suggested, thirty minutes later I gave another dose of Valium.  Ten minutes later, Jimmy was literally staggering.  He was staring at his hand and laughing. 

I told the flight attendant that we needed to board first, before any other passengers.  I quickly explained what happened two days prior.  She said, “You can board immediately after the Premium passengers.”  I looked over at the Premium peeps in their Armani suits.  I told the flight attendant, “They look pretty healthy to me.”  She didn’t reply.  I decided to keep staring at the Premium peeps.  Come on folks. Get it. Catch on.  He needed to get on first.  Perhaps if I stared them down, they would get it.  I knew they heard my explanation.  And, if my method didn’t work, the first guy was hot.  Not a total waste of staring, regardless of the outcome.

The flight attendant/charm school graduate asked the Hot Guy for his boarding pass.  He looked at me and said, “You first.”  A hot guy with brains.  Gotta love it!

We boarded the plane.  Jimmy was nervous again.  However, this time he was stoned, so it worked.  We took off!  Life was great for about 4 hours.  Jimmy had been sleeping since take off.

Jimmy woke up and all hell broke loose.  He didn’t know where he was, he was still stoned and he needed to use a bathroom badly.  I ran to the bathroom with him where five people were in line.  We stood there struggling for a few minutes, and I finally asked, “Can we please move to the front of the line?”  A woman, whom I now call Einstein, asked, “Why?”  I replied, “Because my son is scared, stoned and autistic.  I don’t think I can hold him much longer, and if he wets his pants he’ll really get mad and everyone on this plane will suffer.”  While I was contemplating smacking Einstein, a surfer dude came out of the other bathroom.  “Ma’am, you can use this bathroom.”  “Thank you!”  Just then, Jimmy urinated all over me.  I grabbed Surfer Dude’s arm as he walked past me.  “Please, please help me.  I am in seat 28A.  There is an orange NorthFace backpack there.  Please bring it to me.” He replied, “No problem, Dude.”  Jimmy had now stripped.  He doesn’t like having accidents.  He insists on changing all of his clothes when it happens.  Surfer Dude brought me our backpack.  I dressed Jimmy, shoved a dumdum sucker in his mouth, and we made it back to our seats.

We continued to struggle a bit.  I was wondering if I could give Benadryl with Valium?  I decided against it.  Surfer Dude walked over and asked, “Can I get you anything?”  I told him to reach in my purse and grab my wallet. “PLEASE go buy me a diet coke and Jack Daniel’s.  While you’re at it, buy yourself a drink.”  “Wow, thanks, Dude!”  From his excited response, I’m fairly certain I bought a minor a cocktail.

Surfer Dude returned with my drink (there is a God!) and handed me the change.  I begged him, “Please keep the change.  Buy yourself some condoms in Maui.”  Laughter filled the plane and continued for several minutes.

P.S.  Reagan had a wonderful vacation. She learned how to hula and loved the beach.  My Jimmy learned how to ride the waves and kayak.  He loved kayaking!  And I confirmed with our speech therapist, kayaking would facilitate crossing midline…yippee!  The flight home was perfect.  Jimmy loved it as he always has in the past.

Barbie Hines is the proud mother of a 5 year old boy, Jimmy, who is afflicted with autism.  Along with Reagan (Jimmy's sister) and Jimmy's adoring father, they live in a suburb of Chicago, Illinois.

Comments

[Ann]

Lovely heartwarming post.

Makes me more thankful to the surfer dudes & hot guys in armani suits - they have big hearts toO!

[Barbie Hines]

I do believe you could have presented 'another side of things' without judging...and yes, your comments were judgmental. Again, you judge:

"Your “screw you” attitude does not surprise me in the least."

You do not even know me! But this time I am laughing...so my response will be kinder. I sort of feel sorry for you now...

"Let’s hear your version of how it was for your 3 year old daughter to watch you run off the plane. Or how she handled suddenly being in Hawaii with dad until you and Jimmy got there."

Reagan was great. In fact, she responded, "Oh hi friend. Wanna play Leapster?" to the gentleman who helped us. She's three...in that glorious 'it's all about me' phase of life. She loved being in Hawaii with her Dad. They are very, very close. We explained to her that Jimmy was not feeling well on the plane. Mom was taking him to the doctor, and then they would join she and Daddy in Hawaii...which is exactly what happened. Reagan's life will be different than a child who does not have a sibling affected by autism. Different...but not ruined. If Reagan needed extra help, she would also get it. Both of our children had a wonderful time in Hawaii...memories of a happy family on vacation. We are willing to take many extra steps in order to provide our children with these experiences. Giving up would be easy...but not the best for our kids or our family. I suppose a typical sibling could end up feeling frustrated that their affected sibling needed so much extra care. However, a typical sibling could also end up being grateful that they had parents who would go to such great lengths to bring happiness to the family in which they were raised. No one has a 'perfect' life. I would never want either of my kids to grow up feeling they deserve only a perfect setting...that's just not how life works. My guess is Reagan will grow up having the same wonderful experiences that many other children have...while learning how to make accomodations for others who are not as fortunate as she is...and perhaps appreciating 'family fun' and dedicated parents more than those without special needs in their family. Not a bad way to grow up. I would never want her to pass up on opportunities simply because they are hard to come by...and I would always want her to help those less fortunate then herself.

Jimmy loved our vacation. Reagan loved our vacation. My husband and I loved our vacation. We did the right thing for our family, as different as our family may be...

You stated you have a son with high functioning autism...because of this, I say we call a truce here...we are both parents of children with special needs...we are both acutely aware of how difficult that can make family life at times...support is what we need to offer others in our positions...let's go forward with that...

[Twyla]

P.S. to my prior comment...

What I loved about this article is that it is simply an expression of Barbie and her family's experience. We hear quite a lot about what is the recommended best way to do things. There is value in that, but there is also value in just sharing our experiences -- the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I'm sure it was a wrenching moment when Barbie had to decide between staying with her young daughter on the plane or chasing after her son. This is a moment that many of us have experienced, to varying degrees and in various ways, when we go out into the world with a child who has a severe level of impairment along with a young sibling. It is very stressful. Yet if we just stay home we miss out on so much. Barbie wrote about this not in a preaching way, but in a way that expressed what it feels like to be in this situation.

There has been a lot of debate on the issue of whether it is inconsiderate to bring kids out to public places when they may tantrum etc. In my youth I used to see things more in terms of absolutes, but now I tend to see things more in terms of spectrums and balancing competing priorities.

For example, I think it would be wrong to bring to an expensive classical music concert a child who cannot be quiet and sit still. That is not fair to the other concertgoers. Perhaps the same might be said for an expensive restaurant. Is it just the money that is an issue? Well, no. But there is give and take. We do bring our son to the classical and jazz music concerts at our highschool. We used to sit in back so that in case he got very restless we could leave unobtrusively. These days he is better able to sit quietly, with just a few comments, and we actually did bring him to a classical concert at a concert hall. He loves music, so he was mesmerized.

There are other sorts of occasions and places where noise is more acceptable. One of my vivid memories of my son's childhood is taking him trick-or-treating. He went through a phase where he was totally fascinated with other people's houses. And, he loved blowing out candles in jack-o-lanterns. So at every house I had to carry him away shrieking because he so wanted to go into every house & explore it, and blow out every jack-o-lantern. Although it may have seemed like he wasn't enjoying himself, he loved trick-or-treating. At the end he would cry because it was over. Would it have been a more relaxing experience for my daughters if we just left him at home with Dad or sitter? I suppose so, but this was outweighed by the pluses of bringing him, and amidst the commotion of Halloween his shrieks kind of fit in.

I definitely believe that society needs to give and tolerate and learn about our kids. I agree with those who say that our kids who have paid the price for "herd immunity" have a right to acceptance and a place out in the world.

Where to draw the line? I don't think it is clear. We will all have different opinions. But to tell parents to just keep their kids at home until they can behave is all wrong (which is not what anyone on this post said -- but this has been said at other times and places). To never take the risk of meltdowns would be very unfortunate.

I guess I'm rambling on without saying much of anything except that there is no absolute answer. But Barbie's article is an affirmation of the value of wading through the marsh even when we are not totally sure of what is on the other side, and persisting in overcoming obstacles even without perfect solutions.

(My prior comment was written as "Ms. Manners" -- not to be anonymous, just making fun of myself.)

[Ms. Manners]

Mom/SpEd teacher -
I think your comment would have been more well received if you did not say things like "I am suggesting that this trip was not the best idea". This is judgemental, and you had no idea what went into choosing and planning this trip. You do not know Barbie's family, her children, her family dynamics, their vacation/travel history, etc.

As Barbie said in her subsequent comment below, her family has traveled quite a bit, and her son loves going to Hawaii. But one thing about kids with autism is that sometimes it is impossible to predict what situation will cause an overload. In this particular instance, it seems to me that the risk of traveling resulted in a wonderful vacation after the initial crisis, but that is not my point.

It would have been better if you had phrased your good advice more along the lines of, "While I don't know anything about Barbie's family, and certainly there is no sure way to prevent all meltdowns, based on my experience with my own son and my students, here are some practices that we have found helpful: Start with a short trip. Go to the airport for a 'dry run'. Show the child the seating area and the long hallway... "

Don't be surprised by the emotional response you received, as your comment was a total put-down and pulled hard at a mom's guilt strings.

[Managing Editor]

Allison, consider us "fed." And thank you. Emotions run hot when we talk about our kids. Barbie's post has started many important conversations and we're grateful to her for her honest, raw approach. It's not easy to put yourself out there for the world to see, trust me. We appreciate the dialog - even when heated.

Best,

KIM

[Allison Ford]

Your “screw you” attitude does not surprise me in the least. It makes me sad, but it does not surprise me. I did let a typo slip by. That’s because I was responding from my heart and not from the angry, defensive and anal part of me that you apparently chose to listen to in the middle of the night. I do teach spelling, and I love every minute of it. That’s because I am working directly with children who are pure and sweet. I am composing this response in Word, so I can run Spell Check, in case I overlook a mistake (which I readily admit I made). I’m more interested in getting my point across. You sound like a very involved mom who tries very hard. It is obvious that you love your children. I just want to hear/read a story written by a parent of a special needs child from the perspective of the typical sibling. Talk about interpreting your child’s feelings. Let’s hear your version of how it was for your 3 year old daughter to watch you run off the plane. Or how she handled suddenly being in Hawaii with dad until you and Jimmy got there. I can hear your angry response already. I just want to provide food for thought. I’m sure it feels like I am pointing a finger at you. I don’t mean it that way. I want the readers to think about the other side of things.

[Barbie Hines]

"Again, I'm not suggesting that she didn't do a lot to prepare for this trip, I am suggesting that this trip was not the best idea. There are a number of tropical, exotic places to vacation that are a lot easier to get to than Hawaii. I'm sure that many of you will know what I mean when I say - go to Holland, even though you wanted Italy. My comments will probably come across as judgemental to those who choose to read them that way. I'm not judging. Just observing."

First of all, screw you. If I could use stronger words and get them printed here, I would. I'm not certain how you see two sides...one as a parent and one as a special educator...this is quite simply a story of the common struggles that families dealing with autism face on a daily basis. We have traveled with Jimmy at least twice a year without any issues for him. Jimmy has been to the airport in excess of a dozen times in his six years of life. Jimmy loves our family vacations. You have no idea what our history is...and you have no idea what Jimmy wants...only we do. High functioning autism is apparently very different from what we live. That being said, Jimmy's feelings are as typical and as valid as yours. Jimmy wants vacations more than anyone else in our family. The fact that he had a hard time bothered him the most...far more than it bothered any of us. It would be easy for us to change our vacation plans...make them closer...make them less typical. That is not what Jimmy wants. I don't need a tropical vacation. I need my son to be satisfied. Since the day Jimmy lost his language, my goal is to not only interpret Jimmy's feelings...but to accomodate his feelings when I can. I do not prioritize our outings by 'what would be easier for us'...rather, I would prefer to please Jimmy and meet his desires...as I know how frustrating his life is since he was injured. He comes first. Once again, I am stunned and disappointed by yet another special education professional. I think you should get to know your child better. Take that as a judgmental comment...it is. By the way, judgmental is spelled incorrectly in your post...hoping you don't teach spelling...once again, I'm judging.

[Mom/SpEd teacher]

I am a parent and a Special Educator, so I see both sides. My son has high-functioning autism. He sounds to be like Lisa's son. Several of my students are like Jimmy seems to be. I can tell you from experience that while bad situations do arise, the children with autism who do best are the ones who have parents who keep exposing their children to new, well chosen situations. Not randomly, not on a whim, and not dropped because of a bad time. New experiences should be chosen not for the convenience or preference of the rest of the family. I am sure that several people will read this and just get mad at me. I absolutely know that the families have to make allowances every day for the child with autism. However, if you want your whole family to have a good time and a great trip together, don't choose such a huge undertaking. A very long plane trip it probably going to be rough. Fly a short distance. Go to the airport for a "dry run". Show the child the seating area and the long hallway. It's not easy and it's not pretty, but it does work. I think that Barbie did a great job under the circumstances. Her sense of humor is a gift. I don't want to bum people out, I just see so much of people who, while they deserve a life like everyone else has, want things to go well without laying the proper groundwork. Again, I'm not suggesting that she didn't do a lot to prepare for this trip, I am suggesting that this trip was not the best idea. There are a number of tropical, exotic places to vacation that are a lot easier to get to than Hawaii. I'm sure that many of you will know what I mean when I say - go to Holland, even though you wanted Italy. My comments will probably come across as judgemental to those who choose to read them that way. I'm not judging. Just observing.

[MAC]

I love the blog story and can relate very well. Robin's feelings (below) are also shared by my family, I think we should have a "take your autistic child out in the public once a week," and let the general public see what their vaccine herd mentality has done to our children. The truth is slowly coming out and the American public is going to pay dearly financially and socially because of greedy selfish people. The same ones that tell us to keep our kids home - I DON"T THINK SO! ....

"There isn’t any polite way that I can express what I think about that idea so I’ll say it the only way I can. “Screw that. Screw that, and screw them.”

We have the larger society that has subjected these children to the crap in these vaccines, and the rationale was that society had to do whatever it took to protect SOCIETY, for the greater good. But now that it’s becoming obvious that so many children have been so horrifically harmed by the vaccines that SOCIETY insisted they receive (and no, I don’t believe that it’s a genetic ‘defect’. I believe that all people respond differently to their environment based upon their genetic makeup, but that to try to determine which particular genes make a person more susceptible to a KNOWN NEUROTOXIN is the height of asinine, stupid, and evil.) society has suddenly decided that they don’t want to deal with it.

Oh no. It’s too much to expect of society. A polite parent is expected to deal with this all on their own, alone, at home. Away from everyone else so that everyone else doesn’t have to be inconvenienced."

....very well stated Robin!!

[Leila]

I like these kinds of posts on Age of Autism. This is real and relatable, and it has generated an interesting discussion about how to deal with and expose our dark feelings as parents. However I wish there weren't so many posts about vaccines, some that don't even pertain to the autism discussion.

[nhokkanen@comcast]

What an intense, well-written article; thanks for posting it. Barbie, my hat is off to you and your family. You've got guts and smarts.

My family just returned from a 3-day trip, during which every suggested activity was met with "No, I don't want to" from my ASD son, age 10. We managed the aquarium, arcade
and swimming pool, with him enjoying it all immensely.

Re: Lisa Jo Rudy, why must she miss the point and preach? I can't quite fathom the level of self-absorption necessary for someone to read a parent's heartfelt autism story but instead of sympathizing would use it as an excuse to patronize the editor. Sheesh.

[VHMC]

Wow, what a story. Our son just turned 18 and is severely affected. This past april we flew to Fla. Thankfully, other than many trips to the BR (we were able to pick our seats and sat in the very last row just for that reason)our flight went pretty well. He waited to get on just fine but kept trying to push me to get off when we landed. That was a little tense but we made it thru and had a nice vacation. Since then I've heard all the horror stories about people getting put off the plane, etc and I must admit, it has me thinking about whether I want to chance it again or not. But our family deserves a break too. We certainly aren't getting any younger - how long can we wait to live our lives??
I am curious and have a question for "samaxtics" who said she had a teenager who recovered, if I read her post correctly. How, what did you do, please, where can I find out some details??!! I just want my son to talk to me.........

[Sami]

Thank you for sharing such a great story to which I am sure we can all relate. Well, except for Lisa Jo Rudy who seems to do nothing but troll around advertising herself. You really are pathetic Lisa Jo.

[Jenny W]

I need a drink after just reading that!
What can I say! Thanks for sharing. It's oddly comforting to read stories that make my own travling circus seem more normal.

I just returned from a trip from an amusment/water park, where I got the brilliant idea that I would be fine with my NT 3 y/o and my ASD 11 y/o --by myself. Now I had friends there with their kids, to be fair, but it's still not the same as having family along to help with your own kid.

Gavin had a seizure the first night, and some the next day. The 3 y/o hates water in his face, Gavin loves water rides (he can't swim). Gavin doesn't understand he was too big for some rides, etc.
And as usual I was cast as the Ring Master.

I need a vacation now that I am back from our vacation!!

[Molly]

Barbie, that was really one of the most unreal stories I have EVER read on AofA. Thank you ever so much for sharing it with us.

And Lisa Rudy - honestly - shame on you. Did your mother not teach you any friggin manners or what? Just read the story for what it is and get off your high horse already!

[Michelle]

Barbie,
As I sat in our hbot chamber reading your post, tears were streaming down my face. I can commisserate with your experience as many of us can - we have been there too. Your sense of humor during this whole ordeal is truly inspiring. Telling the surfer dude to keep the change for condoms is something I would say. I just love it. Thank you for sharing your story!

[Mark and Elise Blaxill]

Barbie,
I live AoA every day. There are just a few times I've said to my wife Elise, "Honey, you've got to read this." This was one of those. As so many have said below, we've been there too! No one else understands that just getting to a vacation in Hawaii can be an heroic act, but in this case it was. Thanks for taking the time to bring this story to life. That's why we're all here.
Mark and Elise

[Sterks]

Barbie,

What an inspiration you are. I appreciate you sharing your story - I am so glad you and your family had a well deserved happy ending. Best of luck to you and your family and thanks for making us feel that we aren't alone! Surfer Dudes rule, Einsteins suck!

[Managing Editor Ending PlanetTalk]

Kim here - I'm stopping the comments about another person's life. Feel free to continue the dialog over at Alex's site.

Thank you.

Kim

[Cherrymam]

A tip for autistic parents, one which , in fact came in handy for me in another airline situation! I had read about a research in the field of psychology in which the researcher discovered that you could usually get people to do what you wanted if you employed the word "because". So there I was in the Seattle airport in a gigantic line- the worst I had ever seen, and along came a small philipino lady with 4 kids, the eldest about 9. Im not so great with babies, but nevertheless I ended up holding the tiny baby and standing there with the other 3 while she went to find a luggage cart. The eldest boy told me that they had to run away because of "the ash" of Mt. Pinatubo. Finally mom returned with the cart and we faced the challenge of her now being very late for her connecting flight to Florida. she needed to move up in the line, and thats when I recalled the "because" research. Im actually a bit shy, which I now attribute to 4-6 gammaglobulin injections (must have contained mercury), which I had as a young child, but I screwed up my courage told the grim faced people of that long line that "This lady needs to go ahead because...." And it worked!

[Meg Naughton]

Barbie,
I LOVE your witty sense of humor!!! And to be able to keep it in such a stressful situation??? AWESOME!
I'm so happy your vacation turned out so well. We just got back from our trip to the beach, and I have to say, I think there is magic in the ocean.
Everyone here, we all have such unique experiences, but at the heart of it is the love we have for our affected children. You're story portrays that so well.
Before my son was diagnosed I hid in my house. Everyone I loved told me he was spoiled and babied, but I knew something just wasn't right. His sensory issues were really severe, but we had the unbelievable blessing of starting biomedical interventions when he was 2 1/2...and now I can do a lot of things I couldn't do with him before.
Thank you for sharing YOUR experience with Autism. I am thankful for your bravery.

[Cindy]

Barbie,
I can relate to this story in so many ways. We have not actually had to leave an airplane but I certainly have been through the valium, bathroom isses and spent a flight being pinched and bitten. This summer for the first time we decided to forego our annual flight to the east coast beach house. Maybe next year we will try again....
thanks for posting ( I forwarded to my family so they know I am not the only one!)

[Kubatwork]

I waited to read Barbie’s post this morning while on the treadmill. Reading and exercising are one of the few things I can multitask at. What I can’t understand is why Lisa Rudy feels it necessary to explain to most every who reads AOA everyday that every child on the autism spectrum is different. As a father of a son with autism I can tell ya, I get it. Speaking for me AOA posts stories representing every side of autism. As I read stories like Barbie’s, (this is difficult to communicate through a blog) my guess is the autism parent delivers herself/himself some much needed “personal therapy” in addition to the reason his/her story was posted. On that note let me just say, real men are not afraid to cry.

[Matthew Gilbert]

Thank you for sharing your adventure with us -- I can relate to much of it, though on a smaller, less intense scale. My son, Jacob, who will be 5 in September, is moderate to high functioning, but we still have issues similar to what you wrote about. We had that "fear of death" experience 2.5 years ago when we first really knew something was wrong. But what I can really relate to is that feeling of nobody else really ever "getting it." Sadly there are far too many "Einsteins" in this world and not enough "Surfer Dudes." Bravo on your ingenuity and determination!

[Autismville]

Just a fantastic, relatable post. I'm so happy for your happy ending.